Raptorsin7

I just did a micro dose of like half a tab of LSD. Man I do not feel good. I also did like 3 hours in the float tank this morning. LOL. i do everything to feel good, literally my entire life right now is just be doing shit to feel good and I don't even feel good, what a cosmic joke this is. I'm doing it to myself. I create my own suffering. So there's something happening right now in experience that is causing me to not feel good. But what is it? The relationship between thought/thinking and feeling. The truth is that it's all good. Reality is already all good. So i have everything I already want or need because it's only ever me, and myself. Everything is occurring within the universe, or within myself I think. I worry about judgement from others. I judge others harshly, and i am always worried about judgement. I want to feel better, and that's all I care about. Even when i jduge others lmao itsbecaues i dont feel good. So i bring the other people into my thought story, and take it out on them. I'm using other people to make myself feel better. I don't like this dynamic. I want to feel good first. I want to satisfy this constant seeking to just feel better. I'm really getting sick of this fking game the ways its being played. I want to feel better first. I want to heal myself fully first. My life purpose stuff is coming slowly, but it's because i am purposely limiting myself, haha i'm a sneaky fucker. I know my personality is off, i'm too egotistical, too narcissistic, I am not acting like a good person. But when i start writing on my website i don't want any of this stuff, this is what im fking writing against. All of this shit is delusional. I konw becuase i am doing it right now, i'm engaging in the delusion. I just want to feel better, that's all ir eally care about. I bet other people want the same thing, they are just ashamed to admit it. Or this is just more of my own projection onto others. Dam the mind is crazy. Thank god I have family money, and no one can tell me shit. Right now i'm typing crazy madness, if someone readas this they will think i'm a psycho lol. I am actually very confident in my progress so far, but it' a lot to process. Everything i wrote above is just thought. That is negaitve thought. I know that shit aint true because it doesn't feel good lol. But man i still don't feel that great. That's another thought. I think i should try like a 20 minute nap/meditation.

@Nahm Wow I didn't realize that narcissism and self referential thinking is only a step above hatred. How do you relate to others? Like i am always judging, comparing, studying, analyzing etc. Is your view consistent across all people?

I do not feel good. How do I know this is true. When i actually listen, and try to feel what it is that's here, there's a peace in the feeling it's not bad at all. That's interesting so when I actually question this core belief, that I don't feel good, and i actually test it against reality it turns out it's not true. Hmm, so it appears that the zone is always here. The zone is MYSELF. When i find myself, that's the zone. If i could just BEMYSELF in every moment, then I would be in the zone. Because MYSELF, is the best I can do. But there are concerns. MYSELF is peaceful, but myself isn't pure bliss and ectsasy that I thought I was getting. I believe that the high of god is better than any drug ever invented. MYSELF should be better than everything, but even in this moment I could imagine my life better. I could imagine better feeling etc. If you gave me 1 billion dollars then I would be happier I think, I mean i assume it would make me feel better. There's no such thing as a true thought. Bring all thoughts to light no matter how fked up they are, and you will see that even though you believe them to be true, the truth is that the thoughts are not true. The zone can be tested. So my theory right now is that the zone is MYSELF, and when i am aware of myself i will be in the zone. MYSELF can handle any challenge. MYSELF is challenger caliber in league of legends. Because if not MYSELF, then who is? And when is? The only time you can ever have anything is right now, with MYSELF, and only MYSELF, there is only ever MYSELF. I need to start dumping more of my thoughts onto a journal. This was an excellent purge holy fuck. I feel clearer in my writing already. Lol. I have may have stumbled on something major here wow.

