Zigzag Idiot

@skywords I hope you stick around. The forum needs more people who are in their 60's and 70's. I'm 52 going on 15,,,,, The more I dig into Spiral Dynamics the richer it gets. Especially when joined with other frames of reference. This topic will probably get moved but I'm glad you're here! ?‍♂️

Thanks! @yangmilun My words are worthless unless they help you connect with your inner Truth. Your summary is pretty rich. Instead of getting what we want we get what God/Cosmos wants. In letting go of the false part of ourselves, we experience unity consciousness and having Conscience. Conscience is the Intellegence of the Universe. The biggest obstacle to awakening Conscience is the inner bully of superego. Superego is the internalized voice of authority in us which is usually connected to a particular parent or caregiver. Imagination to begin with is our biggest hindrance leading us into infinite subtleties of self deceptions and magical thinking. But when the emotional center is purified we get access to the Causal realm also called the Imaginal realm or the realm of the atom. Being that I'm still on the way, I don't know but I think there are different depths of Cosmic Consciousness. When we purify our negative emotions we can intuit and grok others better.

The difference between uncontrolled imagination and creative imagination. The way I understand it, purification of the emotional center is the key between creative imagination in Causal realm manifesting and magical thinking run amuck in our uncontrolled thoughts and day dreams produced by undisciplined 'monkey mind'. W e"re two natured beings. The kedsjan (Astral) and the energy body in which the physical body dominates with its own wants and desires. As Terence Mekenna says "We are angels who have a Siamese twin who is a monkey growing out of our chest." Purifying the emotional center gives the Astral body the capacity to be able to boss around the physical body with the 3 lower chakras sometimes referred to in the Work as the Automaton.

Hans Wilhelm has an interesting message and map of the spiritual territory. Angels, Ascended Masters, chakras, Christ, and the Absolute (Father/Mother-God). Same message as ACIM pretty much. Forgiveness is not a very popular message, though. He stresses the power of thought and word. Law of Karma. Im not in 100% in agreement on everything he says but think his model is useful for holding things, temporarily, as if.

I spent years allowing for the possibility that Castaneda was giving a factual account. Now I perceive him as a genius trickster repackaging ancient wisdom in entertaining metaphors. Patterson makes a pretty good case. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2898191-the-life-teachings-of-carlos-castaneda

Leo's last video reminds me of a Teaching from Ocke deBoer. Conscious human has to learn to run and go hide. So that he doesn't get pecked to death. ? I know it probably sounds unencouraging but I've noted the phenomena.

My processor just noted that your energy resembles contemporary Zen Master Brad Warner. I enjoy his books. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brad_Warner ??‍♂️

I've watched my painbody get 'infected' from other 'painbodies'. Eckart Tolle introduced me to that word. Observing my negative emotions has been a long ongoing War until it's not. I have to watch myself around other people. Sense my feet to stay grounded in my body. My Automaton. The it. It eats on fear. Everyday I have to watch myself. Watch myself fail. Watch myself react. It doesn't act up if I'm watching it. Taking vigilance as nonstop practice will yield good interest eventually.. I've had a taste of being awake all day long and eventually one day after another. It's probably my painbody that is helping to write this post. One of my inner circle of friends/relatives came into my atmosphere this evening. They had a really active painbody. They've just left so I finish this post and will do 20 minute evening Centering Prayer. letting go of thought. nonconceptual awareness spacious inner quiet objectless awareness Peace ?

Welcome! ? Does the idea of mindfulness figure in very much with the big 5 you're working with?

I've had many experiences with psychic entropy or cognitive dissonance or 'Dark nights of the soul' and so this is a part of the path I'm on Beginners mind allows for possibility Which I also read about between the reoccurring occasions of dissonance At one point it became a part of the dread which drove the mind wild in increasing cycles of intensity. The it. A spiraling down in fear which is no problem in the end Distant territories of the mind make connections Inner quiet knows when it knows and doesn't challenge the Cosmos Hell becomes more real with every recurring visit The fullness turns into a desert again and there's no oasis in sight I'm so tired of this routine If I allow for the possibility of it in an impersonal way I'm not as likely to freeze up or become possessed if it comes my way This is inner quiet felt as a mild knowing Understanding people becomes understandable I have no idea at all what other people should do though I'm steadily losing interest in other people unless I can see a way to be a friend A friend doesn't get in your space unless he forgets himself This in itself can become a jarring sensation or plant the seed for an unfolding realization Because it's plain to see how this kind of an idiot is innocent of malice That's the source of its power with remembering that going against the way is an invitation to being completely humbled again Jesus is the archetype of the friend. I know I'm an idiot without out doubt or regret I just gave evidence. Only an Idiot would say that There's no negative connotation in my felt experience And so it's not a spell I'm putting on myself This kind of Idiot is intimate with the Witness Idiot is something completely different from how the rest of the world puts a negative frame of reference around it. My ordinary idiot is good friends with Beginners mind Beginners mind is just watching There's inner quiet with trust and appreciation I'm pretending to be a poet also

