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@john5170 I've noticed the same thing. Your dreams aren't random. Whenever I have a deeply vivid dream, it always contains insights into my own shadows / what I still have left to purify in my subconscious. So it may be the result of you starting your spiritual purification work through meditation. Have you noticed anything significant about the content of these dreams?

@TJ Reeves I resonate with this 100%. I always heard how men repress their emotions growing up but I thought it was a bunch of bullshit. In reality, I just had no awareness of how much I was stuffing things down. Things I've cried over recently: 1) Music I love 2) Seeing people coming together for a common good 3) Helping others 4) No reason at all, just happy to be alive It's powerful too, stronger than most emotions I can remember growing up. But I love it.

@Vladimir I'm glad you're still going out and actually approaching women. And if your strategy works for you, great. I'm not going to argue. But I've seen a lot of guys who have tried to fix their dating life without being pragmatic and they fuck up a lot. Essentially what you're saying is measuring your results and setting tangible goals = being neurotic. But that's simply not true. Try running a business and saying "oh, I don't need to do things like measure revenue, expenses or set quarterly goals. That's so low consciousness. It's all about just connecting authentically to your customer". I guarantee you will fail. Health is the same way. Do you think professional bodybuilders just wing it? Or are they tracking every calorie, every exercise, every macro? How about landing a man on the moon? Should we just "follow our intuition"? Or should we actually have some engineers do some calculations and set targets? Do you keep a clock to measure time? How about a schedule? A drawer to keep your bank statements? And if we grant that measuring, planning and goal setting is important, why does it suddenly become unimportant when it comes to improving your dating life? Here's the nuance to what I'm saying: you can measure your results and set goals in a non-neurotic way. "OMG, I set a goal for 5 dates this month and only got 4. I suck so bad. Let me cry and put a gun in my mouth" = neurotic, perfectionism, recipe for failure. "Oh, I got 4 out of the 5 dates I wanted this month. That's awesome, let's objectively look at what I did to learn and grow to do even better" = growth oriented, accepting of feedback, positive self-image, actualizing potential. So the evil is not in measuring or goal setting. It's in how you go about it and your intentions. You have a logical, left side of your brain for a reason. Being a strategic and analytical is a beautiful thing as long as you know its limits. But you also need to know the limits of your strategy of "being authentic". Because that will only take you so far as well.

I'd keep in mind that this is not an "either or" decision. Many public speakers post on YouTube as well. If you want more money because you want to contribute more to veganism, understand it's not going to happen unless you are doing something you feel is valuable. A software development company you have little to no passion for is not going to get very far. So I'm going to tell you what work is or is not valuable. Only that you have to decide for yourself. Also, if you're working for Mercy For Animals, how is that not contributing to veganism? What rule says that the only way to help animals is to cut a big check? Just because non-profit Presidents are always looking for donations? Why can't you set the standard?

@Vladimir Emotional mastery is absolutely vital and it's good you've realized inner game is important. But... it's only one half of the equation. First off, your mind needs tangible goals to reach onto. When you say "my goal is emotional mastery", that's such a vague concept that it doesn't mean anything. How will you know when you achieve it? How will you truly know when you're making progress and backsliding? But if you say "my goal is 5 dates this month" or "my goal is to talk to 10 girls tonight", now you have something very specific to get to work on. You'll either succeed or fail. And you'll know where you stand right away and can start making adjustments. Second, how do you plan on getting better with women when you don't actually spend time talking to women? Imagine that someone told you that the way to become an amazing guitarist was by focusing on "emotional mastery" instead of actually playing guitar. Third, the process of going out and meeting women in of itself can create the emotional mastery you're talking about. You're going to have to push through your fears day in and day out, working through them in the process. The other side of the equation is pragmatism. Do you live in a place where you have access to the women you want to date? The right clothes? If you like clubs, how about knowing the name of the doorman on the night you go out? The difference between getting a girls phone number and Snapchat? Where is the best after-hours place? Create a more holistic perspective and that's when you'll really see results. That's when you combine all the great inner game techniques you listed and the practical, down to earth concerns that need to be addressed as well.

@ShapeShift His journey is a great example of what the awakening process can look like in the early stages. Ego runs the house until the inherent unsustainability of the system catches up. I've got friends who had the same thing. They were highly successful, but the way they went about it eventually causes everything to fall apart. That's when they're forced to grow. It doesn't have to happen that way but it is almost an inevitablity for anyone living that life.

