Arman

Honestly bro I live in Australia. Very different to New York! Even in winter here it's really not too bad so I can't compare. In summer it is even enjoyable if you can imagine that, lol. I do wish I could live in a cold country because cold showers bring a different level of intensity. Awesome man, thank you.

My suggestion is that these thoughts have roots in emotional imprints. Attempting to manipulate and reason at the thought level is like trying to kill a tree by snipping away at a few of its leaves. They'll just grow again, and in fact it may even promote growth. When the thoughts arise, instead of noting the thought, note the emotional signature that comes with it. This is the culprit, and it is far more effective to work through the emotional charge (the trunk or roots of the tree) than it is the mind and intellect. When the emotional charges are allowed to integrate and release, with them, the thoughts too disappear. Understand that catastrophe is not out there, rather there is an experience of emotional catastrophe within that is attempting to keep you safe by creating an endless stream of thought forms. Your job is to recognize that it is misguided, acknowledge it for its innocence and allow the emotions to be there unconditionally. This unravels them, integrates and dissolves. The reason Eckhart Tolle describes beautiful experiences, but you are experiencing such 'horrible things' (which by the way, are the grace that allows you to grow) is because he has dissolved much of the internal blocks and emotional charges, which allows for a deepening of experience. It is ok to be where you are, and know that the experience only gets deeper and more radiant as time goes on. As you keep meditating, being aware in day to day experiences and allowing emotional imprints to unravel as they arise, experience gets easier and negative thoughts occur less and less, and eventually, not at all.

How long ago was your last acid trip that you described? I've had a similar experience on acid years ago. This was when I was first introduced to concepts of chakras and energy systems and I didn't really know what to think about them, so I was sitting in the park high and just for fun decided if I could 'raise energy up my body' as a goof to see if anything would happen. An intense rumbling energy started from my lower body and raised upwards like it was vibrating intensely. It went up through the crown of my head and dispersed. I was left feeling incredibly vital. A minute or two later I would sit to meditate and it was just waves of the highest bliss I'd ever remembered feeling at the time. That experience turned me on to yoga and pranayama practices. Experiences like these are exciting but no good comes from becoming attached to them. They also take months and years to integrate and balance from, even if it doesn't feel like a lot is happening. Judging from the intensity of your experience, I would take care in your lifestyle, practices and psychedelic experiences. Take great heed. Allow the energy to subtly do its thing over time. Sometimes these intense experience come for a few moments or an hour or two or a day and then go away. If you keep pushing the river, however, sometimes you may trigger an experience of that intensity that can last days, weeks, months or longer. It can be harrowing. Lackadaisical attitude towards this kind of stuff can occasionally afford you reprimand from the universe. My advice is trip less, meditate more, and avoid practices that focus heavily on moving energy or focusing on energy centers.

Also as a general note, I've noticed when statements like "how do I deal with lower vibrational people, they bring me down" are made, it usually implies that we're nowhere near as 'high' relative to the people we're judging as we think we are. When our "vibration" rises, it doesn't necessarily mean that relating to and enjoying relative "lower vibrational people" is more difficult. In fact the opposite should be the case because you should understand the place they're coming from better than they do, assuming you have passed through similar stages with basic mastery, as is implied. Compassion and ease should be the natural response. When it's a frustrating experience, then it's probably a sign to drop judgements and keep working on yourself.

I have gone through periods of taking cold showers. Ask anyone who is enthusiastic about cold showers; they will tell you it gives you confidence, vitality, better skin, increase libido, improve your immune system, detoxify the body, increase testosterone, reverse the balding process, make your balls bigger, it'll cure cancer, make you taller, straighten your teeth and even do your taxes for you. Now I've seen very little evidence supporting any of the more common claims. I've made a few lazy attempts at finding research but didn't find anything good. I bet there's probably more interesting studies and evidence now that Wim Hof is on the scene trying to legitimize his work. Though less about cold showers and more about impact of cold treatment and breathing. (Check him out if you're not aware. His first joe rogan podcast is excellent) but nothing that I've been exposed to... My personal experience has been that they make me feel really good. They are indeed very revitalizing and I really liked the effects it had on my skin and hair. They are a nice exercise for facing something uncomfortable each day. Part of the reason I like it is that it's never 100% easy to do. Especially after taking a break, you get butterflies in your stomach before you do it and your mind and body kick in and convince you not to do it, but ideally you choose to do it anyway. i believe this to be a powerful psychological exercise because I have never gotten out of a cold shower having regret it. It makes me feel awake and empowered in a way that other practices don't. So when you are in an experience that can help you grow but you know will be uncomfortable; you also know that you have been here before and you know how it goes... that your mind will try to trick you but if you power through it you will receive the gains. edit: oops, just realized the question was for leo. well there's my 2 cents

