roopepa

"Running from your shoes" as in trying to win/conquer/get rid of fear, rather than hearing the message. "Nonsense" -> "Non-sense". Not sensing. What does a baby do when sensing uncomfortable/painful things? Do they keep doing what hurts, and thinking "I gotta conquer this, I gotta win this fight, I gotta prove my worth, I gotta accept pain and awaken?"

IMO it is not a good idea for you to keep watching gore, or to take psychedelics. I had very similar beliefs / thoughts that you have, took around 5 grams of mushrooms, and had pretty much the worst trip one can have. Had to call an ambulance. Negative thought-patterns and (egoic projections) ensued weeks after the trip, and I had to spent time in psych ward. Took antipsychotics. Took me quite literally a year to fully get what happened, and to cut the negative pattern / let go the belief. The thought/belief/pattern that went down was pretty much like this: "God/Universe is pushing me towards suicide, because I have to prove my worth as a fearless, courageous, egoless person who cares only about truth." Today I see what was wrong so to say, what place these thoughts came from, and why they were false. Hope you don't see this as me imposing beliefs on you, but I want to say this directly. Take it or leave it... God is not pushing you toward conquering a fear. This is projection, aversion from emotional guidance. God needs nothing. There is no "your fear", and no fear whatsoever that needs to be conquered. There is nothing you need to do. There is nothing you need to prove. To put it more simply, there is no need whatsoever to watch any gore videos ever again, nor is there a need to conquer/"win" this fear.

Hear ya, which is why Actuality of Being has been resonating more lately. I kinda get the impression you're laughing at, rather than with, if you get what I mean. Not as constructive and helpful as it could be. Just pointing out, your experience is probably different.

"Actuality of Being is about the discovery of who you really are, and the realization of the true nature of reality. ... REQUEST A SESSION" ?

@Nahm Don't you kinda do the same thing? 150 per session?

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Yeah that's exactly what I said lol

Yes, you might be bi, or bi-curious. Pansexuality is also a possibility here. Though you don't need to categorize anything if you don't want to. Take your time, let things uncover in comfortable phase. There's a ton of resources online if you wish to learn about these matters, and also perhaps other people who have same kinds of experiences, and who might understand what you are going through. I wish you happy times. ?

How I see it, it's really not the involuntary celibacy that triggers hate / judgement in people, it's the misogyny, ideology, the general blaming others for ones own feelings and experiences, the self-pity. Most people seem to project and build ideologies and prejudices though, so that's not only an incel thing, it's widespread emotional suppression and aversion. Perhaps this is just very visible in incel ideology / community for the outsiders, so they kind of fall into the same trap of projection. What you wrote there, is thought / belief and can be let go, if you're willing. If you're not feeling good about you, your life and intimate / romantic relationships, I'd like to say that it is possible for you to feel great about all that stuff, if you want that.

Happiness is truth. Jesus saw some babies nursing. He said to his disciples, "These nursing babies are like those who enter the kingdom."

People are here because they resonate. For their whole lives they have been told they're not enough, that something needs to change about them, and that there is hard work, facing fears and becoming better to be done. All the energy is wasted in maintaining this false identity / narrative, and you're actually feeding it, not breaking it apart.

Damn, I'm sorry to hear that. I'd probably speak with her about how I feel, and share those final moments with an open heart. Leo's advice is solid, I agree, go day by day mindful, express how you feel to someone who listens, a therapist or a friend. I'd say expression is the way here. Also, motherhood is something very special. In some sense, I'd say all women are mothers. "See all women as mother. Serve them as your mother." Maybe letting some guard down and meeting a woman with an open heart, like a child, could be helpful. This is my intuition talking.

Oh so you're not using the PMs at all anymore?

Haha yeah, I know what you mean. ? Just place the palms as if you would be doing a christian prayer. Don't get too hung up on these details. Most fundamentally, this Kriya is about a straight spine and spinal breathing. These details are secondary. Listening how the body feels and reacts will guide you. Be clear with your intention as to why you're practicing, the guru is present.

@Leo Gura I appreciate the time and work you put on keeping this forum running on your standards. You show great integrity and capability. ?

There is no word for "creepy" in finnish. The closest translation would be "scary" or "horrifying". "You're so scary!" That'll sure get a lad laid.

