aurum

Yes I have. No I'm not.

Yes I have had many experiences like this where I'm just blown away by the Love. It is beautiful beyond description. Never once has it made me not want to still have sex. Sex is a beautiful thing as well. It doesn't just have to be this needy, ego rampage like what you're describing. You can bring Love into it. If you're checking out girls from afar and masturbating, what you really want is real sex. The only reason you wouldn't be doing that is if you felt like you couldn't. Did you call an Uber today instead of a taxi cab? Some taxi cab driver really needed that money and you didn't select his services. Did you go to a grocery store? Some family that runs a roadside stand in South America probably needed that money a lot more. Are you friends with 7 billion people on the planet simultaneously and spend equal amounts of time with all of them? And I hope you didn't start a business, because your business cannot equally serve all 7 billion people either. You have to understand that part of life IS about being selective. The fact that ultimately we are all One is just a side of the equation. The other side is celebrating and loving our differences. Our individual dharma or unique roles that we have to play. You're allowed to have standards and boundaries. Yes, that means some people are compatible with others and some people aren't. Some people will like you, and some people will not. Some people will want to fuck a fat girl, some people will not. None of that is "bad". In fact I'd argue it's just an egoic desire for approval that we want everyone to like us. Again, these things are not mutually exclusive.

@egoless Read Unscripted by MJ DeMarco.

It's a great question. Rant incoming. To put what I'm going to say in context, I've done meditation retreats, breathwork ceremonies, psychedelics, reiki, yoga and spend around 3 hours everyday doing a formal spiritual practice. I also could have probably built a successful business or written a book in the amount of time I've put into pickup. So why am I doing it? First off, my motivations have changed over the years. When I first started at 21, it was pure sex drive and ego-validation. I've also taken long periods of time off for spiritual work and to focus on myself, just like you suggested. But things are different now. The easiest answer is that no matter how much I meditate, I've noticed that I still have a dick. And that dick wants to have sex. If I don't have a girlfriend (which you get through pickup) or if I aren't at least making an effort to get laid, I basically turn into the creepy guy trolling through Craigslist for sex. Sometimes I read messages from guys that say they don't care about getting laid, they just want to get enlightened because sex won't fulfill them. I think that's insane. By that same logic, you should also never eat, sleep, drink, clean your apartment, pay your bills, play music, read, have a life purpose or do anything because that won't fulfill you ether. Only Being can fulfill you. So let's just sit in our rooms with our eyes closed until we die. And of course, the same guys who usually say this are the guys who wouldn't be successful at pickup even if they tried. Another reason is that pickup is just so much god damn fun. Even when you have a terrible night and your ego is crying because it's not getting the validation it wants, it's still fun. Joking with your friends, meeting new people, singing, dancing, feminine energy, new adventurous situations, letting go of all concerns, blasting through challenges, drama when it doesn't go well and of course, sex. It's an awesome ride. But at the end of the day, even a fun experience is just temporary. So the next question we have to ask is can pickup help with spiritual work and life purpose? What I've found is that when done with the RIGHT INTENTION, it absolutely can. Pickup will fuck with all of your ego's desires. The need for approval, the need for certainty, the need to think, the need to be right, the need to be logical, the need to conserve energy, the need to only see things from your perspective, etc. You basically need to be the exact opposite of all that. So it trains my mind to think that way and it also helps motivates me to do my spiritual practice. If I go out and notice that I'm over thinking everything and looking for an outcome, that gives me leverage to meditate harder. If go out and I'm silky smooth, that's positive reinforcement that meditation is helping. It also helps me with my life purpose. It makes me a better public speaker, a better communicator, better at networking, a better coach and just about everything else. The ancillary benefits are huge. And here's maybe the coolest part. I think a lot of us on this forum have had a lot of pain from negative social experiences growing up. Pickup is a way you can truly heal that. It will teach you to love people again. Will everyone get these benefits? Of course not. But I have seen it happen for many people. So if someone reading this resonates with pickup, go for it.

@Akim You know this answer, it's everything Leo talks about.

This isn't what you want to hear, but you'll figure it out when you're ready. Keep meditating, breathwork, yoga, psychedelics, etc. I can't remember if you've ever done pickup, but if you haven't you might want to consider it.

@WildeChilde I know people who do. Most of them have spent a lot of time developing those powers but they do seem to be real.

@PlasmicProjection The LOA is extremely nuanced. Most people aren't going to get it just because they read The Secret or whatever. At the end of the day, it's just a model though. So if that way of thinking works and helps you, go for it.

@ROOBIO What's the value in going back to school? Do you think it will help you get a job?

@Chaosofthemuse Awesome! Always great to see more conscious creators.

@QandC Yes unfortunately many people aren't ready for the pressure of fame. That's partially why star childs go crazy when they grow up. This is a good time to show some appreciation for your fears and limiting beliefs. They're keeping you from pressure that you aren't yet prepared to handle.

It's not that simple, overthinking is not something you can just solve with a 1-2-3 step formula. You've got to put in the work meditating, doing yoga, healing old traumas etc. That's a long term commitment. But if you really want something you can do in the moment, make an idiot of yourself. Do something that feels so embarrassing that there's no more point monitoring your impression anymore. The key is that it actually has to feel uncomfortable, not theoretically uncomfortable. You really have to stretch it. But once you do, you are going to feel like a completely different person. For instance, something I'll do if I'm out at a bar or nightclub is just start shaking my entire body. It looks absolutely ridiculous and I don't want to do it. But almost inevitably nobody actually gives a shit. And you realize that you cared so much about protecting nothing at all.

