StarStruck

I have been doing the same for a week to do shadow work and it works great. I'm kind of worrisome to do this on the long term because of unknown health effects.

@LfcCharlie4 Also another point. You don't have to be with people to get something. I'm not necessarily with somebody to get good vibes or learn something. It is also about sharing from the point of view of being who you are. Perhaps the topic starter can flip his paradigm around and ask himself what can I give instead of what do I "need".

Friends who motivate you to become better is great. Especially if you can learn from them or ones that give you a positive vibe. As the saying goes you are the average of the people you hang out with.

End of this months I have some death lines. Is it wise to take a high dose of 5 Meo DMT in such a scenario? My max dose was about 13 mg but I'm mostly micro-dosing to open up my lower chakra's.

A lot of people are addicted to it because our ancestors didn't have access to such an unnatural stimuli. There are interesting studies done on this.

Whatever you do. Don't learn nutrition from YouTube. Those uncertified quacks ruin other people's lives while ruining their own. Real answer is that aren't good protein options for vegans. If you really want to push through I would listen certified nutritionists only.

Section 01. Introduction 1. Introduction 2-5-2020 01:54 2. How To Go Through This Program This is experimental, not theoretical. You have to go through it. It is a journey. · From scarcity to abundance · Let the exp take over · It is about inner exp Requirements for this program: 1. Awareness: see things different and global understanding 2. Proof: experimental part, inner exp is key, now you apply it 3. Permanence: how to make the change stay and explore your subconscious Two separate parts of this program · Guided morning and evening routine approach · Outer approach Section 02. Awareness 01. Get To The Cause · Paradigms(assumptions) are lenses/maps; how you see the world o You see the world as you are conditioned, not how it is o You are not aware of it · Main two paradigms is abundance/scarcity (think back to glasses/maps metaphor) o Your assumption is scarcity (not being enough, self-hate and stress) o You are not in the one or the other, this paradigm is a spectrum o Read 7 habits of highly effective people o Your paradigm determines what you see. It determines your reality. o And what you do and what you think enforces certain paradigms o Paradigms don't exist: internal models determine external model 02. Scarcity vs Abundance · It is not what you are doing, but where it comes from · You can do same thing but paradigm change makes the difference o Scarcity(reacting): from desperation, compulsion, from fear(working against yourself) o Abundance(generating): from inspiration, authentic (just happens because!) · Read power versus force o Effort is not a virtue o Less effort the more powerful it is o Effort takes energy out of you o It doesn't mean you do less: there is just less stress o Just let go/unleash ( remember: it is the place it is coming from) · This is source of addiction: o Desperation: you do something to run away from something (what are you running from? Let go from what you are running from) o Inspiration: why are you do something? You welcome everything, not resisting anything, no suffering o When you remove desperation you get inspiration o It is about the intention that should be good, not the urge. Urging anything won't get you anything. o You aren't the character in the game, you are the person who is playing the game. Enjoy the game. 03. The Goal 2-5-2020 13:52 · The goal = Oneness = abundance o there is nothing you can do to deserve it o it can't depend on anything o You have to start with abundance, it can't be learnt, it is assumed o It is a state, it is not in the game, it is before it · Don't wait until you get things in your life before accepting abundance o You can't have the good without the bad, be aware of that = enjoy the thing, don't depend on it · Abundance is about nonduality · Read the Kabalian 04. The Journey · This is journey of removing, not adding o Remove false paradigm of scarcity o It is not about knowledge o Learn by letting go, not holding onto o It is a state o Let go of all emotions: positive and bad · Having > doing > being · You have to be it, not do it · It is a default · It is pre-verbal / non-conceptual · Happiness is opposite of not being happy, let go of that cycle, go into nonduality 05. My Story · Julien escaped life of drinking, day dreaming, sleeping · Don't be stuck