loub

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Posts posted by loub

  1. Posted

    A few months ago I bought a sports watch to track my running progress. The watch also tracks sleep and time spent in different sleep-cycles and made me aware that I have consistently been  getting only 0-10min of deep sleep every night.

    Since then I have been looking into ways to increase deep sleep and I now sleep in complete darkness with a sleep-mask on, tape my mouth, reduce exposure to light and stop eating ~2h prior to sleep. So far not much has changed.

    Does anyone here have experience with increasing deep-sleep? Any insights and tips would be appreciated.

     

  4. Posted

    I tend to go for alcohol-free beer. It's isotonic, only has little sugar and I really like the taste. Normally those will have <0.5% vol, but you can go for one's specifically advertising as 0.0% vol.

    As a guy I tend to get some weird looks but I just shrug it off and usually don't give an explanation. If your friends have a problem with that, or even pressure you into drinking, you should know that that is not okay and set boundaries accordingly.

  5. Posted

    A beautiful older movie based on the story of Thomas More in 16th century England, who refused to publicly approve of King Henry the eighth divorcing his wife and remarrying. (spoiler alert) He held up his silence unwaveringly until they executed him.

    The whole film is gleaming with integrity and there is an especially beautiful scene towards the end when his daughter begs him to just do as the king demands, he tells her: 'you hold your self in your hands like water. Now when you lie it is as if you opened your hands; and don't expect to find yourself easily again.'

    I'm not sure if that movie fits in this section as it is not explicitly a spiritual teaching, but it is a very moving display of integrity.

    I couldnt find a video of the scene I was referring to so here's another good one to give an impression:

    It's on Netflix btw. Enjoy and feel free to discuss :)

  7. Posted

    In my experience, a more depressive episode tends to be a catalyst for growth, as it naturally promotes introspection, and helps me get some distance from daily affairs. I tend to think of it as caused by me ignoring something for too long, that would have needed tending to, that I'm now forced to look into.

    If you are clinically depressed though, get help asap.

  8. Posted

    On 4/27/2021 at 2:41 PM, Migue Lonas said:

    Lots of great names here already like Bernando Kastrup. He seems super humble, honest and admits things like that he still suffers instead of plays God. According to him, he is also good friends with Rupert Spira. But yeah, seems like Bernando focuses more on ''satisfying'' / ''shutting down'' the intellect whereas Rupert goes straight to the heart.

    But if I'm to give a name that I didn't bump into then, Curt Jaimungal:

    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdWIQh9DGG6uhJk8eyIFl1w

    What I was going to suggest, +1

  14. Posted

    Who says the latest Lamborghini won't make you happy? It's just a believe you hold, without which you would have to admit you don't know what will make you happy. Why would a Lamborghini be out of the question? Especially if you have some sort of pull in that direction.

    To dismiss something within you on the ground of some belief you picked up is bad strategy; you will never judge or manipulate your way into true transformation. Instead look into it, and be open to why you feel drawn towards all that stuff, but to do that you must first be as and where you are. Spoiler: it is you you'll find.

    Also, if you don't mind sharing, may ask what you do for a living? Just curious. Best of luck.

  16. Posted

    13 hours ago, Gesundheit said:

    What is the difference between the state without fear and fearlessness?

    A state without fear would be one where fear is not present but the underlying assumptions that make it necessary are still active. Fearlessness would be the result of grasping those assumptions and eliminating the perceived need for fear.

    13 hours ago, Gesundheit said:

    He said realization is different from life. Okay, I don't want the realization. I want life. How do I achieve fearlessness in life?

    You want to get rid of the effects of the assumptions but leave the assumptions themselves untouched? Try and get that you look at this entire situations through those assumptions, as if they were true. Don't you fear not becoming fearless? Fearlessness won't be found in the same domain as the absence of fear.

    13 hours ago, Gesundheit said:

    Really? A masterpiece? He sounds like a condescending madman. And the disclaimer at first didn't help. It's as though he's talking to desperate seekers (which may be true). Regardless, the video was not exactly what I'm looking for.

    Perhaps Ralston is not the most agreeable teacher, but I'm certain he is neither condescending nor a madman (okay, that one is debatable). I think he is talking to his Apprentices here, who should be pretty serious about this stuff. And I disagree, I think the video fits your situation well, but I might be wrong. All the best to you. Take care!

  17. Posted

    I'm like that too. I'm horrible over text, basically if I don't have you in front of me in some form I barely think about you. Don't take that personally.

    In terms of what you should do now: why do anything? She lives in a different city, you can't meet regularly. If you feel like it text her about that cool new Pink Floyd song you just discovered. Other than that you will meet her when you are both home for Christmas. There's really no point in an active long distance friendship. Doesn't mean you're not friends anymore.

  18. Posted

    I'm working quite closely on fear myself atm. From time to time I like to go to this video to slap some sense into me. Its a masterpiece. Under this premise, i would say you confused a state without fear for fearlessness, but to really live without it would mean to grasp what it is truly, and eradicate the need for it. Fear has a function, it serves a purpose. Good luck, let me know what you think.

     

  19. Posted

    @somegirl  May I ask how old you are?

    First advice I'd give is disrupt the narrative you have spun around the situation. It is not real and makes it impossible to see things clearly.

    I can sympathize with your situation as I have and in part am still going through something similar. I can share some of my thoughts hopefully they can be of help.

