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Everything posted by PenguinPablo

  1. Ive been on this self actualizing journey for a while now. Meditating for 4 years, watching Leo, RSD, retreats and psychedlics but I feel like I still hang on with the same people. Ive tried to introduce this stuff to my friends but theyre usually disinterested ad I find their laziness uninspiring and disgusting to be frank (the ones with victim mindset anyway). And i know that sounds judgemental but I need to find better circles to make friends and grow from here. Makes no sense to be interested in enlightenment for instance but be part of a violent gang in LA. It contradicts. Anyway, just looking for some ideas where to find people in everyday life + some venting.
  2. @John Lula you're right friend
  3. @d0ornokey extremely true. also i know im just projecting my own frustration along my journey
  4. He asked it as a hypothetical question. His attitude/cravings is a seperate thing I would say.
  5. Joseph Goldstein, Gil Fronsdal, Leo Guru, Shaila Catherine
  6. they feel incredibly masculine and feminine simultaneously. just basic "no-nothing". try to not reach for a special experience or avoid anything either. stop trying to be anything or make anything of this situation. just sit.
  7. How about the arhat Daniel Ingram M.D. ? He's an ER doctor I believe.
  8. Highly recommend watching Johnny Soporno (or Zan Perrion) for some for ENLIGHTENED dating stuff.
  9. Eckhart Tolle used to come across like that too me when I first got into this stuff. Weird vibe. I feel I have made considerable progress over the years thanks to Leo and a few other sources and now Eckhart feels really nice to me. Think its just from our reference point we are afraid of what we dont understand.
  10. @Bruno there are a couple here already
  11. just go up to random people and say: "hi my name is @Psyche_92, what's your name?" start with this.
  12. I agree. But in the modern landscape. And with school and all it doesnt feel like I can afford to live like this even though it feels healthier
  13. no. i pretty much hated my dad. on some level felt bad for him but mostly hated him. even now i still resent him. this is all "conscious aspect". I still became neurotic myself, feel deeply ashamed of myself, worthless, etc... I know "consciously" this doesn't make sense. There's not even thoughts in my head telling me this anymore. But the underlying emotion in social situations is this. This is what you internalize, unconsciously. Your scars if you will, even if you are consciously aware that your parents were insufficient. Besides a lot of this attachment trauma occurs when your're very young, like 1-3 or something.
  14. @Mason Riggle hey man. I dont think it quite works like that. Sounds like youre engaging in some massive spiritual bypass and not being honest with yourself.
  15. incest porn so you can go back to SOURCE
  16. i had the same realization. i was using it to avert negative mental states in a way. to cope.
  17. @Preetom it's porn, not meth youngster. @SOUL yeah. not sure if it makes a difference but im intent on jumping in the opposite direction behavior for the sake of proving to that inner tyrant that shit aint so srs.
  18. Interesting idea. Can you elaborate @Truth Addict? I went hard af with meditation for like 1 month after a retreat. Eventually meditating on the breath 24/7. However I burnt out and started playing video games hours every day and binging pronography for several days. Still putting this all back together. Not sure what is right or what is wrong.
  19. 99% of that pain is your mind's aversion. All this stretching, and aversive subconscioud thought patterns literally create the knots in your body while you sit, which shift from small discomforts to excruciating pain. Eventually once the mind understands this, it stops this aversive attitude and tensions stop being msde in the body.