StarStruck

I have a lot of ego defences because of my past. My last therapist couldn't deal with my "being stuck in my head", I hope this one will.

I'm reading books to understand myself better. Spirituality books is about learning to know oneself. For me it is not about the amount of books I read but what I get out from them.

Fans got disappointed by the quality of the game: "did we wait 10 years for this?" and they are right.. but probably it is beta so it doesn't say much.

You hit the nail on the head. That is another problem I have: accessing my emotions like fear, pain, hopelessness, and so on. I don't even know how to face my shadow. I will have to read more theory about shadow to understand that I guess. Fictional books are too damn long for me. If I "read" them I will listen the audiobooks. I only read knowledge books pretty much.

Those numbers are too big to be defensive. He is hell-bent on making Ukraine his death sentence.

If you have an ereader you can easily read a book a day. If it is a new topic it is a different story but if you already have knowledge about the subject it is a matter of connecting the dots, making highlights and pumping knowledge.

@KH2 it doesn't matter if Russia wins the battle of Ukraine or not. He doesn't have support for a major push. Russians don't want to die there; currently Russia is sending all the minorities, bums and criminals to fight in Ukraine. Soon those will run out, Russia has only such much cannon fodder for the meat grinder. The war is the war of attrition. Russia's economy is bound to go belly up and the economic shock wave will shake the Russian federation. The Russian military will be forced to pull back (similar to what happened in WW1). It is so weird that history repeats itself. If you know WW1 you already know what is going to happen to the Russian Federation and to Putin.

Sex and poop jokes always do well

According to Leo reality is based on nothing. On this forum we don't have to pretend otherwise.

@RSS how did you open your kundalini?

That is why I can say what I want, this is not a scientific forum where everything has to be proven by double blind studies ?

Being a beta orbiter won't get you what you want. It is nice that you are nice to her (being friends is being nice for being nice) but it sounds to me like you are nice to her to get something from her: sex, intimacy and other things. She can't read your mind. You basically have to play open deck with her and tell her what you told us in this thread and hope for the best. Because if you have beta orbited her for a while she might have forgotten you have a dick. The best strategy would be to not tell her out of the blue, but build it up with small indirect remarks that you like her.

Try it out.. see you in couple of years

If you eat healthy and exercise your body won't be that different in your 30'ies compared to your 20'ies. But if you eat shit, don't exercise regularly, do psychdelics too much, it will mess up your metabolism, and as a result you will age weirdly. More important it is important to stay young of spirit and heart. You can have your physique down but if you lost your spiritual fountain of youth, girls won't feel attracted to you unless you have massive wealth or status.

dayum, but that is not stage yellow, bro That is why I'm doing it for: discipline. Fighting sport even helps with spiritual development. Pain threshold gets up. You get a go-getter mindset. And you learn to fight instead of being a bum. Fighting even helps with surrendering (through discipline) which is important for meditation and spiritual development. If you already have a strong magician archetype, it will work wonderfully with the warrior archetype. At this gym they give jiuijitsu, MMA and kickbox. So every week I will do something different. No way I'm doing kickbox every week. Teach me your horrible ways.

I want to do it for gaining fitness, developing a fighting spirit and winner mindset. In the past I had this: I have experience with boxing for a year but that was some time ago. I want to go back to gain those three things again. I'm somebody who stays in his comfort zone a lot so last week I tried a boxing lesson again. It definitely made me tougher, gave me confidence, gave me a taste of the fighting spirit. Those are the upsides, the downsides were that I received quite a lot of punches to the head. It was just training but those guys don't hold back. Do you think it is worth it?

Fighting sport is an excellent way to develop the warrior archetype (warrior spirit). After 1 session I already carry myself different. Putting yourself to hardships brings you injury but injury brings you character. You just have to be careful that it won't be chronic lasting injury. It is the person you become at the end. If you are into boxing, not only your capacity to defend yourself will increase, it will influence other aspects of your life, because the warrior archetype is connected to the Self. Especially weasely guys will do good to take some boxing classes, and those are exactly the guys who will weasel out. The thing is that once you do some fighting sport the chances of you getting in a fight is much smaller. People just don't fuck with you if they know you can cause destruction onto them. To bring peace, prepare for war. Only high conscious stage yellow chads will understand that.

I'm considering popping 100-200 lsd before going to my weekly therapist. Without informing her. In my country using psychedelics is not illegal so I'm not putting myself in danger. The reason why I want to try psychedelics is that I feel like I'm stuck up, all up in my head and not in my body; psychedelics would shake things up for the better. I was wondering if there are people with experience taking psychedelics during therapy?

So it is my second week with her and I felt comfortable telling her about psychedelics and the science behind it. Strangely enough she wasn't dismissive about psychedelics and why I take it: to connect to my feelings. Next week I might hint at popping a microdose of psychedelics before a therapy session and see how she reacts. Obviously she is not going to encourage it. It will be against the code of conduct of a therapist so I have to be careful how I bring it. Before micro-dosing for therapy, I still want to pop a mother load of LSD (like 300-400ud) for an individual session with myself before messing up my tolerance to microdosing for therapy though.

Where do you find those? On venus?

There is one 1 that didn't hold back. All the other guys were sympathetic towards me and careful to me as a beginner. I'm not a total beginner though: I have experience with fighting sports. All the gyms are the same though, there are always few pricks that don't hold back or want to show off to beginners or to their peers. I wouldn't turn pro anyway. Boxing class is like this: 40 minutes drilling and exercises 20 minutes sparring.. and I got roughed up in the last 20 minutes. At this gym, they also give MMA and BJJ which is more wrestling and not punching and kicking. I was thinking: doing boxing/kickboxing one week per month and those other times of the month MMA and BJJ I'm also dancing to develop my soft side. To develop my hard side I want to fight. You have a big nose then?

This year I only took psychedelics a few times.. Last year also. Major issue with psychedelics is that I have a hard time stopping with thinking during the trip. I've MDMA and the first time was amazing. I felt like I discovered the fountain of youth (I was also doing sexual transmutation during that time), but the second and third time was meh. I read that this is common. Microdosing is something I want to try again in conjuction with therapy.

For a girl, being with a shameless swine is more fun than being with a zombie. If you look at it from the female perspective, it makes sense. For the female, their emotions are everything. So if you are boring, you are out and about.

Night game is all about self-entertainment and being a shameless swine.

1-2 years: demons of my past are hunting me. I was 2 weeks in a trauma centrum and that was some help but little.