@Bill W Powerful message,,,, Thank you. I'm a narcissist as well. There is nowhere to hide. Today, like every other day, we wake up empty and frightened.... Let the beauty we love be what we do. ~Rumi, as interpreted by Coleman Barks

Know Thyself Socrates exhorted His disciples to do so; every Master including Jesus, who called it witnessing, has taught his disciples to observe themselves, so they might come to know themselves. On the other hand, I am no Master and I say, Don’t do it for God’s sake! They never tell us the terrible trouble it brings, how we will never sleep easily again in our unconscious selfish mad habits, how what is now unconscious, hidden in us will be revealed, like opening a locked cellar door, turning on the light and what you find down there is the county asylum crawling with inmates, some wrapped in torn filthy sheets, others naked and drooling; they are clawing and scratching to gain position on the stairs, to escape, and standing calmly in their midst, dressed in robes of Light, is an Angel around whom most of them huddle weeping, whose gentle touch upon their fevered brows calms and soothes them. This is what I am warning you about: never mind the swarming lunatics, they are everywhere, but once you have seen that Angel in your midst the sorrow and longing will tear at you and trouble you all the days of your life. (Red Hawk)

Internet outage is likely as this line of thunderstorms approaches. I clubbed hundreds if not thousands of animals to death. I ran a small line of steel traps targeting small fur bearing animals before school during winter trapping season. I realized my compassionate non violent self didn't follow through with the swing of the club. This only increased their suffering. I had to train myself to swing hard all the way through. In order to kill swiftly. This was 35 years ago. I think I may have karmicly glued those beings in some way to my life. I'll try to have a follow up post after the thunderstorms pass. I wanted to be Grizzly Adams so bad. A violent Grizzly Adams. I didn't notice the contradiction at the time. Internalized image kind of thing. I was just a kid. A child.

The richness that understanding brings. Christ couldn't hate them because he totally understood them. I recommend @Anderz ACIM Journal for those who are finding themselves naturally tuning to the Jesus frequency. The dude is laying it down,,,, profound!

I rewatch this Hans Wilhelm video every now and then. Food for pondering. I'm drawn to the modern Christian/mystic, Cynthia Bourgeault. I read in an article a couple of years ago that She's a little weary of people's encounters with a 'personal Jesus'. Maybe in the same light that@Jed Vassallo was indicating. Tami Simon: You're listening to "Insights at the Edge." Today my guest is Reverend Cynthia Bourgeault. Cynthia is the principal teacher and advisor to the Contemplative Society and the founding director of the Aspen Wisdom School. She is an Episcopal priest, a teacher of prayer, and a retreat and conference leader. She passionately promotes the practice of Centering Prayer, and has worked closely with Father Thomas Keating, Bruno Barnhart, Richard Rohr, as well as many other contemplative teachers and masters within Christianity and other spiritual traditions. Cynthia is the author of the The Wisdom Way of Knowing: Reclaiming An Ancient Tradition to Awaken the Heart and Centering Prayer and Inner Awakening, and with Sounds True, a six-session learning series on Encountering the Wisdom Jesus: Quickening the Kingdom of Heaven Within as well as an audio program on Singing the Psalms: How to Chant in the Contemplative Christian Tradition. In this episode of "Insights at the Edge," Cynthia and I spoke about kenosis, or self-emptying, as the center point of Jesus's message, how we can understand Jesus's life as a sacrament, and how love lives beyond death. Here's my conversation with the very intelligent and brilliant Cynthia Bourgeault. In Encountering the Wisdom Jesus, you talk about Jesus as a recognition event. Can you tell me what you mean by the term "a recognition event"? Cynthia Bourgeault: What I mean by this term is that perhaps the biggest [misunderstanding] that Christianity makes is to approach Jesus with 20/20 hindsight, that since about the fourth century we've approached him by what we believe about him, by creeds that are polished, that are crammed into our heads, and so it gives us the sense that we know the story. But when early people who were attracted by his message first heard him, they didn't have resources. They didn't have the canons, creeds, and proper things, and they had to decide for themselves, by either recognizing something in themselves that corresponded [to him], [something] that they could see as true, or not. And this is an interesting point, it's exactly the way we recognize teachers today. That it's something in your heart that in the moment has to say "yay" or "nay" to an idea, a presence, a person, before you. @Schahin Thanks for sharing and asking the question! Through ACIM text, I experience Jesus as friend and brother. Somewhat personal ,,,, but more transpersonal. Very Jesus but also at the same time ,,,more Christ Consciousness.

