Zigzag Idiot

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Posts posted by Zigzag Idiot


  1. The search for brutal Truth

    To awaken then die, then be reborn.

    Fall asleep. Awaken. Die in a new way. Bloom again.

    Wash, rinse, spin. Do it again. Become devastated then be born again. Shiny and new. Light hearted and light as a feather.

    Becoming identified = falling asleep ,,,,, again and again     Worn to a frazzle.

    Discovering dimensions and treasures,,, Love and loves,,, Loves and Love

    Empty yet full.  The depth of sorrow reveals yet more beauty and truth. Tears flow again 

    Love becomes hidden then appears again as an experience

    The eyes have died. Yet, the eyes have it! They see more than can be explained

     Depression vanished somewhere on the path only to be replaced by anguish. Deep contentment takes its place.

    My seeing becomes feeling. It feels the way. The Love has more depth, yet,  it is indifferent. Empty but full.

    There's no explaining it except I'm the same as you. 

    If I were ewe I'd be a lamb and you would be me. We could count sheep while we pee.

    In irreverence, we can go #1 together and laugh.

    Later on it will be #2. I would rather do that alone.

    #2 is dookie do. You have to relax to let go. It works better that way.

    There will always be difficult days. Life as a human being is just that way.

    Laugh and be free and you'll be okay. 

     

     


  2. Saints are the eaters of suffering

     

    Woe is man. Wo/man is half man. Man is 1/2 wo/man.

    Me oh my. ICU  and you see me. We both need Intensive care because ICU812.

    First I 81 then u812. It's just that way unless it's not.  A knot head, I am.  Sometimes with my guts in knots. Don Knotts, I am not.

    If you meet me. I will not be as you may think. I'm a very dead-pan man.

    I am a Fred Astaire. I will often stare at people.  Sometimes they are strange. No?

    Express from your Causal (Imaginal) body.

     

    Seth, the famous being channeled by medium Jane Roberts said something strikingly similar:  “Imagination and emotions are the most concentrated forms of energy that you possess as physical creatures.  Any strong emotion carries within it far more energy than, say, that required to send a rocket to the moon. Emotions, instead of propelling a physical rocket, for example, send thoughts from this interior reality through the barrier between nonphysical and physical into the objective world — no small feat, and one that is constantly repeated” (Seth, The Nature of Personal Reality, p. 95).
    from- http://neuroscienceandpsi.blogspot.com/2012/03/henry-corbins-mundus-imaginalis-sufism.html

     

     

    Count on the Arising of the "Dark Night"

    Our understanding of the conditioned mind supports the revelation of new aspects of being. We see that even though the causes of suffering keep becoming more subtle, one thing runs through all of them: ignorance. We just don’t know what is real. As our exploration and inquiry deepen our awareness, understanding, and knowledge, we begin to penetrate the ignorance. The new understanding might inevitably make us aware of much more suffering than we were conscious of before the exploration. We might even begin to experience our suffering in a previously unimagined but actually beautiful way: the sense of the “dark night of the soul,” the sense of being in hell. Everyone who does the work goes through this. If you haven’t been through this dark night yet, you can count on its happening if you continue on this path. The time will come when you will have to struggle with deep suffering as you confront deep beliefs about yourself and about reality. And there is no one you can blame for this suffering; it is not a matter of history. It is a matter of beginning to see reality and beginning to confront your ignorance. This is a great struggle because the mind is deeply habituated, and it is hard to let go of those entrenched beliefs and attachments. Suffering and conflict will become intense for all of us. Although there is no way around the suffering, it helps somewhat to know that it is a normal part of our work.

