Zigzag Idiot

I would like to see Emerald and Leo join forces. I think she would be great as a full time integration facilitator- moderator in the forum and her fixed presence would bring in more of the feminine to help balance things. From what I've seen their perspectives seem to be harmonious and she is very good at articulating ideas and interacting with others. But I know nothing of the business/money side of the equation.

You must learn control. I was just refering to myself. ?

@now is forever Butter as well.

@now is forever Time to bring out the Yoda teflon defense.

Once I heard the worst kind of not knowing is thinking that one already knows. I find myself there quite often but try to allow for some gaps in my know-it-all bullshit so a prybar can be gotten in there. Yeah, a little bit last night when I dug into his collection. I'm even-Steven this morning though,,, got other fish to fry. Maybe I'll put a little lemon juice on those,,,

@now is forever The YouTube below is the one I watched yesterday. He seems like a fairly reasonable person in it. Once I tap into his collection of podcasts though, I discover the guy seems to truly have an ax to grind. Says he doesn't want to debate any of it. He says he knows what he knows and that's the end of it. I step away from trying to resolve any disparities. Not just step away but run away. Like from a disturbed red wasp nest,,,

I may have spoke too soon. There are more disparities than I thought. This guy has a ton of videos like this. i may step back away.

@Alex bAlex I like this kind of stuff. It sounds like they expect to find a lot more with their new techniques. Went ahead and subscribed to his channel. I want to search and see if there is anything new I didn't know about regarding the underwater buildings and structures off the coast of India and Japan. Prehistoric Cultures,,,, Seems like there is another place in the Indian Ocean. Probably more discovered by now.

Imitation is the highest form of flattery. ? Somebody somewhere said.

You would probably find me in that category. I'm not looking for a relationship though. But I'll pitch in 2 cents worth since no one has. i agree it sometimes seems not very female friendly here. But this should be a good place to meet others because there are such a wide range of people here connected in a way that might allow synchronicity to occur easier. Do you go for things like astrology or I CHING in helping to find answers?

4-15-2019 27 Nourishing Line 6 24 Returning To paraphrase, the changing line councils how being on autopilot or existing in a mechanical way by default puts one in the service of the collective ego.

@Karla Good deal! I'm glad that you see a use for it and plan on using it. ???‍?

This was just a spontaneous idea last night. For a long time I never really understood what the superego stood for and even after a conceptual understanding was arrived at, the implications of it all took some time to take root. So my intention in emphasizing the meaning of super ego was to maybe help others along like I had been after coming to some understanding how in not dealing with the superego and inner criticism that goes with it, really deep inner work cannot take place. In an online course I was in before, there was a forum location called the 'kitchen' where it was considered ok to discuss things that we're off topic to the course. This was in the back of my mind. To create a space just for those of us who are keeping a jounal to post things that maybe somewhat arbitrary and might not go with one's Journal. But then after Leo's remark in his last video about teaching, I altered my idea to make it a practice teaching platform and "community kitchen"or "back porch". I meant for it to be open to all of us here keeping a Journal. This may end up being seen as not needed or redundant but I've thrown it out here anyway. So,,, to all Journalers, if you have something to share, please share. Or if someone thinks there is a need to stress a particular idea in relation to actualizing I invite you to jump up on the stump! ?

@David Hammond ok,,,, interesting,,,

@David Hammond no In Inquiry do you ever catch yourself feeding on negative energy in a subtle way?

@David Hammond @whoareyou What is projection?

Does it feel lonely to be Awakened and see everything so clearly in a world full of sleeping people like Leo and all the Moderators and myself and others here ?

4-14-2019 44 Coming to Meet Lines 1,2 and 3 10 Conduct The heading from line 1 of 44: (I always find the last sentence comical when it shows up in a reading) It must be checked with a brake of bronze. To be firmly correct brings good fortune. If one lets it take its course, one experiences misfortune. Even a lean pig has it in him to rage around. Line 2 councils about doubt. Line 3 councils about becoming free from self images.