    The first thing is that sex is not simple. When two people with all their personal history, expectation, insecurity, etc... meet in such a way it will be very complex on a mental, physical and interpersonal level. It is not possible to be good at sex right away. Imagine if I sat you down in front of a piano and asked you to play me some Liszt. You'd probably laugh and tell me I'm stupid for expecting you to play when you have never done so(assuming that's the case here). But you wouldn't suffer for it. Why?

    That's the second consideration. You had a simplistic, overly romantic image of how sex will be that reality couldn't live up to. But more importantly you had an image of yourself in relation to sex that you did not live up to. And you suffer for it. I'd look into that. What is true about you in relation to sex that drives the reactions you are now experiencing. How should you be and how are you actually? Be very honest and you will be able to get some space from those taken for granted assumptions, and be able to look at the matter with less noise and more clarity.

    Then perhaps what you'll find is that you need to learn how to have good sex much like the piano. Discover what you like, and see the process of getting better as an exciting one.

    Also don't let a lazy person like @flume (:P) tell you good sex is a mans responsibility. There's so much a woman can do in terms of how open, spontaneous, receptive, present, humorous, intimate, safe she is and also in how cheeky, seductive charming she is. The responsibility for good sex is a shared one.

    Hope some of this helps. All the best to you, don't beat yourself up. It will get better. ^_^

     

  20. Posted

    The decision of staying with her is too important to give advice on on a forum. You have to know whats best there.

    I think there is a trap here that many people fall into early on. You got all these new ideas now and they increasingly show you your own limitation and ignorance, and when your behavior feels limited, it feels like people around you are the reason for that. It's only natural to now want to get away from or change others, get them interested in spirituality and such. Personally, I thought that if I got myself a girlfriend who is into spirituality and self-help I could finally be the spontaneous, free, authentic and whole person I yearned to be. It did not work. Your unaddressed demons will follow you around, no matter how much you change the circumstances of your life.

    So if I may ask, what exactly is that gap in consciousness between you two? What have you got going except for some fancy ideas and a tingling sensation in your head while meditating? In my experience a true increase in consciousness and the resulting freedom help to better equip you for daily life, embrace it and live it with more integrity, and not to want to hide and get away from it.

    Hope that helps in some way. I did not mean for this to be practical advice on what you should do, perhaps you might need some more time to introspect. Best of luck.

  21. Posted

    'Policy is more important than character'... proceeds to do nothing but repeat right wing talking points about the culture war i.e. radical left, antifa, free speech under attack, everything is now racist and bigoted, etc... These are all inventions made up by the minds of right-wing pundits with big corporations best interest at heart.

    When voting, please consider the actual consequences you will have on real peoples lives. Ground yourself in that. And then look at your options. Without ideology and wishful thinking, is right-wing policy really what is needed right now?

  22. Posted

    13 hours ago, Danioover9000 said:

    @loub

       Ha ha ha that's good control! Much better in this situation to let it be and move on. Same happened to me in the past, but I was by myself, a group of three drunks to my right, one shoulder hits me. This subconsciously triggered me into hammer and hooking the guy down, and I snap kicked into number 2's throat, he goes down gasping. Number 3 just registering the chaos and starts putting guard but too slow, jab-cross-uppercut and 3's down. I spun around, reverse side kicked 2 down for good, and walked away.  

    Seems over the top. Hope they weren't seriously hurt and did not press charges. In my case there were about nine of them and so it was just the wisest decision to move on. I also would not ever have a natural inclination to fight anyone as long as can still avoid doing so. Glad to see you've come to your senses since.

  23. Posted

    I think I get what you are trying to get at. You got some things confused though. While enlightenment, that is direct consciousness, can enable a change in perspective, that change in itself is not enlightenment. Enlightenment is about directly experiencing what's true, and the truth is true regardless. So there is no change coming about as enlightenment. Perhaps this is impossible to truly understand short of having an enlightenment yourself.

    Now you seem to hold some spiritual ideal of accepting everything as it, and wanting change to be egoic or bad and now want to rightfully counter that saying 'enlightenment can be a good escape'. To become absolutely free it is wise to change and transform your experience, but that is not done through escaping but through investigating your experience, and fully being with it.

    "If you want to change something, change it. It's got nothing to do with the truth." -Peter Ralston

  24. Posted

    7 hours ago, Recursoinominado said:

    Cocaine makes people aggressive too. 

    What is the mystery here? Bunch of young dudes with high testo, drunk, probably using drugs, possibly steroids also, in crowds, they act dumb and aggressive and people are surprised? 

    +1 I remember walking with a girl through a narrow street busy with bars and drunk people. When passing a group of men in their early twenties one of them one of them walked around us to shoulder-bump me, hoping to get a reaction that would justify a fight. I just ignored it and went on.

    Later I thought about it quite a bit, how I could not understand what would get people to do smth. like that, how I should try and understand  their perspective and where they are coming from, how I should accept and love them more, etc...

    All these reactions happened automatically and after I sobered up a little from them it was actually pretty funny how I was still concerned with this incident. In reality it was all really simple: some idiot got drunk looking for trouble. Why would I waste any thought on him? What was that truly about? And just then I let it be.

    That's my advice for you here: this is all very simple. You just overcomplicate it. Why? Seriously, why ask about it here? Why be concerned about it? There's something there to look into, and it is about you.