@Callum Milner There's a whole thread on this in the Meditation / Spirituality section of the forum. I'd suggest checking that out.

The reason you socialize more when you're in a good mood is that you are at higher vibrational frequency. When you're tired, you're at a lower vibrational frequency and so you want to conserve energy. This is why I don't like the whole "introvert / extrovert" debate. It largely ignores energetic realities and the power of the mind over our personalities. The reason people who call themselves introverts get tired after socializing is that they're expending massive amounts of energy overthinking and analyzing everything. It's exhausting. Just look back at what you wrote in this post. Look at all the questions you're asking. Look how your mind is trying to understand and analyzing every possible little detail. All that mental chatter cost energy and is draining you. When I go out socializing, I know I'm doing well if I'm gaining energy and I know I'm doing poorly if I'm losing energy. Gaining energy = present to the moment, free flowing, authentic. Losing energy = stuck in my head, putting on a social mask, overthinking. This has nothing to do with being an introvert or extrovert. It has to do with whether you're TAPPED IN to the infinite source of energy all around us, or if you've cut yourself off by thinking too much and not allowing the energy the move through you.

This is definitely accurate and something a lot of people neglect. They want to give before they have anything to give or understand what true giving is. This is where I see things differently. Yes, technically you only need Being if you want to be fulfilled. But what I've found is that as you become more conscious, your life purpose and desire to serve others increases. You can't ignore it. As far as the wealth thing goes, I'd challenge you on your beliefs about money. I don't see wealth as a hindrance to raising consciousness at all, in fact I see it as a great tool as long as the person has the right intention. For example, let's say I wanted to open up a yoga studio that teaches people to become more conscious. Or maybe you wanted to attend some workshop to see a spiritual teacher. All of that tends to cost money. I want everyone to have more money than they could possibly every spend. The behavior that people engage in when they are in financial scarcity is the complete opposite to what it means to be conscious. It's selfish and downright sickening to be honest. You could argue that everyone should be so enlightened that it doesn't make a difference, but that's not living in current reality. We live in the 21st century where money is still a valuable tool and people very much care about having enough.

@ExodiaGearCEO I've definitely had breakups where I just was not ready to get back out there right away and took time for myself to recharge. And I know that feeling a starting a business and just wanting to focus on that and nothing else. My only concern is that it's been almost a year since you've guys broken up. That's a pretty long time. Meeting new girls can be emotionally challenging, and you don't want to use your breakup as an excuse not to do that. It's an important area of your life. Girls are not going to flock to you just because your business is successful and you've developed yourself. That's like creating an amazing product and then never promoting it. You do have to put yourself out there to at least some degree.

Of course, everything is neutral at the absolute level. When I said "fucked", that's not a judgemental at all. It's just an observation that if you want to be at peace and not in fear that your relationship is going to crumble any moment, you don't want to tie your self-worth to someone else's validation.

No, RSD is legit. There's valid criticisms you can make about the company if you really wanted to, but there's no doubt they know pickup inside and out.

I think we think the same thing but with different words.

@The White Belt You're in classic codependency. Her validation = your self-worth, so if she leaves you your self-worth will be crushed. That's why you're afraid. The ironic part is that the fear you're experiencing is going to drive you to do things that actually will want to make her leave. You think you're hiding it, but trust me you're not. One solution is continuing to do self-actualization and working on your insecurities. Another solution is her leaving you, breaking your heart, and then you realizing that attaching your self-worth to a person's validation is totally fucked. Your choice.

@Freakrik I'm actually friends with Jmulv. We used to go out together when he was living here in Miami, haven't seen him since he moved away though. He game is undoubtedly legit. I wouldn't hesitate to go to him for advice on pickup. But he would also admit that he definitely has some unresolved inner game issues. So if you're going to learn from him, that's fine. But I would also balance his advice with self-actualization work. It's not worth banging 500 girls if you're just going to be miserable all the time.

@Staples I'd try thinking about the problem differently. Instead of just saying "how can I willpower my way into not being addicted", take a more holistic approach. Do you have an idea of your life purpose? What does your diet look like? Do you have productive habits like meditation or going to the gym? Part of the reason people can't beat their addictions is because they're trying to resist the urge when it comes up via willpower. They treat it like an isolated incident. But that's a bit like trying to win a game you've never trained for. You beat your addictions through everything you do outside your addictions. Spend more time looking at what your whole life looks like.

And don't let people make you feel bad about that, especially in the spiritual community. Everyone evolves in stages in accordance to their own journey. It's actually better for your growth if you just own where you're at than do spiritual bypassing and pretend like you're too evolved to get involved with something like pickup. Pickup can be amazing self-actualization tool. And it's tons of fun because you get to socialize and have sex. Personally, unless I transform into some angelic lightbeing in meditation one day, I'm pretty sure I'm going to have a dick for the rest of my life. And when I'm not getting laid I basically can't think about anything else. So might as well get that area handled properly.

@F A B Don't be nervous

@Scarecrow You have trauma energy that hasn't been released yet. All the techniques Leo talks about will help you here, especially Shamanic Breathing.