Sukhpaal

Well this was wild to say the least haha, I wrote some stuff in my journal while I was tripping and I will post it below. During the trip (My writings in journal): Its so obvs right in my face lol I can't believe it WE come from nothing. absolutely nothing. I was created I'm not sure when but I was created a long time ago, I'm assuming around ages 3-4 Adopted belief systems, beliefs about myself and "reality" Started being egotistic as I always am since a young age and it became more evident as I grew older and "sukhpal" kept developing "sukhpal" is a character that had a troubled childhood. He has a good self esteem when it comes to appearance but no self esteem inside (no self worth). Sukhpal (I) has adopted this perception of reality and when something threatens it, it does not sit well with me. I am the character sukhpal, I'm completely made up I came from nothing but here I am to make it even worse Im a fantasy who has a fantasy always in his head I do this so I can escape from the present moment I hate taking the bus because it forces me to be conscious loves critiquing others, to avoid looking inwards. boxing/bodybuilding has developed me even more as a fantasy Everyone's just trying to do what they think is right we all have a self agenda self agenda comes before anyone as an ego self agenda- most deep and primitive desires "I" want the most accurate perception of reality first everything else is secondary states of extreme high consiousness can be pleasant but have to remember all emotional states are not permanent emotional states > ego > fiction > ? its disturbing to realize I dont exist and was just conceptualized by i have no idea but its relieving to know that i don't have to hold beliefs so tightly or cling onto this identity I've created my life is no different than a movie you'd see in the theaters just bunch of fictional roles playing themselves out trying their best to avoid the truth I've spent my entire existence, ever since I became an identity : Sukhpal, to run away from the truth 99.9999999999% of the time im running away Im not surprised Ive been running away and still am Its terrifying facing that empty void because that's whats really there Sukhpal (I) have been made up fear,anxiety,happiness,joy,euphoria,bored all are just emotional states to keep me alive "Im" lmfaoooooo Saying "I" sounds funny now everything goes out the window thats why I run from truth If I dont stay alive that means all my beliefs/models of reality get thrown out Its not easy accepting death as an ego there is no clear blueprint for the ego its way tooo complex to be broken down that easily My remaining life must be dedicated towards truth whether I reach enlightenment or not self agenda=self survival Aftermath (1 day later): I'm kind of in shock right now. I can feel the homeostasis kick in and try to get me to backtrack into extreme unconsciousness, which of course is expected. I kind of feel empty in a way because of the realizations I had during the trip but I wouldn't expect anything else so its not a big deal. I'm just worried about how I'm going to implement these learnings going forward. I really don't want backslide so far to the point where the trip was pointless. The power of psychedelics is incredible.

Hey guys, I was wondering if there were any really good books I could read regarding to psychedelics. I am interested in specifically learning how to take away more from my psychedelic trips. I want to become better at implementing what I learn from psychedelics, into everyday life. Thank you, and my apologies if this has been posted in the wrong section.

Well over the past year, I've had quite a few of mind fucks here and there but the biggest one came while I was on LSD. Majority of the beliefs I held, just shattered and I saw the emptiness in them. It was crazy because when that happened, I was so confused, I asked myself: Wtf am I doing? All this hate I didn't know I harbored, and all these other neuroses that were buried deep inside me came to surface. It all felt so pointless... These beliefs I hold so tightly are pointless. I knew that my beliefs were pointless before the LSD, at an intellectual level but to embody that understanding is a whole new thing.

Nice man. Also, you’re still so young. Imagine the growth you can create years down the road. Keep it up bro ☺️

I feel that usually those side effects occur if you take them in large dosage and have a bad trip. Of course if it is your first time doing it, you should be doing it in a low dosage so nothing surprises you too much and you won't have a bad trip.

Hey guys! Its been a few days since I had my LSD trip and weird things are happening. The trip was eye opening and amazing. But after that day, I’ve become super depressed for no apparent reason and sometimes I even cry. I’m assuming this could be a side effect from LSD withdrawal? (I have only done LSD once, which was few days ago) Thanks for the help guys!

I have never tried DMT, I did LSD for the first time few days ago. I’d recommend a light dose though, don’t try too much on you first trip. Goodluck ☺️

@Serotoninluv I think you’re on the money. I feel like its a combination of neurological chemicals and just my mind trying to go back to how it was before the trip. From what I’ve seen with other people is, most have an “after glow” effect for like a week after they took LSD. Whereas for me it has been the opposite, even though my trip was a great one. I feel that there are neurological chemicals at play but also just my mind trying to go back to how it was before.

Thanks guys for the advice! ☺️

Good luck to you brother!

Try not to chase mystical experiences, it can derail you from making actual progress. It takes time to reach that state without the drugs, it can take years or even over a decade. Stick to your daily meditation habit, and use psychedelics here and there as a source to super charge your progress/meditation routine.

