StarStruck

I'm preparing myself with breath work:

Another insight I had, which is related to the post above. People communicate on 4 levels: words, which is surface level body language, which is a little deeper Intentions, which is under the surface Vibe, which is even deeper Game is really about play also known as vibing, it is not about the words, body language but more about the intention (which should be to play with the other) and the energy level (which is vibe). It is better to focus on vibe and intentions because those two things determine our body language and words. That is actually how our chain of energy work. If we think too much about what we want to say and how we come across, we communicate on a surface level. On the other hand, if we just focus on our vibe and intention in our conversation, we put the power within our own lotus of control. We are in action, while the other is in reaction. To have fun, we should be depended on the other. The guy has to be yang so the girl can be the ying.

@tatsumaru I know abundance is very attractive to girls. This is the thing: in conversations I try "to be" instead of trying "to do". When I'm "being" genuinely disappointed, should I just suppress that? I don't know what to do with the unjustified feeling of rejection. This "being frame" is great for being authentic but it is a double edged sword. Authenticity can attract but also repel.

I was so needy to get her number at the end. I think I messed it up but we will see.

@universe perhaps I was hurt but I do get her position. Next time I think I will apologize for pushing her to give her number, she didn't like that and I could tell that from her face. Also I bailed right after asking her number, not getting it, me giving her my number which wasn't nice I guess.

Lessons that I learned from this 5+ streak: Emotional communication is so key. Women are sooo attuned to what you radiate. If you are giddy, needy or whatever they can pick that up like a sonar radar. If you are confident and blaze, they will pick that up too. They love the later, hate the former. Don't force, rather use power; holding onto versus releasing Find a good balance between doing pickup from the ego (doing/pushing) versus from the heart (letting things be). I'm definitely prone to doing/pushing and it is hard to undo that. I achieved success when I approached from the heart (letting things happen organically and if they don't happen, it is ok too). Approaching from the heart is really an accepting energy that girls like, but at the same time you also need penetrating force of the ego. It is best if she doesn't feel that penetrating force. I felt bad that a lot of the girls I talked to had a bf. This comes back to that accepting energy that I lack. Note to self: when a girl gives you her hand.. don't pull Holding her hand is good to feel is she grasp your hand which is an indicator of interest but pulling her hand was a mistake I won't make again. This Belarusian girl was so hot, I had to try everything, but unfortunately she had a bf. Girls love a guy that shows emotion; it is like porn to them. Note to self: when you don't know what to say, just whine about your emotions... be vulnerable! even if it is fake, it is not like girls aren't fake Guys are like dogs. Girls are like cats. A dog doesn't mind if you just walk towards it to pet it. A cat on the other hand will be afraid and walk away. It is really the same with guys and girls. With girls and cats it is important to be accepting and baby stepping. Love for me is holding onto her, because I'm afraid to lose her, while real love is the opposite of attachment; it is letting go, trusting the other, and letting things be During this 5+ streaks other girls have seen me approach and it was ok, they just looked and whispered something and I was fine. For me it is a big deal because I care what people think. I shouldn't bail after getting a number, it makes me look like I just want her number and nothing more I should ask logistics early on, something I forget most of the time

@Aaron Truth Congrats how long you meditate per day?

Recently I relapsed and I made a post about it. Now I'm back on track and on day 4 of no-fap. I feel great, sharp and energetic. Most importantly I don't feel numb: I feel like most people don't understand what it is to be porn addicted for 10 years and how that influenced by dating life. I do sympathize with those people because it is hard to understand but if I want to fix this part of my life I need to cut my addictive ties to porn. Not only does it rob me of motivation to chase girls because why do all the work when satisfaction is 3 clicks away? It also messed up my dopamine system and motivation in general. Another aspect is ED sometimes which is of course a technical issue but also affects my self esteem. From personal experience I can say no-fap is a gamechanger. It is the physical aspect to the solution of my problem. I can fix my psyche but if my body is not aligned with my psyche, it is not really going to work. Fixing one's dating life has to be holistic and has to take in account both the mind and body. No-fap makes me a different person, in a good way. I can actually feel my manhood. I feel alive and not numbed. That is not only good for attracting girls but good for life in general. I can actually feel emotions. Buddhists talk about semen retention and the importance of it for personal development. I think there is a lot of unawareness about this. Man's seed is finite. Be conscious about where you spend it on. Sperm ready for use only stays 30 days in the body. If one doesn't spend it, the energy of your seed will be absorbed into your body. Source: https://www.listennotes.com/podcasts/positive-and/nofap-napoleon-hill-chapter-ybqLxIYKC04/

