Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
Striving for more

My stage red shadow and corrupt desires

6 posts in this topic

I have a stage red shadow. I want competition, I want wild - west life. This world is too boring for me. I want to fight to the death.  I feel some envy, jealousy, not at anyone in particular, but other men that are winning. I want to fight off the alphas to be the alpha of alpha. 

I fortunately have a left brain that functions sufficiently to not act on these desires, but I genuinely want this. I want to be fighting other cowboys to the death, to win over the gold, the wife.

I need a virtual reality console so I can live out this fantasy in private. Lol.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, Striving for more said:

I have a stage red shadow. I want competition, I want wild - west life. This world is too boring for me. I want to fight to the death.  I feel some envy, jealousy, not at anyone in particular, but other men that are winning. I want to fight off the alphas to be the alpha of alpha. 

Me too in some ways. What do you want the most? In what ways do you wanna fight? Do you have narcissistic/ manipulation tendencies aswell?

2 minutes ago, Striving for more said:

I fortunately have a left brain that functions sufficiently to not act on these desires, but I genuinely want this. I want to be fighting other cowboys to the death, to win over the gold, the wife.

I need a virtual reality console so I can live out this fantasy in private. Lol.

Lol


"Sometimes when it's dark - we have to be the light in our own tunnel"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Striving for more If you have a fantasy about wanting to engaging in stage red behavior maybe you should look at the characters who you want to fight with. I would assume that these imaginary characters serve a few possible different functions.

they are simply target practice so that your ego can practice surviving.  This is not good or bad. It is just a survival instinct that your mind create in your head with your voice to make you practice for battle which in the past was a useful for evolution.  Your lower mind "jedi mind tricks" you into thinking that "you" created this though but in realty it is just buttons in your mind 

imagine that your survival insights are Jedi mind tricking you into thinking that you want to fight and be strong and when then when someone asks you about it you said "that's nonsense I chose to do that thought"  

another thing it could be would be is that these mental enemies show a piecee of you that your have suppressed.  if you want to kill a bully figure then you hate your own part of yourself that is helpless.

just some thing to think about.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Learn some extreme sports or learn to fight, boxing, MMA, karate, kick-boxing etc.


Dont look at me! Look inside!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Striving for more

You actually don't want those things at all, that's your programming speaking.

Keep up your spiritual practice. Maybe consider a sport or something that lets you express that aggression. The warrior doesn't need to die, but it does need to be reoriented towards service of the Whole.


 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Further to Jay Ray’s point, you could also look to what may be triggering this survival practice. The desire may be normal ego development, or something in your life may be triggering your need for respect.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0