    Diamond Heart Book Five, pg. 100


  3. Reaching Up   
      "The Cycle of Depression"
    by Dr. Jim Rosen
    ©2022 Dr. Jim Rosen   


        The usual cycle goes something like this.  First you set yourself up for depression by believing in the “impossible dream” – you hang onto the notion that fulfillment comes from other people who might give you their love, acceptance and approval.  Then you behave in ways that are supposed to win their love and approval.  In other words you try hard to do what they expect of you or what you think they expect.  So you’re sacrificing your own freedom for this elusive promise of fulfillment by others.  And except for fleeting moments, the promise doesn’t come true.  The other people don’t supply you with the love, support and approval that you crave.  So the “impossible dream” remains impossible, and you feel like giving up.  When you give up, you get depressed.

        You may think there is something unlovable about you, or you may think you didn’t try hard enough to win their love and approval.  So you pull yourself back up and try again.  But this just leads to repeating the same cycle. You can never quite get that fulfillment from others.  It’s not because of something lacking in you.  It’s really because fulfillment doesn’t come from outside sources.  If you want to end this cycle that keeps you getting depressed, you must learn to become an inner-directed person.  How to become inner-directed is the subject of next week’s column.
     

        Dr. Jim Rosen is a PhD Clinical Psychologist.  He is an experienced psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, and couples counselor.  He offers treatment for anxiety disorders, panic attacks, depression, relationship problems, self-esteem issues, assertiveness training, anger control, stress management, and overcoming the effects of sexual, physical, and emotional trauma


  4. The ever changing Milk-toast Warrior

    The title fits my persona. I tend to always be in motion but the intensity of my attention and interests vary a good deal.

    Below is Will Mesa's commentary on the Zigzag Idiot and the Enlightened Idiot

    The zigzag idiot moves in all directions but never around like the round idiot but rather in a zigzag manner. In the Work he goes one way, learns something useful, and then moves in another direction learning something else. He is always trying to learn something new by moving in different directions but the only problem is that he cannot choose one path. He finishes a book in Hinduism and then goes for another one in Jung psychology, and then to another one on Zen, and so and so. There is nothing a zigzag idiot loves most than a living room full of books with a small flower in a center table as a little reminder that there is such things as Life and Nature. A zigzag idiot in the Work is always quoting from books about the Work he had read. I know a young woman dear essence-friend of mine, the personification of the zigzag idiot, who is always quoting from Work books. “Oh, yes, I saw that in Commentaries.” “Well, that is in the New Model of the Universe.” “You telling me, I saw the same thing in The New Man.” One day I asked her not to quote anymore and to use her own words as a way to develop her own individuality and that what she was doing was a sort of eternal recurrence and she responded: “Well, now that you mention it, I saw that in The Strange Live of Ivan Osokin.” At the end, the zigzag idiot has read so many books that he does not remember any. But he is without doubt a high class of idiot because while he is moving zigzagging he always learns something. If he dies as a zigzag idiot he will have enough knowledge for at least ten successive reincarnations.

    The enlightened idiot thinks that he knows all. He can talk about all, he can discuss all. He is the perfect erudite. In the Work group he is always in the library, while everybody else is in a Movement class. He is not really searching for anything in particular like the zigzag; no, he just wants to know more and more about everything until he gets to the point that his enlightenment is total confusion. If an enlightened idiot and a zigzag idiot meet at some place in space and time, the enlightened will continue straight while the zigzag will make a forty-five degree detour. However they will never acknowledge each other because each one is too occupied minding his own search. Can you imagine an enlightened idiot and a zigzag idiot married to each other? Even the refrigerator of their apartment will be filled with books and they probably will make love on top of the bookcase because the bed is also covered with books, of course if they ever make love because while one always moves in a straight line the other always moves diagonally. How difficult would it be?

    taken from- https://willmesa.wordpress.com/2015/04/18/on-idiocy-and-idiots/

     


  5. Turtle-dove romantic love

     It goes fast

    It goes slow

    It flies high

    It goes low

    It knows with certainty

    Then it knows not but remains the same

    Then it transforms and remains the same, not

    But then it will become still

    After the time of stillness  The arrival of stillness not

    It is difficult to understand because understanding, there is none

    Nun's know this sometimes

    Sometimes Nun's know this not

    Romantic love = infatuation

    It is never lasting, it lasts not

    Like all addiction cycles that come and go

    At first they are fun and then they are fun, not

    This kind of love is not Love with a big "L"

    Ocke de Boer articulated it in this way first

    I did not

    My summary though is to the point. Or maybe not.

