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@gilbert Meetup threads are a no-go. I'm going to lock this.

@Charlotte Congrats on your successes so far. As far as coffee, find ways to crank your energy naturally. Deep breathing, meditation, eating healthy, exercise / physical movement are all great places to start. Then if you want, after that you can go REALLY deep down the energy rabbit role.

@rush From one perspective, there's nothing "necessary" to be happy. Meditation teaches you that very quickly, since you get to a point where you can love just sitting in presence and nothing else. So no, you don't "have" to leave your 9-5 job in order to happy. But here's the thing. I'm slightly misleading you by saying that because the truth is more complex. What I've found is that people who ignore the element of life purpose really regret it and become bitter. It becomes this repressed energy that always, always wants to come out but can't. They've limited themselves out of fear. Some also say our soul's choose the purpose we want before we are even born, so we have to honor that. Regardless of why it happens, it happens. So here's the question you have to ask: is my life purpose a 9-5? For some people, it actually might be. It's not our job to judge other people's purpose and say "it should look like mine or it's not valid". That's a limited perspective based on the idea that everyone should be the same and that there's a right way to experience life. But if your purpose isn't a 9-5, you'll know. Stop kidding yourself. You've always know that's not what you're meant to do. And if you're on this forum, it's highly likely you fit in that category.

@Spiral Foreplay is AMAZING when you do it right. The best analogy I ever heard about foreplay is that it's like the build up to a movie premier. They tease you with trailers, have interviews with the stars, make you wait in line and all this other shit. Just to build the tension and get you excited. Sex is the same way. Average guy: I want to have sex. Logic therefore dictates that I should quickly and efficiently as possible put my dick inside her. Boringggggg. The right way is to use foreplay to build the tension. Your dick is Star Wars and she should be salivating by the time you put it in. How do you do that? Use takeaways. Bite her on the neck and then tell her you're not going to have sex. Rub your dick on the outside of her pussy and then pull away. Make her beg for it. When you do, not only are you going to have a better time, she'll love you for it. What's crazy though is that nothing I'm describing is that hard to do. It's just that most guys would never want to admit that they could be better at sex, so they don't invest the small amount of time to learn this.

Damn, you put her in her place . For real though, you gotta lighten up a bit. You're still locked into the rational, logical mind. Prescription: go watch some standup comedy, have fun with some friends, have some crazy sex and keeping meditating.

@AleksM Agreed. The deeper I go in this work, the more I see things on an energetic level. It's a complete paradigm shift. For anyone who isn't looking at ideas like the Law of Attraction or energy work, you are potentially doing yourself a massive disservice.

But you can't grab their pinky over the internet! Your plan has been foiled.

When done in the proper way, I really like this. Eckhart Tolle talks all the time about the power of being able to truly laugh at the absurdity of our condition. It detaches you from seeing those thoughts as true and instead allows you to see them for noise that they are. Laughter = acceptance. Ego = resistance. The key would be making sure you don't make this into a form of self-attack.

@stevegan928 Here's a better question. How would you ever know if a forum member was enlightened?

Love it. Just don't go stealing all the girls from us

I'll put it to you this way. I love sex. I'd like to pretend I'm above it, but the truth is when see a hot girl, I go into like this mild trance where the only thing that matters is us having sex. Kidding, but also not kidding. It was beyond frustrating growing up and not being able to fulfill that desire. It's like you're starving and people are constantly waving a nice steak dinner in front of you. So I never questioned if it was worth it. It was obvious at 21 that I had to fix this. And I spent a couple years doing exactly that. But what's funny about actually taking action and committing to the journey of improving yourself is that it teaches you all these lessons you would have never dreamed you'd get. When it comes to girls, the lessons I got showed me that getting girls (the right way) means learning to love your life. It means getting on your purpose. It means becoming someone who can find solutions. It means pushing through your fears. It means leaving boyhood and becoming a man. I didn't get into meditation because I wanted to wear a robe and live in a cave. I did it because I saw that the more meditation I did, the less anxiety I felt approaching girls. I ate healthy and learned about happiness because I saw that when I was in a better mood, girls just always wanted to fuck me more. Eventually you hit a point where you really do just find yourself loving life a lot more. And you realize that even though you had to take the journey, girls weren't really what you were truly seeking. They're fun but being on the journey itself is where my happiness lies. Here's an example. Last night I went out and should be waking up next to this 19 year old Spanish girl right now. But I misread the logistics and now I'm by myself. Should I be mad and hate life? Yes and no. It matters, but it doesn't matter either. I can have gratitude either way because I see that experience for what it is. But you only get that wisdom by actually WALKING the journey. Not theorizing about what it would be like Here's the coolest part: you get it all. You don't have to sacrifice personal happiness to get girls, and you don't have to sacrifice girls in order to be happy. So is it worth it? For me it was because it was a major pain point. Maybe for someone else, they couldn't give a shit and think I'm being way overdramatic. They'll have their own path and that's fine. No one can tell you what is meaningful for you. Only you can do that.

@kieranperez Biographies or autobiographies of people you admire can really help with inspiration. You get to see the challenges they faced, how they overcame them and what drove them. A really good biography can make you feel like you're channeling that person's energy for awhile.

