Emotionalmosquito

@mr_engineer you know I’ve heard you say that elsewhere and that really sucks if true and I bet it is. People pleaser girls are likely the easiest but the potential risk is way too dangerous. Maybe you could mitigate the danger by making it very clear with her that you do not want to make any advances unless she’s absolutely certain she’s comfortable with it? And pay very close attention to her face and body language while escalating and immediately back off if you sense even the slightest hesitation or discomfort on her? I think that should be common sense with any girl but especially on people pleasers for the reasons you’ve stated.

Good fucking god man. If I had that many women to practice on I would’ve never ended up in this hellscape. It’s like Leo repeatedly says, it’s absolutely critical to be in a bigger city if you want to learn game. How can people like us acquire enough money for that with zero skills? Moving out on your own for the first time to a much more expensive area is a monumental endeavor all on its own. So that stacks on top of everything else we would have to work through. They say the most realistic way to self improve is to take small but consistent steps in the right direction. How the hell is that going to work if we’re straight jacketed by an entire network of colossal challenges we’ll have to somehow break out of before any real results are seen? Especially considering the only tools by which we might break out of said challenges are a mind and spirit utterly broken by years of self destructive behavior? At what point do we have to admit that the battle is just simply far too difficult for one person to ever hope to triumph? I know I know. More counterproductive complaining. You’ll have to give me a break if I’m ever to come out of this misery. It won’t be easy to start thinking positively when victim mentality and bitterness is pretty much all I know anymore. Do you have any clue how badly false accusations fuck people up? We’re talking thousands and thousands of dollars of court costs and YEARS of legal bullshit plus a permanently damaged reputation and zero sympathy or support from the public. This will throw corrosive acid all over an already enfeebled will to live. Wouldn’t it be nice if the process could feel fun and freeing instead of like a game of Russian roulette? That’s why I fear women. I know not all of them will do that. But if I’m stranded in a wilderness rich in berries and I don’t have a wild edibles guide book, I’d be wise to not eat any since I can’t tell which are which. Maybe actualized forum can be the guide book? I’ve had enough for quite sometime. It did the opposite in case it wasn’t obvious. The unrelenting defeats have stripped every last shred of motivation to improve I once had and driven me to all kinds of addictions like nicotine, kratom, porn, laziness, overwatch and negative thinking. I’ve lost damn near twenty five pounds of muscle and 99 percent of my drive to do anything productive over the last couple years. It doesn’t help anything having a sub average iq and being a slow learner and mildly autistic to make matters even worse. So that’s where I’m at. All I can do from here is use what minuscule amount of drive I may have left to try to get back on the horse. It will be a full blown miracle if any momentum is gained. I don’t by any stretch of the imagination see how I’ll ever be able to move to a bigger city from this crippled position, so if it’s at all possible to get a just a few solid girlfriend experiences within my town of about 50-70k, that’s what I need. I’ll work on that.

Finally you’re talking my language

So you broke up with her because you felt guilty about miscalculating your finances which caused you to have to cancel the trip y’all had been planning and because the destructive behavior of her friends was negatively affecting you as well as possibly interfering with your ability to forecast your money for the vacation properly? Doesn’t sound terribly unreasonable aside from maybe being a little too hard on yourself for making a mistake. But then again I have zero relationship experience whatsoever so wtf do I know?

Also, just a couple days ago I was talking to a girl on this online chat room game. I asked her about her race to which she said Hispanic + Asian mix. So I was like that’s funny, I didn’t know Hispanics and Asians had sex with each other, never heard of that combo before. She flat out ran away from me the moment I said that People are so squeamish

You know what, bro. I love this thread. It’s something I’ve been saying for years. Only I have a variation of the same thought. Sex is one of if not the most normal, joyful and basic things ever invented. People are so needlessly weirded out by the idea and the mention of it it’s incredibly annoying. It’s literally the reason why every single human and biological organism for that matter is alive and here. Yet women are slut shamed for it, men are called creeps and pervs for trying to get it, it’s censored and taboo in most cultures and so much more. Just think about how couples are so proud of showing off their new baby to the world then if the very act which created it gets brought up, suddenly the atmosphere becomes awkward and people start blushing. It’s absolutely absurd Funny you pointed that out because my dad just recently started admitting to me that if the dating scene was as messed up as it is now days when he was a strapping young lad, I would’ve never been born. 63 percent of young men today are single and sexless, that should tell you something. It was a wildly different time back then. People were more laid back and natural, unlike the internet and social media induced robotic thinking and behavior of people today. It only seems to be getting worse with each passing year.