Having fun is most important part of "game". And guess what: having fun requires being in touch with the feminine which connects to my previous posts! This part hit the spot: With a strategy already imposed, the opponent will have already known your move. But like water if you are formless and have devised an attack they have never seen before, they will be confused, they will not know where or whence you come from, and they will perish." This is how you play a game. Even in fight and competition, you need creativity. Creativity is serendipity. Creativity creates confusion. Creativity creates peace. Creativity creates happiness. Creativity creates fun and games. Girls like creativity i think, so play the game. Have fun. Don't be pussed out because you lost one game. @charlie cho thanks

This is really an interesting topic and coincidentally it connects to my 2 last posts: intotheblack, ethernalcat and emarald make some interesting points about integrating the feminine side. When I look back, this is exactly what I'm mising. Here is an interesting video that I will be using to integrate my feminine side. Teal Swan has more than one video on this topic:

If you are stubborn and can't surrender, and you know this from yourself, bad trips can be bad.

@Leo Gura can't you eat different kind of meats? It must be hard to only eat chicken.

Going to the gym really helps to get rid of that excess energy in my body. Problem is that I can't go to the gym all the time. Looking for a setup for home. Nofap really changes me. I get so much sharper and energetic. I should have finished my 90 day streak to rewire my dopamine system and heal my nervous system. This is why I want to do long streaks. Short streaks doesn't heal my body and brain.

I was this guy in this story so many times

This connects to the last post. I need to develop the lover archetype. That archetype is totally missing within me.

I'm doing pickup very sporadically. It isn't working out for me. Doing streaks is much better but those can only be done in the weekend when shopping streets are packed. As a newbie it is hard to calibrate, doing streaks is a great way to calibrate. These sporadic pickups are ruining my game and my self-esteem. Yesterday it was a lesbian girl that I approached and I was empty handed.. that stung a little. Today I approached 3 girls. The first one was underage. And the second and third one had a boyfriend. I was very uncalibrated in the sense that I was very giddy, responsive (instead of being in my own power), and in a way sucking energy from the two girls, I almost felt like a parasite. They were all ok conversations besides the one who was underage which was cringe. Actually I shouldn't be disappointed or feel bad about approaching girls who are taken. The one joked about my directness and we had a laugh, and the other one was fun too when I did a push-pull about her trousers. I really need to stop being direct (which causes rudeness, bluntness, clumsiness and being uncalibrated). Where does this directness come from? It is anti-flexibility, perhaps from fear and neediness? I don't feel good in my skin. I want results but why? I'm not happy with myself and in my core I know a girl wouldn't make me happy; in fact other people say this and I can learn from other people; I need to be happy with myself before I can make other people happy. There is a forks in the road. I can stop doing pickup and never solve this or I can continue doing pickup and solve my problems. It is not easy though. Doing pickup is confront girls as much as confronting myself. I hate this ugly side that I described above. I push it in my shadow which is not good! I need to take this ugly side of myself out of the shadow and integrate it.... I feel shitty! And I know where this shittiness comes from: it comes from going into my shadow by doing pickup! Why am I so direct? Well, I'm new with this so it is logical than I'm not very sophisticated. I just have to work on being indirect. I know the theory but I think I have to take a more layered approach. At the same time I know this directness of mine (which I underlined), a problem of my across the board. This week for me was "do! do! do!", it was reckless practice imho. Did I approach a lot? No! But for me it was a lot. Now I think it is time to introduce theory again. The lack of results, only had two numbers, that flaked, really take a toll on my selfesteem, even though a big portion of the girls I approached had a bf, one was lesbian or something else. I'm not going to disregard my emotions that I'm feeling right now. I'm hurt. And in the beginning of my pickup journey I promised I would chose myself first, love myself first, think about my interests first, think about my happiness first, and then think about other people, just like how everybody else does!

