StarStruck

It has to do with dopamine. You burn all your dopamine receptors by watching porn and after that you feel exactly like you describe. If you want to fap, fap without porn. I don't think it is a physical problem but a problem in the brain. The brain is the ignition and you don't only use ignition for sex and masturbation but for all kinds of things to get stuff done.

@flowboy Few years? I kind of wished I would solve my lack of relationships this year. You say you got confident and developed. Did those qualities spill over to other areas of your life? Because I have some procrastination problems and those bug me too.

How did you do it? I keep relapsing.

Thank you man, what do you think about my last post?

Blondie in the gym I'm back from the gym. I got eye contact with a nice blonde (with a slight smile) with nice rounded body. Actually I didn't even want to approach. Coincidently we started talking when we were near each other. I still find it very hard to read if a girl is sexually interested. We talked about a lot of topics, for about 15 minutes. I didn't ask her number because I thought I would see her another time and because I'm trying to tone down my neediness. Sadness & 2 lesbians At the way back home, I got into two separate conversations. A lot of girls are so nice to me since I'm approaching more from the heart rather than the ego. The problem is that girls start seeing me as a poodle instead of a tiger or something. Coincidently both of these two seperate approaches turned out to be lesbian. What are the chances? I didn't believe the second one so she showed her facebook. It is true. Also one told me why I look sad. I was not aware that I looked sad. I noticed that I was really sad... Sadness was poring out of my pores. It didn't even have to do with girls. I'm projecting my sadness onto girls. I was sad in general. Sad about life. If I hadn't done PUA, I would never become so aware of my sadness. PUA forced me to loosen up and guess what? That entails more movement of emotion within my system. I'm so thankful to these two lesbians. I could really open up and I didn't like opening up. I felt so vulnerable. I didn't share anything personal with these two girls. With opening up I meant on an energetic level opening up. Game is about self-development and triggering myself I really need to transcend this general sadness. I would link it to grief which is level 75 on the consciousness level of Dawkins. How to cope with grief? The Nine Stages of Grief Hope —Tormented Hope Anxiety —Anguished Apprehension Depression —Angst-Ridden Sadness Denial —Confused Rejection Pain and Guilt ­—Agonizing Self-Blame Anger and Bargaining —Bitter Resentment Acceptance —Practical Relief Depression —Second Round of Sadness Reverie and Revival —Renaissance I was stuck between denial and pain and guilt. Currently I really feel the sadness about my life in general and I'm just trying to stay with the feeling, trying to sooth myself. I will respect my own pace with acceptance and letting go. Summary So I had a real nice conversation and flirtation with the blondie from the gym. I'm happy with the result. I was trying really hard to let go and NOT be needy, not asking her number, just for shits and giggles. Hoping she would ask my number. That didn't happen. But for me it is more about learning and letting go of my neediness. This is the inner jihad. Those two separate conversations with the lesbians were nice too. A lot of friendly flirtation. It felt so therapeutic. I didn't like just relaxing and being. Because being myself caused my sadness to poor out.

Sometimes game is hard. That is why it is so good. It is comparable to weight lighting. Some people lifts weights all their life so when they go to the gym they will have a easy time. Others will have a hard time because of past laziness. Game is not - only - about Money Looks Age IQ Status Communication skills Being funny It is a combination of these things. If you have a good combo of these things there will be girls interested in you but at the same time thirsting is a no go. It is an abundance killer.

Depending on money to get girls is such a pathetic way of getting girls. You literally can be a flat slob and you can find girls who will want to be with you because of your wealth. Most girls will want to be with such a guy for his money. No money and gone she will be! Getting sex through this way is also not practical. Girl will not put out because she doesn't want to be pumped and dumped. She is there for the money. She will let the rich guy pay a big prize because she wants the guy for the long term while the same girl might put out the first night for a poor sexy guy who is good with game.

Giving context during opening is important. I forget doing this.

Haha, she was almost right. I know but it is choosing between two evils. The Subway bread is clean, the veggies too, the chicken might be shady but it is actual chicken, not some weird processed snot like in chicken nuggets.

I never go to Mcdonalds but two weeks ago I wanted to try the nuggets for old times sake. I went there in my childhood a lot. They aren't that bad. It is definitely not satisfying. Just empty carbs. There is like 10% chicken in a nugget. If I really want something on the go I'm going to subway. You actually get real chicken and fresh veggies.