and fall into the same trap 1. Step 1: optimize to gain situational confidence a. But you are still acting within the old paradigm where you are stuck b. Optimizing your situation eliminates your excuses c. When you optimize you run away from something to something else d. Misery is your first teacher, dropping it is your second teacher 2. Step 2: drop paradigm a. You have to be ok with nothing, give up everything, come to this point of desperation b. When you are one step away from despair you are one step away from enlightenment c. There are different tools to optimize your life and eventually drop it d. You know you are ready for dropping when you have a state of relief after you dropped it 06. Commit To Abundance · If you don't feel resistance when you are improving yourself, you are doing something wrong o If you drop everything, inspiration is something that is natural, it comes natural o It should feel like a personal attack o It should feel like weight training · You will feel into nothingness and from there you will be "everythingness" = ego death o Be honest: everything you did didn't work o Be sick of it o Be authentic with yourself. How long you want to chase ghosts? How many disappointments you want to take? o Nothing you will get will make you happy; realize this (if you keep it up it will make the graving alive and you will keep stick in your paradigm) o Escapism is greatest problem of this world · There has to be willingness to commit to abundance o When you change the internal, the external will manifest o You can still enjoy the same things but it will come from a different place; you experience it like for the first time; you can finally enjoy life Section 03. Proof 01. How to Let Go · Letting go of false scarcity (and everything is built upon it, and reinforcing it) is the goal · Concentration exercises is good but it doesn't get to the cause. Julian is more about mindfulness(focus on what you are running from) · Recommendation: Pranic healing/breathing. David Hawking. Eckhart Tolle. · You have to experience abundance. That is only way to get it. · You can't figure it out or think of letting go. Detach from your mind/thoughts/emotions · Three steps: a. be aware b. Allow yourself to exp c. Let it come up 02. Step 1 - Be Aware Of What You Want To Let Go Off · Step 1: become aware/mindful · Focus on sensations. Don't focus on thoughts/emotions for this work. o When you focus on thoughts, that thought will lead to another thought and make that pattern in your mind stronger. o If you keep doing what you rae doing it will go on forever until you die · Sensations: tightness, tingling, breath o It is the data in your body, that your brain interprets and converts to thoughts/emotions o Sensations can be located it in your body, emotions can't o If you let go of sensations you can't let go of the associated thoughts/emotions o Learn body awareness 03. Step 2 - Allow Yourself To Experience It Fully · Step 2: allow yourself, accept it fully, don't get rid of it, experience it, don't make sense, don't validate, just feel it, don't suppress it, accept it, be with it unconditionally, don't change it, be with them, don't abandon them · It will change by itself by experience it · Don't do things to change your sensations: they mature by giving attention 04. Step 3 - Let It Come Up And Let It Out · Step 3: let them run their course and reach their natural end · They will disappear in nothingness, they will leave on their own, they want to leave but you are stopping them · Bring awareness to them with techniques · Relief will come which is a good sign 05. Guided Release · Pranic breathing is the method · There shouldn't be external distractions · Back straight, to stay alart · Place hands on lap, facing down · Just feel, don't resist experience them fully, stay with them, sink in with them, let them take over, tell them you are with them and be 1. Be aware of what you want to let go, feel into your body right now, visualize inner chatter, 2. Focus on root/basic chakra which is your base of your spine 3. Breath in from nose for 6 seconds, hold for 3, breath out for 6 out of mouth (maske ssssh sound and letting those sensations go Section 04. Permanence 01. The Subconscious Mind 03/05/2020 14:17 · Letting go gives you proof but it is still in your subconscious, if you want it permanent you need to dig and let it go subconscious · Conscious is on the surface which is 10%, subconscious is under the water which is 90% o If you are conscious of everything you wouldn't be able to survive o Things that are learnt will be stored in your