Raptorsin7

I just did a 90 minute float in an isolation tank, and when i brought my attention to the present set of emotions/feelings and tried to let go, I found there so much tension in the present moment and i just couldn't let it go. I tried to say to myself "let it go" and then see what happens, but i just felt like I was aware of the fact that i clearly have not let go fully, and yet i have no idea how to let go further.

@Light Lover My diet is terrible, i eat a lot of fast food and don't eat a lot of vegetables. But i do a lot of yoga and meditation, so i'm curious how much progress i can make without cleaning up my diet. That said, i don't have great energy throughout the day, and my mood isn't always as good as i feel it could be. So it could be my diet is hurting me in ways i'm not fully conscious of haha.

Has anyone experienced a link between self-inquiry meditation and increased nausea and motion sickness. Recently i've had pretty bad motion sickness from riding the bus to school, and i'm thinking it might be related to doing self inquiry meditation where i try to turn attention basically to my eyes/behind my head and it usually gives me a weird headache. My diet also sucks so i'm thinking it's probably that but i'm curious if any other people have had this experience meditating.

@Nahm Ok

I just did a 45 minutes of self inquiry and i felt like was close to seeing how my self is a just another set emotions/feelings that i'm aware of in each moment, but when i realized i might be close to awakening i started to wonder if awakening even felt that good or if it will be super scary and i won't actually like what i find. Anyone else go through something similar on their spiritual journey?

I have been black sliding for the past 4 or 5 days. For example, i've been eating a lot of junk food, i've stopped waking up early and going to yoga, i'm spending hours just mindlessly surfing the web, etc. I'm still meditating and i haven't gone completely off the rails in my life, but it's definitively not where i want to be. Any tips for recovering from a black slide? A big problem right now is that i feel like shit so i eat shit food which then makes me feel even worse.

@Nahm No, when i close my eyes and then start moving my head, "I" am aware of the movement of the head. It's like im watching it from the inside of my eyes. I was under the impression that awakening will occur spontaneously at some point during concentration on the self, or what ever my awareness goes to whenever i try to shine my attention on what 'I' think i am. It seems like you're trying to get me to some logical understanding that all the things i think of as me aren't actually me. Do you think if i truly understood your questions and @zeroISinfinity 's question that it would produce an awakening. I don't know how to interpret your advice tbh...

@zeroISinfinity But the mind can be afraid during the waiting, and this will prevent the one from truly revealing itself?

@Nahm When i close my eyes and move my head around, I am that which is watching the head move around. But, when i look for the watcher i don't find anything. I feel like im close to awareness moving off "me" and moving into the world but idk

@Meditationdude Hey, the backslide actually started before i smoked weed. I was hadn't smoked in over 2 months, and ive been backsliding for about 5 days, and only 2 days ago i started smoking again. But i agree that weed + back slide can be a disaster if im not careful. I think im going to limit weed to only when i do the float tank, so maybe 1 or 2 times a week

"When we hit our lowest point we are open to the greatest change" It's from the avatar the legend of korra tv series. I've actually found truth in it in my own life, the happiest i've ever been was right after i overcame a year long depressive episode that ended with me applying some self help techniques and producing life changing results. Just wanted to share it (:

Hey guys here's an excerpt from my self-actualization blog i want to share with you guys. I don't if it's appropriate to double post like this so mods feel free to shut it down or let me know how that works. Tonight i smoked weed and spent 90 minutes in the float tank. I came out with some insights, i'm nervous i won't be able to apply them because i'm in a rut right now, but we will see. List of insights I have a formula for improving my life based on principles from the book "Psycho-Cybernetics" combined with moment to moment mindfulness. Set a goal with your thoughts, to overcome some worldly issue you are dealing with. For example, right now i need to clean my apartment but i've been procrastinating. After you deposit the goal, you must let go to the moment, and let your body and mind go to work to accomplish the goal; use mindfulness to prevent getting lost in thought and just let your self do the work, all the while being mindful of the moment and trying to see when you have fallen off track. Repeat until the goal is accomplished, have faith YOU will find a way to make it happen and trust your instincts about how to solve the problem. I believe this method will work when applied to any immediate or feasible long term goal, as long as it is consistently applied so as to build momentum in one's life. I see a lot of people on this forum skeptical about the benefits of weed with meditation and self inquiry. I don't know if this bias is based on their own negative experiences with weed and stoners, or if they recognize some fundamental flaw in the substance that prevents from it being effective for self actualization work. I was told to judge something by the fruit it bears, so i will begin to incorporate weed into my self-actualization work, like meditation, and judge the results for myself.

