Roy

Now you're getting it! She likes the idea of getting fucked by someone famous, the body is still ugly but she will overlook that.

Being hilarious and cheerful doesn't give you a 6 pack or sculpted chest. Having prestige because you're a skilled dentist isn't going to change you being born with a chiseled jaw or great hairline, or not. So no, they have absolutely nothing to do with physicality. You're confusing social attraction and physical attraction, they interact with each other in ways, but they are not exclusively the same thing. A woman might change her mind from not wanting to fuck an ugly looking guy, to wanting to be with him after learning he's a great match for her personality wise and intimately yes, but that's because she's attracted to something abstract. Not the actual physical body. The core of what makes a man physically attractive, is his literal body. Otherwise the word "physical" doesn't mean anything, at all. If words don't mean anything we might as well be talking gibberish.

What are you talking about LOL? Have you ever been outside walking around the street before? (jk btw) There are plenty of grotesque looking men with balloon size beer guts walking around with jaw dropping women all the time. Want to know why? > Prestige, success, wealth, charisma, personality. These have mostly nothing to do with physical attraction. You can be a cave troll and with the right social skills be able to get great looking women.

Because of the sex marketplace. Relationships have a lot of factors but the main base reason we get into relationships is because you want a steady supply of sex/ability to produce children. Women are the gatekeeps because they are only willing to give so much, while men are ravenous with how much they want. This creates a leverage of power for women because men are willing to lower their standards to get what they want more than women are. In other words, women are smarter and respect themselves more on average lmao, so men are literally shooting themselves in the foot and sabotaging their own position by being so horny. That only explains one part of it though. Another huge part of the value imbalance is everyone is selfish and always wants a partner who is better than them. Unless you're a narcissist I guess.

The reason I am being blunt here is because there is clearly hesitation in his OP. That is addressed by simple, direct answers. Not an essay of endless information that will confuse him even further. I'm not a PUA and this isn't PUA advice. I've never needed to nor practiced any of that material in my life. In fact what might surprised you is irl I'm probably more gentle and give off the image of a quintessential "nice guy" more than any guy on this forum; The only difference is I know how to avoid the traps of get walked over, taken advantage of, or sacrificing/SIMPing myself over a woman and I can do it all without becoming a quasi-sexist PUA douche. It depends on the inflection and content of their conversations and relationship, but yes telling her that he is waiting for her could be a bad idea. That was the issue I was warning. The problem here is you are simply misinterpreting. He can communicate what I've said without being rude. It should be so obvious this is the case that it would be insulting if I had to even summon that caveat, considering the fact he explicitly stated he's, "got better with his social skills". @Preety_India You frequently diverge and derail threads by getting invested too much in what others are saying on this forum. Let's do our part to give the best experience to @The Don by focusing on him and what he needs. I'll give my advice to him, you give your advice to him, and he can choose to respond and learn from each or either if he wishes.

Your answer was fine but the only problem was the "and anyways, the offer remains available". That communicates a mild degree of weakness and availability. If she changes her mind again and possibly asks you out? Tell her "no sorry, the offer isn't there anymore, that time has passed". It's one thing if she's confused, but if she's maybe playing any games there needs to be consequences. If either is the case you probably don't want her as a partner anyways. It may go against your intuition and wants but hey, this is the larger mating game that is going on, and it's important you do the best you can and not settle or let yourself be taken advantage of. You should be looking for women who are more stable and sure of themselves.

Perhaps, but you're still thinking about it > which means you care too much > which is precisely what repels them. As for @The Don. You getting to know each other better was probably the insight she was looking for that would have also happened on a date if you asked her out sooner. She probably intuited you weren't a good match or what she was looking for, which is why she changed her mind. The process was different but the result was probably inevitable. It is what it is, whatever. There are 4 billion other women to pick from. It's good you never asked why she rejected you, because it would have made you look weak and needy and she also probably wouldn't have given you a straight answer like I just did here. Never listen to what a women says they want. Watch and observe their actions instead. Women don't truly know what they want, at least not in an immediate logical way they can explain. They learn through trial and error which takes experience and action. You need to find the answers on your own as well. So don't ask her no matter how desperate your curiosity is.

People change their minds. Get over it and move onto the next one.

