JohnnyBravo

@Wisebaxter Yes I definitly have my agenda to get my own ideas confirmed. Absolutly im biased. The documentary i helped was actually on Social media. Core idea is social media is dangerous. Online dating I find it messes with the courtship process somehow. It cheapens the magic of meeting someone. It also reduces people to objects very quick (at least this is a mindset that is easy to go into). Yes im glad its helped people meet. Nothing bad with that, good for them and all their fortune. For a single guy or girl, i would beckon them to avoid online dating at costs for their mental health. Sorry i cant give reasons. Its just an intuitive and experienced based opinion of mine. I find it unnatural and an opiate or poison with a slow drip effect. Imagine a person who has been on a variety of platforms, swiped/messaged 1000s of people, been ignored or ghosted 100s of times, paid money for premium memberships, been on dates that were not fun, or been on a good date but never heard back from their other because dating online has this dynamic sometimes. Online scammers robots, fake identities, underage people....If a person has been 3 years of doing this, try and convince them their self esteem doesnt get crippled somehow. 3 years, no online dating, big deal. Its just 3 years single. Time and money and effort involved is better spent going to bars, meetup groups, social events for a solid 6 months. Plus its so much more fun. There is a richness of life to enjoy doing this. Online dating, where is the magic? Where is the richness? Where is the chemistry? People are reduced to calculating the other. Dont be put off by online dating because of me. This is my opinion. I have watched friends get very blue due to online dating. they get resentful at women.

Why are you enjoying the feeling of lack of worth and doubt? What do you gain by basking in this wound-like heavy feeling? Whats at risk of feeling and knowing you are good enough and that you are ok?

If you ever get the beauty to say, "I am in love." Dont share it here. Already it is a tabboo because it makes people uncomfortable. The temptation to interfere and diagnose and be talked out of it is too delicious for someone that has never fallen in love or is cautious to make sure it never happens to themselves again. Falling in love- in the teenager sense- is beautiful. It is a rare occurance. Dont allow me, or a book, or a Youtube idiot talk you out of it. Fully go into it. When you are 70 years old, and your grandson has the courage to share with you that he has fallen in love with a woman, you will smile tenderly.

I feel you. Change is actually one of the hardest things to do on the planet. Talking about change as an idea VS actually changing is elusive. This forum and Leos videos are all about talking about change. Credit to Leo he is aware of this blindspot. The answers from other users are going to Flood in for you in the next 24 hours. You can cherry pick what you like. Everyone will be quick to aggressivly shove a proposed solution down your throat. May I ask, what drives this desire to change? What has happened? What has spurred this on? A girl? Parents? School? Pressure?.....we can help if we understand.

@Aeris If somebody manipulates me or severely lies to me, what attitude can I have about it? Not a trick question Im sincerely asking.

@Alex14 Have fun on the date. You seem to have an external locus of control with our approval. Work over the years on attaining an internal locus of control. Meaning, do what feels right to you even against the opinion of trusted others.

Go right ahead and fully explore this. To fall in love, you have to be willing to be a fool and totally lose yourself. A heartbreak is possible, but the soaring of being in love is worth 10 heartbreaks.

I would say eventually yes. Meditation will make you see into the heart of things. You dont see as much nonsense. So if the self doubt is a bunch of beliefs or deception, with meditation over months, you may still have the self dount but be hyper aware *why* the self doubt is in your mind.

Couples have met online. Yes fact. Online dating yet has something.......not good about it.

You cant. Sadly our brains are too smart for this. You secretly and transparently know it is artificial. Anything artificial in life has no influence, including such an idea. But I empathise the desire to do your school items. Here is one technique that I used on nearly every assignment or essay I had in college. Take the essay question out (or assignment or project). Just the question or the assignment description. Have a blank piece of paper and pen. Yes very important for pen and paper to be non-digital. Set timer for one hour. Now, simply read your question and allow yourself to daydream and think about anything that pops up with the question. Write those things down. This is a very messy (and fun) process of association. Just allow yourself to think of all sorts of anything. Dont try and answer the question (although if answers arise you can write them down). The only success for this is to sit down for one hour. If you only write down one word, its a success. If you do this, you will KNOW what you need to do and you will be surged to do the assignment with ease, speed, fluidity, quality and comprehension.