(Answer the question at the bottom for anyone not willing to read the whole thing) @universe I will read the thread, don’t worry. I can sense that this thread is soon to be locked, but before that happens please hear me out. I’m sure to you more spiritually and socially advanced folks I seem to be doing a lot of projecting and reacting egotistically, and to some extent I probably am. Try to see things from the perspective of those of us affected by these issues. For example, (and I have numerous examples) just yesterday I was at a town gathering where I saw two girls that were perfect for cold approaching. They escaped me because I waited too long trying to psyche myself up to do the approach. See, the anxiety itself is not the problem, it’s the fact the anxiety cripples your cognitive functions to the point where it becomes impossible to convey your thoughts clearly or even speak normally, and that’s even after doing warmup approaches. The source of that anxiety is not fear of rejection. Who cares if she says no. It’s the imminent danger of being secretly filmed and defamed all over social media causing tons of other girls to hate me as well (there’s a huge trend where girls are doing this to guys at the gym for simply glancing in their direction) that’s not projecting or fear mongering, that’s objectively what is happening. If the girls decide they dislike you or feel uncomfortable with something you said or even just your “vibe” they can point you out to the cops claiming harassment and suddenly you’re in cuffs possibly being filmed and laughed at during the arrest. Ending up like that for simply trying to get a girlfriend would rocket propel almost anyone into levels of sheer psychological torment far exceeding what the human mind is built to withstand. This very well can and does happen and they don’t even need proof of you doing something genuinely wrong. Then you’ve got risks such as being maced, threatened or worse by her bf or random white knight(s), being bullied by her and friends, getting banned from whatever venue for reasons basically amounting to lacking social skills... anything can happen. These issues are further reinforced by all the other areas in life I’ve mentioned in which women are more advantaged than us, and by the fact that the male suicide rate is significantly higher. I realize this is a place of self improvement and I know it sounds like all I’m doing is complaining. Part of what I’m doing is venting, which the forum guidelines lists as acceptable. Though I’m also seriously trying to get this galaxy sized obstacle overcome. It has caused me deeper despair and hopelessness than I ever thought possible. I’m 100% certain the feeling is somewhere close to a mother who recently lost her children. The ONLY thing I want anymore I can’t have no matter how much effort I put in. I’ve reached the beginning stages of completely and absolutely losing my fucking mind. There’s no point in being alive anymore. All over being denied the ecstasy of having a decent partner to cuddle up on the couch and watch retarded Netflix shows with like other people have. Before this gets too much longer I’ll close on one final question I want answered if nothing else. How come when men bring up societal misandry it’s somehow considered projecting or egotism and we’re told to man up and get better or the thread just gets locked but when women talk about misogyny it’s taken a lot more seriously than that? Are men’s issues (which are literally driving people to suicide) not valid enough to be seriously discussed in depth? That in itself is a sort of meta sexism ironically enough.

In one of the vids from the how to get laid series I remember him saying something about how some of the guys who master the game start treating the girls they pull terribly I guess as payback for making them go through so much pain and hardship along the journey to mastery? For all the shit testing and ridiculous mind games they put them through? I’m interested in knowing more about such guys. Why do they do it? And what exactly are they doing to the girls? Emotionally abusing them? Breaking hearts and pitting them against each other for laughs? Revenge porn? I can’t imagine being able to hate women so much after gaining the ability to receive tons of love and affection from the most beautiful or even just cute ones. But I could be wrong. Is mind blowing sex and intimacy not powerful enough to purge grudges?

@Princess Arabia No. Simps are notoriously the ones NOT getting laid. A simp is a guy that worships women as goddesses despite their behavior. They commonly spend tons of money on girls they’ll never meet just to get internet good boy points or mentions in their posts. Simps are guys that will watch a guy getting his ass beat by a girl then dog pile him or just verbally shame tf outta him once he does the tiniest thing to defend himself from her. Basically just guys that regard women as some higher entity in constant need of their aid.

I would say go on grindr and put “looking for more than just hookups” or something of the like in ur bio. But idk know much about Grindr so that might not be the nature of the community but could be worth a try, who knows

Is that because of the reduced energy that comes with age or because it’s seen as socially weird to run game on younger girls? That’s why getting laid for those of us with the more autistic brain type is harder than sniping a chia seed with a BB gun from across a football field while blind folded. Is it not just comically absurd how the gender dynamics are set up in such a way than the guys have to flawlessly jump through miles upon miles of obstacles with the end goal of getting laid when all the girls in question have to do is make the decision once she’s deemed him worthy? That’s why it seems spontaneous and unplanned to them, because they aren’t the ones who have to put in 95 percent of the work to make it happen

@Princess Arabia @PurpleTree You people are taking that too literally. The panties thing was just a fun way to say sex Aka SIMPS. Simps are the exact opposite of high value