I'll pick a vaccine where scientists and medical professionals have massive incentive and pressure to do a good job, over getting bat flu which can do serious damage to your cardiovascular system, thanks very much. This should be obvious. Since it's so damn contagious we pretty much have to pick between one or the other. In fact it would be irresponsible NOT to get the vaccine as you're basically acting as a willing vector for the disease to spread. You could have no idea if you have it either, which is the problem. You know what, I'm not going to tip toe and I'll be even more blunt here. Be a fucking adult! Get the vaccine when available, and keep wearing a mask and social distancing until this thing is over. I'm sure I'm not the only one sick of human stupidity endangering others. In fact I'll go one step further and add that anyone who contests otherwise reveals themselves to be ignorant to the comparison of Trumpism.

@Leo Gura I know you were probably in another place in your life when you did this, but don't you kind of regret this? Is bringing up mild cheating as sort of a brag the kind of behavior you want to advertise here? C'mon mate you have more tact than this. As for the OP @Javfly33. When things do get better and it is safe to approach in public again, remember and contemplate this; when you see a hot girl and want to approach and feel that fear > Think to yourself, does it really make sense for you as a man to be more scared of the women than she is of you? There are many more rational fears in life, like being homeless if you lose your job, or losing family members, or getting in a car accident. But as a man does it make any sense to be scared of a woman? No, absolutely not. What's the worst she can do to you? Humiliate you? So what, if you learn to stop giving a fuck what they say, then what can she do? Nothing at all. It makes 0 logical sense to be scared of women. What you should be scared of is a fucking hungry bear on a hiking trail lol. That is logical fear, not some pretty girl who was lucky to be born pretty.

You know I'm not serious, right?

Women are like cars, a new one comes around the corner every 10 minutes. There are literally millions of women out there for you dude. Don't get so hung up on one. You think that one was so special but it's not true, it's just a big thought story you've told yourself.

What the fuck does this even mean lmao?

If you don't have company; friends or lovers, who you're able to share vulnerable things with and get support from you need to do some social circle upgrading lol.

You have created a huge thought story based off of an experience, or multiple experiences. However like the word says, they are just "stories". Literally fabrications in your mind. They do not dictate current reality or potential future realities. Easier said than done, but you need to ditch those thoughts in your head and start imagining a you and a reality where women do love you back. It could easily be real. There is no reason that it can't, unless you continue to let those thought stories run rampant.

Well consider human health is comparatively fragile and we have all sorts of bizarre sicknesses and ailments that other animals simply don't suffer from. You don't need to be a window licking mouth breathing conspiracy theorist to know it's common sense that all the chemicals we put in our food, all the toxins we spew into in the air, and all the different radio waves and other signals we have buzzing around us, affect us in one way or another. The question is are these things helping you enough that your life is significantly better and more fulfilling with them? What modern conveniences are you willing to sacrifice to improve your health? We are all going to die anyways. As long as you take care of the basic stuff like eating well and not smoking like a chimney, you should live a decently long life and feel good. I wouldn't stress over Bluetooth earbuds. Although if you're a little skeptical just consider using them less.

I've seen plenty of that talk in red pill communities. It's fucked up lol. I don't have a personal issue with age gap relationships, love knows so bounds and all. But yea this kind of thing is deliberately done out of a patriarchal sense of selfishness. They consider women above 25 "spoiled goods" with too much baggage, and they lose their fertility. Just a bunch of absurd expectations and perceptions. All rooted in self-bias. Of course never spending a moment considering their own flaws. Personally I don't consider a relationship with any woman if she doesn't match my level of maturity. That's basically the only criteria I won't negotiate on.

Of course I don't want this to happen, but we could very well be on track for the possibility of a full blown collapse of civilization. Barring no nuclear war, it could be hundreds or even a thousand years until humanity learns the lessons of the current greed we are indulged in, and finally move up to being at the level of conscious nous you're expecting, generally. It's a naive and dangerous thing to assume progress is going to be a completely linear process. It could be 7 steps backwards, 9 steps forward. There are no rules and it's chaotic. Think about how it took 2 world wars and 50+ million dead to learn the lesson of nationalism. Yet we still aren't even completely past it yet.