It is not wrong to stick to ones personal values. Though it sounds to me like this is less about sticking to your values and more about using smaller arbitrary things as an excuse not to face something that is going to be uncomfortable. I think you know which option is the high road to take but you're hoping we excuse the other. To be blunt about the cigarette smoke: Big deal unless you're asthmatic or something, and even then you could probably make it work. Is it more important than being there for your mum? From what you've said on paper, yeah I think it's better to be with her in this time. I certainly don't expect you to sleep in his bed... No doubt it will probably be strenuous, but if you want to know if it is the more courageous and loving option; you know the answer is yes. That being said, that's all easy for me to say, as I'm not in your position nor do I know the grief you're going through. I fail to make courageous choices all the time. Life goes on, I guess. If you don't stay with her then at least forgive yourself and be OK with doing that. Let her know it's hard for you and be with her when it is tolerable to do so. Wishing you strength and love.

Yeah it's rough. The highs get higher and the lows get lower. Fortunately your baseline increases with it and life only throws as much as you can handle. Though by design it often feels like more than we can handle, lol.

You might think a bit differently if you watched Leo wake up in the morning and take a shit.

I think you'll discover them automatically as you start to get rid of fear and the social conditioning that expects you to do X Y and Z. Just start to pay attention to what excites you and follow those pursuits. Even if you don't know how you can capitalize on them and make them a life goal or a vocation, just explore things that are interesting to you. This requires the ability to feel inside for subtle feelings and the inner voice. That's a natural byproduct of meditation, so keep meditating. If you think nothing excites or interests you, then lower your bar of what exciting means and explore whatever feels best. Sometimes what feels best may only seem like a 1% improvement from sitting on the couch staring at a wall. That's ok, follow and take action on the thing that feels 1% better. That might be reading a book, learning about a new skill, watching a TV show that feels inspiring, drawing, talking to someone, whatever. Over time, doing this increases the momentum and you make larger exciting leaps of self discovery. In my experience, over time these things grow and become more clear as you take little steps. You don't have to know immediately what you want to pursue. It is enough to know that you want to know. That's more than a lot of people, and setting your intention strongly on that exploration will have good effects on the outcome. Oh yeah, and Leo kind of has an entire course dedicated to this subject. ;)

Patience, time. It may have roots in deep emotional tension. One month of meditation is not going to resolve all our bad habits and neurotic behaviors, but that is ok because you are making lots of gains. In fact sometimes things get a lot worse before they get better. Brother I suggest you be kinder to yourself about it. When we are so attached to needing something to heal, then we block the natural unfolding of it. Think of the aspect of you that is doing the behavior like an innocent child inside of you. Every time you judge the action you are turning to him and saying "god, why do you do that? you're making life hard." but he cannot help it because that's who he is. Imagine going to the doctor with the child (which is you) and saying "There's something wrong with him... I've tried to make him better but he is still doing the same embarrassing, uncomfortable things. How do I make him stop? He is a real problem in my life" Imagine how that would make that child feel. That is what you are doing to yourself. Like yelling at a child who has a stuttering problem, the stuttering isn't going to go away. In this way, you need to accept your habit like a parent should unconditionally accept a child's imperfections. When you are fully OK whether it stays or goes, paradoxically it will relieve itself.

