Raptorsin7

@JonasVE12 It's all about context. Maybe you want the roof. Maybe another person likes the rain. Enlightented people can do whatever the fuck they want because they are already whole and complete. Your situation there is because you assume one situation feels better than the other. When you're enlightened you will already feel amazing. Decision making isn't about what feels better at that point.

@JonasVE12 You're not done if you're still seeking a better state. One awakening isn't enough. The way to live the best life isn't through thinking about it, that's mistake number 1. Living with truth IS the best subjective experience possible. That's why i'm here anyway lol. If there's a better subjective experience then full embodiment of the truth then point in that direction.

@JonasVE12 As long as the big picture is enlightenment and the acknowledgment that eventually you will get off the drugs because your natural state will be soooo fucking good then you're all good. Weed isn't neurotoxic either, it's not like you're doing meth.

@TrynaBeTurquoise In my opinion the purpose of life is to feel good, be happy, and do your best in whatever you want to do. Does weed do all that for you? Are you better on weed or off weed. If you feel better on weed then keep doing it. Lol claiming what's wise and unwise is moralising. We are making about statements about what people ought to do. We are judging him and giving an opinion.

@DrewNows Do you eat or drink at all? What have been your gains from this lifestyle. What's different?

@BETGR164128 Debating is a poor way to convince people. You have to prove it to people. Best way to spread the word is to find something you're passionate about, hobby etc. Then use enlightenment work to master said subject. Then when people are like omg you are so good how you do it, boom you drop the truth.

@wk197 Have you ever read about the bubonic plague? There's a story of a doctor, i don't remember his name, he was treating people and he got the plague but he lived. There's a reason why some people live through this stuff and never get sick, and some people whither and die. You can be one of the people who doesn't fear the plague because you know it can't touch you. I have 0 fear of the virus. Fuck the virus. If i get infected I will fucking live through it. You can have this same confidence and ability.

@TrynaBeTurquoise If weed makes his life better then i'd say he keep doing it. There's nothing inherently wrong with anything. It's all how we use it. Before i awoke i was smoking weed and doing yoga like every night, in hindsite there was a better way to get the high, but it would be wrong for someone to say what I was doing was wrong because it's part of the causal chain of my awakening. OP if it feels good then do it.

@TrynaBeTurquoise Getting high is getting high. The diminishment has nothing to do with the substance, it's how we're using it. I'm not saying to get high on weed all the time. I'm saying you can find a way to live life where you are just naturally higher then any subtance will ever get you, because that is your default. If you already feel amazing, what's the point of weed, or any drug? If weed makes you feel better and you do better on it, then keep doing it. But realize that you can feel better on your own, you are creating your own reality. Weed is just 1 part of the equation

@TrynaBeTurquoise That's not true. You can be all the high all the time. Or at the very least you will be so smart that when you're not high, and you get pulled out, then you are smart enough to bring yourself back in. God is the ultimate high.

@ShardMare Is there anything in life that makes you feel good? It seems like you're getting clarity on the old way of living as not feeling good to you. Do you have any ideas on what you do want? If you could have anything what would you want?

How to best utilize thinking moving forward. Hmm.

@JonasVE12 Very nice lol. My goal is to be high all the time too. We are fucking gods. The high of enlightenment is the greatest high of all imo. We want to be our best, feel our best, and do our best in everything. Whatever gets us there is what gets us there. For me it was enlightenment. The trap is in seeking the high unconsciouslly. That's how you end up addicted to drugs on the street etc. But me a strategic mother fer going for the high and you will be all good. Bliss chasing is awesome, it's what i'm doing. Follow your bliss baby.

I have a head ache. Ow. I feel the sensation and pressure in my head. But when i bring awareness to the feeling, and I think that I want my head to feel better it does change. Chris Langdan is a cool guy. When i launch my website and get the infrastructure going, i'm going to take time and visit people in the world. I will make a list, but i will just start showing up and seeing people. Maybe i will go to belegrade but I think @zeroISinfinity may not want to see me lol. I will definitely go to michigan and see @Nahm. That will be a fun part of the path no doubt. I always liked air ports and travelling. I will get to travel around the world lol

How to best utilize thinking moving forward. Hmm. I want to see the best in others, and myself. I want the best for myself, which is also the best for the world. See the good in everyone, and everything. I want to feel good writing in my journal. I think that's the best way to use the journal. Use the journal in a way that feels good, I want to write stuff that makes me feel good. I am good. Soooo goood. I am so fucking good it's unbelievable. It's maddening lol.

