Raptorsin7

@dimitri How do you find good feeling thoughts? I've tried meditating and just letting go if thoughts as they arise, but I dont get good feelings one that come up to focus on. Did you have any experience with the crown and third eye chakra opening? That's basically all I got right now, I know if these sensations in my head can relax and release fully then I'll feel a stickiness in my head and then bliss Haha

@Nahm Ok I'll try guided yoga session and shadow work this weekend and then see how I feel. Idk i agree intellectually with what you're saying but it's not resonating.

@Nahm I am ready to let the beliefs go, I just have no clue how to do it. One major technique i haven't tried yet is shadow work, so I'll give that a shot and see how I feel. I'm pretty much open at this point. There really isnt anything in my life I wouldnt give for a real happiness and enlightenment. Pretty sure most people cant say that.

@ivankiss Is that what sparked your awakening? The actual death? Did you regress into old patterns after that, or did you have that 1 defining moment that changed everything?

@Lenny They are always more interesting and engaging. Like in one of my recent dreams there was a party, and the host ended up being like a bond villian. It's hard to describe but I always remember waking up and feeling like I'd rather be there then where I'm at now.

@Treetalk So do I just sit with the feeling as it Is, whatever it is, for a long period? What does this look like in practice?

@Nahm I dont know how to do it. The last time I did it I was really depressed, and now I'm depressed again so I guess I'm going in the right direction.

@Nahm Yes. It's not enough. That's the path? More clarity and calm? Feeling a bit better is not enough. I've done self help work in the past, and it wasn't just slightly feeling better and calmer. My entire life changed, and I was a different person. That's what I want. I don't mind being called a shit head, but it'd be great if there was a point or purpose. What you're saying is not resonating. It seems like we're just going round in circles.

@Nahm I just had a meditation session and tried to implement what you said. I bring attention to breathing when I notice thoughts, and then I bring attention to feeling. I tried surrendering, and just tried to lay down without attempting to do anything. I repeated to myself, pick a better feeling thought, and I tried to think thoughts that felt good, I also tried to bring attention to feeling and think while feeling first. But I have no idea if this right, and I didn't get any noticeable relief or release aside from being a bit calmer and more clear after the hour. Am I just going to repeat this over and over again until something clicks? I'm basically at the end of my ropes here, i'm pretty much open to anything. Should I just spend all day in bed meditating and walking around? Also, there isn't really anything I love or enjoy doing. Walks are nice, and I go for a walk almost every night, but it's the same pattern. I go for a walk, feel a bit better, or a bit motivated, and then it never lasts or leads to meaningful change. A lot of what you're saying sounds great if I were on the other end of feeling good. If I felt great then yeah everything you're saying sounds good. But right now feeling stuck, it just doesn't resonate at all idk.

@Nahm How do I uncover(and change) the beliefs that are preventing my waking state from being as engaging and captivating as the dream state? Why would I choose to believe something that causes my life to be unappealing?

Still no major progress. I don't really have anything to report. Life sucks and i'm miserable haha. Apathy. At least i had a cool dream last night. My dream experience is awesome and always captivating, but the waking state is miserable and depressive. I am starting to have my doubts about pure spirituality. I spent at least an hour in meditation today but i don't get to a well being place through meditation. If i were to die tmrw this really sucked. If today were my last day on earth i don't even know what to say this is just insane. What the hell am i doing here. Why is it so hard to get to a good happy place for me. It's past the point of being funny, it's just crazy. I asked for guidance from spirits or a higher power in my meditation and on my walk and although i did pick a better feeling though4 t, it was sublte and made virtually no difference. Feeling depressed and sad, 2 seconds of a thought about a tv show, then back to depression and feeling bad. I told my mom today that it'd be great of she and my dad died so i could get the money and not worry about getting a job. It's a terrible thing to say but i don't even care. It didn't even feel bad to say it tbh, and it's honestly how i feel. My life is miserable and sucks, but if my parents were dead at least i'd be financially free and independent, and if i felt worse than i feel now maybe i could cry. Wow life sucks, this is fucked. If you read my journal 4 months ago, you would think i'd be the happiest person on earth. I thought i had this figured out. I thought my life was on a different trajectory. I'm back seeking happiness, and just depressed again. Crazy

I feel a stickiness and pressure in my head. I believe this is a third eye blockage, but i have no idea how to overcome this blockage. I have so many concepts, so many different teachings in my head. I'm not sure what to pursue at this point. I think i'm going to start trying a bunch of different stuff to see what sticks. An hour of self inquiry or meditation doesn't do much for me at this point, and i think it's important to start doing more and different things. Today i'm going to run for a mile, work on duality, read about quantaum mechanics, do some yoga, and eat healthy.

I have a question for anyone with experience working with the emotional scale. https://www.thelawofattraction.com/law-attraction-learning-move-emotional-scale/ I want to learn to move up the scale emotionally at will, but i'm kind of confused with the process. How do we tell our current emotional state? One issue i'm having is i'm not quite sure where i fall on the spectrum. I've always been a very insecure person, but does that mean my default emotional set point would be insecurity? Is it possible that my emotional state is the lowest on the list, but because i've been in this state for so long i'm just used to it? Like if someone said how do you feel, i'd say fine but i don't really know how to label it on the scale. It could be boredom, but it could also be despair/insecurity that i've just gotten so used to that i just consider this normal and not "bad". Any insights are appreciated.

@Harikrishnan My life purpose is coming, but slowly. I think i'm going to work the course again to gain more clarity about how i want to release content. My life purpose is directly tied to my life. I want to write about the benefits and value of all this work, but recently i've been stuck and honestly I have nothing to write about honestly. I know that the greatest life happens based on how our internal world works, and that's what i want to share with the world, but my direct experience does not reflect that and i can't start writing until i actually make noticeable progress on the path to enlightenment.

