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Everything posted by aurum
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Forget about all that and stick with Instagram for now. Why do you feel like it's whoring yourself out? I don't see it that way at all. To me, it makes no sense for me to be friends with someone if they aren't adding value to my life. And I also don't think they should want to be friends with me if I can't add value to their life. If your only goal of a friendship is to connect with someone, I can do that with just about anyone. I'll find commonalities and build a genuine bond. So that alone isn't a good enough reason why we should be friends. If you keep juding it like you're whoring yourself out, you're going to resist the process. I like it. Yeah subtlety is huge when you get to this point. You'll get this through osmosis the more time you spend in high status areas. You'll pick up on the vibe of the room and what the high status guys are doing / not doing. Just keep paying attention. This is a really nuanced question. No, you technically don't need money. I'm friends with a promoter here in Miami that absolutely crushes it. He has all sorts of social proof in the nightclub, high status access and a pimped out Instagram. Yet he is literally broke and living out of his car. It's almost comical. You also see this with photographers. They usually don't make much money, but they do well with girls simply because they're around them all the time in a position of status. So money isn't the answer. Access, social proof, game and logistics are what really matter. But money can help you with those things. For instance, if you've got cash then you can afford an apartment next to the best nightclub, which is usually expensive real estate. So it really depends on your situation and what your goals are. Personally, I want money. Lots of money.
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And how has that belief system been working out for you?
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Still some time from now, if you follow me on Instagram (@akourakin) you'll be able to see when it comes out. What do you mean exactly?
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aurum replied to Ampresus's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@Ampresus Yup all thoughts are conditioning. So start consciously choosing the thoughts you want. -
I actually have a book coming out soon that will answer all those questions. The general gist is that you don't need a certificate. There are no legal requirements to becoming a coach right, you just have to crown yourself worthy. That being said, certification programs can be useful if you're looking for training. I'm taking one right now and will continue to take more in the future. A good coach knows how to turn off their "self" and focus completely on the client. For instance, if your client brings up a story about how they were eating ice cream, you wouldn't start sharing your opinions on ice cream. That's about "you". Instead, you'd ask questions and make it about them. What kind of ice cream? What did you like about it? Why are you sharing with me this story? What did you learn? So the more you get out of your own agenda, the better of a coach you'll be.
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You're just misinformed on how the dating world actually works. In the list of things that are important for being attractive as a man, looks would be close to dead last.
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You're welcome. Yup it's a completely different skill. The DJs who actually are successful are the ones who are good at it. I mostly get them through social media (IG, Linkedin, YT, etc) and through people I know.
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Probably none considering I'm not a fan of marriage or monogamy in general. The more attractive she is, often the less she has probably ever had to work on developing herself. There's just no incentive to do so. All of us here on this forum could talk about how we're just so driven to become higher consciousness and develop ourselves. But let's be honest about where that motivation initially came from. I know that for me, it came initially from a lot of pain. A lot of realizing that my life was going to be fucked up if I didn't do something. For many of these girls, they don't hit a point like that.
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Thanks brotha There are other factors that will make this more or less true. But looks are obviously a major piece of it. Yes, but trust me when I say there are guys who are wayyyyy more successful in this area than I am. I only talk with authority about it on this forum because I know most of you don't even have the basics down.
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I asked my friend Cameron Gallagher (successful coach) what his one regret was. He said “listening to my mom when I was 21 and she told me I couldn’t start as a life coach”. I’m not saying some people won’t hire you because you’re young. That will happen. But if you’re good you can still make it work. By the time you are only 30 you’ll have 10 years of coaching experience under your belt. That’s crazy valuable. Also, realize that even though a lot of people want to be coaches, the majority of them suck hard at marketing. My not so humble prediction is that I’m going to be way more successful than 99% of coaches simply for that reason. I won’t nessesarily be better than them, but my marketing will be. You can do the same.
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Pros: very fulfilling and social job that really allows you to connect with people and help them. Also a well paying career if you get high end clients. Cons: everybody wants to be a life coach, so you better have your marketing and business skills down.
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You know that’s not what I’m suggesting. I’m all about purpose and breaking out of the rat race. I’m saying that if your goal is to start some sort of small business to fund what you really want to do, it’s probably not going to happen. I tried the same thing myself and nothing ever came of it.
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No it’s not. If it was I definitely wouldn’t be a life coach or spend time on this forum. I would have become a club promoter or started a modeling agency. I’m simply giving you an honest assessment of what it takes if those are the girls you want. If your goal is just to be a happy, spiritually evolved person, you don’t have to do any of what I just said. But I’m also not going to give you some fluff answer like “be authentic”.