    Romantic love is bullshito and it bites

    And it can bite you hard or tie you in knots,  maybe, Then again maybe not.

    This pertains to Don Knotts, It does not

     but then again in his lifetime he was an ordinary human being like you or me

    To be a human being is to experience suffering 

    To face suffering with nonattachment is a sign indicating a step towards Love with a big "L" 

    It can be a state of consciousness for me at times

    Most of the times, it is not,,,,, This is no bullshito, eh?

    I've never met a human being who embodied Love as a Station of consciousness 

     

    What does this bring to mind for you? 

     

    Hyperbole mixed in or not. This is a paradoxical piece of work. 

    Maybe it's just dookie-do. Maybe it is not. 

     Enjoy your life and don't over-think too much.

    Just be in the present as a present to yourself.

    If you want to walk around inside your house in your birthday suit. Suit yourself.

    Or suit it not. It is yours to gift wrap it up freely and maybe give it away. Or maybe not.

    You are not your automaton (body)

    What you are is so much more. More or less,,,

    Am I full of bullshito? Maybe. Maybe not,,,,

     


  6.   "Think About Anxiety"
    by Dr. Jim Rosen
    ©2022 Dr. Jim Rosen   


        Think of anxiety on a scale from 1 to 10 with 1 being completely comfortable and relaxed.  Most people can experience a 2,3,4 and still function pretty well and get themselves under control.  It is normal to experience this level of anxiety pretty regularly.  It’s part of being in human skin.  Even an occasional 5 or 6 is a normal human experience.  And in this very stressful time, 5’s and 6’s have become more frequent for many people.

        There is good news here.  These normal levels of anxiety are not an indication that you’re falling apart or that something is terribly wrong.  Normal anxiety does not mean that you’re going to have a panic attack.  It is not a sign of anything awful.  So you need not magnify it or “awfulize” it in your mind.  In fact, do just the opposite.  “Normalize” it.  Be aware (and remind yourself as often as needed) that the anxiety is normal and human.  This will make it a lot easier to keep your emotions under control.  So here is another example where acceptance of what is can go a long way toward easing your life.
     

        Dr. Jim Rosen is a PhD Clinical Psychologist.  He is an experienced psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, and couples counselor.  He offers treatment for anxiety disorders, panic attacks, depression, relationship problems, self-esteem issues, assertiveness training, anger control, stress management, and overcoming the effects of sexual, physical, and emotional trauma.


  7.  

    Lyrics

    I've always been crazy and the trouble that it's put me through
    I've been busted for things that I did, and I didn't do
    I can't say I'm proud of all of the things that I've done
    But I can say I've never intentionally hurt anyone

    I've always been different with one foot over the line
    Winding up somewhere one step ahead or behind
    It ain't been so easy but I guess I shouldn't complain
    I've always been crazy but it's kept me from going insane

    Beautiful lady, are you sure that you understand
    The chances your taking loving a free living man
    Are you really sure, you really want what you see
    Be careful of something that's just what you want it to be

    I've always been crazy but it's kept me from going insane
    Nobody knows if it's something to bless or to blame
    So far I ain't found a rhyme or a reason to change
    I've always been crazy but it's kept me from going insane


  8. Hell-on-wheels science fair competitor and the angst of youth

     As a kid do you remember some of your more nerdy times of high emotion. Perhaps being very angry and possibly within hearing range of a parent or older sibling. You display your anger by throwing something down on the ground and shout " I don't give a care!" (instead of damn).  Or with anger and being torqued internally you might have shouted in a suppressed way "ding dong ding!!!",,,, with the after effects frustration of realized nerdiness,,,

    Shucks and golly gee   

     


  9. A man in the middle being a solipsism test tube grapefruit scapegoat is more than a mouthful. If you send well meaning mixed messages and they are finally being somewhat understood, you are loved and appreciated.  It is also a torture and a possible projection for both me and you. This would be an example of plausible deniability also for a third party. If the wo/man in the middle were more than one. It would be a possible cluster fuck hell that would need an end if there were mercy to be found in anyone who could ring the final bell for an end.