Things started to get really bright, colors started sticking out a lot more than usual. Kind of felt like the LSD helped me hack into the matrix so to say. First thing I started noticing was how robotic I live my life. I have all these desires and urges that feel coded in me. I felt like I was some sore of software that was coded to act a certain way. And when I took the LSD, it felt like I realized something else was running my entire life and I had no control over it. Almost as if there were two "entities" in me, one being an ego that ran everything and the other still remaining unknown. It felt very confusing to say the least. I started noticing things I did not notice before such as certain patterns and colors. I tried not to get to absorbed in visual phenomenon though and sat down and closed my eyes. When I sat down and closed my eyes I started realizing some stuff that felt so obvious and right in front of me but I could not see it before. Two big things I learned was unconditional love for everyone not just those around me but even strangers! I felt this insane amount of love for everyone and everything but I noticed more about how I don't love myself enough. An issue I've had trouble tackling in the past years, has been with self love. The biggest take-away from the trip was, the love I was giving to everyone including strangers, to also give that love to myself. I felt it was easier to give myself love, when I started realizing more about how life isn't as serious as I thought it was. Everything I thought was so true, started feeling illusory. Many of my beliefs started crumbling. My monkey mind completely shut up for long periods of time and I wasn't even aware that it shut up until the LSD wore off. In some ways, I felt like a child again who was just in love with everything. One of the funny things about the trip was, at one point I looked in a mirror for like a long time and was confused what I was looking at... I'm like holy fuck is that what I am? LOL I feel like I know what I need to do in life more than I did before. I knew what my career path was heading down towards, but I feel like it has become more clear than it was previously. Overall, the trip was well worth it. Patience and love are two of the biggest components I took away from the session.

Hi guys, I had some questions regarding contemplation. When contemplating and asking certain questions, are you suppose to think about the answers while you are sitting there? Because I'm confused on whether you're suppose to use real intellect during contemplation. And even if I do finally get an answer from something, how do I know its true or am I just lying to myself? Thanks guys

Hey guys, I was wondering how "crazy" the trip is for like psychedelics such as magic mushrooms. I'm asking because, I currently live with my parents and I can't take so much to the point where I'm making loud noises or anything or else they'll freak out. The only place I can do psychedelics is at home, so I do not have the freedom to have huge trips at the moment. I was wondering what is a healthy enough amount of magic mushrooms to take without going "crazy". Thanks!

Woah that is wild haha

@Leo Gura I can handle the doing weird things part, because I live in a big house and I plan on doing it when they are asleep. As long as they can't hear a lot of noise I would be fine but if mushrooms make you do that, maybe I should wait for a better opportunity. @DrMobius I've thought about that but at the same time, I am scared of tripping in public and doing something really stupid hahaha, if I was more experienced I would try it.

Healthy food any day over supplements. Over time try incorporating both.

Yeah, that is the ego's job. To keep distracting you from looking inwards and finding the truth. Only paradoxical thing I was interested in was; Why would the ego want to become enlightened if it knows it will die in the process?

@hinawashi You might have been meditating more than me or maybe you're less neurotic than me? Hahaha Yeah it feels super good to go through that first small phase. It is a good indicator that the work you've put in is coming to fruition and it keeps you driven. Look at the big picture. You did that in 6 months, imagine you in 6 years if you keep doing personal development work.

@hinawashi I know exactly how you feel. I've been meditating for 14 months and I haven't missed a single day but recently I've had somewhat of a mini "transformation" I suppose. A month ago I just woke up one day and I felt really different, in a good way of course. To answer your question, I think it varies on the person. Everyone is different, not everyone is going to "transform" at similar times. For me personally it took a bit over a year but for someone else it could take less time or more. Just be careful, just because you've had that "transformation" does not mean that is all that there is. You can develop even more and you can still become depressed, angry, etc just have realistic expectations.

@Captain Flint Thank you for sharing that post, I found it very interesting!

I'm not an expert on the do-nothing meditation by any means but I can share my personal experience. I noticed I day dream WAY less than I use too and this helps me not get carried away in neurotic thinking. Also just a more sense of peace and being calm also comes with it.

Hey guys I was pondering on something earlier. If a person has a deeply wounded ego and does not truly love them self can they truly romantically love someone else? Like I know someone who says she loves someone but she hates herself. I think she loves him because of the validation he gives her because she has a very low self-esteem. So what do you guys think, can someone who does not love themselves love someone else?

@Ryan_047 Counselors are very open. You got to have faith if you want to make progress. When I made the decision to get counselling, it was one of the best decisions I made. Try it out and see if you feel comfortable opening up. You don't have to let them know everything right away, take baby steps and get a feel for it.

@Ilya Remember, they are people just like you. They feel pain, suffer, and have everyday problems just like you. Yes, they might have a talent or something that you don't have but at the deepest level, they are the same as you.