@Space Coyote My gut says you are changing and that your current job insecuity is a symptom of your growth. As when change internally, the outside world must begin to reflect back the changes you are making. Is being a "glorified cashier" something that feels aligned with your highest purpose? From the way you describe it, I'd say no. And so you're starting to see friction. Practical next step, spend some time day dreaming about what you want your life to look like and write it down. Don't worry about a "how" right now.

@ArasH First off, you are creating your own reality whether you know it or not. So the fact that nofap has a self-fullfilling prophecy association is not surprising. Your whole life is a largely a self-fullfilling prophecy. As to whether nofap actually works, I've found it really depends on the person and their intention. It helped me at one point just because I was hooked on porn and had to just cut the whole thing. So don't worry about whether nofap is inherently useful for everyone or what science says because you're not going to get an answer everyone agrees on. Think for yourself. Does this make sense for ArasH right now? You can always change your mind after experimenting.

This is an interesting point because every area of success does still follow from certain spiritual principles. And yet if that's all you focused on you'd be fucked. For instance, let's say you were doing meditation with the intention to get better at game. It would definitely help. But if you're new to game, you'd be WAY better off just taking that hour and actually going out because game is a skillset. Imagine you're trying to learn guitar. Sure, meditation could help you get into flow states easier and release your creativity, but more important in the beginning is you just sit there and play for many hours. Plus, there's always a large element of strategic thinking in success. Guys who aren't doing game in a strategic way will spend hours and hours trying to do something that would be stupid simple with an effective system. So ideally, it's always a balance. I want to meditate, be authentic AND I want to systematize every detail to what seems like an obsessive degree where everything I'm doing is conscious and on purpose. Right brain, left brain.

That's definitely possible. Sometimes we get pushed into situations that we can't fully understand the larger picture of until later. I'd say just keep following your passion like you are and keep an open mind to it. There may be a unique way that this ends up helping you in the future.

"Assertive" is probably the word you're looking for. You have high enough self-esteem to go after what you want and stand up for yourself, but you're not looking to bring others down. So really it's a question of self-esteem. There's many ways to get self-esteem, but one of the easiest is to simply do what you want. When you do what you truly want, you reinforce the belief that you deserve to have whatever it is you're going after. Over time, that builds massive self-esteem. Conversely, when you have a need and you tell yourself "oh, it's okay, it's not really that important. That person is probably busy anyway, I'm just a nice guy who doesn't disturb anyone", you reinforce that your needs are not important and you don't deserve whatever it is. And if your needs are not important and you don't deserve it, that reinforces the belief that YOU are not important and not worthy. So just keep that in mind. It's not necessarily about the thing itself, it's that your needs matters.

@Lynnel Have you read The War of Art by Steven Pressfield? Sounds like you might be in a perfect place to check it out.

The first question is: why? If it's something you love so much that you'd spend hours of your time doing for free, why not also get paid? I'm not trying to convince you that you should. But this is definitely something I would spend some honest time introspecting on if you haven't already. Maybe ask some friends you trust to weigh in.

@onacloudynight First off, you don't need to find your exact life purpose to raise your consciousness. Reading a book could raise your consciousness. Being in the shower could raise your consciousness. Going out and getting drunk could raise your consciousness. Everything exists to raise your consciousness, so don't make the mistake of thinking you need to "wait". Second, I'd ask you why do you think people care about helping the world? It's a deep question. When you see a Martin Luther King or Nelson Mandela or anyone who has been idolized as someone who "helped", what motivated them? Then ask yourself: how am I currently viewing the world that's different? What I generally find is that wanting to help the world is actually a byproduct of you raising your consciousness. When you're unconscious, you don't see or care how your actions affects others. You don't see that we're all essentially the same and all equally important. You don't see how purely egoic behavior is actually making you miserable. You don't see that your selfish behaviors are born out of unresolved fears. You don't see that your desire to simply take, take, take is actually the same reason why you don't get, get, get.

@Himanshu It's an interesting thought. Napolean Hill talked about it in Think and Grow Rich. Personally I'm not convinced. I've just seen too many counter examples of low-achieving guys that get laid all the time.

Go deeper. Basically I would say this every time I hit a obstacle in my goals. It was a reminder that the solution is out there and I have to just keep digging to find it.

@Electron What if you were lying to yourself? You don't seem that content being alone 24/7. You're seeking out strangers on the internet to get advice from.

