aurum

It would also be unfair to place that responsibility solely on her shoulders. She is going to feed off of you. You need to do your part.

I’ve been reflecting on why some guys get stuck in blackpill thinking and why it feels so alien to me. In doing so, I’ve realized I had a lot more advantages in dating than I ever thought. For most of my life, dating just felt normal. It was assumed. I was plugged into an invisible social pipeline that gave me chances to learn, fail, and keep going, even when I didn’t recognize it at the time. As early as sixth grade, my friends and I were daring each other to talk to girls at middle school dances. I still remember the look on her face when I took my first real "rejection". It hurt like hell. But the social pipeline helped keep things moving. It normalized the experience. Over time, things turned from... middle school dances and hiding first kisses... to high school sweethearts and proms... to college parties and fraternity formals... to nightclubs and summer flings in Miami. That was reality for me. I didn’t even hear about the "pills" until I was near the end of college. By then, I’d already lived through a dozen emotional arcs. Some good, some bad, some confusing, some transformative. But for many blackpill guys, those chapters never started. You had little or none of the experiences I just described. You feel left out, like no woman wants you, and life just isn’t fair. And truthfully, you’re not wrong. Is it fair that I had these experiences and you didn’t? That others seem to get what you want while you watch from the sidelines? Not particularly. But that’s how it played out. My goal now is to be more empathetic and to notice how my own upbringing shapes the way I see all of this. I don’t think the blackpill is crazy. It’s built on a set of experiences I didn’t live. But if I could offer you one thing, it wouldn’t be advice. It’d be a night out. A chance to see what’s possible. No guarantees. Just something to test the story you’ve been told.

It's very context dependent. Someone like Jocko is a bad example because he is a serious person who thrives in serious environments. That's his niche. Expecting Jocko to thrive in a nightclub, where it's about cutting loose and having fun, is not that realistic. He might be able to do it but it's not going to be his strength. A lot of "game" is about understanding what environment you thrive in and setting things up in your favor. The only reason nightclubs are recommended is because of volume. If you're going out to deliberately approach women, you just need a lot of them in one area to make it worth the time investment. Also, there's more of a chance for casual encounters because people are feeling loose and partying. It's not because nightclubs will automatically play into the strengths of your personality.

Don't chase happiness. Chase your development, potential and truth-seeking.

Adding to what others have said, a lot of people turn meditation into survival. Owen Cook convinced a bunch of pickup artists to start meditating on the premise that it would improve their pickup. Silicon CEO-types can get into it, looking at it as a way to regulate themselves to be more effective at business. And some might do it just to fit in with a culture or feel like they're on their grind-set. There's also people doing trauma healing who are into meditation, which is mainly about creating a stable sense of self. Almost no one does meditation for the primary purpose of truth-seeking.

@BlessedLion good stuff. I like the meaning-making exercises.

The Vince McMahon takeover of wrestling is a good example of how unity can be achieved through brutality.

Trump reporting huge earnings: https://www.axios.com/2025/06/16/trump-mobile-crypto-merch-earnings-disclosure

Your own experience and contemplation, primarily.

Of course it's inaccurate. He's just redpill /manosphere in the form of a psychologist. All these redpill guys have emotional wounding around women. Or they are making money off of guys who do. Or both. They have low ego development and do not understand how badly biased their perspective is. They refuse to integrate feminism at all, like it's battery acid. Which allows them to ignore all the problems of their own ideology. All you have to do to see through their bullshit is ask them two questions: 1) What is your solution to the real problems that lead to feminism? 2) What were the benefits of feminism? You will see they have no real answer. All they have is reactionary nonsense.

This fool again? We just slammed him in another thread.

Yes, he is. My dude, many of us have already been through this. We know what is right about redpill and where it goes wrong. We've figured it out. You are not going to get a more integrated perspective by listening to redpillers. They will just encourage you to double down on self-deception. Listen to redpillers if you want, but you need to be checking all their biases.

Orion is redpill self-deception.

Yup that's a good point. Sometimes it's more her hang up than anything in particular about the guy.

I agree he was being too needy. But still, your reponse is not a solution.

You're definitely being defensive. That's the whole problem. Stop defending yourself so much.

Your entire attitude is still combative.

You guys immediately assume the most nefarious motives about women. Yeah, she's doing survival. But you're still overreacting. Some of you seem to imagine that sleeping with women involves winning some kind of war against them. That's not what it's like at all. You want to fight with women, but fighting is not how the dance is done. It's way too combative. People sleep with together when they like each other and when they're having fun. Try assuming women actually want to sleep with you, even if she's giving you some tests.

This is unnecessary.

@Nito you’re learning a good lesson about the importance of giving her space. Do a little follow up and then see if she’ll agree to a meet up. Use a phone call if needed. Don’t be text buddies.

Another general tip for guys in similar scenarios: CALL HER, don't just text You can flip many seemingly dead interactions simply by calling her and instead of just texting. It's shocking how well this can work in the right situation. Texting is just too impersonal and too easy for her to forget about you. But if you call her and she answers, now you're a lot more "real". She can hear your voice and more easily feel your personality. So yeah, don't sleep on the phone call. It might seem old-fashioned but it works. Especially in scenarios where you've already hinted at plans. You could also try FaceTime, but I find a phone call is easier and less pressure than a video-chat.

Give her some space. But no, not indefinite radio silence. These games don't always play out as well as you think. Often times it just leads to no one making any moves at all. Don't let her Hot & Cold throw you off. You know what you want, so stay persistent and lead.

Now you're just being too sweet I enjoy your writing as well. It's poetic and thoughtful.

Beautiful, thank you for sharing.