subconscious o Something that can't be faced will be taken over by your subconscious: trauma's, grudges, wounds, beliefs and assumption o Subconsciousness is active if you want it or not o It is on repeat; the longer it is active the more momentum it has · Subconscious is in charge o Get to the cause o Be present o Let go of the assumption of scarcity o Let go off the subconscious shit o Whatever your resist, persists o Whatever you don't use, you lose o You won't do anything harmful to yourself consciousness, you do it unconsciousness o Be aware that subconscious will pull you back. It is stronger than the conscious. o You can't bullshit your subconsciousness: don't tweak the effects, tweak the cause o Subconscious is our friend, not our enemy, although now it is the other way around 02. Social Conditioning · There are acceptable things and unacceptable things by our society: unquestionable dogmas are the walls · There are first and second hand experience o Most of our info and what you accept as truth is second hand experience; info from other people · How certain they are · How aligned they are with it · How many people believe it · Then you accept it as valid although it isn't o Example of second hand exp forms your map of the world: · scarcity · You are not popular · Relationships are painful · Worst punishment: withdrawal of love o It formed you o Your parents didn't know better; don't blame yourself or your parents o You suppressed certain parts because of this; you don't have a memory of this · Birth of Ego: everything that is acceptable, and everything that is nonacceptable (self-hate for example) o You are the meanest people for yourself: you are abandoning your subconscious self, you don't know yourself fully, you kill self-trust because some parts are against you, repelling people because you are a fuckup, when you get it you will lose it 03. Pandora's Box · What is in your subconscious? o Unacceptable thoughts/emotions/traits/trauma's o Not all aspects are bad; they are just labelled that way o Example: being judged for hard laughter, being abandoned, being rejected/shocked/not being loved o You shouldn't laugh less than every two weeks o You won't remember trauma's most of the time; main theme repression · It can manifest into people pleasing, avoiding stuff, being afraid 04. The Process · Don't try to fix it (which means not accepting), accept it by not resisting so they don't get stuck o Accepting doesn't equal approving = validate it that it is there o Don't compensate by inflating ego by trying to get success o Understand your psyche as a whole; create an oneness o Going through it instead of repress it/deny it; head on approach · It is about dissolving the ego, not working on your ego. This how you create abundance/core-confidence · It is a click; being comfortable in your skin · Your default should be deserving 05. Opening Pandora's Box · It won't be pleasant but you are on the right path with trauma release o Let it take over; surrender to it; it will feel like death (ego death) o It is matter of where you invest in. Do you want to surrender/transcend or resist? · Let go of sensations: time * reps until sensations are gone o Things will go bad before it goes good; one step backwards, two steps forward o Trauma is there because you resisted it so experience it and let go of it o Feel whatever is; develop a taste for pain; let the ego melt · Put it into perspective; most stuff is not bad as it seemed · Law attraction angle: whatever is running in the background you attract o Take out momentum out of it o Bring awareness to it, don't think about it 06. Identifying The Subconscious · Step one is becoming aware of the trauma's so how do you become aware of trauma's? · There is no general list because it is different for everybody · Methods: a. Think back of your childhood: what were acceptable and what were unacceptable? What were family values? The repressed are the walls of the castle. b. Think back of returning patterns: What are your returning patterns in your life? There is no coincidences. Accept the suppressed otherwise you recreate situation until you self-accepted. You will be forced until you find a resolution. The scale of the situation might be the same but the underlying thing will be the same. i. The cause is the first traumatic experience (the media scandal is the effect of the original trauma for example) ii. Be aware how you recreate parental relationships in your life: what are you drawn to? And what do you avoid? Remove the cause c. Think back of when you are triggered: when did you react disproportional? It