Markus

Could be two things here, probably both: lack of confidence and/or lack of social skills. For confidence it's important to be invested in your opinion of yourself more than that of other people. And in order to do that you need to uncover why you give a shit about what others think of you in the first place, and let it go. Shadow work or bottom-line contemplation is good for that. Also, immerse yourself in the sensory world. In social situations, focus on the sights and sounds of other people rather than your self-talk. It's a great tool that will instantly make you somewhat less needy. For social skills, there's several things. Eye contact, body language, storytelling, etc - some basic social habits. If you have those wrong, it can definitely increase the perception of you as weird. Personal development is generally considered weird as well, sure, but combine that with neediness and pure social skills and the weirdness grows exponentially. Poor social skills and lack of confidence can creep people out and disgust them. That's just a simple reality. I recommend reading "Models" by Mark Manson. It is a book on dealing with women but it does gloss over all the social stuff and basic social skills. It puts social confidence in perspective really nicely, I find. I imagine it would be a good blueprint for becoming more confident around people & developing social skills. You can delve more into the different topics covered in other materials.

I've seen some of his stuff. Self-proclaimed misanthrope who loves animals. That's the key issue here for me. He sees animals as innocent and humans as inherently evil, because unlike animals they have free will and understand the concept of morality. But humans don't have free will. I think it's safe to say he's not an emotionally healthy person. I imagine it's a pattern among vegans: anti-social people with a need to feel morally superior. That's not all vegans but a subsection of them.

Good for insomnia I imagine.

I'm awareness bruh. Awareness doesn't die because it was never born. Time is an illusion. Your question is all Maya. On the other hand, my life kinda sucks. I'm starting to see through my spiritual ego.

It's called a high concentration state for a reason It's all good. There's nothing wrong with you girl.

Leo will slap you in the face. But only if you let him haha. I don't and as result I have no results.

Cliff notes: fucking stop. Mahatma Gandhi called persuasion a subtle form of violence. Stop trying to convert people to your "religion". I have the urge too but question why you're really doing it. It's a distraction from actually practicing what you preach, you see. Leading by example is the best thing you can do. You can give your opinion on things if someone asks. You can help them out if they want help. If they want. You can't force someone to want something.

I have noticed I grow whenever I smoke weed. I mean I grow more stupid. It's fun.

Damn right I'm awesome. *reads post* Wait wh...fuck you. I guess introspection is appropriate. Dig deeper. Not just that you make specific judgments but what you feel when you make them. Why do they exist? I too notice that sort of a shift when I go into a social situation. There are some deep-rooted patterns that are more powerful than the "self-image bandage" you've created with self-help work. I personally like to bullshit myself about my self-esteem. As you think you have healthy self-esteem it might be useful to second-guess that. Don't bullshit yourself. It's stupid.

I think it's pretty obvious that a) pickup is much better for learning how to attract women b) a relationship is much better for learning how to have sex & sustain a relationship So what do you want? Answer that for yourself.

See a professional. Seriously. This is a very weird and specific issue that ordinary self-help people (read: the people on this forum) don't deal with.

It's rare as fuck.

My parents (or at least one) get mad when I tell them I think they're unhappy. And I'm like: "Duh."

I watched a video of his. He seems good. Who cares if you find something of his similar to Leo, shit is not that serious.

Love the "I'm right, you're wrong" post. It so persistently seems to be the case. Yet any digging deeper will reveal all my rational, thought-out, evidence-based decisions are just leaps of faith. All my motives are really in the unknown, built on assumptions I'm not aware of, but there's always a rationalization for why what I do is right and all others are lost and deluded. I'm lost and deluded, but at least I KNOW it, which makes me the shit. I'm aware of how I think I'm the shit because I think I know I'm lost and deluded, so that makes me the real shit. "Going meta" is another tool for the ego to enforce its grandiosity.

It seems to me from listening to his podcast that he does try to have a conscious dialogue with people rather than get into a debate. But then it turns into a debate as the other guest projects onto him and he starts defending himself from misinterpretation. I guess he doesn't quite fathom the egotistical nature of ideologues and how that makes it impossible to have a genuine conversation. All of the actual debates he's done are quite old (at least the ones on Youtube).

And what if "My time is now" is referring to the illusory nature of time and the presence of the eternal now.

@Afonso You need to uncover what's actually behind it. Feel into it and contemplate it.

Should and shouldn't only make sense in the context of wanting something. How would we know whether you should smoke weed any more than we would know whether you should keep playing tennis?

So you're convinced you can solve everything else but you're going to kill yourself because of not getting pussy? Ask yourself honestly: are you devastated because of the actual pain and discomfort or is it the social and sexual embarrassment? Understandably, I presume your love and interest in life is buried under the emotional stress you constantly experience and it seems like there's no way out at all. But you will be killing yourself for shallow and stupid reasons, ultimately, and it will be painful to your family. It's others that will have to suffer because of your decision. I don't say this to moralize, but I say this so you can perhaps get in touch with your empathy. Sex and social status? Fuck that. Try becoming a monk or something, and work at that for a few years. You might find that as your consciousness increases, you will, despite still having the physical problem and the pain associated with it, look back at your current situation as silly. Maybe. And maybe you'll find stuff to appreciate. Don't rush the decision to end your life. After all, whether you suffer less or more is ultimately irrelevant, since death is coming soon enough and after that it won't matter.

I guess being a lawyer is out of the game

"Yeah, wouldn't it be fun to jerk off, take a shower and then watch Leo's vlog?" That I think is the sort of attitude such desires stem from. Leo has a lot of content, for real. It would take you years to implement. You would never run out of things to work on. If you're serious about the things he teaches, stop begging for more content and get to work.

Have you read Being Human? That's the one he wrote shortly after his awakening (I think). I thought that would be the one going most into detail about his transformation. I haven't read it.

Good one.

Life purpose is basically whatever you prefer to do. We have unique personalities, unique preferences. It's not "purpose" in the sense that it ultimately means anything.