aurum

Thanks man.

Yes you don't want to suppress or resist negativity. That has the opposite effect as you've noticed. Just do the work we talk about on this forum (meditiation, yoga, shadow work, etc) and you'll find yourself being naturally more positive. Also, make sure you are generally surrounding yourself with positive influences.

@Gerhard Bioenergetics helped me a lot. Often times joy or laughter can be physically repressed in our system. Bioenergetics is one way of breaking that up. Also, just start doing the physical act of laughing even if you don’t feel like it. What you’ll find is that what felt “fake” at first quickly becomes real laughter.

@BjarkeT Yes it’s a choice. But that’s often not a useful way of looking at it, because most people have lots of resistance around happiness.

Go out, go out, go out. It never ceases to amaze me how much guys will avoid the obvious answer.

You don’t enjoy socializing, so you don’t go out and gain social skills. Because you don’t have social skills, you don’t enjoy socializing. It’s a loop, and you’re stuck in it. Also, here’s a lesson in social skills: care that your audience can understand you. I had to reread your paragraph several times because you didn’t put in basic punctutation.

Yup you got it, keep going out.

You’re welcome.

@Seed I did improv comedy for about a year as well as toastmasters. All my YouTube videos are improvised. So here’s my two cents. My best performances are always, always, always when I really let go. Especially in something like improv comedy. Toastmasters you can kind of get away with it because it’s okay to just be logical the whole time. In improv comedy, it has to be funny. If you just stay in your logic mode with some sort of ego agenda, you are fucked. Often with very embarressing results. Get into the enjoyment of it. Before an improv show, we didn’t sit there reviewing improv comedy theory. We did the opposite. We clowned. We danced. We sang. We basically just did everything possible to put ourselves in that positive state where we actually were doing it for the fun of doing it. Obviously you’re not putting on a comedy show so it’s a little different. But the principles are the same. Get out of your head, feel good, and let it flow.

@billiesimon Rule of thumb, if you go out and something triggers you bad enough that you start crying when you get home, that’s very much a good thing. This is why I keep saying going out to do game isn’t just game. It’s healing. So many things get triggered when you actually step into your fears and don’t just keep hiding in your bedroom. It’s also why almost no guy unconsciously wants to do it. I wouldn’t stress about it. You’ve got the awareness that women’s approval is probably more important to you subconsciously than you originally realized. Nothing really to do but keep doing the work.

@Nahm Thanks for the recommendation brotha, appreciate it. @Alex bAlex I feel ya man, we all need some sort of mentorship in lives. I currently have someone I see myself. You can obviously pay to get a mentor like Nahm said. That’s usually the most direct way. But you could also find someone you admire and offer to work for free. Tell them you have XYZ skill they might need and that you’ll do whatever they want. Don’t even mention mentoring. Books and courses can also be a more impersonal sort of mentorship. So yeah, mentorship comes in all forms. It doesn’t have to look a certain way. Hope that helped. By the way, if you decide to go with a coach and you pick @Emerald over me, we are going to have to have a very serious discussion via DMs

Guidance. For instance, yesterday I was working with a client who runs a startup. She was stuck between two decisions she was trying to make for her business and it was really bothering her. The reality is I didn't know what she should do either. I didn't have all the technical details and knowledge that would have been necessary to make that decision. But that was okay because I knew that wasn't my job. I knew that she was capable of figuring it out on her own, and my role was to help guide her in the process. So I just asked questions and helped her walk through the thinking process. And by the end, she knew exactly what she wanted to do and was happy she resolved the problem. That's the power of coaching. I don't have to be the smartest guy. In fact I don't need to know much at all. Rather, I put my faith in the idea that there's something more intelligent than both of us at work here, and my job is to help allow that to come through.

That's part of it, although I don't believe money is really a source of stability. Lots of people make tons of cash and blow it all. The source of stability is you. Money is just the tool. I want money to continue to fund my purpose and projects I feel I'm being called to do in the future. That shit doesn't pay for itself.

