Arman

im north of the river

Nice bro, thank you for sharing.

hot dang you got an interesting writing style don't be dismayed by not getting what you're asking here. anyone with true self awareness and love isn't going to give you what you're asking, because they wouldn't dare rob you of your own power and reinforce the beliefs that are hurting you what are you trying to do, exactly? your aim and frame are driving you bonkers. forget the time limits, forget where you think you're supposed to be vs where you are first decide where you are is not so bad - practice gratitude then get excited about the fact that you are on this path at all - that's some serious grace. then you know that you're always improving. whatever practices you're doing, whatever map you're following or however confused you are, you know you are on the path and life is guiding you towards where you're supposed to be. you say, where I am is great, but I'm going to see just how awesome things can get. there will be some down periods but those help you even more than the good times don't compare yourself to some transcendental object, or some ideal. it's illusory dude, you're fine. with all your dysfunction and neurosis you're just fine. tend to your own heart more so you know you're actually very safe where you are. knowing that you are perfectly on the path and only being led to the greatest version of yourself: only one task remains, and that is to relax and tend to how you feel in the moment. to bring ease, relaxation and gratitude to your body. this will help to unwind your overstimulated energetic system/nervous system which is coming through in your post. ps. the 'I love you's to yourself are a good practice. the crazier your husband thinks you are, the better you're doing... probably.

read the book instead, socrates is way more badass on text. it's supposed to be a true story, too

if you say so

My perspective: Confusion and inability to make decisions come from emotional blockages. Emotional blockages come from a lack of willingness to be present with discomfort/resistance. Bare with me here: Knowing the right choice comes from intuition. Intuition is the clear still inner voice that leads us down the path of greatest expansion. Growth means having to face resistance. Paradoxically intuition always leads to the path of least resistance, but for as long as we're in the physical domain, the path of least resistance means having to face some resistance now for greatest optimization. Resistance is uncomfortable, and if you're not willing to be uncomfortable then you will never dissolve the resistance that life is asking you to move through in order to grow. Confusion is not as you think it is. It is not a lack of answers. It is merely an energetic/physiological phenomena. Confusion is just like fear, anger, grief, etc. We think of it as having special connection to the mind, intellect, etc, but it's not the case. It can be useful to rid yourself of the label of confusion. Instead, you may wish to call it resistance. Emotional blockages narrow our vision. No discomfort or resistance can be resolved with an answer - only awareness and willingness to be present with discomfort resolves it. Therefore, it is impossible to be able to discover 'answers' at the level of intellect or thought that resolve discomfort. At best, these answers only sedate the discomfort which you've labelled as confusion, but the resistance will soon return and with it your answer won't make sense anymore or you are unsure of it. When the resistance is let go of, the answer comes clearly and obviously. Often in fact, we will feel so silly for not having seen it in the first place. It seems obvious obvious obvious. 'Answers' come when the resistance has been dissolved at the being level. When people let go of their resistance, or let go of attachment, an answer comes, but the mistake they make is to assume that the answer caused the feeling of resolution and the sensation of progress. The truth is, the answer was the spontaneous emanation that arose from the shift that occurred at the more subtle being level, as a result of having dissolved resistance. You were now vibrationally compatible with ideas and energies that you were previously blind to. The shift itself is what makes you feel good and allows you to move out of the illusion of stagnation. Not the answer that was born out of it. ---- So this means when you are unsure of what to do on a subject, your aim should be to acknowledge the discomfort and resistance on the subject, and then aim to 'let it go'. We let go by accepting the experience and allowing it to be there unconditionally. You accept that it's where you are and how you feel. It is useful to accept the situation and the various ways it can turn out. On larger, 'heavier' subjects, it can take time or multiple sessions of continuing to let go and allow resistance before clarity can come in - but that's not always the case. Sometimes letting go can bring instantaneous, often miraculous results. It would be very useful for you to practically play with this idea (and I encourage you discover the truth of it for yourself) by using it on less contentious subjects. For example, you can't decide between two meals to eat. Or you don't know which movie to watch, what clothes you want to wear, who you want to hang out with today, etc. When you feel unsure on the subject and its causing you discomfort, apply the practice of unconditionally allowing the discomfort and resistance to be there. Accepting it, and the various outcomes. Accept that you may even choose the 'wrong' thing but that you'd still be okay with it. Then observe the results. You will know clarity when it comes, because it is joyous, expansive, relieving and comes with a sense of vitality. As you keep repeating this process with various difficulties in your life, you'll gain an increased sense of self-esteem and understanding. Leo's video on the subject is EXCELLENT.