@Actualizer777 Some useful answers here already. I have a different spin on this; this style of loneliness you speak of is a thirstiness for you to connect to yourself/inner voice. Once this is filled, people will naturally be magnetised towards you. Loneliness- the feeling- should not be treated as a light remedy phenomenon. It is a yearning for inner connection. Odds are, you would feel this loneliness even if you had a social job or friends. Though it wouldnt manifest as loneliness, it would come up as feeling stressed or unsatisfied. Im not saying embrace the loneliness. Im saying embrace yourself, and the loneliness will vanish as a consequence. Dont tackle the loneliness; you will miss the calling. Tackle the inner connection....

This post is dangerous because if people grasped the significance of it, much of the dating section of the forum would be intactive. Great post. What a hit oxygen reading this.

Theres alot of things here I disagree with, and Im relcutant to share because Im scared of gonna be judged and seen as 'negative' towards yourself and the effort you put into this post. The core thing id like to point out, is that Im glad you have found something that works for you. And I am glad your ideas about how men and women relate, or how women 'really are' or what a shit test 'really is' has worked out for you. My sharing is that, these are theories (and maybe your truth) that run well for you. This isnt necessarily how things 'are.' For example, what you or the community would label a shit test, I would just call playful flirting. Im not saying this is definitly how it 'is.' Just highlighting theories must be known that they are only theories.

For the life of me, sometimes I dont know how or why I chose to keep living life. It makes little sense. I had a troubling upbringing. Parents that didnt care. A school with an agenda to make me feel inferior. A religion that shamed me for even smiling metaphorically. When I was 15, I wanted a wife. 16 never happened. 17 still not. 18 no. 19 I felt suicidal. "Enough is enough, i refuse to go on. Why am i going to torture myself? I am pathetic." I didnt kill myself at 19. If I killed myself at 19, I never would have had the experience of true love from a girl when I hit 21. My 15- 19 year old self would never have believed such a reality was posisble at all ever. But it happener even against my lack of self esteem and sensibility. I know that in 5 years from now, there are going to be some moments in life that are pure heaven. I won't ever see them if I exit. I refuse to exit until i get them. Henry Rollins once said that the thing that stopped him from suicide was raw spite towards the life Fate had given him. He chose to remain alive out of a "fuck you" to the universe. Find relief from your pain, but stay with us humans. We arent bad as a species and we need each other.

@Salvijus Beautiful.

Yeah I get you. Whats happening sounds very normal. Youre perging your being, and after this you are a bit shocked your running around doing all of these things for peace of mind when all that was necessary was sitting down for 15 minutes. With meditation you eventually see through all the nonsense people run around doing. You see the illussion of The Game and you see how weak the illussion is. You have a fear your life mission wont be accomplished because of this new relaxation you have about things. Its just a phase. Itll pass. Soon youll know in your heart youll fulfill your dreams like its inevitable. The tension will be gone. Once you know this youll feel light as a feather. Until then, extend your sessions. Try 30 minutes at a piece for the next 3 months.

Lets define friendship. Someone you can be yourself around and not be judged. Someone you trust. Mutual seeing each other for the real you. To me, friendship facilitates enlightenment. You dont wear your mask around friends. Imagine walking around 24/7 with no mask on because you feel so safe, connected and trusting of everything? To me, friendship of sincerity has a lack of attachment on a certain level. The investment is not a pressure but a free happy choice. And here is the thing.....a real friend you never ever ever ever question losing them. You KNOW you are connected for life. The thought of losing them or the relationship falling never comes to your mind. The intimacy is that profound. Hence why friends you havent seen in 5 years, when you see them again, its as if nothing has changed. Nothing was ever lost. So i believe genuine intimacy with friends dissolves the ego rather than strengthens the masquarade. Look at couples that have been together for 20 years out of their own choice. They are extremely humble. Such couples are not common....

Hey I just want to say I have been doing cold showers for about 2 years now, and since doing this, I have NEVER been sick. Cold showers (they don't even have to be icy freezy) will ensure you never ever get sick for the rest of your life. You will NEVER have a cold or flu or small virus like that ever again. All your coworkers will be sick and you will be the only one healthy. I feel sorry for people that gets these small illnesses every so often. A cold shower prevents all this. It is so simple and easy.