I might. But the difference with coaching is that I'm often not offering advice. It's kind of the opposite of what I do here, where I just share my beliefs on things.

Forget about all that and stick with Instagram for now. Why do you feel like it's whoring yourself out? I don't see it that way at all. To me, it makes no sense for me to be friends with someone if they aren't adding value to my life. And I also don't think they should want to be friends with me if I can't add value to their life. If your only goal of a friendship is to connect with someone, I can do that with just about anyone. I'll find commonalities and build a genuine bond. So that alone isn't a good enough reason why we should be friends. If you keep juding it like you're whoring yourself out, you're going to resist the process. I like it. Yeah subtlety is huge when you get to this point. You'll get this through osmosis the more time you spend in high status areas. You'll pick up on the vibe of the room and what the high status guys are doing / not doing. Just keep paying attention. This is a really nuanced question. No, you technically don't need money. I'm friends with a promoter here in Miami that absolutely crushes it. He has all sorts of social proof in the nightclub, high status access and a pimped out Instagram. Yet he is literally broke and living out of his car. It's almost comical. You also see this with photographers. They usually don't make much money, but they do well with girls simply because they're around them all the time in a position of status. So money isn't the answer. Access, social proof, game and logistics are what really matter. But money can help you with those things. For instance, if you've got cash then you can afford an apartment next to the best nightclub, which is usually expensive real estate. So it really depends on your situation and what your goals are. Personally, I want money. Lots of money.

And how has that belief system been working out for you?

Still some time from now, if you follow me on Instagram (@akourakin) you'll be able to see when it comes out. What do you mean exactly?

@Ampresus Yup all thoughts are conditioning. So start consciously choosing the thoughts you want.

I actually have a book coming out soon that will answer all those questions. The general gist is that you don't need a certificate. There are no legal requirements to becoming a coach right, you just have to crown yourself worthy. That being said, certification programs can be useful if you're looking for training. I'm taking one right now and will continue to take more in the future. A good coach knows how to turn off their "self" and focus completely on the client. For instance, if your client brings up a story about how they were eating ice cream, you wouldn't start sharing your opinions on ice cream. That's about "you". Instead, you'd ask questions and make it about them. What kind of ice cream? What did you like about it? Why are you sharing with me this story? What did you learn? So the more you get out of your own agenda, the better of a coach you'll be.

You're just misinformed on how the dating world actually works. In the list of things that are important for being attractive as a man, looks would be close to dead last.

You're welcome. Yup it's a completely different skill. The DJs who actually are successful are the ones who are good at it. I mostly get them through social media (IG, Linkedin, YT, etc) and through people I know.

Probably none considering I'm not a fan of marriage or monogamy in general. The more attractive she is, often the less she has probably ever had to work on developing herself. There's just no incentive to do so. All of us here on this forum could talk about how we're just so driven to become higher consciousness and develop ourselves. But let's be honest about where that motivation initially came from. I know that for me, it came initially from a lot of pain. A lot of realizing that my life was going to be fucked up if I didn't do something. For many of these girls, they don't hit a point like that.

Thanks brotha There are other factors that will make this more or less true. But looks are obviously a major piece of it. Yes, but trust me when I say there are guys who are wayyyyy more successful in this area than I am. I only talk with authority about it on this forum because I know most of you don't even have the basics down.

I asked my friend Cameron Gallagher (successful coach) what his one regret was. He said “listening to my mom when I was 21 and she told me I couldn’t start as a life coach”. I’m not saying some people won’t hire you because you’re young. That will happen. But if you’re good you can still make it work. By the time you are only 30 you’ll have 10 years of coaching experience under your belt. That’s crazy valuable. Also, realize that even though a lot of people want to be coaches, the majority of them suck hard at marketing. My not so humble prediction is that I’m going to be way more successful than 99% of coaches simply for that reason. I won’t nessesarily be better than them, but my marketing will be. You can do the same.

Pros: very fulfilling and social job that really allows you to connect with people and help them. Also a well paying career if you get high end clients. Cons: everybody wants to be a life coach, so you better have your marketing and business skills down.