Ulax

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Everything posted by Ulax

  1. Hi all, Would highly recommend this book for those seeking to overcome trauma. Seem to me like quite a few folks who struggle with the unblending aspects of traditional IFS find value in the teaching of Fisher. Also, seems to me that quite a few of these guys, including myself, are rather dissociative. So, might be worth checking this book out if you're struggling with IFS whilst dealing with dissociation. Btw, although I think the whole book is valuable, the exercises for parts work included in the appendix of the book are particularly great. I'd recommend checking them out as soon as you get the book, if you do choose to get it. Cheers. (P.S. Fisher also has a workbook called, 'Transforming The Living Legacy of Trauma: A Workbook for Survivors and Therapists'. I haven't finished most of it. However, it seems like a really useful step by step guide for learning her approach to parts work.)
  2. 'The four Agreements' By Don Ruiz, and 'Seven Habits of highly effective people' by Covey, could be useful books for a general secular blue framework. The most blue integration I've personally felt was when I followed covey's advice of, 'Make small commitments and keep them'. I intend to return to that mindset one day. Regarding discipline, 'Atomic Habits', and 'Deep work' are useful for discipline imo. Military dudes can be useful sources for discipline and examples of integrity. I'd be wary of toxic masculine elements of their teaching though. Hope that helps.
  3. @something_else I think we have a difference of opinions
  4. You can always blame people for reacting badly, imo. People can tell you to leave. Or that they don't like you. That's cool. But if they start yelling at you that they don't give a fuck, that is abusive behaviour, and that's on them.
  5. Dude you're good. Having people yell at you, or tell you to fuck off is abusive behaviour from them, and that shit is on them. You aren't doing anything abusive by approaching or talking to someone or attempting to stand up for yourself. I'd read, 'When I say no I feel guilty' so that you understand your assertive rights. Those police officers were acting weird too, unless something about your vibe struck them as a bit off. With the officer's, in future, you can try to do 'seek first to understand then be understood', i.e. repeat back exactly what they said to you in different words. Then I'd leave because you could be dealing with an erratic police officer.
  6. Lol sounds fun for a while. But feel it would be a very limited life nonetheless. So, I'll pass.
  7. @Someone here Ye dude I'm with Raze. I'd get into Internal Family Systems therapy. Your choice ofc but think it could help you. Btw if the unblending stuff is hard for you, and/or you're pretty dissociative, Janina Fisher's take on the IFS model is useful too, imo. Good luck
  8. @Someone here Okay, gotcha. I believe every description made and that ever will be made is entirely filtered by human biases and emotional state. Regarding your example, I'd say there are numerous subjective claims that are involved with that process. Any means of measurement is something subjectively created by man.
  9. @Tyler Robinson Respectfully, I recall you previously saying you have BPD. To my understanding, this sounds very much like a BPD emotional reaction. I'd recommend being wary of looking to the spiritual path for answers at this point in time.
  10. @Thought Art Dafuq, what point in the vid did he say that? (I havent watched the newest vid)
  11. I think the two go hand in hand. People tend to rationalise what they desire to be okay. That said, I don't think its widely considered to be okay. Most people seem to condemn it.
  12. Imo its because of a combination of two things. Evolutionary biology and gender socialisation. Firstly, evolutionary biology shows that men and women have different mating strategies and these lead to different perceptions of cheating. Men have a stronger natural desire to have as much sex and reproduce with as many women as possible. That is largely because there are low repercussions for engaging in the process of child bearing for them, for it is women who have to deal with the vulnerabilities that come with pregnancy, and men have way more sperm than women have eggs. A woman will naturally be more inclined to want a committed relationship, particularly during pregnancy and as the couple ages, because she is vulnerable and, relative to the man, loses much more of her sexual attractiveness quicker and at an earlier age. Therefore, compromising the existing relationship via cheating makes much less senses from an evolutionary perspective to women. Secondly, gender socialisation refers to the different ways that men and women are generally socialised in societies. I'll focus here predominantly on US style socialisation. Men are socialised to exile feelings of sadness, and compassion, where as women are socialised to exile feelings of anger, generally. Men's process of socialisation makes them less able to care emotionally or themselves or for others as women - making men more disagreeable. Women's process of socialisation makes them less able to draw boundaries, and makes them more agreeable. Cheating in relationships involves breaking the expectations set around that relationship, in other words, it involves overstepping the boundaries of the agreement between two people. Men are socialised in a way which makes them less likely to respect other people's boundaries than women, while women are socialised in a way where they will overly respect other people's boundaries and preferences. The result being that men are socialised in a way which makes them more likely to cheat than women, from a socialisation perspective.
  13. What is your favorite game? - FIFA 19 What is your favorite co-op game? - Call of Duty Black ops 2 Search and destroy (for the memories with former bros) What is your favorite retro game? - Super mario bros (on gameboy colour) What is your favorite online FPS? - Modern Warfare 3
  14. I think you would need a economics or sociological study to hand in order to analyse this. Also, it could be that in some areas of the states its much harder, and in some places much easier. Also, it might depend on what kind of business you are starting. On a more intuitive level, my opinion is that this isn't likely to be true (re US being worst for entrepreneurship). The republicans have just been in power, and had control of the house of representatives. Which, to my mind, would make it likely that small businesses would have gained numerous benefits over the last few years, making entrepreneurship generally easier, at least from the governmental side of things.
  15. Imo, the parts of the mind are all well-intentioned. They all think they're really doing what is best for you. However, often they are misguided. For example, they desire junk food as they see it as a high-calorie meal that will help you survive for longer.
  16. @FlyingLotus Thanks for keeping up with this!
  17. That's sick! What type of meditation have you generally done?
  18. Can run some PSTEC click tracks
  19. The boys Dexter The Walking Dead Breaking Bad Game of Thrones Chuck Gossip Girl One tree hill Prison Break House Friends
  20. Why is it so hard to make sense of the political situation of the world? You could argue that it is because all grand narratives are arbitrary. That would be a postmodern position, one I ultimately align with.
  21. @Devin I only hit burn out properly once. I was just super exhausted all the time. Before that experience I didn't take the possibility of burn out seriously. Maybe its useful to experience once so that you have an understanding of it. I don't really know exactly how to recognise your limit. I'm sure there'll be some psychological symptoms on the web by a prominent doctor somewhere tho. I guess you could push your limit back by using various methods/ strategies too minimise stress. So your limit may only be a limit in the context of your current stress management system.
  22. @RickyFitts Great!
  23. Do you believe that for something to be objectively true it must be justified? For example, if I point at something and say it a cat, I need to justify why what I am pointing at is a cat for it to be objectively true that it is a cat