has to do with pain bodies (Eckhart Tolle). Examples of sensations: anger, fear, guilt, shame, rage, drama, addictive behaviour. It is signal of suppression. d. Think back of what you escape from: when did you escape something? Dive into the sensation. Examples of escapism: masturbation to escape, socializing, eating sleeping surf the web, putting up a front e. Think back of fear. When were you afraid? Get to the root. Let go of the resistance. Break the cycle. Examples: fear of being abandoned, FOMO, not being in control, not being accepted. · Follow the reaction to the source: cultivate awareness in the moment, catch it, take perspective and let it go o Take the momentum out of the reaction o It is not what triggered, it is what being stirred up, what is suppressed inside you? See the structure instead of the content o Breath into those sensations o Purposely trigger yourself o It is better to face it right now because with time the trauma will get worse 07. How To Let Go Of The Subconscious Mind · How to let it go which is step 3. Recap: Be aware of what you let to, dive into the sensations in your body (don't get stuck in the story in head head), follow it to the source, think back of the first time you felt this sensation. Repeat the question "when was the first time?" until you get to it. · Method o Don't force the process. Dissolve the resistance by relaxing your body and your mind. o Shame, fear and guilt should be the first pillars to remove before diving deeper into yourself. o Be aware of cues of your mind. There is no wrong path but don't think, just feel through it. It is about de-sensation. o Set and setting is important; verbalize safety to yourself o Ground yourself: base of your feet are roots going into the ground o Use pranic breathing o Accept and validate the sensation; fully and unconditionally o Be patient and invite the sensations to leave 08. Guided Subconscious Release · Place yourself in a safe environment without distraction. Let your subconscious know. · Put your spine straight and your palms on your legs · Visualize chatter box in your mind, change the location to the spine and moving down, lock the position · Operate from the base of your spine · Do 3 cycles of pranic breathing(first round): close your eyes, breath in for 6 seconds, hold for 3 seconds, release for 6 seconds, hold for 3, breath normal, repeat · Operate from the base of your spine but now also to the ground: visualize roots from your foot going deep in the earth, grounding you · Repeat 3 cycles of pranic breathing(second round): breath to the roots, breath in/out strengthen the grounded connection. Breath out with a "ssssh" sound to let the sensations out. · Feel the grounded connection afterwards · You are out of your head and in your body: breath into it o become aware of the sensations, let things come up if it wants to come up (distractions, fears or triggers). Let them take over. o Follow it to the source. Ask yourself what was the previous time I felt like this? Accept it fully and unconditionally o Now ask when was the first time you experienced this sensation. Let it come up. Put your awareness on it. Let go of resistence. o Stay with the sensations and let it come up. Don't label them. Don't try to understand. Surrender to it. Validate and accept it. Breath to it. Be with it. · Do another 3 cycles of pranic breathing(third round): letting go o Let it come up and let it go. Invite them to come up and let them run their natural course. Remind yourself that they want to leave but you are resisting it. o Experience the relief, embrace the experience of the new self. · Do the fourth round of pranic breathing: do it and come back, and afterwards put awareness of your surrounding 05. Conclusion 22. Conclusion · Now you know what letting go is (awareness), how to let go (proof), how to dig up, accept and reown in your subconcious (permanence), but how long does this take? How long before you get self-actualized? It is the wrong question. Leave the paradigm of succeeding. You are already there. It is in the now. · There is nothing to reach. Don't see it as a goal. You will never reach it. Give up by trying to reach it and you will be there. That is the journey. Let go of trying to get somewhere. · Even if you get there you will be afraid of losing it. Don't be too serious about it. It is not about perfectionism. Enjoy the moment. It is presence. · How much are you smiling? That is the indictator of success. It is not a sprint. It is a marathon. · Do it for the sake of doing it. Rediscover yourself. Be curious. · Let go the destination

