Trip Report: 50 Ug Of Lsd

[Sukhpaal]

Things started to get really bright, colors started sticking out a lot more than usual. Kind of felt like the LSD helped me hack into the matrix so to say. First thing I started noticing was how robotic I live my life. I have all these desires and urges that feel coded in me. I felt like I was some sore of software that was coded to act a certain way. And when I took the LSD, it felt like I realized something else was running my entire life and I had no control over it. Almost as if there were two "entities" in me, one being an ego that ran everything and the other still remaining unknown. It felt very confusing to say the least. I started noticing things I did not notice before such as certain patterns and colors. I tried not to get to absorbed in visual phenomenon though and sat down and closed my eyes.

When I sat down and closed my eyes I started realizing some stuff that felt so obvious and right in front of me but I could not see it before. Two big things I learned was unconditional love for everyone not just those around me but even strangers! I felt this insane amount of love for everyone and everything but I noticed more about how I don't love myself enough. An issue I've had trouble tackling in the past years, has been with self love. The biggest take-away from the trip was, the love I was giving to everyone including strangers, to also give that love to myself. I felt it was easier to give myself love, when I started realizing more about how life isn't as serious as I thought it was. Everything I thought was so true, started feeling illusory. Many of my beliefs started crumbling. My monkey mind completely shut up for long periods of time and I wasn't even aware that it shut up until the LSD wore off. In some ways, I felt like a child again who was just in love with everything.

One of the funny things about the trip was, at one point I looked in a mirror for like a long time and was confused what I was looking at... I'm like holy fuck is that what I am? LOL 

I feel like I know what I need to do in life more than I did before. I knew what my career path was heading down towards, but I feel like it has become more clear than it was previously. 

Overall, the trip was well worth it. Patience and love are two of the biggest components I took away from the session.

[Nahm]

@Sukhpaal Thank you for sharing!!!! Great report & I love you Sukhpaal!!!