  10. Just because I'm nervous and tense

    Don't call me Don Knotts

    Even if my stomach is knotted up

    Don Knotts I am not

    Don Knotts had a donut shop

    It was a do nothing hangout for cops

    That says a lot. I don't know. Maybe I do know what kind of dough he used. Maybe I do, maybe not.

    Maybe You should just ask Don Knots, 

    If it is dubious or if it is not. Let there be no doubt. Just ask Don Knots.

    For Don Knotts, I am not. 

    I hear a dog barking in the distance. Maybe I should go and see if it is Bob Barker. 

    Don't ask Don Knotts. He knows nothing of this. He is at his know nothing hangout adjacent to his do nothing donut shop. It is for sergeants, that is. Not for cops. At his know nothing hang out he speaks with sergeant Schultz. Who of course, it is always the same. "He knows nothing". 

    It is the same for me. I know not and I know nothing at the same time. 

    Please don't ask Don Knotts either. It is not because he is like Sergeant Schultz who knows nothing, as always.  Neither Don Knotts nor Sergeant Shultz are still in possession of their carnal bodies. That's why they can't tell you whether or not it is Bob Barker who is barking in the distance. Maybe maybe not. It is not of Game show Bob Barker  that is in question. That is certain. Dog's who bark at a neighbor's house or in the distance I call Bob Barker. You can too if you want. Maybe. maybe not. 

    Go ask Floyd the barber. He now works at Floyd's of London Insurance and barber shop.  You maybe say, no way.  I say maybe.  Maybe not. 

    I need to stop eating so much crazy bread. You eat too much and it makes you crazy. It does for me anyway. For you, maybe, maybe not.

     

     


  11. Reaching Up   
      "Keeping Your Grip"
    by Dr. Jim Rosen
    ©2022 Dr. Jim Rosen   


        Having a quiet time and a quiet space are vitally important for not losing your grip in these difficult times.  There is so much chaos and drama, not just in the world out there, but in the everyday world you live in right here.  It’s too easy to get pulled into the noise and take part in it, and then feel the noise within yourself.  To keep a grip on your life, you need to put some distance between yourself and the noisy chaos - a little bit of distance everyday.  You need to be able to shut out the noise for a while - a short while each day.  Turn off your phone.  Turn off the TV.  If you're at home, put yourself in a quiet room and shut the door.  Take your quiet time in your own way.  Listen to soft music, do some meditation, yoga or hypnosis.  Or just do some deep breathing.  Or take a quiet walk or a quiet sit in the park or back yard.  A little bit each day, and then when you return to the noisy, chaotic world, your insides will be quieter and calmer.
     

        Dr. Jim Rosen is a PhD Clinical Psychologist.  He is an experienced psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, and couples counselor.  He offers treatment for anxiety disorders, panic attacks, depression, relationship problems, self-esteem issues, assertiveness training, anger control, stress management, and overcoming the effects of sexual, physical, and emotional trauma.


  12.  

    On the event horizon there will be an emergent unfolding which will be unpredictable in nature. This is a statement I remember Ken Wilber making which is actually my paraphrasing. In the Gurdjieff Teaching ( which is not his personal creation) is the law of Three. Within the enneagram exists a display of the law of three (law of creation). The product of 3 centered awareness (existence) gives rise to a fourth element ,,,, a new arising.