+1 for Anandamayi Ma

I think people definitely have different temperaments. Some people prefer to be alone to be creative or read, introspect or whatever more often than being out. That being said, I think the vast majority of people use introversion as an excuse for the inability to connect and cope with social experiences and relationships. Or the inability to express themselves properly. They end up mistaking social conditioning and emotional blocks as their temperament, which is kind of excused by this introvert/extrovert paradigm. 'It's just who I am.' Even introverts have the innate ability and perhaps even birthright to feel good, expansive and connect deeply in all circumstances. I bet there are lots of people who would be alarmed at how extroverted their behavior and lifestyle would be if they shed fears. A healthy introvert may choose to sit alone instead of being with others, but is fully comfortable with either situation.

Lol definitely inspired by Leo the lion himself. Endearing, I think. Might cause some slight controversy, but any publicity is good publicity right?

I was being facetious to poke fun at the people and websites that have lots of spurious claims on the subject. Though I suppose stranger things occur...

Bro it's not one or the other. Do you understand there has been no greater time in the history of humanity to do what YOU want and also have it be very lucrative? Don't want to work the 9-5? Then decide that's not how you'll be living your life and figure it out dude. Your blockage here isn't a practical one, it's an emotional one. Your emotions and your root beliefs about money and how it's made are literally blinding you. One day when you release those you will think this was the silliest question. Find out what you love and figure out a way to make to make money off of it. The source of your income doesn't necessarily need to be based off your primary passion either. Gain some skills like marketing, get a basic understanding of the entrepreneurial mindset and landscape. This stuff is really exciting. You may have to work a 9-5 in the short term to gain basic equity if necessary or just to get you rolling - but is that really so bad? Is it so bad to actually experience something less than your ideal on your journey forward? Use it as an opportunity to sink in new things and appreciate the contrast and inspiration you can allow it to create before you move onto the next bigger steps. Also working a 9-5 can be nice because if your goal is self actualization and self development then you can serve as an inspiration and just general beacon of positivity that some people and work places desperately need. Is it so bad to be of service to others? If you are unhappy doing what you are doing now, you will be unhappy with the money and extra time on your hands. No way around that. You have unlimited abundance of content in your experience to allow you to grow, but you are telling yourself it isn't available until X Y and Z are in place. The landscape and potential are endless. Change your mindset, change your frames.

Honestly bro I live in Australia. Very different to New York! Even in winter here it's really not too bad so I can't compare. In summer it is even enjoyable if you can imagine that, lol. I do wish I could live in a cold country because cold showers bring a different level of intensity. Awesome man, thank you.

My suggestion is that these thoughts have roots in emotional imprints. Attempting to manipulate and reason at the thought level is like trying to kill a tree by snipping away at a few of its leaves. They'll just grow again, and in fact it may even promote growth. When the thoughts arise, instead of noting the thought, note the emotional signature that comes with it. This is the culprit, and it is far more effective to work through the emotional charge (the trunk or roots of the tree) than it is the mind and intellect. When the emotional charges are allowed to integrate and release, with them, the thoughts too disappear. Understand that catastrophe is not out there, rather there is an experience of emotional catastrophe within that is attempting to keep you safe by creating an endless stream of thought forms. Your job is to recognize that it is misguided, acknowledge it for its innocence and allow the emotions to be there unconditionally. This unravels them, integrates and dissolves. The reason Eckhart Tolle describes beautiful experiences, but you are experiencing such 'horrible things' (which by the way, are the grace that allows you to grow) is because he has dissolved much of the internal blocks and emotional charges, which allows for a deepening of experience. It is ok to be where you are, and know that the experience only gets deeper and more radiant as time goes on. As you keep meditating, being aware in day to day experiences and allowing emotional imprints to unravel as they arise, experience gets easier and negative thoughts occur less and less, and eventually, not at all.