@Joker_Theory Lao Tzu didnt bother with Enlightenment. He would find the idea laughable. For Lao Tzu, being ordinary and tending to day to day things was beyond enough to feel satisfied. He was not ambitious at all. If you can grasp this quality enjoyment of life in the ordinary, then to me that is beyond enough. Why bother with Enlightenment at that stage, you ask a relevant question. If you are apathetic about Enlightenment and the pusuit of it, you are doing well. If one has ambition for Enlightenment they are in the wrong place. So to me when I read your question, I actually think you're on the right path. If it happens, cool. If not, who cares, Ill come back another lifetime. Until then, I have a load of washing to tend to and I need to mop the floors.

Doing nothing is not coming from an attitude of being a coward to take an action. It is also not coming from a place of helplessness or "well there's nothing I can do so I will just give up pathetically." I am talking about a very unique style of letting things happen by themselves. If someone has never tried this before, then I empathise with them that I sound like some witch hippie warlock diasscoaisting wishful thinking type of airy fairy idea to make someone feel better. I have met people like that, and they say "Just relax man, let the Universe do things man." And to me, when they say this they are coming from a very different, weak positioning on it. They don't properly understand, so their words have an emptiness about them. I am referring to a phenomenon I have practised in my life that has produced results, satisfaction and easiness. It is a basic Taoist application. Whats the polar opposite of Taoism? At a guess, it would be harsh brute force, interfering, fear of missing out, fear of missing opportunity, effort with a nauseousness to it to produce something. If you cant do this do nothing/allow things to unfold with dating this girl, then at least give it a go in another dimension of your life. Once you gain enough understanding of the beauty of this technique, you can try it when you go on a date or talk to a girl you like. Please understand, don't confuse this with me implying it is a tactic or strategy to get what you want. The understanding is more advanced than that. It's just an understanding of how Life works, and let it unfold. As a very basic example, Morgan Freeman was asked what his secret was to meeting women. He said many things amongst he has respect for women, and he enjoys women company. But one of the biggest things he said was "I don't do anything. I don't have a secret. I allow them to come to me." If you ever do classical pickup for a while, if you are intelligent enough, at some point you see the futility and stupidity and insanity of pickup. Eventually you realise you were good enough all along, and there actually isn't a secret or anything. This is an understanding that can only flower from within; I cannot teach it to you. You may grasp it in 5 or 10 years from now or sooner. But this is one of those things that once you learn it, you cannot unlearn it. Good luck. All the best.

@Wisebaxter I was prepared for an attack back from you and you have surprised me. Your adult receptivity to this strangely has more impact on me than you think. Much respect. 95% of forum behaviour is just nothing but putting spikes in other people. F you. F you back and on it goes. The merry go round of hostility. You have broken this cycle and that deserves a gold star. Honour yourself for being a human. (Btw I am not perfect).

One year left? Id do nothing different.

Youre abusing this baby by using the photo in that respect. If this photo has weight for you, youd be selective who to share it with. When that child reaches 20 years old, you will sit down with them and confess that you used their photo, and your gesture, for you to get laid with lots of women. You are willing to use that baby, not even a child, to facilitate your want to sleep with women. Im sure Owen Cook would hi five you. Please contemplate what the drive is to sleep with women. Where has the mutuality gone? Should other men aspire to this? Look at what youre doing, and if you're still comfortable, then you have my blessing.

I notice the joking around this subject has something to it. Im curious to know what's under the jokes? Is there a discomfort arising when an online person is trying to say "I love you" whilst they are also honouring the sensitivity and sacredness and potential impact this may have on someone they have a bond with? Or is it funny because its just 'another girl' and nothing counts? Whats driving that behaviour to make light of something as special as this? There is an angry need to cheapen/depreciate this subject because this subject of intimacy and sexuality has wounded alot of guys, or, the lack of it and rejection of it has wounded alot of guys. Instead pickup and pornography is the new replacement for human intimacy. Because in those areas, you are in control. Intimacy is about surrending control and having a two way respect that cannot be shared. @MellowEd Don't dismiss the significance of this stage youre going through. This is important; you saying this is important. Or the conscious decision to not say it is important.

"a certain point there becomes no difference between having fun and doing the "hard things." In other words, there is no dichotomy between personal development work and fulfillment/happiness." Ive noticed this also. Work and play no longer have a boundary; the boundary is vanished because a boundary is no longer desired. Everything becomes fulfilling. Because life is a constant unfolding (process), the words "work" and "play" no longer feel appropriate. Everything just gets experienced as a sure continuing of process. Life doesnt get sectioned off or compartmentalized any more.