I am in the zone- On the dream board: Working out resistant thoughts to being in the zone: I feel irritable, restless, anxious therefore I am not in the zone I am not sure if this strategy by Nahm is going to work. I'm still not clear on this stuff. This seems to simple to get me in the zone. There must be something else. Dam this is rough. I just want the zone, but the zone is not coming to me. Man i'm bored. I just want to be happy and feel good, and feel the flow and the bliss of being in the zone. I am content with the moment. It's not what i want, but it's also not a bad state. I really hope I can get in the zone. I hope i can be in the flow and totally focused while playing. I just want to have fun. I want to play the game, have fun, win or lose, and just enjoy the experience. That's what I WANT. to just enjoy the experience. i really hope i can get there with video games, where i just play the game and I have fun playing the game. I hope I can feel good while playing, that would be so awesome. I believe I can feel good while playing games. I really believe that I can achieve complete focus and flow while playing. Just playing, having fun, and trying my best. I can do it. I can try my best, win or lose, and just be happy no matter what playing the game. I believe I can do it. Pure joy, playing the game for the joy I get from playing, nothing else. I believe I can find my joy playing the game. I can't wait until my next game. I am going to be in the zone. I am going to try my best. I am going to just play. Win or lose. I just want to play the game. I'm going to mute my entire team and just play the game. That's what i want to just focus and play the game. I can do that. I can play, and when I recognize resistance I can just let that resistance go while playing. I can free myself one breathe at at ime while playing. I love playing. I'm so grateful I get to play video games for a living. Like i'm fucking practicing gaming, and thats my job lmao. I am going to make millions of dollars just playing the game, and writing my opinons about life. WHat a fucking joke lol. What an amazing life. I am so lucky to be here right now. Thank you god for making all this possible. Thank you world. Thank you universe. Holy fuck i get to play games and have incredible amounts of fun and joy just playing the game. Thats what my life is now. Just fucking play. Wow. Blows me away. Still kinda in disbelief about all of this stuff. Went from atheist to agnostic to dogmatic follower, now i found it. I found happiness woot woot. I can't wait to play the game. Gaming is awesome so much potentail for joy and love in gaming.

I am wasting time. I want to climb in league. But i am just so distracted right now. I know my focus isn't where I need it to be. But what can i do. I am going to shower, smoke weed, and then meditate for 30 minutes in my bed. Then I will game. Let's see how this goes. I will report back later and see if this workeD @Nahm @zeroISinfinity What is the best way to use the journal? Do I write what i'm feeling, like describe the emotion? Should i just write out stream of consciuosness and hope that makes me feel better? I want god, i want to feel good. Right now i'm disconnected. Should i just write how much i want to feel good? I want to use journal to 100% efficiency and optimization. I want to be like a super functional robot THAT FEELs happy and peace.

The truth is all good. So when we have any thought, perspective, etc that is not all good, like there's even 1% doubt in this perspective. Then we should let it go because the truth is that reality is all good, so when we choose something that's not all good then we know we fked up so it's time to pick another thought, find another way. @LfcCharlie4 thanks a lot. Yeah i want happiness, bliss is just the best i tasted so far so I thought that was the best thing to pursue. But i want to cut the shit. I just want to be happy. I've tasted it in moments in my life, now i want to live with it. I'm so thankful for my life purpose. I can't believe i'm going to make millions of dollars just playing games. I was fucking doing this anyways, I wuold play games like 10 plus hours per day but no one paid for me it. Now i'm getting paid doing something I would do free lmao, awakening is too fucking good. So overpowered in life. It's like I found a fucking cheat code to existence. @zeroISinfinity thanks man. I understand what you're saying i just gotta spend more time as MYSELF. i get dragged into thinking, distraction etc so often. But at least i found myself now so I know where happiness is. How long you think it will take me to be in god state for pro longed period, i really want that state for video games. Right now i get distracted too much. Is 1 hour of meditation enough you think? Just do that before i play?

@Thittato Do you get in the zone when you meditate? If so how long does it take you?

@Mongu9719 He doesn't understand them. Don't listen to opinions on psychs from clowns like this who never tried them.

@wk197 I am all in on enlightenment etc, and even I still have doubts on astrology. But i have no direct experience with it so really I have no idea. Be careful about judging something and labeling it as "bad", without direct experience of the thing. People do that with god and enlightenment, and they are missing the greatest joy that you could possibly have on earth based on the their false judgement.

Don't listen to @VeganAwake. Life purpose is awesome and helping people is great. You preach against the spiritual ego, yet you have the biggest one on the forum lmao.

How do i enter a flow state. Man this question is driving me nuts. I know the state is the key to my business, but I just can't get it. Is the flow state what happens when you cease thiinking, and just feel? No, this can't be it. There has to be more. I feel my third eye popping like crazy, it feels like I'm on LSD but i'm not on LSD lol. This is great stuff. I never really imagined that the end game would be there is no difference between being high on lsd and not high. But that seems to be the direction i'm trending. I want flow. I want flow. I want flow. I want bliss. I know when the eye fully cracks there will be a bunch of bliss and good stuff waiting for me. I remember my last awakening everythign just made sense, and I felt incredible. 10/10 WOULD defintely try that again. Moving forward i'm going to just dump my mind into this journal. No more filter. I want to live in a state where i'm virtually never thinking unless i have to and it's got a clear purpose. The automaticity of my thinking needs to end. I wonder when i'll start writing. I'm thinking when i hit challenger because i'm improving so fast in league it's crazy. I can do an initial like 20 article road to challenger series. Should be good enough to release the website with. Plus my own guided meditation.

