Gili Trawangan

I disagree, he's serious when he's at work, with women he's quite playful. I'm thinking Sean Connery, obviously. I'm all for the James Bond 'approach' because it works for me, but I agree that for other guys a more 'silly' persona works best. Ultimately, do you.

Wonderful. I never got the insight that suffering = healing. Care to elaborate on that?

You're overthinking this. Go on dates with no pressure and have fun (be honest that you like to take things slow). Some guys will not want to wait and stop pursuing (let them go). Of the ones who keep pursuing, after you feel somewhat comfortable with one (and attracted), let your emotions lead you where they will. If they lead you to sex, no regrets, even if it doesn't play out the way you expected. If they don't lead you to sex, no regrets, it wasn't meant to be. When too much thinking is going on, there's nothing like letting your emotions take the wheel for a bit - within reason, if that makes sense.

What are you hoping to find?

Yes, for sure.

This is true. Gyms have been closed for a while where I live and I've been gradually feeling worse each week. I'm 39. Working out is absolutely mandatory, otherwise your quality of life starts going down the drain.

This is what I was talking about in that other long thread about masculine containment. Most men have this problem of not feeling valued for who they are, but for what they do or what they can provide. And it does create wounds in men. I found this video insightful, especially coming from a woman. Obviously women have their own issues to deal with, but this issue for men usually gets ignored by women and by society at large.

Very nice!

It means being fully accepted. It means being accepted when you're strong and when you feel weak. Being accepted when you're at your most masculine and when you're in feminine energy as well. It also means that they want YOU regardless of circumstance. That a woman wants you whether you're kicking ass with your career or whether you've lost your job and can't find another one. Whether you're feeling high energy or low energy. Whether you're having a driven and powerful phase or a lazy and apathetic one. Anyway, that's the fantasy.

I still get a slight sense of guilt when I read these threads, or watch Teal Swan's video, because a part of me thinks that I should perhaps try to offer a woman containment and just try to build a so-called healthy relationship. Sounds good on paper, even though I don't want to have children. Then I look back to my experiences and realize that every time I've tried to do that I got burned. Every single woman I've ever developed feelings for ended up cheating on me. Now, granted, that's as much a refection on the way I was at the time as it is on the women. However, the one time I actually had a relationship for three years, and she was adamant about how much she loved me and how I was the one for her, I saw self-agenda and survival at play. She wanted children and I didn't. Even though I clearly told her I didn't want to have children, she somehow found a way to get pregnant (supposedly while being on birth control). I didn't push her for an abortion, even though I felt I got played. And as soon as I accepted my responsibility the tables turned. She went from "you're the only one for me" to "you know, we don't have to stay together. We can just have the baby and then go our separate ways". This happened literally overnight. It turned out to be a miscarriage, but that was a sight to see. Her priorities were clear once she had got what she wanted. The problem I think many men have is that they long to be loved by a woman for who they are. And then reality kicks them in the ass over and over again, because women can be as ruthless as a cruel dictator. So can men, of course, it goes without saying. I'll come out and say it, I have a problem with trusting women. I don't give myself fully to women because every time I tried I got burned. I have the sense that as soon as she's not getting exactly what she wants or needs, she's out the door in three seconds (or even worse, first she finds another guy and cheats, then she's out the door). The worst thing I can think of, from a man's POV, is offering the woman containment to the best of one's abilities, only to have her walk out a few years later because she's no longer getting whatever her agenda requires. And those years of offering containment, to the detriment of our own agenda (when we build something, we like to go all the way), simply go to waste. It's a gamble, for sure, and I understand those who are willing to take it. I also understand those who are not.

I feel you are attached to having to solve your attachments This. Plus you're 19, what the hell is this "surrender all your attachments" talk? Just follow your passion, follow your bliss.

@Karmadhi Then own that fully. There's no need to lie, but you don't have to rub their noses in it either. If asked, be 100% honest. Just own it.

What do YOU want to do? Date multiple women or just one?

This. When I go a long time without talking to people I experience what OP described. I can't explain the mechanism either, but the uncomfortableness does go away after pushing through and just practicing socialization more.

Will check it out soon

I don't see anything wrong with what she was saying. She says that when you meet people anything can happen but most come and go. True. And that sometimes, with a particular person, after a while, you fall for them and stop looking for other people in the process. Also very possible. She's right, if it ever happens to you you'll see

Beautiful.

@modmyth What do you mean "for real"? I saw the movie too

@Thought Art Thanks for the feedback! I haven't listened to the addiction formula, is it free somewhere online? I honestly don't remember how the mix was done, it was a few (long) months ago. I'm just taking notes now on how to improve in the future, cause I'm really just a beginner when it comes to mixing.

@Loving Radiance Thanks for the feedback @aurum Thanks a lot. That's a good point about the drums.. I'm thinking about how they could possibly get more of that punch, because just making them louder wouldn't work, I think.. anyway, it's something to think about for the future, thanks!

@nistake Very cool! I forgot to add one of mine: Feedback heat... what the hell, always high

@aurum I really don't know anything about EDM (it's not my cup of tea as a genre), but it sounds good to me! Sorry I can't be any more specific, I'm lacking in references here

It's a very nice song, I really like the arrangement. You've got some really nice backing vocal sounds that really go well with the song, and they have plenty of reverb (or other effects, not sure), it's nice. What I would try to improve is the vocal performance and vocal mixing, you were out of tune at times, and you could solve this through melodyne, or just re-record until you hit those notes just right. You have a nice falsetto voice as well. Believe me, I know how vocal mixing can be a pain in the ass, I'm still making mistakes with it as well. Oh, also, your forgot to edit out a few sounds, like breath noises, or the chair squeaking in the end. Anyway, good stuff, glad to hear it!

