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even blaming it all on porn isn't a good thing in all events, sometimes having the stress and fear of something from sex can ruin everything! like you just have a little petite fear towards making her pregnant! I wish you a good luck in that sex! because sex can magnify every feeling by 100% percent. your fear is also augmented and you can't focus on present moment and perform in a great way. but I don't say that porn is not a thing, because I can't stress it enough that it's the main problem of modern men who lives with high speed internet and have access to unlimited virtual women!

don't worry! that can happen to the best of us your explanation was so similar to my situation, haha. a few days before my GF and I met eachother and start to have intimacy, I watched porn a lot in order to decrease my sexual energy to last longer together (so wrong move from me!) but not only it caused me to not to be able to gain proper erections when needed but it also led me to faster ejaculation! and even I couldn't prove "US" that there's something external to my problem but gradually she lost hope on me and doubted on my abilities and we broke up, but after lots of analyzing and observing I realized something was causing that huge problem: PORN! that's the beauty of masturbating to porn! see? hahahaha porn makes your mind lazy in having sex and numb to the real women! kinda you want all the things happen spontaneously and automatically just when you were masturbating to porn, you only did watch and got the pleasure and orgasm! no extra movements, not burning energy, right?! that program/hardwire in your brain steps in the moment of your sexual intercourse and ruins everything mercilessly! LOL now at this time of writing, I'm in sexual reboot period, if you want to know about that, that's also whole new ball of game!!

the answer can be both positive and negative! it's related to the person, a person can overindulge in the spirituality that he'd forget other aspects in his/her life. but another person can harness the achieved from spirituality and gear it towards practicality and reap what he sowed! but if you want a definite answer, yes it can screw up your life if you don't have the power of meta-cognition and discernment!

embracing those two dualities together could be great. but you should swing the pendulum to the masculine part as man! when leo talks about it he means that with 70% of masculinity embrace 30% femininity!

well put! that's the signs of the nature of your conscious curiosity and questioning everything! and when I ponder about sex, I usually think about the kissing part and sticking tongue to eachother! even there has been a situation, when everyone was busy eating food and thinking about the stuff in their head, and I was deeply wondering why do we put things in a hole and we push it downwards? ( i mean eating with mouth and gulping down process! everything could turn to strangeness once we question! strange mixed with the mystified beauty!

don't label yourself as a "conscious person". when there is a label, you come back to unconsciousness imagining himself as a conscious illusory!

despite having a proper practices for making your ego melt away, have a rock-solid agenda for yourself! how'd you want your life to be like? being confused between ideas is the lack of confidence, once you had that, you could determine what is good and what is bad in the world of relativity. as a matter of fact, everyone of us have strengths and weaknesses. I have an agenda and sometimes even deny some aspects of leo gura or other spiritual teachers. that's the real confidence and having the ability to see things through!

don't try to categorize and label people as self-actualized and not self-actualized! think of it like in terms of vibration, does she give off the same vibe as you do? but as a matter of fact, If I'd talk about the difference of opinion, I should say that's a big deal! even a couple who are in the same wavelength could have potentially some problems in relationship, let alone persons who have a big belief gap between themselves! and remember there are some people out there who wanna convey the whole meaning of so-called new age spirituality to religious minded persons, but I always say, dude that won't work!! they as different as cheese and chalk and you won't be able to get along together!

do not concentrate too much on it so that you catch it! have proper precautions and increase your inner being and vibration. remember we always catch cold when we're in lower emotions.

of course, we are! and we are everything! you can train your brain to be like a gorilla, let alone feeling feminine or masculine. that's the capability of our consciousness and brain!

that's all about breakup, does she give off signals of getting back together? if yes, you could both start all over again. people have limiting beliefs around breakup, make a big deal out of breakup. they say something like: if you broke up, it doesn't worth trying all over again. that could even be better relationship after first breakup if both sides have strong will of not repeating the past mistakes again. otherwise, if she's getting resentful towards you everyday, it doesn't worth trying and don't insist and move on. don't worry, that can happen to the best of us!

@infinitelove the ending scene of mafia 1 game would explain everything for you:

although gratitude is a great thing, watch out you don't misuse it as a coping mechanism in your life.

negative motivation is not the right motivation at all. find your burning passions and work towards it, the side effect of it will be "money" have you found your life passion?