How long ago was your last acid trip that you described? I've had a similar experience on acid years ago. This was when I was first introduced to concepts of chakras and energy systems and I didn't really know what to think about them, so I was sitting in the park high and just for fun decided if I could 'raise energy up my body' as a goof to see if anything would happen. An intense rumbling energy started from my lower body and raised upwards like it was vibrating intensely. It went up through the crown of my head and dispersed. I was left feeling incredibly vital. A minute or two later I would sit to meditate and it was just waves of the highest bliss I'd ever remembered feeling at the time. That experience turned me on to yoga and pranayama practices. Experiences like these are exciting but no good comes from becoming attached to them. They also take months and years to integrate and balance from, even if it doesn't feel like a lot is happening. Judging from the intensity of your experience, I would take care in your lifestyle, practices and psychedelic experiences. Take great heed. Allow the energy to subtly do its thing over time. Sometimes these intense experience come for a few moments or an hour or two or a day and then go away. If you keep pushing the river, however, sometimes you may trigger an experience of that intensity that can last days, weeks, months or longer. It can be harrowing. Lackadaisical attitude towards this kind of stuff can occasionally afford you reprimand from the universe. My advice is trip less, meditate more, and avoid practices that focus heavily on moving energy or focusing on energy centers.

Also as a general note, I've noticed when statements like "how do I deal with lower vibrational people, they bring me down" are made, it usually implies that we're nowhere near as 'high' relative to the people we're judging as we think we are. When our "vibration" rises, it doesn't necessarily mean that relating to and enjoying relative "lower vibrational people" is more difficult. In fact the opposite should be the case because you should understand the place they're coming from better than they do, assuming you have passed through similar stages with basic mastery, as is implied. Compassion and ease should be the natural response. When it's a frustrating experience, then it's probably a sign to drop judgements and keep working on yourself.

I have gone through periods of taking cold showers. Ask anyone who is enthusiastic about cold showers; they will tell you it gives you confidence, vitality, better skin, increase libido, improve your immune system, detoxify the body, increase testosterone, reverse the balding process, make your balls bigger, it'll cure cancer, make you taller, straighten your teeth and even do your taxes for you. Now I've seen very little evidence supporting any of the more common claims. I've made a few lazy attempts at finding research but didn't find anything good. I bet there's probably more interesting studies and evidence now that Wim Hof is on the scene trying to legitimize his work. Though less about cold showers and more about impact of cold treatment and breathing. (Check him out if you're not aware. His first joe rogan podcast is excellent) but nothing that I've been exposed to... My personal experience has been that they make me feel really good. They are indeed very revitalizing and I really liked the effects it had on my skin and hair. They are a nice exercise for facing something uncomfortable each day. Part of the reason I like it is that it's never 100% easy to do. Especially after taking a break, you get butterflies in your stomach before you do it and your mind and body kick in and convince you not to do it, but ideally you choose to do it anyway. i believe this to be a powerful psychological exercise because I have never gotten out of a cold shower having regret it. It makes me feel awake and empowered in a way that other practices don't. So when you are in an experience that can help you grow but you know will be uncomfortable; you also know that you have been here before and you know how it goes... that your mind will try to trick you but if you power through it you will receive the gains. edit: oops, just realized the question was for leo. well there's my 2 cents

It is not wrong to stick to ones personal values. Though it sounds to me like this is less about sticking to your values and more about using smaller arbitrary things as an excuse not to face something that is going to be uncomfortable. I think you know which option is the high road to take but you're hoping we excuse the other. To be blunt about the cigarette smoke: Big deal unless you're asthmatic or something, and even then you could probably make it work. Is it more important than being there for your mum? From what you've said on paper, yeah I think it's better to be with her in this time. I certainly don't expect you to sleep in his bed... No doubt it will probably be strenuous, but if you want to know if it is the more courageous and loving option; you know the answer is yes. That being said, that's all easy for me to say, as I'm not in your position nor do I know the grief you're going through. I fail to make courageous choices all the time. Life goes on, I guess. If you don't stay with her then at least forgive yourself and be OK with doing that. Let her know it's hard for you and be with her when it is tolerable to do so. Wishing you strength and love.

Yeah it's rough. The highs get higher and the lows get lower. Fortunately your baseline increases with it and life only throws as much as you can handle. Though by design it often feels like more than we can handle, lol.

You might think a bit differently if you watched Leo wake up in the morning and take a shit.