@SamueLSD Oh, you're only 18. Holy shit, no wonder you fell for it... it's a lesson you'll have for life.

Disclaimer: this is NOT about finding a long-term relationship, because that is not something I’ve mastered. I’m talking purely about casual dating and sex. I’ve been reading this subforum lately and felt compelled to write this, because I get the feeling that most guys who post here need to hear this perspective. I see posts about how only looks matter, or about how it’s money, or charisma and extroversion, or whatever else. I see posts complaining about the online dating world, or the offline dating world, or how women only pick douchebags and assholes, or whatever else. And, first of all, whenever you start writing a post of that nature, or indulge in such thoughts in your mind, you’ve already significantly hindered your ability to get laid. That’s the first thing. And that’s because focusing on how you’re not getting what you want only leads you further away from what you want. Aside from the whole spiritual “law of attraction” aspect (I won’t be going into that at all), it demonstrates a lack of resourcefulness, and I can sense it a mile away from some of these posts. Now, don’t get me wrong, money and looks are assets in the dating world, there’s no doubt about it. However, they are not IT. IT is resourcefulness. If you really think about it, what money signals to a woman is the man’s resourcefulness. His ability to go out and get what he wants. His ability to assert himself in the world and make his desired reality go from desired to actual. That’s resourcefulness and that’s what women reward, whether they know it consciously or not. A woman wants a guy who wants her and who has the ability to get her. This sounds circular, but I can’t put it any more clearly. Much of what she’s reading off you when she’s getting to know you is your resourcefulness. Unconsciously, they’re screening you: “Does this guy sleep with attractive girls like me? Can he make it happen?” I’m going to use my real-life examples to argue the point, otherwise this will all be theory. First of all, I don’t have money and never have. I have enough to get by, but I’ve never accumulated any savings, and I make it a point to not pay for the women I date. I will occasionally buy them a drink, when I actually feel like doing so, and that’s it. If they’re expecting me to pick up the check, I don’t. So much for the money factor. You might think that I have looks then. Well, nowadays I guess I’m considered handsome, but this wasn’t always the case, not even by a long shot. I remember being ranked by teenage girls from my class as below average. I didn’t kiss a girl until I was 18. I was always shorter than most guys I hung out with, too skinny, and I still have crooked teeth. I have never had women flirting with me as I was growing up, and I would see them go for friends of mine, or strangers, always thinking that my looks were the problem. Today, I have maximized my looks because I am resourceful. I have one good outfit that looks good on me and I wear it on dates. I use a professional photo on my dating app profiles that makes me look good. You might think I’m very charismatic or extroverted then. Nope, I’m an introvert with low energy. I don’t do dancing monkey game, and I’m not particularly funny. I don’t do asshole game either. In fact, these days I don’t game at all. I’m completely and utterly myself, without apologies or insecurities. I accept every outcome. Then you might think that it’s because of where I live (though I've only lived here for 2 years). I live in Asia as a white man, and everybody knows that white men in Asia have it so easy. Well, throughout my life I’ve slept with women from 40 different countries, from all continents and backgrounds. So it’s safe to say that it goes beyond geography or culture. So what is it then? Simple, I’m resourceful. I make shit happen. I spent two years learning seduction because I wasn’t happy with the way I related with the opposite sex. That’s resourcefulness. I approached well over a thousand (maybe two thousand, who’s counting?) women during the daytime, on the streets of multiple cities throughout the world, learning as I went along. That’s resourcefulness. I got rejected by more women than I can remember, and just kept going and trying again. That’s resourcefulness. I consciously pushed boundaries and lost girls so that I could learn where the limits are and how much you can get away with. That’s resourcefulness. I’ve pushed through the limitations of logistics by leading women to sex on hostel bathrooms, kitchens, or buildings under construction, making shit happen where most men would have given up. That’s resourcefulness. I can fly to any city in the world, by myself, and within anywhere from a few days to a few weeks, I will sleep with an attractive girl there, whether it’s online or offline dating. That’s resourcefulness. When I think of a place where I want to live, you bet I'm going to take women and dating into consideration, along with many other aspects. Are the women there attractive? What about my perceived attractiveness? Maximizing that is resourcefulness. I still remember one time, in Lithuania, when I was teaching myself how to approach women. Early morning, I approached this cute girl who turned out to be completely available, so I spent most of the day with her. I was awkward on escalation back then, so I made a bunch of mistakes along the way. Of course, she picked up on these and rejected me. I just kept at it, pushing whenever I saw the opportunity, and at a certain point she let me kiss her and then said: "wow, you're a fighter, huh?". She didn't sleep with me, because I clearly didn't feel like I deserved her at the time, but the point had been made. What did I do after that? I accepted the rejection, continued to approach other women, and kept learning and developing my skills. This is what you want to develop. Develop your resourcefulness. It won’t happen overnight, nothing worthwhile ever does. Just don’t accept defeat by any means, if it doesn't work then try something different. Just try again, and again, and again. Learn from you mistakes. And have fun along the way ?