I don't have words to offer that will immediately get you over these tough feelings, but at least I hope what I offer might give you a new perspective that makes you have a healthier outlook on the situation. First thing to know is this probably has nothing to do with you, so you don't need to blame yourself, like your mind is probably self-sabotaging and doing to you these past few years. What SHE chose to do is on HER. She made a deliberate choice to betray your trust. Perhaps you might have contributed in some way (not accusing you here, just genuinely don't have any idea because you didn't share), but regardless of what you might have done or not done, that doesn't excuse any of her actions. She should have been an adult and had the emotional maturity to confront you about her feelings, and either worked through them with the chance of failing, or simply divorce you so you both could move on without such an event. Emotions of anger, resentment, and distrust are going to be there naturally, and that's ok. Feel them as you need to feel them, then let them go. Time will be your healer in that regard. But what YOU need to do here is be conscious enough not to direct any of those feelings towards or at anyone, not towards yourself, and not towards her. Simply let them arise, and then recede. It's a shame that something like this happened, but remember you are a victim here, not the perpetrator! So does it make sense to beat yourself up and loathe? Of course not! If you can realize this logically, you can realize it emotionally as well. The problem is a lot of people are willing to admit something as a logical truth but don't try to steer their emotional behavior in the direction of those truths as well. They stew and attach in unhealthy and negative ways. Make them positive and healthy instead. Basically love yourself and accept yourself. You are a good person who was taken advantage of. You aren't the one with the problem here, she is. She isn't strong enough to confront her own emotions or take responsibility for her actions, and will suffer the karma for that. We are only in control of ourselves ultimately, focus on that and how YOU feel, and being the best person you can be. It can be hard because you are probably desperate for answers, but realize even if you get the answers they won't even help you, and might just affirm some negative thought patterns you have about yourself or your relationship with her. You don't need the answers, you will live on and be fine without them. Let time erode that need. Make sure to maintain a strong and good relationship with your children, as that's what's important. Do not turn them against her if the temptation is there. That will just lead to suffering. She might have already tried to draw you into that game, but there is nothing to be gained so do not play it. In the end the kids are the ones who suffer anyways. Just be detached and non-reactive when you detect this is happening. Love for your children is all that matters. I also hope you didn't get divorce raped and got your appropriate share of things and custody. Men can get treated quite unfairly in this regard. Your world is not crumbled, it is not over. Something bad just happened to you and you can and will recover, if you believe you can @ern. Take care.

1. Sex with someone else, especially someone that you love and loves you, is way better than any sex you could give yourself. Proof? Go have sex with someone. 2. True, but there are benefits as well for the things you sacrifice. Emotional understanding, sharing of experiences, growing together, etc. 3. Agree with this, don't really have a counter-point. Plenty of people are social though and get happiness and joy from others. Not everyone has the capacity for that introversion. 4. lol too bad? That's the cost of having children. You literally create a life and have the responsibility of taking care of it. You don't get to have your cake and eat it too. 5. It could happen, it could also not happen. 6. Refer to #5. 7. Refer to #5 8. You don't know that. You are not omniscient. 9. Before enlightenment - chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment - chop wood, carry water. 10. You can also find deep love in relationships. I get your hang ups and your perspective, but it also just sounds like you have an axe to grind with relationships because of a bad experience, or are simply looking at things too logically and autistic-like. Relationships are based a lot around emotion and intuition. Not everything can be reduced down to X's and O's. You think you are pointing out the ego and selfishness of something here but you are also approaching the problem from the same nature. Your whole language here has an aura of talking about the subject like it's pure exchanges. Of course there are many more dynamics at play here.

I remember watching Drew Binksky's travel clog on Afghanistan. Such a beautiful place with amazing people, and has so much potential as a country. It is a monumental shame that it's in the state it is in. Humanity is at a loss with Afghanistan like this.

I am a Slytherin, one of the good ones, of course.

Think with the right head dude. It's smart not to just have random spontaneous sex, especially with those who you have the dynamic of living with. Thank yourself for that reactive "no". Your mind probably came up with that answer because it was the right one for you at that moment. Stop beating yourself up. You don't deserve it.

Depends, how grueling and energy consuming is your work or school week? Experiment. Set your alarm to get exactly 8 hours of sleep one week, then the following do 7 hours a night. See what gives you enough so that you feel good in your body.

What else could it be? Other than it's own perpetuality? It is the bottom that creates the bottom.