I'm not sure specifically what you mean by The Void since I've heard the terminology used in different ways. Sounds a bit like you're referring to deep emotional charges that come up during growth. There's no single answer that will relieve the experience. Emotional charges dissolve by releasing attachment to them and allowing them to be as they are. The conventional wisdom is to choose courage, look forward and keep walking. These things pass. They always do. You can go into semantics of whether or not any experience within us truly 'goes away', but there certainly does come a point where you personally stop aligning with the experience. You're never 'done' with the Work as a whole. You'll always be growing and integrating. When it comes to deep emotional experiences and how long to sit with them (meaning sometimes it's like "fuck, how long am I actually going to be willing to sit with this pain? hours? days?") just do it for as long as you have the ability to. It is very, very rare that the entire experience will remain with you to be healed and integrated in one long stream. Naturally life gives you breaks and the experience will kind of return to the backgroud, so to speak, to allow you to heal/integrate in controlled doses so you don't go crazy. Prepare by focusing your will and deciding that when the experience arises, you will simply do your best. btw nice avatar, the red alert series was great

all talk

Some people love running. Can they run forever? You must rest. It is incredibly important to have down time to rest the body and the mind and allow things to integrate. There is no way around it. Don't believe it? Discover it for yourself, but make sure you are very self aware and keep track about how you're really feeling and how productive you are, lest you trick yourself. Your mind will eventually wear and you'll be producing a lot of cortisol. Buzzing back and forth and running on this cortisol stress high, people feel like they're getting a lot done and think they're constantly hustling, but it is haphazard and ineffective. It will never compare to the man who understands the balance and rhythms of the body and life. Your body, your mind, your energetic system, your immune system, your relationships and your goals will suffer. That's what happens to people who don't create downtime. Working non stop is not sustainable. This means you have to create balance. Different temperaments require difference balances. Some people think they can get away with not sleeping, not resting and not taking downtime. They lack awareness and it'll cost them eventually. So cover the basics: Sleep enough hours every day, don't pull all nighters unless they are very necessary, make sure you are hydrated and getting proper nutrition and eating well. On top of that, the most critical things are to meditate regularly and/or create time for true rest. Watching TV, listening to the radio and talking with friends don't count. I mean truly relaxing the mind and laying down doing nothing. Set aside time for it every day. goooooood discover the importance of balancing the yang with yin

Bears. Gotta be.

In fact, it's a very common pitfall and stepping stone. I suggest that yes indeed there is a genuine joy from activity and work, though you should explore this for your own. Perhaps inquire into what 'genuine joy' means to you. The more we dissolve neurosis, the more genuine joy we can experience as opposed to lesser pleasures. Lesser pleasures might stimulate us temporarily but come with a cost and lead to unhappiness down the line. These are different to experiences of genuine joy, which occur when we can let go of the the 'neurosis of ego'. The mind has these neurotic contractions through its innocence, attempting to grasp at and attach itself through the various different facets of experience in order to increase joy and resist and escape pain, but in doing so actually detracts from genuine joy and creates further neurosis. This does not however, mean that all experiences, all desires, all pleasures and all striving are merely the projection of ego contraction. It almost seems there is an implication that if we were to dissolve ego, we wouldn't wish to do anything. But that's just not the case. Consider plants and nature and the way life carries on creating. Even plants have a kind of striving. Are they doing so out of their neurosis? I'm sure that's true for a lot of people, but not all. Depends on the degree of awareness. Generally speaking, I personally think that many western values do tend to drive people deeper into neurosis and fear driven ego, but that doesn't have to be the case. I think it's more of a reflection of where humanity is at in general. Possibly... maybe even probably. Explore for yourself and discover your motives. If you discover they are based in fear, lack or other qualities of the contracted ego, then aim to remove and dissolve these things. Once dissolved, it doesn't necessarily mean you won't want to be an architect anymore. You may continue to seek and move towards that goal but with greater results, more ease and you'll be less likely to create more neurosis. Your goal will be more in line with good qualities like love, creativity and expansion. Or maybe you discover something that excites you far, far more.

