Zigzag Idiot

This is a very deep spiritual Truth I feel compelled to relay. Not to be overly dramatic but I wanted to preface it with a certain gravity. Ok, here goes: We fall down. We get back up. We fall down. We get back up.

Cynthia Bourgeault fits the Category not to mention Bernadette Roberts who she has often referenced in the past as being one of the deepest contemporary nondual realized beings in regard to Christ Consciousness.

Reminds me of the phrase post coital depression.

7-5-2019 20 Seeing Line 1 42 Increasing Hints from changing line 1- There goes my Peter Pan Weltonshuung again,,,, What stage is Elliot Hulse at? Zigzag Idiot replied to Cody_Atzori's topic in Self-Actualization Posted 1 hour ago Maybe by some miracle Trump and Elliot Hulse will take a heavy dmt trip together and both have the deep realization of having for the whole of their lives been employing grandiosity as a defence mechanism for shielding against inadequacy. Maybe even hold a joint press conference where they have a good cry and try to start hugging and apologizing to everyone. ?? That would be a really good press conference. "To have a free mind is to be a universal heretic." - A.H. Almaas "We have to bless the living crap out of everyone." - Matt Kahn

Maybe by some miracle Trump and Elliot Hulse will take a heavy dmt trip together and both have the deep realization of having for the whole of their lives been employing grandiosity as a defence mechanism for shielding against inadequacy. Maybe even hold a joint press conference where they have a good cry and try to start hugging and apologizing to everyone. ?? That would be a really good press conference.

7-4-2019 23. Splitting Apart. Lines 1 and 3 22. Grace Council from changing line 3 ,,,,,, This Line also refers to a person who splits from using power to correct wrongs, and instead employs the inner No, thus engaging the Helpers of the invisible world.

NN dmt experiments I had a no ordinary day. When I got out of bed this morning I spontaneously decided on a NN dmt trip while my stomach was completely empty. I tried anther method based on the following article. https://www.dmt-nexus.me/forum/default.aspx?g=posts&t=25974 Actually the first attempt was through a store bought Vaporizer borrowed from a friend. The battery failed in it and so I quickly improvised the homemade version. I also lost the " machine ball" as well made from copper with the first attempt and so I had to make another one of those. On the second attempt I got that certain feeling, some pressure in my head and a lots of of hallucinations. I was attempting mindfulness going into this with just a curious but witnessing kind of conscious state. Just keeping my eyes open but also not fighting it. No breakthrough on the second attempt even though a powerfully felt experience. Using the same machine ball I loaded another 50 mg into it and went a third time. About the same kind of similar short trip resulted though. One good result from this morning is a big reduction in fear around NN dmt. Although there was still a heaviness produced in me in what I experienced. It was interesting instead of frightening and the smoke is not near as harsh. Although I couldn't get the machine ball to work for me this morning, I plan on trying it again. I'll give a trip report in the NN dmt subforum later on,,, I went back to bed and slept the whole day. Before I tripped I was reading journals well before daylight and was really struck by the profundity of this following post by @Ero which I felt compelled to respond too and also a new journal started by @bmcnicho . After the dmt experience, all significance about things in general changed including my immediate felt need for communicating. @Ero's post - YOU'LL NEVER THINK OF BURNOUT THE SAME WAY EVER AGAIN What is interesting is our approach to/ perception of fatigue/burnout- When I just let those sensations without a judgmental tone I can see that they are extremely pleasant sensations of stillness (uncomfortable if we persist on "working")- A way of the body to experience itself whole and return to its center. A following insight showed me that the fatigue happens when we are not just alert but trying to escape/ get out of our bodies - aka escape sensations (hyperactivity from DH )....Daaamn. Daaamn. Mindfuuuucked. Burnout and fatigue is the way the universe/ our body forces us to look back into our essence - they are the result if we're denying that essences by chasing superficial stuff (projections of our belief system) - Energy is a consequence of consciousness (the potentiality expands parallel with consciousness by definition). We describe that shit dismissively as burnout and exhaustion when in fact they are OUR CALL. Now you know why LP is so important. Now you know why there are tireless individuals. EXTREMELY IMPORTANT NOTE: It's not the actions that burn you out. You can do whatever without burning out IF THE STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS FROM WHICH YOU DO IT IS ACCEPTING AND INCLUSIVE. That's why following your excitement/passion is so important. Because they are high frequency (from a space of inclusiveness). With dissolving of beliefs that passion expands and, as we previously mentioned, collapses into devoted service of God. I have a lot of catching up to do on reading everyone's journal,,,,, from the last day or so,,,

Im absolutely going to have to read this one . Thomas Keating was a mentor to Cyhthia Bourgeault. Two of her books I really like: Thanks @Bill W

Thanks, @DrewNowsIf you're having a good laugh then at least I'm doing something somewhat beneficial. ??‍♂️?