I started a course on mind valley called Duality. It's about energy healing so i'm hoping to make some improvements in my life through the course. It's an 8 week course so this will last until the end of summer. I'm really hoping to transition out of this depression phase of my life by then. I really just want life to be awesome and amazing, like i've had in the past.

@Galyna I don't know what exactly the trigger was, but i was hoping for more progress with my path since i had an awakening experience on LSD in February. It was an incredible experience, and i thought i would be able to embody the feelings i had during that experience more reguarly but since then i haven't been able to get back to that state, even with LSD. It's just frustrating knowing that life can be amazing, but living a life that's just numb and dull. I'm not planning on quitting or anything, mainly because i don't know what else to do with my life at this point haha, but i do wish i made more tangible progress with how i feel and the quality of my life then what i'm currently doing.

@Artiekee Agreed about the meditation. I think that has been the biggest difference, just being more present and playing more calmly. An hour of meditation gets me refreshed and it's definitely noticeable in the game. I'm making great progress on the game rn. I'm 15-1 in my last 16 games on renekton lol. I'm currently Plat 4, and the way i'm playing it won't be long before i'm diamond.

@Nahm What do you when you struggle to find thoughts that feel good to focus on? I tried to find good feeling thoughts after a meditation session, but nothing was coming up that felt good.

Hi everyone I have a few questions about a girl I'm currently seeing. We have been on 2 dates, but i'm at a cross roads and i'd appreciate some advice. So, I think I'm ready for a serious relationship. I really want to grow, mature, be happier, etc and I think finding a secure relationship is an excellent way to facilitate growth between both people. This girl I'm seeing is a great person. She smart, aware, and just an overall good person. I think she would be an excellent person to commit to and develop a relationship. But I have a few concerns and i'd appreciate insight. I find her cute and attractive, but i'm not VERY physically attracted to her. Like there are some girls that are like sex magents, but this girl I find cute and attractive and it's not like I find her off putting, but am I setting myself up for future problems if i'm not insanely attracted to her right away? Is sexual attraction something that can build in a relationship? It was weird, after our first date I really liked her and we really hit it off. I was thinking ok this girl i'm going to date. But then after the date I started getting in my own head about how she's a lot shorter than me(i'm 6ft3 she's like 5ft3) and I started thinking maybe I should find someone I find more attractive. But at the same time looks are so subjective, like I used to think I was ugly as a kid but now I like how I look and think i'm attractive. Could the same subjectivity apply here, could I find her more attractive as I work through my insecurities with her? I guess i'm in an odd spot where I really want to WANT her, but I feel internally conflicted. Any thoughts or questions are appreciated

@Average Investor Thanks man. Yeah I've definitely tapped into something here. I'm like 15-2 in over my most recent stretch and all my games im playing well.

Sorry for the delay. I play better on the trip. When i'm more conscious the game moves slower and i'm just more aware of how everything is occurring. I haven't been able to channel the state, but there's definitely a difference in my performance on and off the drugs. I have a pretty big update. I was going through a bit of a crisis because I wasn't getting any better and I was stuck at a medium rank. In the past 7 days I'm 23-9 on my main champion, and I just hit Plat 4 which is a new max rank for me. I've been playing very well and I think I can climb even higher just by playing and focusing well each game. I've found that meditation right before I play, or playing right when I wake up actually increases my performance. I think it's because I have more mental clarity In the mornings. I'm back in full swing on the game, and I expect to be Diamond 4 very soon.

@egoeimai No, I honestly had these thoughts earlier but I was internally divided on the subject. On the one hand I thought I could make it work and i'd get over the insecure thoughts, but on the other hand I thought it could just be we aren't compatible and i'll know when I find someone who's right for me. I do feel sad about the situation, but overall i'm relieved that this experience passed, especially because I have a greater sense for what to look for in a potential partner, and how much work I have to do on myself to be ready for a great relationship

WOW. Huge update. She just messaged me saying she doesn't want to lead me on and doesn't see it going anywhere. I was having second thoughts throughout our date and i'm pretty sure my coldness rubbed off on her and that's what killed it. I had a thought earlier today that I would be so relieved if she just messaged me and said she wasn't interested, so I got just what I wanted haha. The world works in weird ways. I think one thing I learned is I have to find someone i'm incredibly attracted too. I don't know if i'd be satisfied settling for someone who ticked all the boxes intellectually, but in reality something felt off.

See here's the issue. She is a quality human, but my mind just turned on her after our great first date. I guess the concern would be that I keep dating her and I just keep thinking of what's wrong. Like on our last date It didn't go well, and I know it's because I was having these negative thoughts about her and I think it manifested in me being cold and not open in our date. I guess the question is will the feelings and connection grow deeper into the relationship. I want to be a happy, self actualized person. I don't care if my girlfriend is a perfect 10 model type nonsense, but I am worried that if these thoughts don't go away and then it's like 10 dates in and i'm still having reservations and just picking her apart. This is what i'd hope happens here. How do I know if i'm mature enough for them to dissolve? I don't want to be comparing her to other girls, and I don't want to focus on her tiny flaws, when there's so much about her that is just awesome. This is the first girl I've gone out with that I've actually cared about. Part of me wants her to say she doesn't like me so I can get out of this, but I do want an intimate relationship. I also know that superficial looks etc is so surface and I do not want to be the kind of person who gets hung up on this. There's a higher version of myself that would love this relationship and it would be great.