@fortifyacacia3 So just surrender to the moment each time i recognize i'm in a funk? Is my backslide an inversion ritual like the purge?

@fortifyacacia3 @EternalForest I recommend not showing any critiques of rationalism or the orange paradigm. I am very much an orange minded person, and although i agree with Leo on the limits of rationalism with respect to spiritual development/self-actualization work, those kinds of videos are annoying and not really effective at convincing people in deep orange (i could be wrong). I would recommend videos about happiness or self-development, because your "objective-minded friend" is much more likely to resonate to with videos that can show him some near term benefit.

I've also been watching a bunch of political youtubers i hate because it's stimulating. I find a lot of my toxic habits surface when i procrastinate doing stuff i know i should be doing. In this case i know i should be working out, eating healthy, and studying at the library instead of at home.

@Galyna im jk lol (:

@Galyna Apology not accepted. We are doing high level self-actualization work here, and i don't like having to spend precious time answering mistakes like this...

@Galyna Lol wrong forum post i think (:

@Meditationdude Do you use a vape where you load the weed into the vape? Also, why no joints?

Tonight i smoked weed and spent 90 minutes in the float tank. I came out with some insights, i'm nervous i won't be able to apply them because i'm in a rut right now, but we will see. List of insights I have a formula for improving my life based on principles from the book "Psycho-Cybernetics" combined with moment to moment mindfulness. Set a goal with your thoughts, to overcome some worldly issue you are dealing with. For example, right now i need to clean my apartment but i've been procrastinating. After you deposit the goal, you must let go to the moment, and let your body and mind go to work to accomplish the goal; use mindfulness to prevent getting lost in thought and just let your self do the work, all the while being mindful of the moment and trying to see when you have fallen off track. Repeat until the goal is accomplished, have faith YOU will find a way to make it happen and trust your instincts about how to solve the problem. I believe this method will work when applied to any immediate or feasible long term goal, as long as it is consistently applied so as to build momentum in one's life. I see a lot of people on this forum skeptical about the benefits of weed with meditation and self inquiry. I don't know if this bias is based on their own negative experiences with weed and stoners, or if they recognize some fundamental flaw in the substance that prevents from being effective for self actualization work. I was told to judge something by the fruit it bears, so i will begin to incorporate weed into my self-actualization work, like meditation, and judge the results for myself.

Still backsliding hard, i'm aware i'm in a rut but i'm too comfortable to push out of this. Two biggest problems right now are my poor diet, and over use of the internet. I realize no matter how much concentration practice or self inquiry I do, if i'm spending my other time just mindlessly surfing the internet then i won't make progress in my life. I've been slacking on my readings for school too, i definitely need to get on top of this stuff. So far school has been a great time though, i've had more fun and met more people in the first month of law school then i did over the entirety of my undergrad. But, i need to be better at cleaning up these simple bad habits that are subtle but definitely super toxic. Junk food, internet addiction, fapping, and poor study habits all need to be corrected. Tomorrow, i will wake up and do yoga and catch up on studying. I need to better. I really want my journal to be about growth and the barriers in my life i'm knocking down, but right now i'm stuck in the sand i need to get out asap.

Good luck man, go make it happen!

How do you go from a person who wants to self improve, but does not have momentum on the path for whatever reason, to a person who is motivated and firmly on the path to improving them-self day after day. How do you bridge that gap?

@abrakamowse Don't have much to contribute, i just really like the way you go about interacting with people. You seem like a really good person haha (:

I'm skeptical about this whole enterprise of super powers. Do you have concrete proof that would satisfy a rational skeptic or is more of a you need to experience to believe it and it doesn't necessarily fit into conventional understanding of powers?