Gili Trawangan

Good post.

So I haven't written here in a long time. Didn't feel like it, I guess. A lot of it was due to going through caffeine withdrawal, it has taken me quite some time to feel normal again after quitting coffee. But things have been good now that I feel normal again, with enough energy to get me through the days without the need for stimulants. The EP is finally going to come out on March 5th. I just couldn't bring myself to release it before, and couldn't quite understand why, but then I realized that there was something wrong with the mastering. I checked it against other music out there, and it turns out that my masters were at a lower volume. So I decided to master the EP again. Took the opportunity and also remixed one of the songs that wasn't sounding the way I wanted it to. Big improvement in the end. I've also started posting videos on YouTube about spirituality. I love talking about those things and don't get to do it on a daily basis, plus it's tied with the whole project, the music is very inspired by spirituality. Of course, the audience for both the videos and the music is very small, but that's not the point. I feel like this project is here to help me shed more layers of ego. A big part of my ego is this preoccupation with image, and therefore not wanting to be seen. There's a fear of being seen by others, of putting myself out there. Before posting the first video, there was fear and agitation and anxiety. I knew my family would watch them, and I'm talking about things that they don't understand, and the same thing goes for my friends back home. But after uploading the first few videos, it got better, I just needed to push through. I've also started writing music again, started a new song this week. So things are going well, I finally have my energy back. It took a long time, it's incredible the effect that caffeine addiction was having on me.

Let go of attention altogether. If awareness is pointed at something, it means you're not there. Let attention go over and over again until there is no object. It will feel like you don't know what's happening or who you are, there will be no thought and no awareness of anything. It might take a while to get there, depending on how much meditation you've done before.

Fantastic video.

What you should be after is the experience of resolving that apparent paradox. Not an intellectual understanding of it. This takes practice. You feel it, the desire is there but you leave the results up to... (insert word, "chance", "God", "the universe", etc.).

Of course pick up has its limits and needs to be transcended. But telling a guy who knows nothing about seduction and is hopeless with women to just "be himself" is usually a recipe for disaster (or just inadvertent abstinence). It takes a lot for a guy to be able to "be himself", it's an entire life journey. There will always be a backlash to pick up on the part of some women, but with some empathy they can sympathize and understand it.

Notice that solipsism is a mental position. It is therefore relative (and ultimately wrong). It is also a mental position of exclusion (I exist and others don't). It feels bad to think that way because it's wrong, as it goes against what reality is. Reality is inclusive, it's Love. Love includes everything, it doesn't separate (which is what this "I exist and others don't" position is doing).

I've just started mine: It's a music project but I might continue to talk about spirituality for a while. Good luck with your channels!

The answer to these questions comes with more experience. Being creepy and realizing what you're doing is actually good practice, it tells you where to draw the line. Pull back a little bit if you're pushing it, but this is the process. I remember, in the past, deliberately pushing things way too far just to see how far one can go. Trial and error.

So I gave up coffee about six weeks ago. The only reason I got the nerve to give it up was because of doing one of those nine-day cleanses (no caffeine was allowed). So I went through the withdrawals, which together with the withdrawals from the cleanse were pretty terrible: headaches, then body aches, super low energy, etc. It was extremely difficult to continue to work while going through that. In the end I made it and now regular work is not a problem anymore. The problem is that even six weeks later there is still no drive. I feel fine most of the time, but there's just no drive to work on my goals (aside from regular work), I'm just going through the motions. I go to work, I wrestle with the thought that I should be doing something productive with the rest of my time, but the energy just isn't there. I know that lifestyle is part of the problem, but that can't be helped right now. I live in a neighborhood where walking is extremely unpleasant, so I work out two or three times a week and the rest is a sedentary lifestyle. But assuming that this can't be changed for the time being, should I go back to drinking coffee? Somehow, on coffee at least I get stuff done. There's that jolt of energy that, aside from pleasant, helps to focus and do the things that I should be doing. And, quite frankly, I think I'm happier when I'm drinking coffee. Am I missing something here? It feels like going back to coffee is the best decision right now, I can't go on like this forever, it's like I'm numb... and the only reason I haven't gone back to coffee yet is because the withdrawals are still present in the back of the mind... I wouldn't want to go through them again.