Ego - Superego- Self forgetting - Self Remembering - Being - Awakened Conscience and connection From another previous post-- Who am I? Where am I? To let go of my personal history is to walk out of a prison. Not an easy thing. Working on myself requires continual effort because I/We forget. It means beginning again, thousands of times. Encountering elements in shadow work which send me into reaction and forgetting requires self forgiveness. To 'sit with' something difficult is to eat and digest it's energy. A saying in the Work is that - sometimes I eat the bear and sometimes, the bear eats me. Forgiving myself is practice for forgiving others. Forgiving others is practice for forgiving myself. Red Hawk - "Apology and forgiveness are acts of Conscience. These are the acts which clear Conscience and allow it to grow. They feed Conscience. What gets fed, grows-that is the law. Apology and forgiveness are sacrificial acts, done in the service of something higher and finer, something which cannot be named but may be sensed, felt, and experienced. A real man, a human being, is known by his reactions. He is known not by what others say about him, but what he says about others. He is known by his acts of kindness and humility. He is known by his ability to apologize and forgive. This is how non-judgmental love manifests in reality. The conscious management of the survival instinct is the practice of a lifetime. It never ends. It comes to me as a result of remorse and fear of hurting others, which have brought about the aim of kindness in me." Yes, some. Years ago. But most of my insights are from observing and the more powerful insights have been from feeling.

More on superego from a previous post in my Journal-- Attempt at a Crushed Analysis in reclaiming our 'Red' energy. Awakened Conscience is not the same as Acquired Conscience with its ideas of morality which changes from culture to culture. We need all our energy for doing Inquiry. This means becoming Boss/manager of our sex energy. A sign that your not boss is if you feel shame connected with any part of your sex life. Which is a sign of active super ego. Super ego is directly in the way for nearly everyone in reaching and hearing the voice of Conscience, ironically. Super ego is the internal critical voice of our caregivers, usually one parent,, more than another. Religious upbringing with a lot of shame really adds to this conditioning in us in a way that's difficult to get free of as adults. Overcoming super ego involves processing and integrating any shadow in our sex life responsible for shame. Overcoming super ego means befriending our Parents at a higher level than the permanent part time child who was still under the control of the super ego. An enormous amount of vital energy and attention is then reclaimed. This is often times considered one of the first things to go after in Inquiry and work on self. How do we reach Awakened Conscience? By processing repressed negativity AND integration of shadow in becoming shameless boss/manager of one's sex energy, as a starter. Any traumas or humiliations need to have observational light put on them and eventually sorted out. Only for yourself. A part of this process is you decide what's right for you with your feelings, and not with your inner critic. Our heart helps us connect with the intelligence of Conscience when we become completely sincere and curious. We all have repressed negativity. We can do pretty good while sitting in a peaceful environment but if someone hits us in the face with a shovel, things go to a different level of difficulty. It seems women catch a double dose of conditioning apart from super ego in the automatic judgements and dictates of the cultural ego, most of which is born out of Patriarchal notions. Men have their uphill battle too in having on average at least 10 times the amount of testosterone than women. One reason why men are often just a slave to their penis. Expressing negative emotions rob energy in general. Shame, specifically robs vital energy in dividing us against ourselves.

Revised: Journal open to anyone who has Journaled since March first plus @Aquarius Where are you? Share whatever the Spirit moves you to share,

A back porch share- A while back @Alex bAlex expressed an interest in Ancient Egypt. I ran across this comparison I had recently found in my photos between what Beelzebub's Tales says and what's inscribed at the Temple Of Man in Luxor. Evidence of the existence of Atlantis.

I've wrestled with this one a lot in my early twenties. To stop thinking about myself and focus on being a help to others. But I would always end up feeling depleted and then depressed or angry. After that, guilt would sometime swamp me. It was (can be) a vicious cycle. It's difficult to establish balance sometimes. An ability to find humor in difficult situations has definitely been a help to me at times. Interesting aim,,, A huge one. It would mean dealing with every issue you are identified with. Even your name.

This is a depiction of the apostle John in the New Testament. Well, actually the paraphrased version of the Bible GOD IS DISSAPPOINTED IN YOU.

4-13-2019 24 Returning This is a small portion of the text for Hexagram 24: The Sage defines the theme of this hexagram as returning to one's original nature, and to unity with the Cosmic whole, through splitting apart from the ego. Returning also indicates the direction in which the path of development leads: back to the person's original nature. It does not lead forward, through cultivating virtues or becoming something we are not, but is a process of continual subtraction of what we have falsely added, thus to allow the True Self to resume its path toward maturation. Each step on this path leads to increasing light and relief. One takes this path through ceasing to look outward for solutions to problems, to look inward instead, to the choices that have been made. Each hexagram illuminates some hidden part of the psyche, helping us to discover our true nature. We receive this hexagram when we are ready to return from a mistake. "Friends come without blame" means that when we have the humility to acknowledge a mistake, the Helpers are freed to come to our help.