Athletic horses who are kept in a Stall for too long will start to have episodes of rocking side to side.

I've been getting better insight into the yo yo of being that has to be added to the knowledge of the pendulum of emotions. It's now fully 3D. Zigzag Idiot discovers what Authentic Idiots are eventually the embodiment of. Mostly I'm in Ordinary Idiot throughout the day - resting in beginners mind. Depends of the cycle of the Seasons too. In moments of time during the day, I'll manifest Zig Zigzag Idiot, Squirming Idiot, Round Idiot behavior etc.. Zigzag Idiot is the highest Idiot in the First Tier of S.D. and the bottom Idiot of Second Tier and seems to be more Yellow than Green. Enlightened Idiot has embodied The integrated knowledge of both the pendulum of personality and the Yo yo of Being. This is what makes Enlightened Idiots impartial about everything. It takes from Enlighted Idiot, Doubting Idiot, and Swaggering Idiot as a completed triad to breakthrough another threshold in degree of Impartiality. The next triad of Idiots 13, 14, and, 15- Authentic Idiot, Patented Idiot and Genial Idiot are all Characters of Turquoise and above in S.D. In Tarot- The Hermit, Justice and The Chariot cards.

Trivia to ponder from my favorite ebook I have one prebirth memory, but nothing close to this,,,,, Rebirthing is a necessary precondition to complete a non-violent shift to the Body-Mind. Without it you can never fully develop and balance the chakras, or create a unified field of all components in Awareness. Rebirthing goes beyond the normal field of recollection of early childhood memories normally addressed in psychoanalysis. Rebirthing goes further back to the pre-verbal memories, to memories of birth, pre-natal life in the womb. It goes all the way back to the original orgasmic moment of conception. A truly liberating rebirthing experience requires a basic understanding of the biology of the development of the body. We need to understand the discoveries of science in this area to have full recall and visualization. We need to understand the process of Mitosis, from the original union of sperm and egg to early childhood development. We also need to comprehend the significance of the seven stages of Mitosis, and its relation to our perceptive awareness, and the unified energy field. This essential knowledge is summarized in the following chart: Spirit Mind Soul Mind Body Mind: 7 Speak 7 Spirit 1 Fecundation Neocortex 6 Read 6 Soul 2 Polarization Limbic 5 Touch 5 Body 3 Organization Brain Stem 4 Hear 4 Willing 4 Circulation 3 Taste 3 Feeling 5 Metabolism Birth 2 Smell 2 Think 6 Breathing 1 Seeing 1 Sense 7 Moving MITOSIS There are seven stages of development: In the first two to three weeks the three basic layers are formed in the embryonic tissue: Entoderm: Inner Organs, Inner layer Mesoderm: Tendon and Muscles, Middle layer Exoderm or Ectoderm: Sense Organs, Outer layer One of the three embryonic layers tends to dominate in a person from this earliest stage. The dominant layer may later determine the preponderance of a person's temperament. An Entoderm dominant person will invite people for a good dinner, a Mesoderm person to jogging or mountain climbing, and an Exoderm person to listen to a concert. a. Contractions b. Birth c. First breath All three stages are painful and thus their recollection in the rebirthing process is frequently not pleasant. Still, remembering this pain frees you from it, and sets the stage for further development. The ejection from the womb is intense and frightening, particularly the initial stage of contractions, before movement down the birth canal begins. The contractions produce visions of hell. Compression down the birth canal to birth produces visions of the fall from the amniotic paradise. When you recall the first breath, you also recall the tearing open of the bronchial. Also, at the moment of birth the "foramen ovale" closes and the two chambers of the heart separate. The first painful breath and heart break is the threshold of rebirth. The rebirthing experience, like most all tribal initiations, necessarily involves the acceptance of intentional suffering. Fecundation. A single sperm, one of 500 million ejaculated, is accepted by the female egg. Polarization. The 23 male and 23 female chromosomes meet at the equator and blend to form the original cell. An average size human cell has about the same number of molecules as an average size human brain has cells. The fertilized human egg cell shown below has even more molecules. Organization. The cell divides according to the law of the octave, 1 - 2 - 4 - 8 - 16 - 32 - 64 - 128 ....., up to about 54 divisions, then the organism is complete. By about four months all organs have been formed and simple growth begins. Actual photographs are shown below of the human embryo at the 2, 4 and 8 cell stages. In the first two to three weeks the three basic layers are formed in the embryonic tissue: Entoderm: Inner Organs, Inner layer Mesoderm: Tendon and Muscles, Middle layer Exoderm or Ectoderm: Sense Organs, Outer layer One of the three embryonic layers tends to dominate in a person from this earliest stage. The dominant layer may later determine the preponderance of a person's temperament. An Entoderm dominant person will invite people for a good dinner, a Mesoderm person to jogging or mountain climbing, and an Exoderm person to listen to a concert. Circulation. At five to six weeks, when the embryo is no more than three fifths of an inch long, the heart begins to beat. The heart beats continuously, uninterrupted, until we die. Here an embryo is shown at about five and one half weeks. The big protrusion between the flipper and the head is the heart. Metabolism. At about eight weeks, when the embryo is one inch long, weighing two and one half grams, metabolism starts in the embryo through the umbilical cord connection with the mother's metabolism. The embryo floats weightlessly in warm amniotic fluid, nourished from the outside, in a state of bliss. Recollection of this earliest time in your life is quite pleasant, however, for most the recollection of the birth process which follows is not. Here is a picture of a fetus at about eight weeks. Birth. After nine months of blissful growth, the organism is ready for birth which comes in three stages: Movement. Once out the baby starts coordinating the senses by movements. By about the third month after birth the senses are acclimated to the new external environment. For rebirthing to succeed the fear of pain must be overcome. The same is true of life itself. Otherwise fear will prevent you from starting the backward journey within. In this way many people are trapped by fear into living their whole life in one little corner of their brain. from- http://www.chanceandchoice.com/course-overview/brain-and-mind/

