Raptorsin7

@Nickyy You are off bro. You're basically saying mistakes made in the past will haunt you forever and people will always judge you for it. That's your thought story. That's true for YOU. If i was in a business deal and some guy told me he spent 3 years in law school knowing he was never going to use it compared to a person who dropped out after the first semester and did something productive for the next years, I would respect the guy who had the balls to drop out. But in either case it wouldn't be determinant in how i judge them in the present. If the guy shows up late and doesn't know what he's talking about and he has a college degree who gives a fuck. I laugh at the guy who "respects" the idiot who sticks out a 3 year degree knowing he's going to end up in the exact same place business wise in 3 years as he would if he just dropped out today. But i'm the idiot too because i'm probably not going to drop out. I'm going to just stick it out, and i'll be fine for it. Either way i'm going to be fine. It's just frustrating because I know what the right decision is but everyone in my fucking life is a fucking idiot and can't see it.

@Key Elements Thanks for the posts. I will definitely check out your LP thread and try and make some contributions.

@Angelite lol fair enough that was definitely my projection.

@Angelite You think people on this forum are engaging in devilry by speaking of god and truth in a context that completely excludes and bypasses islam?

@Nickyy The most important thing to anyone in a business context is can this person help me. When i reach a point where someone judges as to whether they want to work with me or not they will assess me as a person. If they look at me and say wow i really like this guy, but he dropped out of law school so i can't work with him. If only he just stayed in law school and proved his metal by getting a piece of paper that is completely useless unless you actually want to practice law. Anyone with that kind of thought process is an idiot and I hope i never work for someone that stupid. Life is momentum. People go up and down. In business you want to find people on the same path and momentum as you. You can tell a flake from a mile away by the way they talk and their level of preparedness. If i drop out of law school but i show up to the business meeting and know what the fuck i'm talking about then that is what matters. That is a fair point. I had those thoughts early in the semester too. I thought i would overcome the challenge of law school and then make the decision from a position of strength. But right now it's like i used to be a drug addict and i bought all these drugs and i was so excited to just fucking do all the drugs. But then i realized i don't want to do drugs anymore and maybe i should do something else. But then people are saying hey man you already bought all the drugs why don't you just finish them. Most people will look down on you if you don't finish the drugs. Even though most people are fucking idiots. People who are actively judging you for a purpose other than trying to improve the world or themselves are fucking idiots. When i say negativity can be transcended i mean no matter what decision you make your life will turn out fine. If i stay in school eventually my life will be fine because at some point i'm going to have to bite the bullet and do something that completely uproots my current life. Growth requires pain and change. If i drop out tmrw my life is going to be just fine. It might hurt but life doesn't depend on anything. I can literally do whatever i want and i'll be fine. That's why this is distressing me so much, I know it's the right decision to drop out. If someone told me i had 3 years to live, you think i'd fucking spend it in law school? That's a fucking no brainer. But everyone in my life is telling me to stay. And i know they're all fucking idiots because I can see what drives them and it's all bullshit.

Yes and No. Right now i'm having everything paid for because i'm in law school. Apartment, food, yoga, etc. But if i drop out i would just go live at home, and start working. There's nothing I NEED that i spend money. The vast majority of my expenses come from eating out every day for basically every meal, and that wouldn't be the case if i lived at home. I told them already i don't want to do this. I told them i have 0 intention of practicing law. They said finish it anyway. But i think they are hoping i'm going to change my mind. When i graduate they will just say, work for a year or two and then reassess. They will always move the goal post.

@Nickyy It's harsh until it isn't. Any negative feeling can be transcended, that's the whole point of this work. If the reason for staying in school is because you will regret in the future then that's fucking nonsense. I'm either going to reach a place of contentment and satisfaction or I won't. Everything i'm going through right now will literally mean nothing in 5 or 10 or 15 years. I'm just delaying the pain for some future time. At some point i'm going to have trust my gut and go for it, and accept the criticsm and shame from going an alternative path.