@DrewNows Read my original post, I know i'm not getting cancer prescisely because i'm aware of the other half that modern medicine hasn't uncovered yet. But my only issue was with @pluto's dismissal of modern medicine. It was unnecessary.

@DrewNows You don't know shit about what I know. If @pluto or you were so confident go make money, run tests, and prove what you're talking about. You guys are just talking shit. Go prove it. If god is so good then the results will show it.

@TrynaBeTurquoise Yeah i don't disagree with any of that. The world's fucked, and we need to make changes. But @pluto was talking about modern medicine like it's completely useless. If i got cancer I would go to modern medicine first before an alternative healer. If alternative medicine is better for cancer then modern medicine then the research will show that. Granted, I doubt i'll ever get cancer because i'm on the path, but still if someone asked me for advice and they were a rando, I wouldn't just dismiss modern medicine.

@Nahm Shameless plug lol. @BETGR164128 That thread he posted above changed my life.

@pluto Modern medicine is not ALL bad dude. Yes, there are problems. But to be dogmatic and dismiss the entire industry is foolish.

I am a challenger level adc. I've realized that I need to go the next part of the path mostly alone. When i speak confidently to my friends I can tell it makes them uncomfortable and mad. I can climb the highest from here if i climb alone. The next step in my path is to get challenger in league of legends. Once i'm challenger then i will gain respect in the gaming community, and they will be forced to hear my message. I will be so good they can't ignore me. I am going to be play a lot of league of legends in the near future until i'm challenger. Most likely like 10 plus hours per day. I want to start a morning routine that helps me get into a flow state. That's the next part of the path, mastery of flow states.

@dimitri Yeah this thread changed my life. Starting the dream board sparked self transcendence for me. I remember @Nahm said I did the hardest part just by buying a board, and writing my wants on it. It's true.

@LfcCharlie4 Very nice post man.

@electroBeam I found god on LSD. So LSD lol. I think if you're going to talk about spiritual technology it would be a good idea to give a description of the technology, and how different people use that specific technology to their benefit. Like for me i had 2 big LSD trips in the last month. But they were completely different. Like one was a "bad" trip, but it motivated me to change habits. Then the second trip i found god. So if you can give a description of common outcomes, along with the tech, it could make it more relatable to people. I second @cetus56. Float tanks combined with affirmations for me was huge.

@Anna1 All human beings can awaken, and reach a point where they don't need drugs, conditions, labels etc. But this is my belief. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. I got self realization on LSD. I had been meditating for 3 years, and I realized I was not even close without LSD. People with serious mental illnesses can eventually get off meds if they do the sufficient work, practices, etc. I don't believe in life long illnesses.

@Anna1 I wouldn't recommend someone already on medication to try it. I would say wait until you can live comfortably without medication before you think about trying psychcs. Same with someone with history of psychosis. I would say give time to the point where you haven't had a psychotic episode in a long time, or you have been in remission from x mental disease, before you try them. When i was 19 i thought my hair was falling out and I would be bald like my dad. I went from straight A's in college to straight F's and I would spend 10 plus hours a day thinking about how much of a loser I would be because i'm going to be bald. I never went to a therapist etc, but i'm pretty sure I would have got a diagnois for some sort of mental illness because I was pretty crazy then. I could have said i'll never do psyhcs ever because It could cause me to go back to the psychosis like symptoms i had when I was 19. Good thing I didn't listen to that particular chain of thinking.

@Anna1 If you're not ready, then you're not ready and don't force yourself to do it. But i won't tell you that you can't do it because it's not true. Research others with your medical history who have tried the drugs. I bet they are out there.

@Anna1 I don't think everyone in the world should buy LSD and start dropping acid no. But I wouldn't be where i'm at on the path without the drugs. There's no question they were integral to my growth. Some people aren't ready and the trips would be too much. But many people are ready, they have just convinced themselves in thinking that they are not ready.

Not yet. But everyone can reach a point in their life where they can benefit from the drugs. There is no one on earth who cannot reach a point where they will benefit from using psychedelics