SQAAD

@Tim R ahahahahaha

@Nahm No but it is safe to assume that others have their own 'private' experiences like i do. For example when i see an ant down on the floor, i always assume that this ant is having a 1st person experience of some sort. This gives me the compassion to avoid stepping on it.

@kinesin I don't do Wim Hof specifically. But ocassianally i might do some deep breathing for a while.

Non-duality is very hard for the ego-mind to grasp and understand. At least for my own ego-mind. It is so easy to believe that your Consciousness is located 'inside' your body when whenever you walk to, your body comes with you. It is like the only thing that stays constant with your wherever you go to. This of course creates the belief that you are the body and your Consciousness is located inside the body. To believe otherwise seems insanity unless you are in some deep non-dual state. That's why i believe non-duality is so rare. In this dream it seems like we are the body and that everything is generated from our brains. It is still really hard for my mind to reconcile all of this.

@Salvijus I believe that the more you purify your ego, the better your chances of having this mystical experiences. This time around i am not trying to gain an advantage over others. I really just want to understand God completely. Also i want to help others in some way or another like Leo and other people have helped me.

Today i had a Paranormal Experience while tripping on 30grams of magic truffles (3g dry). What i experienced was a Presence of a Yellow Light...... At first i was like ''WTF is going here, am i going insane??''. And i got worried and scared to be honest. Then i surrendered to it and it was Beautiful. Maybe the Most Profound Experience of my life.....Because it opened some new Possibilities for me.. I layed down in my bed, and there was this Presence of this Light that was kinda Comforting and Soothing. It felt like an Angel was on my side and telling me ''Chill out, everything is Always Fine...'' There was no verbal communication with this Yellow Light..... It was just vibrating and at certain points was becoming less dimmer or more yellowish.....This Light felt like something Beyond of this world, but also something that is always present with me... During this period of this 'Paranormal' Yellow Light i also experienced some deep intuitions/guidance about the future. (The advice of what my next move should be regarding my career). To be honest this advice was not what i wanted to ''hear''....... Let me counter some objections here... Firstly the dosage was super low (also because of tolerance) and i wasn't hallucinating at all. It wasn't like i was seeing trippy visuals or any of that. Secondly i am pretty sure this Yellow Light wasn't anything else 'external'. (I was just sitting in my room). Also i experienced this Light multiple times. Both with closed eyes and open eyes. It happened for quite some time and also multiple times which was the most astonishing thing.......... I really don't know what to make of all this.. I know deep inside that this a 'paranormal' experience and not a mere hallucination. Yet i am not sure... Even when you experience paranormal activities, the fear of losing your mind kicks and you prefer to deny it or rationalize it away. I am always aware of how easy it is to delude yourself , and that's why this experience was so difficult for me at the beginning... This experience opened some new possibilities for me and made me appreciate more the power of consciousness. I searched on YouTube and found some other people with similar experiences.

@acidgoofy Yes! Also I am no longer trying to grasp intellectually ,understand or figure out things i experience on different states of Consciousness. It's like trying to grab the air.

@outlandish Nice to hear this!! Yes it was also very unexpected for me also. It caught me by surprise... Now i really consider the Paranormal stuff Leo talked about in his 5-meo Outrageous Experiments video. What he said doesn't seem so crazy to me anymore.

@Kalo It is Nice to hear that others have similar experiences. This is super interesting!!

Why are we afraid of losing things in our life? I mean we all certainly do unless we are living in a cave somewhere. We are afraid of losing our health, our youth, our good looks, our money, our intelligence, our partners, our friends, our good habits, our spititual evolution, our skills and etc. Basically whatever you Love , you are also Terrified of losing that thing... Why is that? Is is because we are are Terrified of Unhappiness and Misery? Why do we care so much? All of my fears have their root in a fear of pain , suffering and misery. And why do i fear suffering? Just because it's very uncomfortable. I don't fear being old, sick or living in a tent. I just fear the misery associated with some of these things. I don't fear death. I fear that after death i may be in a condition where there is too much suffering or pain.

@snowyowl This is so true. And we can't really help ourselves too much. I mean we like certain things and dislike some other things. The only reason we like something is because we like it. The only reason why we dislike something it is usually because we dislike it. No matter how much Contemplation you do, it's pretty hard to like certain things (like Torture). Lol . But still i believe that if you reach insane levels of Consciousness then your likings may dramatically change. If we liked everything then life would be a paradise for the ego.

