Bill W

I think this is a question for each individual and hard to give a generic answer to. Good question though. Some people can appear like they are tolerating something but then go back and drink or drug on it. Some people will end up hanging themselves or jumping off a bridge. Some will store it all as inner angst. Some people will simply say go fuck yourself and have a messy divorce from you or some might withdraw slowly from you, so discreetly you barely notice. Some might tolerate it as they expect no different. They might think they deserve no better. Not sure if this helps answer? Yes I do. Perhaps what is known around these parts as your shadow?

I don't have a clear answer to this my friend but it's good you are reflecting on this as I've been on the receiving end of people assuming things about my current state just based on facial expression. I'll also give you another more extreme example of this to help keep you open-minded (and I'm even guilty myself of assuming things based on facial expression even though I hate it when someone does it me!).... I am really self-conscious of my smile due to my teeth and also how I look when I'm smiling, so sometimes I don't smile a normal smile when people expect me to and they can interpret things from that, even though I'm smiling on the inside. This was a particular problem for me when my social anxiety was at it's worst as I would try and relax around people who were laughing and smiling big smiles with nice teeth, while I was there half-smiling and looking tense. I know I need to fix this, perhaps it's part of my shadow. It's great you are reflecting on this. I'd also point out that I think some people too much significance to the importance of body language. I know it can bring meaning to things or show something about how you or the other person is feeling, but I think some people over analyse body language. Like many things, body language can simply be a bad habit, the original reason for the body language might be long-gone or partially gone, but the habit remains, if that makes sense. Example, someone's facial expression and/or body language might lead the other person to think "this person is extremely anxious, extremely angry or extremely irritated" when in reality the person is feeling "mildly irritated" or even not at all. A wrong interpretation can lead you to change your behaviour during the interaction which can lead to a change in the other persons behaviour who is reacting to your behaviour and before you know it the whole interaction is becoming something completely different to both people's initial intentions! Can work in reverse too, someone with a nice facial expression and lovely body language might be fuming inside with how the interaction with you is going and you walk away thinking "that went well" because you attached too much meaning to body language/expression LOL. Food for thought?

@Antonius Thanks for the list. Considering one my fave all times is on your list (David Hawkins Letting Go) - I shall check out the other books on your list. Thanks.

On an individual level, I believe we don't. We might think we get away with it, but it's all impacting your Karma or whatever word/concept you wish to use instead of Karma. With deception I think it's like "buy now, pay later". The debt has to be paid at some point. You might not even know you are deceiving yourself or someone else, and then you might not even know (or have insight) when it's time to pay the debt and why you are paying this debt. The debt could be anything from failed relationships, depression, anxiety, even suicide, loss of job, general feeling of angst, insomnia, you name it! Reminds me of a motivational clip I saw from a Christian preacher, he said "you can either pay now, or pay double later" - I believe he means that you can either wake up now and take responsibility or not.......... Thoughts?

I was shocked how backwards Dubai is on human rights. Some stone age stuff still going on there.

Nice one. Agree. @Aeris i like your points as well. @Truthority I have enjoyed a lot of your posts. They are like a guilty pleasure. Although this post feels like it's the result of you gagging a few times and then vomitting lol. I'd be careful about the whack comment as taken literally could be seen as a aggressive and crossing the line even if said in jest. Don't get yourself banned as you are probably needed on here. With Keiron I don't think he's what you think he is. He just shoots from the hip and is quite expressive in his posts from what I see. He seems a genuine person. I don't think he is someone that needs calling out on a post that's directed at Leo.

Lol what you been smoking?

I'm not even sure why so much political discussion is allowed on the forum in the first place. It seems out of place. Are we supposed to be discussing politics and all this extra speculation at times on where various politicians are on the spiral dynamics lol

Based on my recent experience of massive devilry with previous partners, to the point of I am almost indifferent about whether I stay single forever now or not... So for me, not sure on the validity of set questions at a first meet but I sure as shit would like to keep an eye out for these potential traps. Is the person predominantly in victim mode where most of the wrongs in their life are down to someone else or other people. There are certain exceptions to this such as serious trauma or the person might have trapped in some horrid domestic abuse situation you never know. But I am talking about people who love to blame and project. I'm not looking for the perfect person, God knows I am full of my own character defects but please just take some fucking responsibility is what I feel like saying to some people (that's my rant). I'm even sounding like a victim myself and blaming others! I also have to think about why this has happened in recent years and what my part is. So yeh I'd like to assess for self pity and the world has screwed me over mentality and run a million miles if you see it or smell it on a first date.