@Aquarius I relabeled my Journal a while back as besides being an actualization Journal it is a tool for psychological integration. If I'm uncertain about posting something, I'll ponder on whether it's coming from my being or more from ego. If it is something connected with my shadow in a way which would make me inner consider too much later on I'll not post it. But I will post things connected with my shadow that I have an inner feeling that I've integrated enough that later on I won't regret or get into neurotic inner considering about it. Posting about this kind of stuff helps me to successfully integrate the issues I'm dealing with more. IME It seems to me being is always capable of spontaneity whereas ego is definitely reactive. Often it's difficult for me to to see or know the difference and so I sometimes fail. If I do, I may go ahead and try to use it as grist for the mill. Please let me know here or in a private message if I clutter up your Journal too much and I'll take it down or hide it.

I'm glad your presence has returned! ???‍♂️

Gurdjieff International Review https://www.gurdjieff.org/ Gurdjieff's Allegory for the four bodies Carridge = physical body Horse = emotional center kedsjan or Astral body Driver = Intellectual center = higher Intellectual Master/Awakened Being = connects with Causal body or Imaginal realm

Good Set and setting for psychedelic voyaging in a darkened room on big screen tv. Laying in bed.

@DrewNows I found similarities with how you framed it and the Ridhwan Glossary. Also seems to echo some of what Leo said in his last video. Without the Presence of Essence it is Very Difficult to Tolerate the Loss of Deeper Boundaries As the process of the deepening dissolution of boundaries and the related experiences of space goes on (which we mentioned above need follow no absolute sequence), it usually happens that all manner of experiences and realizations not directly involving space intervene. We refer particularly to the experience of essence in its various aspects and dimensions. In fact, theexperience of essence contributes greatly to the deepening experience of space. Without the invaluable presence of essence, it is very difficult, almost impossible, to tolerate the loss of the deeper boundaries. The experience of ego death and annihilation is too frightening to allow without the experience of a reality beyond the ego, the reality of Being, our true essence. And in turn, the realization of emptiness in its various grades contributes to the discovery and development of essence, and ultimately to its actualization as the real life. The Void, pg. 149 The Resolution of Separateness The resolution of the separateness has to do with going from ego to non-ego, from individual to cosmic, from human to divine. We realize that our deeper nature is God itself. Realizing divine nature means not being an individual; it means being totality, universality, infinity. Nothing is excluded from your sense of self. You realize then that whenever you talk to someone, you are talking to yourself. True love, true compassion, and true generosity arise now because there is no separation between you and the other. You could still feel yourself as an individual who sees how you are unique, but you know too that you are fundamentally connected. At a more intrinsic level, that separateness is not there. The moment you go from ego to non-ego you experience not only that you are one with all human beings but that you are one with everything. You realize that the consciousness that has been compacted within boundaries has no boundaries. It is everywhere. Consciousness is the basic substance and nature of everything. The truth you realize, then, is that who you are is not the product of your childhood, is not your body, is not a sense of limited individuality. You are something that is everything, and you are seeing now the nature of everything, not only on the essential level, but on the level of Being itself, on a non-differentiated level, a non-separated level. Diamond Heart Book Five, pg. 108

Yeah, ? Sounds similar. So you too huh,,, ?

In the past week I've realized that maybe I have boundary issues,,, It struck me that I have no middle ground. I'm either engaging the world with no boundaries or retreating too much into my own world and keeping people at a distance. I took the initiative to buy some coaching/counciling from Emerald and then watched myself crawfish on the deal. I don't want to be held accountable maybe,,,, or I just want to be told what I want to hear. Nothing new there,,, but it was the intensity of it all that struck me. It was kinda surprising in that way. The idea of nowhere to hide spooked me, in a sense. I'm trying to observe this more,,,

I am not right. I am not wrong. I just am.