@Inva Yeah i agree. I view fear as something helpful for survival . It's a wise mechanism. But on the other hand i want to transcend the need to survive as much as possible. I want when the moment of death comes, to welcome it as much as possible.

@Shin They definetely fear Suffering more than death. Not everyone fears Death the same way. Sometimes i get heart palpitations and i am like 'mmm ok' and i brush it off whereas other people would get freaked out. The only reason why you would fear death is because you are afraid of what's afterwards. You don't know if it will be for better for worse.

@Question Interesting. If someone was really able to do that, he would no longer be considered 'human' anymore. At this stage you are more like a God, rather than a lil petty human who is only concerned about preserving his 'body'. Going against your own self-preservation is maybe the hardest thing to do.

@ivankiss It's a double-edged-sword..

@Shin No i don't care about death. I care about suffering and pain. Of course when the moment of death comes i may be quite terrified of it because i don't know what's next. But behind the fear of death is a fear of pain and suffering. I disagree with this whole concept that we are all afraid of Death at the root and that's it. I think we are afraid of pain, suffering and misery at the root. Someone who commits suicide, isn't afraid of death. He is afraid of misery. There are many people willing to put an end to their lifes just to escape the misery of their existance.

Thank you~!

I wanna share this story here so maybe i can get some feedback. I have been experimenting with Semen Retention for the last couple of years and it is one of my favorite things to do. It helps me psychologically tremendously like nothing else. Anyways the last 3 months i was on Semen Retention for 94 days actually. My intention was to Complete 1 year of Semen Retention (no sex also, hardmode). 3-4 times during this whole period were really really hard but i managed to do the right thing, practice Impulse Control and not masturbate. Other than these few hard times everything was quite easy and manageable (i have quite experience at this point). After 1 and a half month of semen retention i began to ejaculate in my sleep which was cool. The noctural emmisions were happening like every 1-2 weeks . At the final days of this Semen Retention journey i began to feel a mild pain in the groin area, a little bit above my penis. I think it was the prostate. I am not really sure though. The pain was kinda like a feeling of some sort of blockage. It was more of a Sensation of some sort of Blockage rather than a Pain. I can't describe it better. At day 94, i felt this blockage again and i got scared to be honest. So i decided to masturbate to avoid any sort of complications. I hesitated a lot before doing it but i felt that it was the right thing to do. Afterwards i felt very disapointed. Disapointed because i reached a point where i could keep my semen retention journey a lot longer but i had to stop because of this health concern. When i began to masturbate again, i noticed that i didn't ejaculate as much semen as i did before the semen retention. Also it seems like the semen took few seconds longer to come out after the climax. I really don't know what to make of all this. I heard a monk who was celibate for 8 years talking about some prostate exercises you can do to keep your prostate healthy because if you practice semen retention for many years there is a risk of prostate cancer they say. I don't know what's going on. I haven't researched all this extensively. I know many peole on semen retention for years who didn't have a single problem. So i was operating on that train of thought. Now the pain/sensation i felt during semen retention is gone. Maybe the pain i felt during semen retention wasn't something serious to be concerned of. I really don't know. I still want to keep practicing semen retention but now i think that maybe i need to masturbate maybe once a week/month.

@TheDao Interesting stuff. I don't really care about getting any orgasmic pleasure to be honest. What i want to is to be on Semen Retention for as long as possible without any health concerns. How do you circulate the extra energy??

@Salvijus Thank you , i will check it out.

@Peter Miklis The pain was not gone completely after i ejaculated. It was gone after couple of days though. It was more like a blockage sensation rather than a pain.

@Endangered-EGO Yes it is But after you reach an extreme level of Suffering, then it isn't that 'bad' or terrifying anymore. I thought that i had suffered in my life previously but no.. The level of suffering i experienced the last 6 months was beyond the scope of anything i could imagine. There are levels of suffering that your mind cannot comprehend. But God is infinitely intelligent. There is nothing to worry but good luck convincing that the ego-mind.

@Osaid After the Semen Retention, when i masturbated, i did not get the 'watery semen' that you've experienced. What i got was very much reduced semen volume which is still the case even now after couple of weeks. Great advice. Thank you~!!

@Osaid No. I wasn't edging. Maybe only while dreaming i guess. Also my libido remained normal , it didn't flatline. Is the build-up of prostatic fluid something concerning? I haven't heard about it. Do you think that i could continue my semen retention safely? I think i have experienced this mild pain other times when on semen retention as well but it went away with time. I am not sure though.

@Nahm Thank you~!!