I came across this video The guy gives horrible advice to this 25 year old virgin. It is interesting to watch noobies. There are a lot of lessons in here: Notice how the guy is doing, doing, doing, pushing, pushing, pushing. He doesn't give the opportunity to the lady to invest back in the conversation. This goes back to doing versus being. Something I talked about in my journal so I won't repeat it. This guy needs to meditate. He is way in his head. The guy who is trying to help him gives him surface level advice about what he should say. He doesn't understand the guy's problem. If they did some pranayamas together and told him to let fucking go, have outcome independence, just enjoy and just chill the fuck out, he would perform much better Notice how girls are either weirded out. Being weird about talking to a girl is as weird as being weird about giving people handshakes. Some girls are being nice but that is out of kindness. There is no emotional connection being developed. The guy is shut off from his body. He is in his head. If he was in touch with his body and felt emotions, the girl would feel safe and feel emotions too and and emotional connection would start to develop. Again: girls love a guy who can express emotions, this is one of the most important lessons I learned. Just talk about your emotions. Talk about how awful the coffee was you had this morning by sharing your emotional experience. It is really that simple but the need guys are way too much in their heads. This dude needs to be more in touch with his emotions and just say what he wants. Letting go of control and just having trust in the process. I do get why he doesn't have these things. He explains it in the beginning of the video. If I were to coach this guy I would fix his problems in this order: Developing trust in himself, abundance mindset Letting become aware of his emotions and letting go of these emotions so he can fucking relax Letting go of control aka have outcome independence

Appreciate it!

There is some idiot on this forum who is proud that he can get girls purely based on his financial position and he is proud on that. So you really have to depend on money to get something? ???????

2 posts ago which was yesterday's post was a breakthrough for me. Today I noticed another major shift from "doing/thinking" to simply "being/effortlessness". I'm still integrating the lessons so I didn't do approaches other than 2 approaches on my way to get my Thai food that I ordered. And again, those two girls had bf's; one waiting for bf, and the other going to bf. It seems like all girls are taken. Perhaps I'm fishing in the wrong pool and I need to approach sets but my game is not good enough to do that, yet. The 2 approaches that I'm talking about went very well. Effortless. Major points are these: 1. freedom of outcome 2. and being chill (so not being serious) and just enjoying the moment Both of these pointers are related to the letting go technique from Dawkins. Omg, it is really a paradigm shift that I experienced. To be honest, my game is still a little bit cranky, but the being paradigm fixes everything, if the girl is interested or just polite. Lately, all girls are complimenting me for approaches. Both of these two girls complimented me. I still have some traces of seriousness in me but it is forgiven. Both girls liked me, why? Because I liked myself! Stopped being a hardass and just letting go and enjoying myself feels great and effortless. Self-actualization is all about choosing for myself before choosing others. Not abandoning myself because others abandon me. Others won't like me when I don't like myself. I'm starting to develop a different relationship to myself with myself. I'm being more a friend to myself, which was not always the case. Victory happens in the mind, before it can manifest in the outside world. Nice video that touches upon what I experienced:

@Leo Gura I cut out bread and people look at me weird. My diet is mostly various kinds of meat and salads. I have hard time to find lunch to-go for work.

It is not about what you can get but what you can share.

@dflores321 what were the consequences? @Roy OK. You are right about premature conclusions but I don't agree on principles. Life has never been good to me although I never double crossed anybody or fucked another dudes girl.

I don't know anything about you? I read a lot of your comments, and your success with girls, I have seen your picture in the member's picture topic. What more do I need to know to make conclusions? I'm not saying I shouldn't have principles. Perhaps my principles are different from your principles. Perhaps not everybody had the opportunities and privileges you have/had.

yes, just 1 per day

You get a lot of girls so you can have "morals" and be on your pedestal, but for the hustler with average looks, every lead counts.

Thank you so much for this advice. I get what you are saying but it is hard to implement. Especially when this neediness is so deep rooted. If you are interested you can read my approaches from today: see the last post