     

    The Law of Three
    Thursday, May 16, 2019

    Cynthia Bourgeault, one of our core faculty members and an Episcopal priest, has helped Christianity rediscover the powerful model of the “Law of Three.” This was originally developed by the Armenian-born spiritual teacher G. I. Gurdjieff (1866–1949) who saw it comprising what he called the “Laws of World Creation and World Maintenance.” Based on Trinity as flow and movement, this “law” describes the ways in which different elements work to create change and ongoing evolution. Today I’ll share a brief introduction from Cynthia’s work, but I invite you to read her full book The Holy Trinity and the Law of Three: 

    From a metaphysical standpoint, the Trinity is primarily about process. It encapsulates a paradigm of change and transformation based on an ancient metaphysical principle known as the Law of Three.

    [The basic foundational principles are:]

    1-In every new arising there are three forces involved: affirming, denying, and reconciling.

    2-The interweaving of the three produces a fourth in a new dimension.

    3-Affirming, denying, and reconciling are not fixed points or permanent essence attributes, but can and do shift and must be discerned situationally. . . .

    4-Solutions to impasses or sticking points generally come by learning how to spot and mediate third force, which is present in every situation but generally hidden. . . .

    Let’s consider a simple example. A seed, as Jesus said, “unless it falls into the ground and dies, remains a single seed.” [John 12:24] If this seed does fall into the ground, it enters a sacred transformative process. Seed, the first or “affirming” force, meets ground, the second or “denying” force (and at that, it has to be moist ground, water being its most critical first component). But even in this encounter, nothing will happen until sunlight, the third or “reconciling” force, enters the equation. Then among the three they generate a sprout, which is the actualization of the possibility latent in the seed—and a whole new “field” of possibility.

    Actually, the entire Paschal Mystery can be seen to play itself out as a fairly straightforward configuration of the Law of Three. If you assign affirming as Jesus, the human teacher of the path of love; denying as the crucifixion and the forces of hatred driving it; and reconciling as the principle of self-emptying, or kenotic love willingly engaged, then the fourth or new arising, which is inescapably revealed through this weaving, is the Kingdom of Heaven, visibly manifest in the very midst of all the human cruelty and brokenness.

    https://cac.org/the-law-of-three-2019-05-16/

     

    To know means to know all. Not to know all means not to know. In order to know all, it is only necessary to know a little. But, in order to know this little, it is first necessary to know pretty much. (Gurdjieff)

     

    There is an angel within the monkey struggling to get free, and this is what the historical crisis is all about.

    Terence McKenna


  13. Hells bells, thunderstorms and stormy emotional icicles as well rolled through today. It started early and they began Immediately upon awakening from a dream filled night. The internal dialogue was screaming and I was reactively screaming right back internally. Three fierce storms filled the day with the devil whispering in my ear polluting my inner world turning me into poisonous human being.

    I slipped on a banana peal in the court of screaming apple peals midday.

    To dissociate from the emotional intensity I began using my sling blade for a physical workout with a methodical rhythm.. Narrating a parody of my actions, I moved forward going for the gold metal in the sling blade weed cutting event. The sweat was rolling as Howard Cossell was shouting excitedly and I worked my way across the hillside patch of weeds. The competition was fierce and the markets were trading heavy and going long with heavy volume. The crowds of onlookers were noisily cheering. Some were frozen with anticipation and baited breath, Observing my actions and position of the swinging blade I steadfastly moved toward the finish. Communication was heavy with incoming encouragement from those who were in the halls of Congress busily working out the details. It was a photo finish and I slumped exhaustedly at the triumphant winning of the Olympic gold metal sling blade weed cutting event. 