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@Pristinemn Keep in mind everything I'm about to say is literally only for the top women society has deemed attractive. These are women you see on Instagram with 100k to 10M followers and have posed in Maxim or Playboy. This is not for Jenny, the cute cashier at Whole Foods. I would agree with @Emerald about complimenting her. And @Spiral makes a good point about treating her the same because game is game. But here's what no one is going to tell you because they don't really understand it themselves. No one on this forum is on a track to hook up with those girls because her life is completely different than yours. No one. While you're going grocery shopping, her's get delivered. While you're at the local happy hour, she's at Alec Monopoly's mansion party during Art Basel. While you're going to events on Meetup.com, she's a member of SoHo House. While you're standing in the crowd at EDC, she's partying on the Sky Deck and in the DJ booth. While you're day gaming at the mall, she's on a photoshoot in Ibiza. Are you seeing the problem? I'm name-dropping all these things you've probably never heard of because I'm trying to get you to realize how outside the loop you are. The same reason you'll never hook up with these girls is the same reason you'll never be friends with Brad Pitt or some other celebrity. You're just never going to meet them. Even if Brad Pitt did something normal like go to the airport, he's going to have bodyguards and other gatekeepers to stop people from talking to him. And these girls are minor celebrities. If you want truly meet these girls and this isn't just some fantasy, forget about "game" for now. Instead, focus completely on "how do I put myself in a situation to consistently meet these girls? How do I start to overlap my life with their life?" It means you're going to have to be more strategic about where you spend your time. It means you're going to have to start developing a social circle of "high status" people. It means you're not going to be able to just do what everybody else is doing. Look, I know no body on this forum wants to hear this. It's completely different than what you're already doing. And you probably think it sounds stage orange or superficial. But I wouldn't be saying this if I didn't spend years banging my head against the wall until I accepted this is the current reality. So maybe it will take you a couple years as well. But at some point if you keep pushing for more stereotypical attractive girls, you won't be able to avoid it. The good news is that once you start doing this, it's actually way easier than normal cold approach. I was at a Model Citizen's Christmas party the other day. My friend who was working as the photographer introduced me to a couple girls all with like 200k IG followers. Do you know how easy it is to "game" when a girl gets introduced to you by someone she trusts at an event like that? The same girl who never would have cared about you if you cold approached her, now likes you before you even open your mouth. So start implementing this now. Follow my IG stories (@akourakin) if you want to see some of the stuff I'm doing.
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Already did. It's an older one but it's still good:
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@SageModeAustin It’s a nuanced topic, don’t look for easy answers when it comes to this stuff. It’s all messy. You make a good point about detaching from money. I would agree. You can read about that in Rich Dad, Poor Dad. But at the same time, don’t be naive. If you don’t think money is important, you’re 100% guaranteed to be poor. People who are rich do care about money. They think about it. They track it. They like it. They’re trying to get more of it. So the answer depends on the person and what their particular belief system is. Some people have been chasing a dollar their whole life and are unfulfilled. They hate their work. For these people, I would talk to them about passion and detaching from money. But if you’re broke and caught up in these fantasies that money doesn’t matter, I’m going to tell them they better start looking at their bank statement every month. You’ve got to have the self-awareness to know what your particular limiting beliefs are.
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@kieranperez I’ll be honest dude, I think the idea of you creating a part time business so you can work on your purpose is unrealistic. I think you’re underestimating how much work it’s going to take to create a business that consistently handles your basic needs. If you try and do it part time very little is going to happen. You might want to look into Jason Capital’s youtube channel.
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@Harikrishnan It depends at what stage you’re at. But just the fact you asked this question tells me you’re new. So go look up their foundational material. Once you’ve got that, I recommend you start implementing the social media stuff they’re talking about recently.
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Authenticity occurs when you integrate the shadow aspects of yourself. Those parts of you that you’ve been denying, repressing and were conditioned to believe were unacceptable. Essentially it’s coming to embody God. It’s a real concept, but unfortunately the ego twists it as a means to simply stay the same and not evolve.
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@ivory If I had to choose, I would take social skills over any other skill that I have. I can’t understate how important it is. Your entire life is going to revolve around people. Dating, friendship, family, business. Even in the social media age, there’s no way to get around it.
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Rationalizations. Of course you should meet your needs, but not by imposing how you think she should behave for your benefit.
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@Eric Tarpall Everything you just wrote is not only delusional, but it's filled with a false sense of self-importance. It's not going to happen. Unless your plan is to go to the Middle East and find some virgin girl who has had her sexuality repressed for the sake of your insecurities, no girl is not going to have been with a guy in the past. Look at how much you're making this all about you. You don't want her to have a boyfriend. You don't want her to have a sexual past. You want to be the only man in her life. What about her? Do you even give a shit about what maybe she wants? Waiting around for you to come and bless her with your magic dick isn't exactly in her best interests. She probably wants sex. She probably wants the comfort and security of a boyfriend. Really step into her shoes and care about her needs.
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Do it if you want, it will probably be a good lesson either way. I'm all for fucking up if you learn from it. But notice from this comment that you're still identified with your old way of behavior. You think it's "who I actually am" and that doing something different feels fake. That's completely normal when you're making an identity level shift. But don't get it twisted, your current way of behavior is already inauthentic. It's simply conditioning that you've identified as "you". It's your ego structure. Why make it either or? The winning formula is to do both. Yeah you can do inner work like meditation and what not. And that's awesome. But real results also can create shifts. At first it will seem impossible, but then you'll do it and your mind will normalize the experience.
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Ideally the answer is neither. If you're invested, you're invested. Even if you try and hide it the reality is that girls aren't that dumb. You need to get to a place where you don't end up in this situation to begin with.
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@Shroomdoctor Love it man, keep pushing.