@Kimasxi What's going to happen is you're going to keep crashing and burning until you let go of needing this. Neediness does not attract people. It repeals them. Once you let go, you'll probably start seeing a slow shift in the way you get along with people

Do some research on modern spiritual teachers, I'd think you'd be surprised how many are in a relationship. Eckhart Tolle is great example. I'd actually say that it's harder to date when you haven't done any sort of enlightenment work. If you haven't healing the wounds of the ego, your relationships will be needy, toxic, angry, drama-filled. If you're single, you'll be massively afraid of rejection, authentic connection and have limiting beliefs around what sort of woman you serve. I get what you're saying about the dating pool becoming smaller as you move up the ladder of consciousness. But not every girl you meet or date has to be long term relationship material. And when you do find that person who you really click with, you'll enjoy it even more because you know how rare it is.

@Joseph Maynor Definitely agree. There's really no nice way to say this: when you start making progress in personal development, the average person's problems look ridiculous af. The other day at the grocery store I saw this old woman freaking out at the cashier because he wouldn't accept her 10% off coupons. Why? Because that's all shes got. Think about it. She probably spends hours clipping those things out of her latest issue of Reader's Digest. It's the highlight of her day. But let's not even make it about judging other people. YOUR old problems should start to look ridiculous as well. That's how you know you're moving forward.

@sweater Social Circle Blueprint, Social Circle Blueprint, Social Circle Blueprint. It's by RSD Luke. Some may not be completely applicable if you're really that young but his stuff about the YouArmy and people collecting could definitely help you.

@OnceMore Yes, we all know that comparing yourself to others is a black hole because there's always someone better. And that even if you were to reach the top, your position is never secure and permanent. So it makes sense to things like therapy, meditation, journaling etc to work out these issues. But you what else helps? YOU actually going out and putting in your best effort to have whatever is it you're jealous of. The reason you're jealous that people are out there killing it is because you know you could be doing the same. So when you see others succeeding and chasing dreams, it eats at you. You're not living up to your potential and being who you want to be. A personal example of this in my own life was when I started turning around my sex life. I used to be angry at guys who got laid and at the girls that fucked them. But what it really was is that I just didn't feel like I could be a part of that. I was jealous. Once things flipped for me in that area, suddenly I could see that these people were perfectly fine the way they were. In fact, many of them were amazing people. I my vision was clouded by my own self-agenda to feel good about myself. In the end, everyone has to make a decision. Do you want to be a hater and rationalize the lack of results you're producing, or do you want to push your limits, actualize your potential and be a winner? The day you truly pick the second, everything changes.

Keep in mind I'm speaking from the perspective of a dude who DID quit his job. Basically, I've spent the last year and a half weaving through this maze of financial hell because of what I did. And while I don't regret it for a second, it has been one of the hardest things I've ever done. And I'm still not totally out, which is why I work like I've got a gun to my head. I do think in general being strategic about a decision like quitting your job is a good idea. I certainly could have strategized better, and maybe it would have saved me a ton of stress. Maybe I'd be more successful now if I had I just been a little bit more patient and saved some money. But here were the facts for me: 1) I could not stand doing what I was doing for one more second 2) I knew my life purpose was far more 3) I knew that if I didn't take the leap now, the fear-based rationalizations for not quitting would just get stronger and stronger. 4) I had a proven track record of being able to set a difficult goal and accomplish it In the end, you really have to know yourself on this one. What kind of life does @Lauritz want? How much risk and stress can he handle? What does that inner intuition say? From reading your post, it seems like you're leaning towards quit. So if that's the case, be as smart about it as possible because it's probably going to be 10x harder than you think either way.

@Mrkvn8 Wait till you feel on track with your life purpose. Your whole definition of "fun" changes. Aside from my work, here is the list of things I find "fun" at this point in my life: 1) Meditation, i.e doing nothing 2) Yoga, i.e doing nothing while on a mat 3) Eating Vegetables, i.e eating what tastes like nothing 4) Hot Saunas and cold showers 5) Watching documentaries 6) Attending self-actualization workshops 7) Answering people's questions on Leo's forum 8) Sex 9) Walking in nature 10) Swimming / surfing 11) Making music

@Sky There is no "best". There is only what is useful for you right now. Think of beliefs as tools to get you from point A to point B. That's all. If a teacher speaks a truth and it resonates with you, good. Follow it. If a teacher speaks a truth and it doesn't resonate with you, good. Don't follow it. Now you're probably wondering "but how do I know what is useful right now"? That requires you to go inside and feel out the answer. What does your intuition say? What you'll find is that many of these "contradictions" are not contradictions at all. You just didn't understand the full subtlety of what was being said and took things at face value. Other times you'll find that a certain belief just doesn't serve you at all anymore. Keep learning. Keep going inside and listening to yourself. Embrace ambiguity and confusion as best you can.