StarStruck

This was just to test the waters. I read about some horror stories so I wanted to test the waters before jumping into the pool so to say. I know myself so I wanted to take it slow. So I didn’t want my first time to be horrific and then stay away from the god molecule for god knows how long. My intention for the trip: -test the waters -letting go/stop resisting -be ready to die I put all the gear ready. I meditated for 30 minutes before starting. I knew this wasn’t going to be a deep trip and it will feel like dying. In my head I imagined a train coming and me jumping in front of the train. Would I do it? I said yes. I heated the pipe, vapor started to form, I put the pipe in my mouth and inhaled. I held it in for 30 seconds and I felt it coming. There was still ego, it was resisting, and if I didn’t know any better and resisted it would have been a disaster, but I knew better. At this point I realized that ego death is scarier than actual death. I wasn’t resisting but my ego was like a little child jumping in trying to stop me. Started to see some fractals but it was only for couple of seconds. It was scary but for some reason I liked the fear. I felt alive after years of dissociation. It was so counter intuitive. Mind you this was just one hit. I wanted to go for a second hit but I realized the vapor was already gone. Tried it anyway but probably burnt it or the vapor was already gone because I didn’t take consequent hits. Take-ways: -Ego death is scarier than actual death -I got some experience how to heat the pipe (without wasting a big dose of DMT) -I knew small dose of 5-Meo-DMT is scarier than a big dose because there is still ego. -DMT showed me what letting go really means but that I have some inner resistance - I knew the truth was at the end of the tunnel; only obstacle to reach the truth is resistance The first take-away was already know to me but now I experienced first hand. Overal it was a pleasant experience as crazy as that sounds. I felt like one of those people who do dangerous sports to feel alive but it is not the same of course. I can imagine some people having bad trips because of this psychedelic. You have to research. I knew for example what ego death was and that it is scarier than actual death but it is one thing to know it, it is another thing to actually kill it. Conclusion: -I would have gone all the way but the trip wasn’t strong enough. -I only took one hit so that is understandable. The real dose I got is probably 1/3th of 10mg -I got the hang how to heat the pipe. That is valuable to me. I didn’t waste a huge dose -And I got a taste what ego death is; my previous notion of ego death was childish -next time I’m going to do 10 mg again but I will take 3 hits instead of 1 -research how to heat the pipe a little more, the liquid disappeared very quickly, there was no burn though -at no point I told myself what did I get myself into. I was going deeper and deeper but it stopped prematurely because of low dose.

He was a true trooper.

@trenton Rich people let other people work for them.

@Dutch guy just pop some 5 MeO and tell me how it went. :))

Are you really asking that question? 5 MeO is spooky. Not everybody is into killing himself. Especially if that person is heavily invested or happy with his current life. Promoting psychedelics will do jack shit. There is already a main stream group who does it and they use it for recreational purposes. According to spiral dynamics people evolve out of necessity. Hard to convince people to do something out of selfless reasons. People usually ask what is it in for me? I’m struggling with this too.

Couple of days ago I did my first mini dose of 5-MeO-DMT. I got the experience I was already expecting. I felt like literally dying but I handled it well. The ego was fighting back but I guess that is normal or not? What can I do to prepare? I read in some threads that there is nothing you can do to prepare for this but if you have a history of tensing up, there are some things you can do like meditation, trauma release and shadow work. I did those things but when I came eye to eye with ego death all my preparation went out the window and my survival instinct kicked in. I was ready but my ego wasn't. I don't even know what it was defending? It just "was". Me having an ego death right now is with minimal dangers. I don't have wife and kids. I'm in between jobs. My only obligation is school. And there is a quarantine. Might go balls to the wall but I'm trying to understand why my first experience was so different than other people's first time.

@Nahm I got that insight in a recent trip. The only reason I believe something is because I believe something. 5 MeO can help me with letting go of trauma but I read it can make it worse too. That is why I’m careful. By the way I have a technical question: If I believe I’m not my avatar anymore, the duality collapse, I merge into non-duality and come back into this realm of dualism, right? Only with your “physical” death you merge permanently with non duality / infinity if I understand it correctly. I mean to type this message on this forum one has to use duality.

That doesn’t sound like ego death to me. @Javfly33 @28 cm unbuffed Thanks for sharing that. I think we have some commonalities in that regard.

@Thought Art thanks for sharing your report. How many hits did you take off one 5 mg dose? When I heated my pipe the substance vaporized immediately. I wanted to take 3 hits but I got 1 hit.

@OBEler small dose of 5 MeO is scarier for the ego, because the ego is still there. It will feel like you are literally dying. I handled it well because I have been training my mental release muscles. It feels like you are sinking into the ground. And to me it was clear there were two options resisting or surrender (which means dying). To me this kind of fear was unknown. If you don't have a reference experience, it will catch you off guard.

Openmindedness means not having a bias. It doesn't have to do with truth. The truth is the outcome/product.

It is the day after. I had a dream that I was a hunter in the Victorian era with dogs and the equipment and then I vanished into infinity. Tonight I planned another 10mg but I’m not sure if I should take it. Yesterday I got a taste what dying of the ego means. I mean I can prepare more but how much can you prepare for such a thing? Going for a walk and after that I will decide.

@GodDesireOnlyLove thanks for the lesson

Define intelligence. The question is too broad.

It is just a model.

@acidgoofy I put the dmt in the pipe, there was no herbs involved. I used this technique: He says the DMT get’s liquidified but when I did it vaporized away very fast. I got some Domiana herbs. I will try what you said but wouldn’t the vapor not get wasted? I imagine the vapor going up instead down in the pipe.

@nowimhere Here is my trip report: I probably burnt most of the molecules, but it was my first time so I now I know how quick it vaporizes. There was some blackish residue on the bottom. That is not a good sign I think. By the way, I couldn't put herbs in the pipe, the holes were too small, I think I need another pipe. I just put DMT in the pipe without anything else.

True. There a lot of factors at play. I was focused on sexual cycle. Women get hornier on their periods for example but their whole fertility up to 40 is a cycle too. https://www.instyle.com/lifestyle/hump-day-dirty-30s-sexual-prime

Male sexuality peaks in their 20'ies while women sexuality peak in their late 30'ies. They say at late 30'ies women are more horny than their opposite sex counter parts.

@nowimhere I don’t have mullien but I do have some similar herbs that I can use I guess. I will start off with 10 mg so I don’t expect much.

For people who speak Turkish it is an interesting channel. It has a focus on science but it also touches upon spirituality with infinity and non-duality. This video is for example about Zeno's paradox to prove infinity and non-duality.

@nowimhere I can’t find anything on what is the best way to put the dmt in the pipe. I guess just weigh it on a little paper and the put it through the big hole in top?

AthleanX is good.

Is this pipe good for 5 meo DMT? It has two holes. One on the top and one on the side.

@Michael569 Leo's understanding of a healthy diet is not that good. I mean he says smoothies are healthy. If you blend fruit, you destroy the fiber and it just becomes sugar with little nutritious benefit. Also eating the soup for days on end is not a good idea. He said he makes these soups so he doesn't have to cook everyday. I mean, I can poke at his bad advice all day. These are just examples. Humans need fresh food. It also depends on your genetics what diet fits best but a lot of fresh (leef) greens, legumes, meats, olives and so on is a good start. I gave my recommendation to Chumbibma. You are free to give your own recommendation too.