So basically you treat them like sex objects and that’s what they act like back towards you? Teach me. But you also have to admit women are the ones with most of the power when it comes to the night life scene and dating in general, and they can be pretty nasty themselves to guys with suboptimal social skills or just guys that don’t look so good. That might be one reason why the skilled dudes like to be mean, to help even the odds so to speak. @StarStruck True. And I can definitely see how karma would come into play

@something_else actually I’m stationed in Midwestern US. Expenses could be much worse if I was in a huge city or along a coastline, or god forbid married with kids ?? But even though things could be much worse that doesn’t mean it’s not already completely undoable as is. I can’t remember the exact stat but I think it’s something like a whopping one third of millennials are financially unable to move out of their parents house even with jobs

All the self love in the universe won’t be enough to get girls to throw their panties at you. You need serious skills and high value to achieve that.

@something_else you literally cannot save any money at all if you’re like most people. Between gas, food and rent alone you’re left with absolutely zero money to spare so how is saving possible? I would have it made if I was living in my own place AND able to save 20 percent of my income

I don’t need any more self love, I already have plenty of it and it’s not getting me anywhere. What I need is results.

When they don’t pretend to have a boyfriend during your conversation

Actualized . org also says to talk to more people to get better at talking to people so it’s not really opposite, it’s the same

So in other words pretend like you’re not attracted to her at first? What about the fact that they already know exactly why you’re there the moment you start talking? Seems like being vague about it would just make you come off as dishonest.

Two words: retroactive consent. Unfortunately it does not even matter if if she’s sober or not or how much evidence you have of her consent. At any point in the future she can withdraw her consent and boom, you’re paying thousands of dollars on a lawyer just to increase your chances of not getting locked up for 5-10 years. Not only that but even just physical escalation on the initial approach can get you a sexual harassment charge if you don’t know exactly what you’re doing. And how could you if you’re a noob at pickup? Trying to get a girlfriend in the current era is like playing with fire.

We literally built everything from the ground up and all the modern luxuries of today for them, and now they’re trying to say they don’t need men. Watch the Barbie movie.

You’ve got it sooo backwards, my friend. Women only love us based on what we can provide and our performance as a man. They care about our status, our intelligence, (intelligent, high status men meant better survival in the past) they care about how many other women want us. To back this up, try wearing a wedding ring a few nights out and compare how into you the ladies are vs when you aren’t wearing one. You’ll be shocked. Good luck finding a girl that doesn’t think you’re a total freak for not having much or any social media presence. Now does that sound like a deep, soulful form of love or does it sound shallow and materialistic as hell? If women are by and large these wonderful creatures, why is it so many of them divorce rape us and demand tons and tons of alimony/child support and deprive us of spending time with our kids then not give a single fuck about our suffering when we end up in absolute financial ruin and suicidal depression or in jail for failing to make the ridiculous payments? https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/dating/marriage-rates-decline-reason-economically-attractive-men-jobs-income-a9098956.html Heres an article to show you what really matters to most women. Imagine a financially stable business woman gets approached by a Starbucks barista guy. Then imagine a wealthy businessman meets a Starbucks barista girl. Which scenario do you think is more likely to lead to a relationship? Men are the true love junkies. We love our women so fiercely we would do anything to protect them. We love and honor their minds, spirits and every last molecule of their bodies from scalp to sole. The intoxicating effect of their affection would be a schedule 1 controlled substance if it were to be put in pill form. From personal experience, I can honestly say the very few instances where women have given me positive attention and affection were so mind numbingly blissful the only thing that exceeds it is a powerful psychedelic experience of universal oneness. Women simply do not love us back with that level of intensity. They aren’t built that way. The first half of my post proves it.

@Leo Gura College campuses?? Aren’t the campus cops gonna inevitably show up to ban me when they notice a guy that doesn’t even attend the college going around talking to all the girls? Keep in mind staff members of bars have barked up my ass and even banned me for joking around about stuff that literally isn’t even half as bad as some of what you’ve gotten away with. If one single person complains about me for whatever reason I’m toast.

This describes me perfectly. Except I don’t need the girls to be exceptionally hot (although that would be great) At least equal to me in attractiveness is good enough. It’s literally the only thing I want anymore, family, friends, career, money, adventure, self care, spirituality, freedom, love, connection, none of it means shit to me. I am beyond obsessed with the female body and all of its functions. The desire to bang tons of chicks and try out various kinks has become so strong it’s basically all I can think about anymore. And if I can’t have it? Well let’s just say I have absolutely zero interest in living another 60+ years in this rotten piece of shit world that treats me like garbage just for trying to bury my face in some prime healthy ? Number 1 problem for me right now is I don’t live in a big enough city where I have a sufficient amount of women to practice pickup on. Don’t have the money energy or recourses to move out.