I think you'll discover them automatically as you start to get rid of fear and the social conditioning that expects you to do X Y and Z. Just start to pay attention to what excites you and follow those pursuits. Even if you don't know how you can capitalize on them and make them a life goal or a vocation, just explore things that are interesting to you. This requires the ability to feel inside for subtle feelings and the inner voice. That's a natural byproduct of meditation, so keep meditating. If you think nothing excites or interests you, then lower your bar of what exciting means and explore whatever feels best. Sometimes what feels best may only seem like a 1% improvement from sitting on the couch staring at a wall. That's ok, follow and take action on the thing that feels 1% better. That might be reading a book, learning about a new skill, watching a TV show that feels inspiring, drawing, talking to someone, whatever. Over time, doing this increases the momentum and you make larger exciting leaps of self discovery. In my experience, over time these things grow and become more clear as you take little steps. You don't have to know immediately what you want to pursue. It is enough to know that you want to know. That's more than a lot of people, and setting your intention strongly on that exploration will have good effects on the outcome. Oh yeah, and Leo kind of has an entire course dedicated to this subject. ;)

Patience, time. It may have roots in deep emotional tension. One month of meditation is not going to resolve all our bad habits and neurotic behaviors, but that is ok because you are making lots of gains. In fact sometimes things get a lot worse before they get better. Brother I suggest you be kinder to yourself about it. When we are so attached to needing something to heal, then we block the natural unfolding of it. Think of the aspect of you that is doing the behavior like an innocent child inside of you. Every time you judge the action you are turning to him and saying "god, why do you do that? you're making life hard." but he cannot help it because that's who he is. Imagine going to the doctor with the child (which is you) and saying "There's something wrong with him... I've tried to make him better but he is still doing the same embarrassing, uncomfortable things. How do I make him stop? He is a real problem in my life" Imagine how that would make that child feel. That is what you are doing to yourself. Like yelling at a child who has a stuttering problem, the stuttering isn't going to go away. In this way, you need to accept your habit like a parent should unconditionally accept a child's imperfections. When you are fully OK whether it stays or goes, paradoxically it will relieve itself.

I'm not sure specifically what you mean by The Void since I've heard the terminology used in different ways. Sounds a bit like you're referring to deep emotional charges that come up during growth. There's no single answer that will relieve the experience. Emotional charges dissolve by releasing attachment to them and allowing them to be as they are. The conventional wisdom is to choose courage, look forward and keep walking. These things pass. They always do. You can go into semantics of whether or not any experience within us truly 'goes away', but there certainly does come a point where you personally stop aligning with the experience. You're never 'done' with the Work as a whole. You'll always be growing and integrating. When it comes to deep emotional experiences and how long to sit with them (meaning sometimes it's like "fuck, how long am I actually going to be willing to sit with this pain? hours? days?") just do it for as long as you have the ability to. It is very, very rare that the entire experience will remain with you to be healed and integrated in one long stream. Naturally life gives you breaks and the experience will kind of return to the backgroud, so to speak, to allow you to heal/integrate in controlled doses so you don't go crazy. Prepare by focusing your will and deciding that when the experience arises, you will simply do your best. btw nice avatar, the red alert series was great

all talk

Some people love running. Can they run forever? You must rest. It is incredibly important to have down time to rest the body and the mind and allow things to integrate. There is no way around it. Don't believe it? Discover it for yourself, but make sure you are very self aware and keep track about how you're really feeling and how productive you are, lest you trick yourself. Your mind will eventually wear and you'll be producing a lot of cortisol. Buzzing back and forth and running on this cortisol stress high, people feel like they're getting a lot done and think they're constantly hustling, but it is haphazard and ineffective. It will never compare to the man who understands the balance and rhythms of the body and life. Your body, your mind, your energetic system, your immune system, your relationships and your goals will suffer. That's what happens to people who don't create downtime. Working non stop is not sustainable. This means you have to create balance. Different temperaments require difference balances. Some people think they can get away with not sleeping, not resting and not taking downtime. They lack awareness and it'll cost them eventually. So cover the basics: Sleep enough hours every day, don't pull all nighters unless they are very necessary, make sure you are hydrated and getting proper nutrition and eating well. On top of that, the most critical things are to meditate regularly and/or create time for true rest. Watching TV, listening to the radio and talking with friends don't count. I mean truly relaxing the mind and laying down doing nothing. Set aside time for it every day. goooooood discover the importance of balancing the yang with yin

Bears. Gotta be.