Leo said, "Reality is infinite imagination." Ken Wilber speaks of the gross, subtle and causal realms. Some refer to the causal realm as the Imaginal realm. In the Fourth Way system, it is taught we are two natured beings with three brains and four bodies. Or rather 4 potential bodies.

I got a great night of sleep. Just finished watching Leo's last video. I LOVE it. I don't understand it yet at all,,, but I love it. The Basic elements I have some deep insights into particularly 'imagination' as put forward by Gurdjieff and also a couple of unique experiences from Scientology, ironically enough. I will watch this again for sure , possibly immediately. I smell big Truth. I want to be that one in a million he mentions. I am so ready for Leo's new teachings!

I understand. I just caught the news headlines about this ongoing heatwave earlier today.

This is good to hear! I've really enjoyed a couple His Youtubes and will consider buying his book. Ive been using the phrase Inquiry imprecisely most likely, since I arriving here six months ago. As in synonymous with doing the Work or self observation.I had thought that Inquiry also had this usage as separate from the specific practice called Self Inquiry. Maybe 50/50? Lately I've been feeling the need to make this distinction more and more to possibly just save confusion if anyone were to read very much in my journal. i would welcome any opinions around this.

I often write from hypotheticals and make flat out assertions. Its likely I contradict previous statements I've made. In the knowledge of essence types it becomes better understood how we naturally piss off some as well as feel attracted to others energy. See, here I go again. The mars essence type (adrenal) is described as an active negative type. Negative as in questioning or seeing the glass half empty instead of half full. The maximum attraction for the Mars type is the passive and positive Venusian. As a mars type my approach is naturally blunt and straightforward. This may trigger other Mars types. Maybe because of similar shadow blind spots,,? My own mixture of Solar-Saturn-mars is roughly equivalent to a cerebrotonic mesomorph,,,, I think. Everyone should think for themselves. There is no doubt that I try to influence others. It's how I learn and integrate. I will be wrong about some things and right about another. Or maybe it will be right for me and a few others and not for everyone else. I have no interest in creating a following around my interpretation of how things are. Trying to add to Gurdjieff's Science of Idiotism is a sincere aim. Basically my approach to systems thinking. I have a deep respect for both A.H. Almaas and Red Hawk because they both express in their own writings of taking a second return run towards unrealized deep self hatred. But there are also many others who feel this same necessity. I wouldn't want to imply it's a necessity for everyone, though. Another thing I feel the need to express is a point about the Castaneda quotes. Let's take the following: From The Power Of Silence- Don Juan described self-importance as the force generated by man’s self-image. He reiterated that it is that force which keeps the assemblage point fixed where it is at present. For this reason, the thrust of the warriors’ way is to dethrone self-importance. And everything sorcerers do is toward accomplishing this goal. He explained that sorcerers had unmasked self-importance and found that it is self-pity masquerading as something else. “It doesn’t sound possible, but that is what it is,” he said. “Self-pity is the real enemy and the source of man’s misery. Without a degree of pity for himself, man could not afford to be as self-important as he is. However, once the force of self-importance is engaged, it develops its own momentum. And it is this seemingly independent nature of self-importance which gives it its fake sense of worth.” It's true but it is also tough guy talk, in a sense. And to the degree it speaks to that part of us that likes tough guy talk, it is in error. Keeping a watch of my own heart told me so. There does exist a gift in tears and a big attitude will throw shade on it. I will claim possession of the knowledge of how Saints come about. But I stand here as a hypocrite unable to actually do it and so I have to suffer this self, off and on. The whole point about not expressing negative emotions is that it, in itself, perpetuates unnecessary suffering. But it's so terribly difficult to not express them and I certainly can't judge anyone who does so because I also still do so. Even after a clear conceptual understanding, it's still difficult. Suffering myself I put into the category of necessary or intentional suffering. Where will the motivation for transformation come from if I'm unwilling to actually see how I am, beyond lofty ideals? This kind of intentional suffering is also Conscious suffering. As Ocke de Boers logic translates-" Remorse will bring conscious suffering. This is to see and feel your own mechanical behaviour or negativity and seeing you can’t do anything about it. Conscious suffering will bring the Work deeper in you and therefore will increase your being so that conscience can speak. It will give a constant and unflagging need to work and enable you to pass the first threshold. Conscious suffering is the medicine to make the Automaton surrender to the Permanent Witness. The Automaton is an instrument. The Permanent Witness has to learn how to use it." If only we could differentiate between a cleansing as a result of remorse and the terrible falsity in the idea of being guilty. In this sense, everyone is truly innocent. It seems reasonable that this capacity for Witness Consciousness has to occur before there is a stability established in the 2nd tier of Spiral Dynamics.

