StarStruck

I want to become a programmer and I’m getting into mathematics. A lot of them are stage orange and I was thinking: are there stage yellow material on this topic?

I'm not happy with my progression. Desperate times require what?

Night game is a good mine but I have bad ears. It is not that I don’t hear sound. It is just too much noise and I can’t decipher what they say although I do hear them. I think this is just a genetic thing and I can’t change this. It is a big issue because sometimes I have to ask to repeat a message three times before I can hear it. I’m not considering stopping game but I’m annoyed. Do other people have this too and how you deal with it?

Is she aware that you are sharing her pics on this forum?

The lower stages are integrated into the higher stages so it is not black and white like that. The lower stage tactics can work on the higher, but not visa-versa.

@Jannes my highest dose was 250 ug lsd. I do have mdma.

@caesar13 why are you awestruck? Try it out for yourself. Find your love language and instead of giving yourself porn, give yourself love: it could be meditation, dancing, running, fight sport, mantra chanting, etc. Actually try out all those activities I mentioned, and see what fits for you. For me dancing and fight sport was the perfect combination. Fighting to release stress, and dancing to share love (having fun) with the opposite sex. Good luck.

I was thinking about popping 500ug lsd but I'm having second thoughts right now lol.. It will fuck me up guaranteed because I haven't taken anything for 2 months right now

Your vision is the work shop of your life. Changing your perception on a thing (porn) will change your vision, and that is how deep change is made. Stopping porn or anything else can't be done with willpower alone, it has to be done on the level of vision/perspective on porn. Just be mindful of what you hold in your mind's eye. Is it what you hold a taker mindset or a giver mindset? Porn is mostly a taker mindset, you take from the girl and she is not getting anything nor enjoying it. There is also little love. Porn addicts need love to heal themselves and they try to find it in lust. It will never satisfy their urge for love because lust and love can together but it is not the same thing. Addiction is overcompensation for something.

Can a near death experience make me understand death? I had one and I had the chance to look into the abyss, it is really hard to explain it.

Shine the light of your consciousness on the topic of your contemplation. When you are trying to force understanding it doesn't work most of the time.

The Serbian guy was like "NATO should have looked while we raped Albanians".. you can't expect a serious answer if a guy holds a position like that.

So what happened now?

Vibe (masculine boss energy or bully energy) is from the essence but appearance is important too. What I tried to say is that appearance doesn't save the day and that the determining factor is vibe. I think we agree on this point, we just formulate it in a different way. I'm back on the no-fap grind, that really brings out that beast mode naturally with sexual transmutation. I have a really hard time doing that. I usually focus on all the negatives and the positives are just footnotes of the story. I noticed that I look at this way not only at the world but at my self also. This is something I need to work on but it is so hard to change. My mother was especially negative all the time: I think I have it from her. I'm 1,5 years in, since last week I have a new therapist to mix things up and try new things. I felt like the last one was only scratching the service of my problems. Partly I'm the blame for it because I have a hard time accessing trauma energy.

If you have to re-ask what they were saying. I think I have those. I just have to do what Leo says: train my ears and learn to read lips better True. I shouldn't have used derogative words but I just couldn't find other words. Point is that my energy sucks, and my appearance is apparently not enough to overcompensate for low energy. I'm doing trauma work at the moment so that influences my energy. Perhaps I should take a brake and focus on myself. Yesterday I had a date with an absolute stunner and I just messed it up because of my energy.

Porn is low consciousness and it corrupts the brain and mind. One really has to be high consciousness to not get corrupted by it but even with high consciousness people we can see the corruption in the mind that manifests into their life. Sex suppose to be the ultimate reward for your body; your right to reproduce. If you trick your brain you win the jackpot by making it think you fuck the hottest girls around, your motivation will suffer. There are also lot of other downsides other than motivation. I mean, it is will proven what semen retention and sexual transmutation can do so I don't really get why there is such a porn debate on this forum.

I already have those but I have to remove them if I talk to somebody… it can become awkward sometime lol. My verbals still suck man. Last night I saw lesser looking short guys ripping it with entertaining verbal game. What are these guys talking about? I do get the initial attention but when I open my mouth I fuck it up lmao. A lot of times I just blank and don’t know what to say. that is what I basically do half of the time: read lips.

Girls usually flake few hours before the date... I keep radio silence until the day of the date, usually because I'm nervous and don't want to make any blunders. Today another girl flaked just few hours before the date.. do you think I should change my approach? Am I not fluff texting enough or something? It is so annoying

It is easy to talk. I have heavy PTST and I've tried everything: most therapists are idiots and don't know how to treat people like me (people who have hard time accessing emotions). I find you very judgemental and non-undestanding. Desperate times require what? If I was a therapist I would be understanding. If it is a microdose nothing bad can happen. I'm not going to take a huge dose. MDMA is a better option indeed. Especially on a small dose. Damn, micro dose of magic truffels is another option for me. Thanks. Perhaps even better than MDMA or LSD. Which type of magic truffels do you recommend to come in touch with emotions? Most therapists don't know how to help me. They just don't understand why I can't access my emotions. I did some self-study on the topic and it is just lack of focus and automatic pilot that keeps me dissociating. Currently I'm doing a lot of meditation and concentration exercises and that helps me to stay present, connected to my body and emotions. Problem is that there are a lot of trauma energy coming up and fucking me up bad. I don't know how to process it so I end up masturbating to self-medicate. Soon I will have a different therapist and I won't take psychedelics without getting to know her and such.

2Cb might be another option. Probably won't do more than 100 mg now I think about it. Not much can happen at that dose. it is legal to use in my country. I have a hard time reaching my emotions, I need that pop to feel something.

I have a new therapist so I'm reluctant to do it but with my old one I would definitely do it. Psychedelics is medicine. I'm not obliged to tell her what medicine I take just like I'm not obliged to tell her what I eat. Desperate times requires what?

@Vercingetorix Have you already been on dates from your first number closes?

Interested to hear your answers.

@aurum I had to think about this and I guess I have a hole in my heart and I want her to be my surrogate. If I want her to be that I should offer her a good deal, and currently I still have some traumas and I'm somewhat clingly; that makes my vibe off. Lately I discovered how important vibe is. I'm really investing time into letting go of negativity, karma and ego so I can be more in the now, more fun and connect better with the other. From my observations, a girl will put up with a lot, if the guy's vibe is good. All this time I betted on the wrong horse. There is really some truth in the saying girls just want to have fun. Offering good vibes is probably the single most important thing one can offer in casual dating.

Sometimes I really get happy if a conversation goes well. Especially now since I was out of the game for couple of months. You can really see it on my face. I recognized a pattern though: The couple of few approaches went really well but when I show that I’m “winning” by smiling (or lighting up) , I see women hooking off, cutting the conversation short or telling me they “have a bf”. Why is this? Should I hide this happy feeling when a conversation goes well? In pickup they say “make her feel like she is winning, don’t make her feel you are winning”. I think this right but I don’t understand why they are like this. I feel like I can’t be myself and I have to turn in an asshole to get some fucking slack. I’m doing well right now but it still frustrates me.