    Whew,,, what a day,,

     

     


  14. Reaching Up   
      "Better is Good"
    by Dr. Jim Rosen
    ©2022 Dr. Jim Rosen   


        Very few things in life are perfect and very few stay the same.  Our lives go through multiple changes.  Change can be unsettling and uncomfortable.  But with your efforts, you can guide these changes in the direction of improvement.  In other words, you can strive to make your life better.  You cannot make it perfect; perfection is not within your grasp.  But the good news is this: better is good.  By focusing on making your life “better,” you grow and develop and make the needed improvements.  Sometimes these improvements are within yourself.  Sometimes they require making changes in your relationships.  Sometimes you need to change your physical surroundings.  There aren’t very many changes that will instantly turn your whole life around.  Most will only make your life a little bit better.  But better is good.  Actually, better is great.  When you’re doing something that makes your life a little bit better, you are doing something that feels right on the inside.  And the very same something will make you a little bit stronger, a little bit happier, a little bit more fulfilled.  You can strive for better today, tomorrow, this very week.
     

        Dr. Jim Rosen is a PhD Clinical Psychologist.  He is an experienced psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, and couples counselor.  He offers treatment for anxiety disorders, panic attacks, depression, relationship problems, self-esteem issues, assertiveness training, anger control, stress management, and overcoming the effects of sexual, physical, and emotional trauma.
     

        


  15. Reaching Up   
      "Aim Toward More Self-Acceptance"
    by Dr. Jim Rosen
    ©2022 Dr. Jim Rosen   


        "I don't like that about myself.  I shouldn't accept myself.  If I accept myself the way I am, I'll always have these problems."  That's the common belief, but nothing could be further from the truth.  Self-criticism actually stifles your growth and development.  It makes you dislike yourself for being yourself.  So you have to work hard to cover up that part of you, or pretend it isn't there, or pretend it isn't real.  When you burn all this energy trying to deny, you make it awfully difficult to learn.  You don't permit yourself to explore, experience and understand the deeper you.  But when you aim toward more & more self-acceptance, your opportunities blossom.  By giving yourself permission to think and feel the way you do right now, you automatically allow yourself to think and feel other things.  By giving yourself the OK to be who you are right now, you get back on a path of experimenting and practicing with new ways of being you.  This kind of self-acceptance gives birth to some very beautiful and worthwhile growing and learning.

        Dr. Jim Rosen is a PhD Clinical Psychologist.  He is an experienced psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, and couples counselor.  He offers treatment for anxiety disorders, panic attacks, depression, relationship problems, self-esteem issues, assertiveness training, anger control, stress management, and overcoming the effects of sexual, physical, and emotional trauma.
     

        Dr. Rosen works with his patients primarily over the phone.  When needed, face-to-face therapy sessions can be scheduled in his home in Magnet Cove, Arkansas.  Because he does not accept insurance, his fee is only $65 for a full 50-minute hour of treatment.  He can be reached anytime by email at drjrosen@ipa.net or by phone or text at 501-623-2050.


  16. A little bit of this and a little bit of that.

    Although Essence is One, the Same Substance, It has Many Varieties, Many Qualities

    But we must use concepts if we are going to communicate verbally. One important concept that we have been using without clarification is that of essential aspects—that essence has many aspects, not just one quality. As we have seen, essential substance has precise and definite physical characteristics. In fact, it can be described in terms of color, taste, texture, transparency, density, luminosity, viscosity, and so on. Variations in these give rise to different aspects of essence, which have different psychological significance. So although essence is one, the same substance, it has many varieties, many qualities. These are aspects of essence. This is true for both the baby and the adult. The aspect of truth is not the same as the aspect of love, and this is not the same as the aspect of will, and so on. They are all essence, and clearly so for the one who knows, but they are experienced differently and affect us differently.  

    Essence with the Elixir of Enlightenment, pg. 78

    from https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/essential-aspects


  17. There was some peculiar lingo I remember from the seventies.

    There was talk about "peoples" of other nations for instance. 

    The one that really got on my nerves was the mentioning of "foodstuffs" in relation to agricultural products or perhaps,,,, grocery-stuffs.