Sorry, did not watch the video, but will later. I wanted to share my thoughts about solipsism and hear what you guys think. So basically I see a problem in solipsism, which is that -ism part. When people hear / think solipsism: "only my bubble of awareness is actual", that is a step away from direct awareness, silence, and formlessness. I'd say solipsism is form. What freaking "my" "bubble"? At this point might as well go for materialism. Who gives a shit when we are this far from direct experience and meditation already? And even though solipsism & formless were the same, why not use the term "formless"? It makes it far more less likely to fall into the trap of ideology, belief, thought-attachment and thus suffering. "Formless / Boundless / One" is IMO far more descriptive and useful pointing for direct awareness than "solipsism". I get a sense that some people just wanna get edgy, wanna measure their dick as in who is "brave" or "spiritually mature" enough to "handle" or "face" this alleged bitter pill of solipsism. "Solipsism" only feeds thought-attachment, belief, and ego.

@Raptorsin7 I find it odd that so many men seem to be stuck in this attractiveness-thing. It's not just about the looks. Relax a bit. See how you feel with people, see how the communication runs, see what you find beautiful in their ways of expression etc. Think with your nose, ears, legs, mouth, chest, throat, hands, fingers and toes. Not with the dick and the brain only. Nothing wrong in thinking with just the dick, there's just so much more in relationships if you're open to it. You may not think every woman is super hot and beautiful at the first sight, but if the communication and expression is right, the time spent together will be 100x better than with someone who might look super hot but the communication don't work. And that includes the sex too.

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By "corruption" I mean general structures and politics in the US that are clearly not in the interest of the general population. Things like: - the two-party system - lobbying - prison population - economic inequality - enviromental damage - shit healthcare system - shit welfare (if any) - shit education Meanwhile, correct me if I'm wrong, the US is literally the wealthiest country in the history of mankind. I don't think this is only due to the spiral development. Yes, it plays a part, but I'm pretty sure anyone above red would recognize how ridiculous the system is, if they just used a bit of critical thinking. Why isn't millions on the streets protesting already? What's going on? You guys need a good ol' revolution. Just by reading a bit about the things I mentioned above should make one see how poorly things are going. Is the propaganda really that powerful? Don't the people see how they are fucked over? Yes, this is not just about the US. Same kind of stuff is going on everywhere. But for me it seems like the US is doing way worse than it should, given the resources they have. In comparison to some european countries for example.

A while ago me and my therapist were pondering on how the humanity is doing. She asked me "why do you think there is so much suffering? Why isn't everyone just relaxing, having fun and thinking positively?" In the context of our discussion, she was basically asking what is keeping humanity from greater well-being. A few months ago I would have probably said something like "it's because of the ego" or "survival" or "fear" or "low consciousness" or whatever. But I've come to see that these are just narratives. There is really no reason, nothing true in following those thought-stories, even though they might seem to make sense. So I just sat quietly for a moment, until I admitted that I don't know. It seems like there is no actual cause and effect, no story, no reason behind this suffering and dysfunction in the world. Same goes with "why is there something rather than nothing". Blank mind, no answer. Why to even assume there is a "why", a cause? Why are people afraid? Why are people judgemental? Why are people aggressive? Blank. No reason. No cause. Things are what they are and that's it. Why don't I feel like Home, why do I feel separate from God and absolute being? Blank Any of you get what I mean? Such a peculiar thing.

I thought is was for those who seek truth. I thought it was for those who seek highest levels of consciousness and self-understanding. Which one is the truth? Consciousness, or levels? "Levels of truth." "Levels of formless." "Levels of nothing." "Levels of this." "Levels of ketchup bottle." What?

@Leo Gura Shut up already. How is it possible for you to tell all those stories about ego and self-deception and at the same time be this blind to your own nonsense? Anyone who has ever actually meditated more than 10 minutes see right through your bullshit. Simple meditation and emotional awareness cuts through it like a warm knife through butter. Literally anyone could make the same claims as you do. Your words are empty. They don't serve us. They serve you, your self-image. What is anyone supposed to do with your posts here? Endlessly contemplate and wallow in low self-esteem and judgement because you say they don't "get it" yet? That is the stupidest, most counter-productive role any guide could ever take. That has nothing to do with making others lives better - it's about pulling them down with you. Fuck your trips and god-realizations. Why should anyone spend years tripping and watching your videos if the result is what we see here - doing nothing but claiming they have understanding that others don't. Fucking laughable. Start writing poetry, heal people or whatever else so we see what you actually got. If you don't have anything else to say than "I understand, you don't", then you might as well shut up. That has no real positive value for anyone. And don't come saying "my work is about understanding, not about feeling better or a better life". You know exactly why your videos has thousands of views and why people come to this forum. They are looking to feel better. That's why anyone ever starts looking for depth and spirit. Actualized.org is not just a business anymore, not some personal project of yours. People trust you and follow you. When you see those people suffering and getting hurt, you have the responsibility. Just like CNN, MSNBC and Fox News. Take your head out of your ass and see that there are others around you. Stop playing a philosopher when someone comes to you suicidal. Those people asking for help are the people who watch your videos and read your posts. They are a part of your work.

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