If you look generic mentor you can hire a therapist. A lot of them do mentor-ship too.

You guys might have a point here. I'm very stubborn about wanting to be no-fap because it ruined by dating life but perhaps I should be more emotionally intelligent about it. Ideally I wouldn't fap but just find a girlfriend with benefits which I can sleep around with once a week or something. I get ED from porn. It is a big deal for me.

I'm seeing her telling me she has a bf or being lesbian as a rejection. I have no proof of girls lying to me. I really need to stop with this toxic shit. One time I didn't believe a girl having a bf and her gf came up and she confirmed it. I was so embarrassed. The root cause of this behavior is neediness. I need to be one with myself but I don't know how.

Your ancestors came from a cold climate and they depended on meat to survive. It is not strange you don't run on a vegan diet. It is like putting gasoline in a diesel engine. Some vegans know that their diet doesn't work. They are just too invested. Most of them face the music when their engine breaks down but it will be too late.

I approached a girl at a bus stop. She was absolutely stunning and I canceled approaching her and did it anyway. She was very nice and had a timid personality. Unfortunately she was lesbian. I don't know if this is true or if it was a way of rejecting me. I will never know nor does it matter. I think I leaned too much on comfort building and not on attraction building. @Raphael thank you bro

It helped me to be more present and get awareness. You actually get to know yourself since pickup is an inward-out thing; inner game determines outer game and outer game determines results. I had problems with getting out of my head. What is a better way to get out of your head by putting yourself in sometimes impossible situations. Some times it works out and sometimes it doesn't. It doesn't matter. What really matters if that life energy comes into your chakra system. I have started to feel different. These energies really start to pull on you. Especially if you have a schizoid personality (not being connected to your feelings/body) day game is a really good way to bust some life energy into the body. Unfortunately there is a lot of rejections too. In the last month I got rejected more than probably my whole life times 10! It definitely created some anti-fragility and I feel like I'm just in the beginning of the learning curve. Having the power to approach any girl you want gives you a certain personal power. This power transcends into other areas of your life. I noticed this recently. I'm actually flabbergasted how I was more than a month ago and how I'm now. I still have some issues like building emotional connection, having confidence/healthy arrogance, and flirting but I'm working on it. Some girls I talk to for 10-20 minutes and I think everything goes fine and when I ask a number she says no. Unfortunately there is a lot of disappointment too but I really enjoy it. My personality has changed too. There is still playful, relaxed and fun attitude that I go into. I think it is higher presence and it just influences people without me opening my mouth. Until now I got 2 dates, and 4 phone numbers. That is a huge accomplishment for an introverted guy like me. I hope this post helps guys who are on the fence. Take the jump. Pickup can bust open your blocked charkas.

Success is not a coincidence. It is basically being one step in front of the reptilian brain. For me it is about letting go of the attachment to the substance. I want to have the choice. And choice is power. At this moment I don't have to choice to not do it and it is really hurting my self esteem. There is also shame but nobody knows about it. And the sad part is that I'm on and off with my porn addiction for the last 5 years. Fapping is not only way for releasing. Having sex with a girl is another way. I prefer the latter because I did too much of the former. You are right that no-fap builds life energy in the body, but I'm into sports and I can channel it into that. Or I can channel it into pickup; I'm very sharp when I'm on no-fap. There is only stiffness if doesn't know how to channel the energy out of the body.

@Carl-Richard that is actually how I build my streak. I started with one week no fap, then two weeks, then 4 weeks and so on. I want to stop with porn for good. I don't have a healthy reaction to porn and I'm trying to date.

That is why zen masters don't rant. They give clues and riddles for the students. In my way that is the best option in my opinion: tickle her curiosity.