I like your questions. I think you're on the precipice of understanding. I really like Leo's video on confusion and embracing it and letting it do its thing. In my experience, it is an intense paradox. It's true that these pursuits don't bring fulfillment inherently, but rather, it seems the case that they (meaning the pursuits, actions, material circumstances, paths etc) will facilitate and mirror fulfillment as a spontaneous emanation of inherent fulfilled Being. That is to say, if you know you are already fulfilled regardless of material circumstances, then you will gravitate and align with fulfilling circumstances. Alternatively, if you believe that you need material circumstances to fulfill you, then you will align with experiences that reinforce the sense that you need something to make you feel better. Ironically this leaves you never feeling fulfilled. This is an endless loop. Therefore, the practical application of this understanding (as I present it, anyway) can be seen in two ways. They may seem contradictory but that's paradox for you 1. Look at your basic fundamental assumption; that you need to do anything in order to be fulfilled, aka, 'I am not enough, I am lack, and I must take action in order to relieve this lack' -- and then simply choose to believe otherwise. That you are fulfilled as is. Repeat and instill this belief until you know that no actions are necessary. 2. Take actions anyway. In the face of your discomfort, fear and confusion, act anyway! Act in the knowing that you are already fulfilled, but explorations of the material world, experiences, different paths etc is what Fulfillment or Being wants and does. It is simply its nature. Do both, burn the candle at both ends and over time (after all, just understanding these concepts intellectually or having a few moments of energetic clarity about the matter won't dissolve your discomfort and confusion in one go) you'll start to grock it and things become more effortless and less strained.

the archetypes run deep

Thanks for exposing me to this. I just went through it. I found it both fun and insightful. I got Intuitive Mystic Sage as my top, also. I think whether you're a man or woman or whether you're dominantly poled towards feminine or masculine makes absolutely no difference. I think historically we see less female sages primarily for cultural reasons. Also I once heard a teacher respond to the question of why there aren't more women saints/enlightened beings. I can't remember which teacher it was, but he said that it's not the case, rather that we are just exposed more to the men. Part of their response/reasoning was to simply state that women are just less inclined to 'brag', so to speak. Not to say that saints are going to be bragging, but in the sense that women are just less inclined to do spontaneous public discourses, create a gathering of followers, etc. Rather, I am sure, they are quietly doing their own profound work in solitude or within their community. Hence we just see far less of them.

you and I both, brother you and I both

you don't need psychic abilities to attract women, that's sounds a little rapey other than that it sounds good. go for it.

Very normal. Be well rested and stay hydrated.

I've found it to be experientially accurate, yes. Power vs Force is a really fascinating book if you haven't read it. Supposedly the entire framework has been calibrated through Kinesiology, which is a radical and contentious notion to say the least. It's a rabbit hole of an idea, once you opt into it, it has some pretty wild implications.

God's a touchy subject. I'll paste an extract for the guidelines as a brief reminder to myself to keep on track. Feel free to substitute the word God for Spirit, The Universe, or whatever. In many spiritual disciplines and paths, either a personal or impersonal relationship with God is a tool for transcending or becoming enlightened. I think some might say it can be limiting or misguided, other might say it is useful, some might say it is fundamental. I personally think that given different paths, all these are true at one point or another. For example in the Bakhti school of yoga, the primary practice is one of devotion. Thinking of God at all given moments seems to me like one of (or) the primary practice/s. Here are two extracts from the Bhagavad Gita, a cornerstone hindu scripture. In this context, Krishna is the embodiment and representation of God. We could say that within these practices or paths that the idea of God (or any avatar) is only a symbolic representation of some transcendental omnipresent object, but still, it remains clear to me still that many saints and revered yogi's maintain a very sweet and personal inner relationship, almost like with a lover or something. I also personally suspect that many of these individuals have reached enlightenment. So what are your opinions and experiences on this subject? What is your personal relationships, if any, with God or the universe?

I suggest you dive deep into your fear of death.

I believe its meaning is of the life force or primal energy of all creation. It's can also be used symbolically to describe the energetic awakening process of the individual as described by eastern yogic traditions. As kundalini awakes, consciousness rises as the energy centers open and the body is purified of conditioning. (and merges with the infinite?) Any practices based on raising kundalini (especially pranayamas) should be done with great care and after a lot of study to reduce risk of difficulty or calamity. Ideally under guidance. Yeah, the first one.