@Nickyy That is t I have 2.5 years left, this is my first semester. The cost of dropping out is only social stigma and my parent's disappointment and the disappointment in myself for giving up. The costs of staying on is i just don't like it, and i feel like i'm wasting my time. If i was working 4 days a week doing a random job and then doing what i'm doing now, meditation, yoga, looking up online business' id be much happier, i think but i don't really know tbh. What are these benefits of finishing? I finished my undergrad degree after failing a year from depression, it literally doesn't mean shit. Well i learned a lot about science which is nice, but i knew 90 % of it from high school science. Always end in a positive way is just a thought story you tell yourself. I could just as easily say follow your heart's desires and it could contradict what you just said. Enlightenment work makes a mockery of all this bull shit, and I feel like i'm trapped between the old me and the new me.

@Nickyy I'll just go over what i'm feeling. Right now i'm really hating law school, I know i don't want to be a lawyer and it's tough to get motivated to do the work. I told my family and they were very uncomfortable with this they want to me finish the year then reassess. There main concern is that they don't want me to be a loser and they think law is great, but they are very unconscious people who just don't understand what i'm feeling. I feel like i'm making so much spiritual progress but i also feel kind of depressed right now because of my situation.

@Nickyy Yea i have a close friend who i can talk to this about. He lives in my home city and right now i'm away from school, but when i go back in a few weeks i'll talk to him about this stuff and see what he thinks.

Science is always growing. It's pretty naive to say science will NEVER be able to address self love and the true self. But right now it's limited and you should recognize it's limits.

Im getting coaching from Nahm. i trust him i think he knows what hes talking about.

@Nickyy i'm going to start working with a life coach i think thats where ill have to iron this stuff out. I don't feel comfortable sharing this stuff fully with anyone in my life.

@Nickyy My family doesn't understand this stuff. If i told them i wanted to drop out of school and pursue financial freedom they would think im nuts and resist it. This is the place i go to pursue this kind of work. I think its a good plan. Idk if other people's opinions should matter

@Nickyy Yes, when i find what i'm looking for i will use what you said to guide my life purpose. My plan right now is as follows: 1. Find some stable happiness from enlightenment work, where i'm no longer seeking and can honestly say i enjoy my life. 2. Exercise extreme discipline to start an online business and achieve an income that will allow me to be financially free, and then I can decide if i want to drop out of law school or just stick it out like my family wants me to. 3. Enjoy my new found financial freedom a little bit. Go on vacations, go on meditation retreats, just enjoy materialistic pleasures. 4. Help people on actualized.org like people here have helped me. Maybe do some free coaching for people who are seeking hard like i am now. 5. Go after life purpose no matter how scary it is.

@Nickyy Even when i stop seeking for a moment, i just get lost in the story of my life over and over again. There is no stable peace. Moments, maybe but even then any moment of peace is just lost to the next moment over and over again.

@Serotoninluv The deep all encompassing happiness is what i'm after. Not necessarily the peak experience of joy, bliss etc. I think of it like if you could go meta and observe your life from somewhere else, is the totality of your experience happiness. Are you living a good life? Of course if you are mid yoga and your body is throbbing you may not be "happy", but this all part of your happy life. I don't like going into theory too much because i feel like the truth i'm seeking is the opposite of theory, i guess i'm just hoping someone will say something that clicks and produces a change in me. But i just gotta keep going.

@Nickyy So you are done seeking?

@Nickyy I can only really get to the highest states after yoga, weed, and meditation. Otherwise thinking is more deluded, and i don't really feel present. How often in your day are you in this state of just being compared, to wanted, desiring, suffering etc?

@Serotoninluv Can you access that state any time or does it come and go now?

@Serotoninluv I have no idea. I just know it can't be anywhere other than direct experience because that's all that ever exists. I've been happier in my life before but it's all been based on external events. I've never just sat and been happy for no reason. That's what i'm going for now.

@Tanz If you were billionaire how would you solve america's problems?

@Nickyy I'll think about it and get back to you. Right now nothing comes to mind.

@Nickyy I don't know what i could do today that would make me happy if i died. There's an entire range of experiences i haven't even sampled yet, i'm not enlightened. Happiness isn't anywhere but right here, i just need to access it consistently.

@Angelite What are you careful about speaking up on?