In the weekend I always do a 10+ streak. I'm just back. I spend 4 hours doing 13+ approaches. I'm tired. I kept pushing until I had a breakthrough in insight. It is very easy to do 3 approaches and call it a day. Not today. I said I would do 10 approaches so I did that. And first of all I want to congratulate myself on that. Secondly, I'm going through a hard time. These approaches are bringing up stuff and as I said earlier pickup is as much internal as external. The lessons learned are as important as the goodies that pickup bring to the table. Today I got stuck on a plateau. There were some nice moments but definitely some not so nice moments. A dude doing pickup is like a kid playing in the sand How was I when I was a kid in kindergarten? I remember that my teachers and parents told me I should learn how to play with kids because I couldn't play with them. I don't remember myself back then but I definitely wasn't a healthy kid. I grew up in a very abusive environment so playing was not natural to me, conflict was natural to me. Playing requires letting go, letting go of outcome, and just enjoying the moment. Today I noticed that I'm very outcome focused. Even when I'm not outcome focused and I have some nice connection; I always ruin it by being so anal about the outcome and exercising control, girls don't like that. Today I did a lot of approaches and I found out the hard way. I'm not sad I did a streak today. It was necessary to get tons of reference experience to see the pattern. I always mess up because I'm stuck at pride, anger, desire and fear. Because of the lack of consciousness, I'm not even aware that I'm stuck on that level and I can't let go. The lesson is to be aware at what level I'm stuck and today it became very apparent I'm especially stuck at pride when a girl shows slight interest in me. I ruined my chances with a really hot timid blond girl who was an elementary school teacher. Girls are so fragile; forcing doesn't work with girls. It is about AWARENESS of my current state and LETTING GO. I think freedom of outcome where PUA's talk about is is about this. Compliments from her are nice but it doesn't drop her panties I got a lot of compliments from girls for approaching. They say it was refreshing and more guys should do this. Even very stunning girls don't get approached in my country apparently. Approaching from the heart (something I explain in earlier posts) do make her more open; because when I open the girls start opening too. So getting compliments from girls today was definitely welcomed but it didn't get me anything. Most of them had bfs waiting around the corner or at home. First time I approached a set of girls I found out that solo girls standing in front of a shop are usually waiting for boyfriends or shit so I thought girls who walk in set are probably single because they don't walk with their bf but with girlfriends. So I approached a 3 set. First time I did this (I haven't even approached a 2 set in my life). These 3 girls had boyfriends but they were super nice. I vibed with them really good. Summary The day started very grumpy. I was very outcome focused in the beginning. I wanted to stop but I kept pushing. At a certain moment I realised what the problem was: I was outcome focused instead of having outcome independence. Before coming to this insight there was a lot of sadness, frustration and eventual anger. When the elementary school teacher rejected me that was the last drop. I talked to her for like 15 minutes, and she was all into me, but she wasn't sure about me, she thought like 30-40 seconds whether she would give my number to me but then I got pushy and needy and she said no! It was such a painful lesson!! But a lesson well learned! Letting GO (of emotions and outcomes) is what I didn't do. Another notable conversation was with a blonde university student. Very smart, sexy and very kind. She psychoanalysed me and was exactly up to what I was doing: she gave a compliment for approaching her, she never gets approached, wtf? She had it all, big brains and a big heart. I could actual be in a state of "being" instead of "doing". She had a huge heart and she had brains and it didn't have to do much. She took 50% of the burden of conversation. I think she even healed me a little bit with her big heart because I was giving her a hard time when she didn't want to give her number (her boyfriend was around the corner, duh!). I discovered this at the very end but I was pushing to get her number. I know, I'm an idiot. This is what I mean. I need to go of this neediness. When a girl gives her finger, I literally take her arm and more. I need more what this girl has, a bigger heart, have morals and self respect. There are two other notable conversations, there was a brunette one who was very nice, gave me compliments, we walked and talked like 15 minutes. There was zero attachment from my side. I really tried to be. Unfortunately she had a bf and I really believe she does. The second girl was a red head with crop top, with her I totally let go of outcome and it was an amazing (!) conversation with a lot of fun, giggles and flirting. Unfortunately her bf was in the store and she was waiting for her bf. Normally I would just hate on girls but I really have a hard time doing this while there were so many girls who were nice to me. I just have to learn the game. Don't hate the players, don't hate the game, love the game! And I'm trying! But it is hard! The world is really my own reflection. That I what I learned. So when I hate others, I hate myself! When I love others, I love myself! I don't have to be perfect to get a gf. I'm seeing lots of dudes with gfs who are far from perfect. I just need to learn to play.

Strangle a kitten.

To use this model: I fit in the innocent, sage and explorer archetype, which is the "espiritual journey" quarter of this model. I almost lack in all other archetypes which is sad but true. For success in life I will need to develop in the "provide structure" quater. For girls I will need to develop in the "leave a mark" quarter. Being outlaw is good for getting one night stands. Magician is good to maintain personal power and not giving it away to the girl. Mastery is useful for knowing how to push her buttons, get logistics and laying pipe. "Connect to others" quarter is good for developing long term relationships and emotional connection. My point is that I need to break out of the innocent archetype that pursues safety. Inertia is not safety. Time is finite. Let's go. When I read my journal (which is in OneNote), I made tremendous advances in this area. Couple of months ago I wouldn't dare to do the things I'm doing right now. Unfortunately I got a lot of trauma on my plate and I still have a long way to go compared to other people who had childhoods with no trauma or little trauma. It is not fair, but I have to accept my karma. I have to face the music.

@Emerald it depends on what the girl is looking for: one night stand or long term relationship. Girls don't have one night stands with beta provider guys if they are not fun and don't let her juices flowing.