One of the interesting things on actualised.org is that if you believe you are God it is not a belief. Debates around this often end with something along the lines of "it cannot be explained in words, it is beyond language". Reminds me of a line from a great book on relationships written by Harville Hendirx and I paraphrase. He was saying that early on in a relationship things can be great as there is a merging of reality and an accommodation of the other persons reality, a honeymoon period of open-mindedness and tolerance, but then problems can develop when both parties decide their reality is the correct reality and they no longer wish to compromise. I love these parts from the original post, it's like what I want to say but I cannot articulate it as well....... I guess the come back could be that this is also a limiting belief...... that all beliefs are limiting! I guess it depends on what you do with the beliefs as to whether they are limiting? Could some beliefs be limiting in a healthy way? There's definitely strong attachments to beliefs all over this forum, probably me included. I then think that it depends on what damage (if any) these attachments cause? Most people with strong attachments believe they are right for having these strong attachments, that these attachments are required. A bit like a quote I once read along the lines of "of course my opinion is right, I wouldn't hold it if it was wrong"!!!!!!

Hi, meditation really helped my insomnia. Getting off to sleep has always been my problem. Once I'm asleep I'm usually okay. However my view of insomnia is that it is a day time condition manifesting at night (unless you work nights!). So what I mean is that for me, insomnia tells me I am not handling my day time shit well enough. For me it doesn't matter if I practice good habits the one hour or two hours before bed (well it's better than nothing I suppose). What helps me is the dipping in and out of meditation during the day and evening. This could be as simple as 5mins four or five times a day but preferably 10mins four or five times a day. This could include things like mindful walking, mindful cleaning and mindfulness in the bath or shower. The more little stretches in the day the better i usually sleep. I found it all adds up to helping to control monkey mind. For me, multiple small meditations have a greater benefit than say one or two longer sessions. Hope this makes sense. I also consider deep contemplation as a form of meditation. Also reading selected lines of inspirational text with high concentration is a form of meditation for me. Sometimes we need to clarify what we mean by meditation. I never actually practice do-nothing meditation. I always have one focus I give my attention. Sounds is a good one or the texture of something.

@kindayellow Sorry to be off topic but I absolutely love your signature. So true!

@RickyBalboa Yes, The Power of Habit is awesome. One of my favourites. My other best books are - Alcoholics Anonymous aka "The Big Book" - Dancing With Life, Phillip Moffitt - The Buddha Said, OSHO - Letting Go, David R. Hawkins - The Mastery of Love, Don Miguel Ruiz

Why don't you contact the US military and ask them when they are testing a nuke next. Get yourself a front row seat. If you survive the blast try to get to a working laptop before you die of radiation poisoning and let us know how your doing. Only one person needs to die for it to be a beautiful experience for you. Opt for the agonising radiation death over the instant obliteration death please as it would make for a fun journal on here.

You are never alone my friend! There is a thread on where we are all located. This thread will soon be teleported into the 55th dimension and be merged with that thread. I've definitely seen people posting on here from Croatia, Solvenia, and Romania. Not sure about the other Balkan regions.

Notice your assumptions. Oops. My bad.

The book Letting Go by David Hawkins Alcoholics anonymous text book (I'm serious) Some of the work of Don Miguel Ruiz Also worksheets you can find online based on CBT principles. Things like the pros and cons of taking a certain action and how the cycle of thoughts-feelings-behaviour can keep you stuck in a mindset that is self defeating and self sabotage. Not taking revenge and/or immediately stopping all punishment is the performance of advanced emotionally intelligent and mature people. I for one have not reached that level myself. Easy to talk about, hard to achieve. Well worth trying to achieve!!!

This is why you have a problem. Once a day is more than enough. Even once a day is pushing it. Gotta cut down on overdoing it. Do something else if it has started to become a distraction. Or it could be your hormones if you are young.

Drewnows is from a foreign country called USA which is the same foreign country Leo is from. Although I am not sure what foreign countries all the Gods on here are from lol. Probably better to ask them what foreign universe they are from.

I am from England. Which foreign country are you from? My name is Bill W.

Looks like Leo needs a new personal secretary.

If you go down the AA route, stopping alcohol use is only the beginning. AA has more to offer than anyone can realise, unless you have experienced AA for yourself and PUT THE WORK IN. Self honesty (total not just partial), willing to keep an open mind, and willing to surrender self centredness equals success for you in any 12 step programme you choose to engage in.

Lol. I remember the days when you have replied with a big essay. Yeh keep it simple. Don't get riled up. I like it dude.

There is a thread about our location posted in this part of the forum, so that's why I've selected this part of the forum here. I'm not sure if it's been covered before? I'm assuming if the location thread was allowed to run, then this might be okay? Of course, some of us would not see the relevance of this but it does interest me. Not for ego reasons, not at all. I don't mean it to be something where we compete for the most interesting, most "spiritual" or most rewarding job. I don't mean it in anyway to be a measurement of "success". Do you work full time/part time? Do you want to move on with your chosen field or look for something different down the line? I'm hoping answers like "unemployed" or "stay at home mum/dad" will be equally welcomed and valued. Or if you are a student, what are you studying?