SQAAD

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Everything posted by SQAAD

  1. For five years, I've been on a journey exploring spirituality. I used to not believe in anything beyond what science could explain, but then I found Leo & he talked about some really interesting ideas, like how there is not a 'self' controlling everything inside us. He also talked about using psychedelics to explore the mind and Reality. Trying mushrooms changed everything for me. It made me realize there's more to reality than just what materialism teaches.. I started meditating & tripping and having these amazing Enlightnment experiences, even connecting deeply with God a couple of times. But when I'm not in a spiritual state, I'm not sure if what i experience is God. I believe it's God but i can't know for sure in this current state. Lately, I've been through some really hellish, horrible & nonsensical experiences that have made me question whether God even exists. It feels like suffering has no reason at all & it's completely senseless & d*mb, and it's hard to see any purpose in it. Why would a wise, all-knowing God let that happen? Why would God let people suffer enormously (rape, torture, crappy situations, health-problems, suicide) for no apparent reason at all? It's not my problem that God allows suffering. My problem is that God allows senseless, Nonsensical suffering that seems to serve no purpose whatsoever. Sort of the suffering you would expect a d*mn mechanical Universe to generate. Suffering that doesn't stop & makes you wanna tear everything to pieces & end your life. It also bothers me that most people (not to mention all the other animals) never get to experience or understand God. And it's not great at all that I only feel close to God when I'm on drugs & i am always confined in this very limited, stupid state. All this seems very depressing and has made feel disillusioned with Leo's work. Nothing makes sense anymore.
  2. I found some LSD a few months ago and have tripped about 5 times since. I believe it's real LSD but i don't know for sure. It gives me a big boost in awareness without any bad effects. But twice, things went wrong. Once, when I was sleep-deprived, I felt a weird toxic sensation (that lasted for 1-2 seconds) in my torso after taking it. And the worst time was when I took LSD in the morning and then again in the afternoon. Afterwards I couldn't sleep all night and felt pressure in my body and weird ''crackling'' sensations in my neck and head. If i did not trip again in the afternoon, i know for sure i wouldn't feel all these bad effects. I was feeling great with my 1st trip until i decided to trip again in the afternoon.... I didn't realize LSD could be so goddamn strong. Now I haven't tripped for a month, but I want to try again without making the same mistakes. I'm scared though. Can someone give me any advice? Is the substance i am taking toxic or is it toxic when not taken properly? I have taken this substance at least 3 times without any issues whatsover. Also something similar has happened with LSA. I have taken it with 0 issues multiple times but once i took it sleep-deprived i felt a sense of electrocution running through my body..
  3. @DJ Comaschi Because God is essentially a Mind. A Mind has Intention and a Purpose. Dumb physical objects do not have intention or Purpose. Suffering is okay but it just becomes too much for my liking. If i was God i wouldn't allow for torture, beheadings and etc.
  4. @jimwell What about the millions of human beings who have lived a decent life full of Amazing Experiences for decades? Even if life is so sh*tty that many people end it, it's still not the majority of people who kill themselves. What about your heart, your kidneys, your eyes and everything that works so well? Isn't that evidence for a God who actually cares? Also why God wouldn't give a fk about his Creation? This doesn't make any sense whatsoever. If God didn't care, we wouldn't even have this conversation right now.
  5. @Ishanga When people create stuff, they care about their creations to a certain extent. Why an Infinite Intelligence who has created Everything with Incredible Detail just not give a fk about It's Creation?? What does it actually mean to say that God doesn't care? Also you haven't explained why God wouldn't care. Even if people kill themselves, they still may go live in another plane and ultimately all pain and suffering doesn't last forever. Life has its ups and downs. A God who cares doesn't mean that everything will go our way. But it means that in the Big Picture there is always hope and beauty to be found. A Random Universe would be totally indifferent. But God would not be totally indifferent.
  6. @Leo Gura I didn't realise that LSD was such a powerful stimulant. I won't trip more than once in a single day, otherwise the overall stress just becomes too much. Evening should be for your body to rest and come down of a drug, especially when dealing with stimulants. What's funny is that i have taken 2 tabs of acid once in the morning. And i didn't have any negative physical issues whatsoever besides becoming mildly psychotic. And when i took 2 tabs of acid, one in the morning and one in the afternoon, it was just too much. So it's not only the dosage that matters but also how you space it throughout in the day. Have you had any bad experiences when re-tripping (IF you have re-tripped) with LSD in the same day?
  7. @Grateful Dead Thank you for the positivity. I needed to read this. Sometimes Reality gets very very dark..
  8. @RendHeaven I think i was over stressed with high blood pressure because i tripped again in the afternoon. But nothing serious has come out of it. And only once i have felt this. Maybe it was also due to too much vasoconstriction.
  9. @Staples Nothing is really obvious. I have drank coffee multiples times a day and even sleep deprived with 0 issues. Same with magic mushrooms and many many other substances.
  10. @Thought Art Have you taken LSD in the context that i described? I have taken 1 tab of acid 3 separate times with 0 symptoms aswell.
  11. @Unlimited I took the same dose. I did feel some mild effects. But i was definetely not near as high as the 1st time. What i felt mostly was my body being over stressed. I should not trip in the afternoon but rest instead. LSD is a very strong stimulant and i think shouldn't be taken multiple times a day.
  12. @Razard86 I also believe that God cares. It doesn't make sense to be Infinitely Intelligent & create all this stuff without giving a damn about what happens to your creation.
  13. @Breakingthewall So you mean that God has no Will ultimately?
  14. @Razard86 What do you mean God is Love? Do you mean that God accepts whatever arises within it?
  15. @Leo Gura You've said in other videos that the Universe/God can have feelings & etc. Doesn't that make it personal? You don't explain why God has to be that way. Why God has to construct such an animalistic and vicious Universe where ''he'' doesn't give a fk what happens to you? If God can do whatever, he could create a world where he can incarnate and not need to kill other beings to survive. Also How would you feel living through the lives of the terrorists below? Talk about Living Hell ...
  16. @Thought Art Why doesn't it serve? I don't understand the reason why. Also opportunity for what?
  17. @vibv I wish i could access this WIll but i can't in this state of Consciousness.
  18. @Leo Gura I don't get it.. Why doesn't Reality serve us? If i am God, can't i create whatever paradise i want?
  19. @Thought Art Thank you for the solid advice. It rings true when i read it. I find it very hard & torturous to love sh*tty things...that as humans we don't like.
  20. @Leo Gura This is exactly why i don't like God. God puts people in horrific situations that they absolutely have zero contorl over, since of course there is no free will.
  21. @Princess Arabia Thank you for your loving and supporting post. It made me feel better and i really appreciate your gesture
  22. @UnbornTao I've had Enlightmnent experiences and at least a couple of God-realisatons. But these experiences don't stick with me . I believe in their value but sometimes they seem pointless because you always return to your usual, low, stup*d state.
  23. @Ishanga If it was basic level of Consciousness then most people would have it but they clearly don't. And noone is free to choose his level of Consciousness. Life traps you in a sense.
  24. @Thought Art Yes i know that God is an experience you can have and i've had that experience quite a few times. But now i don't have it.