6-29-2019 11. Harmony/Peace/Prosperity. Lines 2, 4, and 5 49. Renewal/Revolution/Ending Fate My body is experiencing fatigue due to some tension and lack of sleep. Had a bit of vertigo during morning meditation. Not quite sick but don't feel well physically this morning.

Random YouTube of Cicadas. Periodically, the music of the crickets are drowned out by the chorus of the cicadas. Specifically at 13 and 17 years. This happens in two different ways. One of which, everyone who has normal hearing receives a free general admission ticket. The other kind, not. Tinnitus is something else altogether.

The price of conscious Love is overcoming hatred.

Many forms of self-importance that heal through exhaustion From The Power Of Silence- Don Juan described self-importance as the force generated by man’s self-image. He reiterated that it is that force which keeps the assemblage point fixed where it is at present. For this reason, the thrust of the warriors’ way is to dethrone self-importance. And everything sorcerers do is toward accomplishing this goal. He explained that sorcerers had unmasked self-importance and found that it is self-pity masquerading as something else. “It doesn’t sound possible, but that is what it is,” he said. “Self-pity is the real enemy and the source of man’s misery. Without a degree of pity for himself, man could not afford to be as self-important as he is. However, once the force of self-importance is engaged, it develops its own momentum. And it is this seemingly independent nature of self-importance which gives it its fake sense of worth.”

As a form of self importance, I used to be really serious. Still am sometimes.

As a type 6 The Devil's advocate (doubt/fear) in the Enneagram of personality when I'm under stress, I become a type 3 The Performer. When I'm in security, I become a type 9, The Mediator. Everyone does this, according to one's type. Thats a part of the Enneagram of Personality taught by Helen Palmer. I never really studied my "wings" , as they are called. For me it's the types 5 and 7 and how they are also an influence. I don't really feel a need to learn it completely, now. Observing in the way I have has revealed to me I'm all of it,,,, and struggle with every aspect given on the Enneagram, as does everybody whether they realize it or not. But also, I'm none of it. It's sounds crazy about how much time and effort it takes to realize it's all just a case of mistaken identity we each have to deal with in our own way. It helps me to observe time and again how when an "I" becomes identified with anything, good or bad it doesn't matter. On one end or the other the pendulum of emotion will swing to or from. It is sometimes said that awakening is about seeing this in oneself. Awakening is what makes you die. Being reborn is to feel it in such a way, you never identify and become reactive again. Ha! if it was only that cut and dried, it would be nice. But, it's not. Usually. In comes the amnesia factor, the opposite of Self Remembering. Its an interesting idea that studying the false in us (personality) is actually more helpful in the beginning than studying the real (Essence) in us. We have to get the bullshit out of the way first, it seems. On this path anyway. It's a good thing I caught this from urban dictionary,,,,, tought The way idiots spell the word "taught." Who tought you how to read, wrote the dumbest person ever. Being self important makes one become clumsy with the added vanity. Everything doesn't have to be a joke either. But when I'm under stress, it's my favorite coping mechanism. ?

@DrewNows Thanks for the recommendation! I ended up watching all of it. She touches on a lot of topics. From how the Universe basicly eats itself to animal rights and factory farming, to withstanding exposure from harmful things in our modern environment. I like her focus on how we hurt ourselves with our own negativity. She has a real gift for bringing in practicality when discussing woo woo topics. I wish she would make a video on how to interpret David Wilcock and Drunvalo Malchez. Or rather, some of their claims. @tsuki I appreciate your articulation regarding Dimensions. As always, you help me to stretch my mind.

6-28-2019 52. Meditating. Lines 1, 3 and 5 42. Increasing A lot of times I would rather lie to someone rather than hurt their feelings.