@Endangered-EGO I think Sam is very yellow. No one is pure anything so it's a fools errrand trying to prove he's 100% yellow. But he's very concscious, he's just not turquoise yet. He's asking the right questions, he will get there eventually.

@dvdas I had an awakening on LSD that transformed my life. Was already deep on the path, but LSD was crucial. Saved me so much time, it's like a direct, silver bullet.

I am going to try and write form my intuition. I want to change the wTay i use this forum and this journal, and ultimately the way I love my life. Speaking from feeling, rather then thinking. Full trust in my intuition. Faith in the process. Trust in the higher power. It's time I took a break, and just let feeling do the work. It's no longe rwhat do I want to do, strategizing, thinking etc, no no no. It's time to feel my way thorugh the path. The thinking phase is over. If I never think again then so fucking be it, i'm okay with that. I want to live on instinct, i want to live based on how I feel, i want to be happy. I want to feel happy. I want to recognize resistance thoughts, and nip them in the but. Bad trips on LSD are valuable. Eventually there will be no bad trips becuase life will be heaven, so gotta savor them while I still got something to savor haha. Feeling bad is good because it shows us that we're thinking and creating and living in good ways. Thank god that my life has not been feeling good LOL. I want so much more out of life then what i'v ebeen getting. And as i do more good, i will feel better, and as i feel better i will do more good, and then I can help other people feel good too. That is my purpose noIw. To give back. It's no longer just about me. This is about the world now. It's time to give back to the world. Being my best, will make me feel the best, and will allow me to do my best in everything. Which will be what's best for the world. Living from instinct and intuition, what a way to live lol. Thank god for the path. Thank you everyone who's helped me, which is everyone i've ever interacted with on here because they were all part of the causal chain of me getting my life together. I no longer want to view other people as bad. I don't want to judge them. I want to see the best in everyone, so they can learn to see there internal greatness. I don't want to focus on the bad stuff of people, there's no point. I only have so much time on earth. Self referntial thinking. What a mother fer. Me, me , me ,me ,me ,me. I wonder how much i can stop with the self referntial. Do i even need to get rid of the self referntial thinking? I just want to be happy and feel good. Whatever gets me there I will fucking take it. LSD is sooooo good at breaking cycles. I feel the reset. The blank state. Let's go baby. I get another chance to try a new way. A better way. Just be honest. Say what you believe. Be compassionate, showing concern or sympathy for others. Be humble, a modest or low view of one's own importance. Everyone is doing their best, myself included. We are all trying our best to live as humans. Being human is hard sometimes.

@mandyjw With them. Everything is part of the causal chain. The psychedelics preceded the student's awakening. 1. Psychidelics 2. Pyschidelics+Teacher 3. Student + Teacher+ Psychidelics

This journal needs to be more uniqe. No more pretending and fear. I need to start being more honest.

I just did a micro dose of like half a tab of LSD. Man I do not feel good. I also did like 3 hours in the float tank this morning. LOL. i do everything to feel good, literally my entire life right now is just be doing shit to feel good and I don't even feel good, what a cosmic joke this is. I'm doing it to myself. I create my own suffering. So there's something happening right now in experience that is causing me to not feel good. But what is it? The relationship between thought/thinking and feeling. The truth is that it's all good. Reality is already all good. So i have everything I already want or need because it's only ever me, and myself. Everything is occurring within the universe, or within myself I think. I worry about judgement from others. I judge others harshly, and i am always worried about judgement. I want to feel better, and that's all I care about. Even when i jduge others lmao itsbecaues i dont feel good. So i bring the other people into my thought story, and take it out on them. I'm using other people to make myself feel better. I don't like this dynamic. I want to feel good first. I want to satisfy this constant seeking to just feel better. I'm really getting sick of this fking game the ways its being played. I want to feel better first. I want to heal myself fully first. My life purpose stuff is coming slowly, but it's because i am purposely limiting myself, haha i'm a sneaky fucker. I know my personality is off, i'm too egotistical, too narcissistic, I am not acting like a good person. But when i start writing on my website i don't want any of this stuff, this is what im fking writing against. All of this shit is delusional. I konw becuase i am doing it right now, i'm engaging in the delusion. I just want to feel better, that's all ir eally care about. I bet other people want the same thing, they are just ashamed to admit it. Or this is just more of my own projection onto others. Dam the mind is crazy. Thank god I have family money, and no one can tell me shit. Right now i'm typing crazy madness, if someone readas this they will think i'm a psycho lol. I am actually very confident in my progress so far, but it' a lot to process. Everything i wrote above is just thought. That is negaitve thought. I know that shit aint true because it doesn't feel good lol. But man i still don't feel that great. That's another thought. I think i should try like a 20 minute nap/meditation.