I got my ceramic vape tank for 5 MeO DMT. I tested it with a micro dose. It works well. Right settings for the vape device is key. It was a pleasurable experience. Some people don’t recommend micro dosing but I find it very useful for emotional development, self inquiry and contemplation. The monkey minds get’s exposed and it feels like a mini reality check. Egoless thinking is something I achieved I yet have to do my big dose but I have to plan this. Can’t be having an ego death while important stuff is coming up.

The book called mastery is good.

I did a lot of self inquiry in the last few weeks. I started feeling emotions that I didn't feel in a long time. I got a flood of sadness and grief. I did some research and I found this: This is so helpful. A lot more things make sense to me right now. I started contemplating and I noticed how hard it is to distinguish these feelings while on the surface it seems very simple and straight forward. I have been cross contemplating for 1 day right now and I only managed to really understand the bottom 4. This is hard shit. It is much easier to just watch a video than doing the hard work.. lol. How blind was I, this should actually been one of the first things I should have learnt. This is so critical for enlightenment, self-help and with every day life really. My meditation routine isn't that great, many days of the weeks I don't even put 20 minutes per day into meditation. This week I'm going to investigate how come.

How was your mother? Was she judging you a lot? It seems you judge yourself too much. I would start there. Judging yourself has zero positive influence on you so stop that shit.

As I a teenager I was into art. This week I got back into it and refound a passion. This is an example of what I made:

Infinity which is consciousness is awareness and awareness is prior to thought and theory. Once you begin to theorize infinity you start putting finite constructs on it and you will lose point.

The videos of this guy are so good. His videos aren't very long and they go straight to the heart of the matter. Yesterday I did a walk in the forest and did couple of his mind exercises. It almost felt like a psychedelic trip. It is just amazing. I'm finally getting the first fruits of my spirituality journey. There is was this immense happiness that I haven't felt for a long time.

That is great shit, thanks. There are some paid alternatives but free is always better. lol

That is like asking why the world is round after you discovered the world is round. That is not how you ask good questions.

Just lock and load, and stay inside.

Can't vomit on an empty stomach. LSD should be taken on an empty stomach since too much food can lower the effect of the psychedelic.

I just got amazing insights in how symbolic the mind is. The universe keeps sending the person in question the same problems and hopes the person takes the lesson. Its design is just marvelous and so delicate. Just amazing how our paradigms works almost like a clockwork locking us in.

It is hard to predict but panic is basically resistance to something so that is a good indicator to use when following the bread crumbs.

I panicked with my first lsd trip too because it caught me off guard. Just be careful not to get caught in vicious cycles.

Isn't doing self help implying that you are not good enough as you are? It is something I don't get or at least: I can't explain it to myself. For example if you tell yourself you look good as you are and you go and do a nose job, are you really? This can be applied to self help too. You accept yourself as you are and afterwards you are trying to change major parts of yourself. I noticed that my inner self is resisting to the idea of changing and self improving because of this inconsistency. I feel self neglected, being lied to and thus I lose my drive. Self sabotage is also a thing that happens. What I'm really asking, I think, is how to accept yourself, not neglect your inner child, and at the same time try to change him. For me personally I think this feeling of self neglect stems from my childhood.

@LfcCharlie4 I had this thought this morning: one can wish for a good life because it had a bad life and one “deserves it” to ease the pain of that wound or... one can wish for a good life without that compulse. I think the same can be applied to life purpose. You can have a life purpose to fill the void of feeling like a loser or you can have a life purpose without that impulse.

@LfcCharlie4 thanks for the explanation. I’m familiar with stoic philosophy and I know what you are taking about but it is hard to implement. I’m just curious about how an awakened person perceives an addiction. An addiction is resistance or escapism. Your body and mind runs away from a thing. So as an awakened person you can perform an addiction or not perform your addiction, and you are ok with both? It is kind of confusing for me if you are also doing self help. I guess one also has to be stoic when going against your own addiction, if you chose to do so. Quote: “Life simply becomes a celebration and you can do whatever the fuck it is that you want, that's Absolute Freedom, there is NO rules. This is why it's important you sit down and decide what you actually want for your life, and then you go out there and do it, Leo's video on life advice for young people is great.“ End quote. If you chose something for your life for example success, doesn’t it mean you don’t chose the other thing such as failure? How can you be ok with both succes and failure at the same time if you chose?

It is not the fault of the "followers". Gurus tell their followers "enlightenment will solve all of your problems." You said this line more than once. I'm not really judging. I'm curious how people feel about their addictions and procrastination after they declared themselves gods.