@WHO IS since the creation of humans, human beings had a strong sense of aversion towards death. seeing other species dying was torment and agony for human species. so they became spiritual and they wanted to convince themselves that they were something higher or spiritual creatures. not like a lower value animal who dies and its tiny self-awareness terminated forever, "they thought"! thus, for men, having sex and partaking in those kinds of activities reminded the animal side of themselves and they didn't like the fact of being animal, because being animal meant immorality and not being spiritual. that's why people unconsciously restricted sex and they built up related customs and norms for having sex (for example marriage appeared) because they didn't want to feel like an animal. since that time on, human beings are copycatting their miserable ancestors. that's why it's taboo.

sometimes when we want to remind ourselves of the things we want to get done, we use sticky notes on the wall or set up a timer to remind us of the things that could slip our mind throughout the day. however, some people who are trying to be present ask: could we set up an interval repetitive timer throughout the day that goes off, say, every 20 minutes in order to remind ourselves to descend down to the present moment? when you're doing that, you subtly send your subconscious a message that the present moment is always forgettable and should be reminded constantly and to be forced, thus when you set yourself an interval timer, you could be present in 3 or 4 of those, and for the rest of the day, even though it will go off for hundreds of times, you'll never be present again (even though you'll be thinking that you practice). people who are doing this is just seeking for an "external trigger" to trigger the presence "internally" but they don't know that everyone should develop an "internal trigger" and steer away from any external reminders because those always lead them to conceptualize about the present moment which in turn will make them unconscious again.

@Serotoninluv you introduced a few bring-back-to-present techniques, and as you said some of those were more and some other were less effective than others. but the whole point is even the more effective ones lose its effectiveness in the long run. because you want to use those as an anchor for the present moment, but the thing is even when "present moment" is used as the expression in your mind, you lose the touch with it completely. that's why I say that being present should be spontaneous!

upon years after birth, when your EGO emerged and fledged fully, you developed different things including talking, thinking, etc. after you learned your mother tongue, you began to talk and interact with those around you, but surprisingly you developed another type of interaction! if you've ever noticed almost every person on earth has got a voice inside his or her head and you see that people have identified themselves with that voice. catch yourself once you talk to yourself in your head! notice, who you're talking to? are you two persons interacting together? if you observe more and be aware of the whole dysfunctional behavior pattern, you'd see that the "talking self" originates from a really superficial level and your "observer self" is way much deeper than that. this talking self has created problems in your life and will create more in the future. because this talking self is coming from a limited box aka EGO. this behavior detracts you from a higher or observer self. so be more observant and turn that voice off. the irony is that when you teach mindfulness meditation to people, when they're in meditation, they begin talk to themselves: "okay, in my meditation, lemme clear up my thoughts" and they try and try but they fail and again self-talk begins: "goddamit! why the heck this doesn't work? why amn't I good at this? " and they never take it much deeper. now the kicker is, some people who realize self-talk, they kinda try to talk to themselves again to convince themselves not to talk to, they should understand that birds of a feather flock together, you can't eliminate a thought with another thought or a self-talk with another self-talk, ultimately an unconditional observer is required to terminate all of these malicious patterns forever.

@Elham Good question! The Ego communicating to itself in many forms but for the most part, it's thoughts in the forms of imagination and inner voice. saying that without talking to yourself, we can't get things done is shallow thinking and perspective about ourselves, because we have more things in deeper parts that know what will be doing based upon our individual agendas. one of them is feeling or for some people much deeper involved like intuition. for example, it happens a lot to us that when we know that we gotta wake up at 5:00 AM, we see that we wake up instantly in or on time without any conscious interference in the process. you might be asking, why the heck even positive self-talk isn't that important? if you're doing positive self-talk right now chances are you will do negative self-talk in the future because their origin is the same: EGO and both types of self-talks reinforce each other indirectly!! P.S: In some consciousness teachings, they refer to intuition as "inner voice", so watch out not to confuse this stuff together.

@Eph75 not only did I point my finger to negative self-talk but also did refer to positive self-talk. any self-talk no matter it's positive or negative, it's self-talk and it reinforces the mechanisms of EGO just like negative self-talk does and even you can see positive self-talk doesn't help you to change yourself that much because it originates from a shallow and surface level.

No, not like that. the whole point of visualization is to flow the certain "FEELING" in you, thus programming your subconscious mind. if you're visualizing for one specific scene, you can visualize the same scenario or different scenarios for the related content (DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU CHANGE IT SINCE IT'S ABOUT THE SAME CONTENT), don't forget to do 30 minutes of meditation before EVERY visualization because your brainwaves should descend down to alpha or delta state.

@Raptorsin7 it should be done in a time that your mind is a bit detached from daily life activities, since I'm a bit perfectionist, it should be done in absolute darkness, you should find your specific time when your mind is tranquil and still, either early in the morning or late at night. for me, night time is my right time when I'm not feeling sleepy. but finding the right time is not the only factor, you should carefully watch the dark screen of your mind.

@Rasheed I don't know which type of taking action you're talking about since even changing from inside without even moving one millimeter is taking action for me! but as a mater of fact, subconscious absorbs all of videos if you even don't do anything I mean just watching it, in fact, there should be a big difference between somebody who hasn't watched the videos at all and somebody who has watched half of them and forgot about it as time progressed.