No faith required, just an open mind.

@flowboy Wow, definitely, that helps a lot. And I think I get what you're saying about the diet, because I've also been noticing that I get more or less fatigued depending on what kind of food I choose throughout the day. And I've probably been choosing the wrong food more often than not... I guess I'll go for 100 days then thanks a lot.

@Striving for more Yes, I've heard the horror stories. I once met a guy who spent a week in a Thai prison because they had forgotten to stamp his passport on some border. But hey, if you're looking for easy girls, there's no place like it @kbone I actually never went to Gili Air, only stayed in Gili Trawangan. And the avatar picture is not even mine, haha, I just got it off of Google.

Southeast Asia (which I guess is what you're referring to) is hard to get to at the moment, I think most countries have their borders closed. I'm in Vietnam and there's no way to get in here, and I think it's the same elsewhere. I don't know about Thailand, I read somewhere that they want to get the economy going again and they need tourists to do it.

@BlackMaze That's reasonable, I might just go back to one a day. I was on two a day for many years. @flowboy I understand what you're saying and it does make sense, theoretically. But I don't think that's what it is. The stuff I've been procrastinating on is as close to "life purpose" as it gets. I am passionate about it, and have been for this whole year. But something has happened, I must have burnt out, and now I'm just avoiding the work, and not drinking coffee isn't helping. I know that coffee is an artificial motivator, but if that's all I have access to right now?... I might just have to go for those steaks

I have to agree. I've tried to be more forgiving of women with a high partner count but it doesn't work. The rationale is that women who engage in a lot of casual sex will be less likely to ever give it up. So they don't make the best partners for a man who wants a monogamous relationship.

Your mom sounds wise

I kind of rushed through your post, but how is this any different from what is discussed on this forum daily? Can anyone shed light?

@Blackhawk Why do you care if other people agree with you on this? If it's a fact, then others' opinions shouldn't matter to you. Do you go around discussing that the Earth is round instead of flat? Do you get pissed if someone says the Earth is flat? What other people are trying to point out to you is that this "top 10% males" or "top 2%" is a limiting belief that actually hurts your results. It's in your mind and you end up having an inferiority complex that works through your subconscious. Thus making it even harder for you. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. I used to have trouble with dating when I was younger. Today I have full abundance. This top 10% bullshit doesn't even enter my mind, when I am with a girl there is only the present moment.

Lying about his age was most likely for practical purposes. He must have noticed, as I have, that on dating apps once your age is above 35 your options decrease significantly. Most women under 30 are likely choosing an upper limit of 35 for their matches. I happen to look a lot younger, and in real life I have no trouble attracting young women, therefore I don't feel like I'm scamming anyone, and I always tell the truth about my age (online if I'm asked, and in real life no matter what). So, the way I see it, the only mistake this guy made was not coming clean immediately about his age. But he did eventually, which means that he's probably not a douchebag, he was just afraid of losing the girl, probably because he actually likes her. Honestly I don't know, I don't know these people, but neither do you who are judging here and pretty much demanding that they break up. I don't buy this whole "oh she's a baby, she doesn't know what she's getting into" and "he's likely a predator and will break her heart". For all you know, it will be the opposite; relationships are messy, and the chances that a 19-year-old girl will find her soulmate/husband at that age are slim whatever the age of the guy she's dating. In the end, it comes down to how conscious and aware the guy is (and the girl too, of course), and nobody here has a clue about that.

LOL. I'm 38 years old, also an English teacher, and a few weeks ago I had sex with a 19-year-old woman I met on tinder (and my profile reads 34 instead of 38). The only difference between me and this guy is that I told her my real age as soon as we met. And I'm not going to have a relationship with her (though I would if I wanted to). This was a funny thread to read, but as you can imagine it only reads highly judgmental from my perspective. Or, I'm just a shady dude and a perv

I merged with a pillow once. That's a true story

There is only God. No one awakens

You can't say that you are God. Until you can. It's called awakening. No proof or evidence, just awakening.

Thanks for sharing this. I need to start learning about this stuff, might as well begin with this book.