@MM1988 You need pussy. Nothing is working for you because you haven't solved the problem. You can meditate until you're the god damn Buddha, but your biology still wants sex. You have to accept that, not repress your desires and avoid your problem with some self-help tricks. So how do you do it? Pickup is one way I highly recommend. Another could be getting really good at Tinder and Bumble. Another could be building a great social circle so girls actually come to you. But I think you know that. So what really needs to shift here is your belief that you don't think it's possible. You might want to check out this video:

@eskwire thanks!

Good answers. So if you're going to be doing cold approach and talking to all these women, what's the next logical thing you should be doing to support that?

True or not, it doesn't matter. If you need to pass this class then you need to pass this class. So your only choice is to keep trying.

I'd study like a maniac and get tutoring until I understood it. There really is no other answer than that. Now I'll ask you: why do you have a story that says you can't pass math?

@kieranperez I definitely resonated with this a lot when I was younger. I can remember feeling like I had all the potential I needed, but for some reason just lacked execution and belief in myself. The bad news is this is probably not going to solve itself overnight. The good news is that it's very solvable. My advice is to take it slow. If self-actualization and living your highest dreams seems too daunting, build your confidence by accomplishing smaller goals that seem more realistic. Once you accomplish that goal, aim a bit higher. Once you achieve that goal, aim higher again. Etc etc. Picture yourself like a basketball player. You don't just slam dunk the first time you touch a basketball. You gotta learn how to dribble, pass, shoot and everything else. THEN you'll get to slam dunking. So just have patience. You'll be learning invaluable skills at this point in your journey so that when you do go to take on the world, you'll be ready.

Good. A couple of questions to ask yourself: 1) You don't have to do cold approach and you don't have to do online dating. But at some point, you DO have to do something. So I'd ask you, what is your plan to make this a reality? How are you going to meet the necessary number of women to find the one you want? 2) You say you want "forever love", but you lack experience with women. From what I've seen, guys who come from that position don't know what they want in a woman. They only have ideas about what sounds good in their mind because they have no actual experience. How are you going to solve that? 3) How are you planning on improving your comfort levels with women? Cashiers at your local supermarket is not going to be enough.

Own being a minimalist fully. By that I mean that you're so in love with minimalism and your life in general, that other people should sometimes feel dumb around you for choosing a different path. You could start a simple blog just detailing your life, why you decided to live like this and why you think it's cool. Or you hang out with other minimalists and doing minimalist things. That's called flipping the script. Some girls are going to think minimalism is lame, but if you're so in love with it and don't give a fuck what they think, many of them will just fall into that reality. From there I would say just make sure you're meeting a lot of women and boost your odds by doing social events where girls who like minimalism are more likely to be present.

You could grow and learn it all yourself, just like you could do a lot of things. Doesn't make it a good idea. Unless you honestly think you have more wisdom than the millions of human beings who have lived before you and have faced the challenges you are going to have to face (you don't), then you need to study the theory. Think about the fact that you could read a book from someone who spent 30 years developing a single topic. You get to leverage all that time, blood sweat and tears they put in so you don't have to. Then they hand you that wisdom on a silver platter. You don't even have to pay for it these days, you can just torrent it. If there's a bigger "hack" in life, I don't know what it is. It only seems like "common sense" when you don't have the proper experiences to appreciate it. Then you realize that 99% of people aren't acting on this "common sense". The majority of people aren't happy. But the problem is you can't even see that until you get to a certain consciousness level. Going with the flow is actually a valid phenomena when you get to a certain point in your journey and you appreciate what that actually means. For you, "going with the flow" means not taking proactive control of your life, going back into the herd and falling asleep.

Dude, wake up. Whether you get into legal trouble will depend on YOU. Not what I say. It sounds like you haven't been able to even socialize normally without pretty bad repercussions. So get that down before you start doing more crazy shit.

But pride for what? Saying the socially approved thing? Conforming? Staying congruent to your ego? Fuck that. I have pride for the times I did the right thing, even though it was hard. Or when I pushed through those obstacles. Or when I spoke my truth. Not my ability to play some character. You may not need to come up with a line like that because you're already comfortable going direct. That's fine. But for a guy who isn't comfortable, it could possibly help. And if it helps, he should do it.

I know it does but it's not. You're actually deciding to take some proactive control over your life. That's called stepping up and being a man. "Nuts" are people who spend their lives in self-soothing rationalizations about why they don't challenge themselves. I don't condone harassing strangers or making people uncomfortable. But what sickens me even more is living in this socially conditioned haze where the second you do something slightly out of the ordinary, waves of social pressure come crashing on you to put you back in the box. That shit destroys lives. So if this is something you feel called to do, go for it. Look, I've done some obnoxious things while gaming. The worse that has ever happened were guys getting in my face cause I hit on their girlfriends. You're gonna be fine.

@Hardkill That extreme direct style of game was useful for me for a short period. But it's definitely not the best way to approach or something I'd recommend long term. Here's why extreme direct game is useful. Many guys studying the PUA stuff are terrified to put their sexual intentions out there. That was me, and even now I still occasionally fall into it. So you take this terrified guy and you get him to say this really sexual, polarizing line. He will feel like he is committing suicide, but if he pushes through that, then what happens is his comfort zone is massively expanded. Once you CAN do that if necessary, you don't have to keep doing it. The point is you never want to be in a position where you're rationalizing not taking right action out of fear. Fear and getting laid are basically inverses of each other.