@Nahm Wow I didn't realize that narcissism and self referential thinking is only a step above hatred. How do you relate to others? Like i am always judging, comparing, studying, analyzing etc. Is your view consistent across all people?

I do not feel good. How do I know this is true. When i actually listen, and try to feel what it is that's here, there's a peace in the feeling it's not bad at all. That's interesting so when I actually question this core belief, that I don't feel good, and i actually test it against reality it turns out it's not true. Hmm, so it appears that the zone is always here. The zone is MYSELF. When i find myself, that's the zone. If i could just BEMYSELF in every moment, then I would be in the zone. Because MYSELF, is the best I can do. But there are concerns. MYSELF is peaceful, but myself isn't pure bliss and ectsasy that I thought I was getting. I believe that the high of god is better than any drug ever invented. MYSELF should be better than everything, but even in this moment I could imagine my life better. I could imagine better feeling etc. If you gave me 1 billion dollars then I would be happier I think, I mean i assume it would make me feel better. There's no such thing as a true thought. Bring all thoughts to light no matter how fked up they are, and you will see that even though you believe them to be true, the truth is that the thoughts are not true. The zone can be tested. So my theory right now is that the zone is MYSELF, and when i am aware of myself i will be in the zone. MYSELF can handle any challenge. MYSELF is challenger caliber in league of legends. Because if not MYSELF, then who is? And when is? The only time you can ever have anything is right now, with MYSELF, and only MYSELF, there is only ever MYSELF. I need to start dumping more of my thoughts onto a journal. This was an excellent purge holy fuck. I feel clearer in my writing already. Lol. I have may have stumbled on something major here wow.

I am in the zone- On the dream board: Working out resistant thoughts to being in the zone: I feel irritable, restless, anxious therefore I am not in the zone I am not sure if this strategy by Nahm is going to work. I'm still not clear on this stuff. This seems to simple to get me in the zone. There must be something else. Dam this is rough. I just want the zone, but the zone is not coming to me. Man i'm bored. I just want to be happy and feel good, and feel the flow and the bliss of being in the zone. I am content with the moment. It's not what i want, but it's also not a bad state. I really hope I can get in the zone. I hope i can be in the flow and totally focused while playing. I just want to have fun. I want to play the game, have fun, win or lose, and just enjoy the experience. That's what I WANT. to just enjoy the experience. i really hope i can get there with video games, where i just play the game and I have fun playing the game. I hope I can feel good while playing, that would be so awesome. I believe I can feel good while playing games. I really believe that I can achieve complete focus and flow while playing. Just playing, having fun, and trying my best. I can do it. I can try my best, win or lose, and just be happy no matter what playing the game. I believe I can do it. Pure joy, playing the game for the joy I get from playing, nothing else. I believe I can find my joy playing the game. I can't wait until my next game. I am going to be in the zone. I am going to try my best. I am going to just play. Win or lose. I just want to play the game. I'm going to mute my entire team and just play the game. That's what i want to just focus and play the game. I can do that. I can play, and when I recognize resistance I can just let that resistance go while playing. I can free myself one breathe at at ime while playing. I love playing. I'm so grateful I get to play video games for a living. Like i'm fucking practicing gaming, and thats my job lmao. I am going to make millions of dollars just playing the game, and writing my opinons about life. WHat a fucking joke lol. What an amazing life. I am so lucky to be here right now. Thank you god for making all this possible. Thank you world. Thank you universe. Holy fuck i get to play games and have incredible amounts of fun and joy just playing the game. Thats what my life is now. Just fucking play. Wow. Blows me away. Still kinda in disbelief about all of this stuff. Went from atheist to agnostic to dogmatic follower, now i found it. I found happiness woot woot. I can't wait to play the game. Gaming is awesome so much potentail for joy and love in gaming.

I am wasting time. I want to climb in league. But i am just so distracted right now. I know my focus isn't where I need it to be. But what can i do. I am going to shower, smoke weed, and then meditate for 30 minutes in my bed. Then I will game. Let's see how this goes. I will report back later and see if this workeD @Nahm @zeroISinfinity What is the best way to use the journal? Do I write what i'm feeling, like describe the emotion? Should i just write out stream of consciuosness and hope that makes me feel better? I want god, i want to feel good. Right now i'm disconnected. Should i just write how much i want to feel good? I want to use journal to 100% efficiency and optimization. I want to be like a super functional robot THAT FEELs happy and peace.