Arman

Take more time to deeply relax.

For sure. That's a solid statement. I was curious as to how much it looks physically more in regards to how taxing it is on the sinuses. I agree though, not weighing and dosing 5meo is playing with fire.

Few questions for anyone with the experience: Is one more likely to have the full infinity/breakthrough experience by smoking than snorting? Also how much does 30mg look like physically as a line? Is it one thin line? More? How much does 30mg or an other amount end up in terms of vapor inhalations? Like to have DMT breakthroughs I know sometimes you'd need to light, take in as much as you can, exhale, then continue to vaporize and inhale again. Can a full does of 5meo be smoked in one hit? - Also does it give you at least a few short seconds to put your pipe down and away from you? Is the rectal route done by dissolving it with water and then using a syringe? 5meo is probably one of the few drugs I'd try that route since it's worth doing it right and I think rectal administration generally comes on smoother than sublingual. It's the closest thing to an IV experience with some drugs. Plus anytime asks you about how you experienced becoming infinity you can tell them you put something in your butt.

I had all these symptoms a few years back. I took an analogue ayahuasca and had what an adverse reaction. I relate with the brain fog, fatigue and difficulty sleeping, understanding and talking. I remember I would mistype words all the time kind of like a phones auto-correct does and it picks a random word. I'd want to type "I'll see you at the park" for instance and i'd end up writing "I'll see you at the flower" because my brain mixed up related words. The fog really sucked. It was emotionally and physically strenuous. The memory problems made life difficult. Take my word for it when I tell you it was likely just as bad as what you're going through. The good news is that the brain and body recover remarkably. For me most of the serious symptoms cleared up within the first 6 months to a year. I suspect yours will probably be quicker. I relate to when you say "I just really don't see how I'll ever shine out of this" because it feels like so much damage is done that it's difficult to imagine if you'll ever be as sharp, energized and happy as you were. The truth is you will far exceed those levels and be happier and healthier then ever, in time. I believe these experiences are supposed to happen. They are supposed to feel like back sliding, it is just part of the process. Your body is far more resilient, responsive and powerful then you are giving credit for. From the tone of your initial post it seems you are deeply invested in the story of these external things like food and supplements as being responsible for everything you're going through. I don't wish to negate your experience but it's not useful to focus on these stories. Besides you can never fully know why you're going through what you're going through. Don't fall into the self perpetuating victim belief that poor little you has bad luck and everything is just going to spiral downwards because you wanted to improve yourself yet only made these things. Was it out of the belief that there was something wrong with you in the first place that you sought these things? Perhaps it only reinforced the idea that something is wrong. I also suggest you drop the affirmations. Affirmations are generally not necessarily that helpful and require the right frame to be useful. Otherwise they continue to reinforce the idea that there is a problem. You can say 'I am happy, I am healthy' - but does someone who is happy and healthy use affirmations? No, they wouldn't need to. I suggest you replace your affirmation practice with the simpler practice of gratitude for the things that you still have. Anyway just some food for thought there... The main thing is please know that all that is needed is patience, basic good diet, staying hydrated and basic exercise. Even these things aren't necessary, but help the process. Experiences like this make us stronger. It is time to use this as an opportunity to be grounded, healthy, and happy, regardless of what your external experience is telling you. That is the way that you will shift your physical reality - but aligning inwards with well-being, regardless of what your previous identity was. If you can take small steps to be happy and tranquil as life is now, then how powerful will that 'skill' be when you are healthy and happy again? You will know that it doesn't matter what your body and environment is like, that from your center of awareness it is like being in the eye of the storm and you can move from victim-hood to being empowered. Take it one day at a time brother. Wishing you the best.

It is a very tricky one because looking at physical reality one can come to the conclusion that all life is deterministic, but then, by switching awareness and detaching from experience, you can start to realize that just your intent and focus alone can seem to change the probable outcome of any given reality at any given time - so it seems that it's generated from within. However then you could say that very impulse to go within and set intention may also be subject to that same determinism. Perhaps it's a combination of both free will and determinism - because one subset or partition of reality (ie. physical reality) can be a lot more predetermined than another, possibly even entirely deterministic until interacted with by a space of higher free will awareness (ie. our individuated soul.) I suspect that the answer isn't going to be binary so much as spectral; like various degrees of decision space, at one end being god which has unlimited power and unlimited free will, and at the other end being the most limited forms of decision space. Like rocks would be closer to this end.

You are on the right path and asking the right questions. Pardon my longer answers, I want to answer thoroughly. Expressing is different to experiencing and letting go. Choosing to experience and letting go are effective and productive, where as expressing is usually ineffective. The reason these energetic charges build up is because of our unwillingness to actually experience them. Usually these emotional charges first imprint when you are a kid through some kind of environmental stimuli. We experience various traumas and naturally we resist the negative emotions and suppress them because we don't know what else to do with the energy. Resisting can be done by physically contracting the body, distracting ourselves, projecting, or any other number of behaviors. Because we are unwilling to be with the emotions and the energies, then they are never processed or integrated. They stagnate and stop our development - not to mention they don't feel very good. Expressing our emotions usually at best just sedates the experience or allows just enough pressure release for you not to feel it anymore, but it doesn't really address the issue or allow it to release. Not to mention it can be readily used as an excuse to be hurtful to people, or act poorly and feel justified. The best way to resolve emotional charges is to be with them unconditionally as they arise. Accept and allow the emotions and they will unravel because awareness is placed on them and the energy is able to process. Awareness is like a magic wand - when you point it at things you love, they expand, and when you point it on things that are uncomfortable, they dissolve. We have an endless number of unconscious behaviors that will do whatever it takes to make you focus on anything other than the emotion. For example, arguing, eating, checking your phone, gossiping, doing drugs, getting caught up in mind projections, etc. Firstly, active life energy is spent constantly suppressing all these emotions. It takes more energy to suppress them than it does to willingly experience them. This uses up tremendous reserves and makes us kind of weak, miserly and ineffective. Your suppressed emotions are greatly defining your reality and supporting many of your belief systems. You may think your belief systems and self image are a reflection of an objective reality, but you don't see the lengths at which reality is being filtered through your belief systems which are supported by irrational emotional charges. For example someone might think that life is a very dangerous place that is always taking advantage of them - and they will experience that and constantly align with data that reinforced that belief system because the emotion of fear has been unresolved and is still colouring the reality subconsciously. People build entire belief systems, paradigms, groups, political movements, and relationships built upon emotional charges. Many behaviors that supposedly purport to overcome negativity actually serve to perpetuate the emotional charges. That is why victimhood can't be overcome through focusing on the vibration of victimhood. It will only reinforce the energy. Only uncondtional presence and acceptance of what is can resolve victimhood. There are tens of thousands of thought, judgements and beliefs that are being fueled by unintegrated emotions. Lots of repetitive thought forms and areas in life that are stagnant are usually the result of emotional charges. By releasing the emotions at the root, automatically many limiting beliefs and reality filters are dissolved. Reality then shifts. As emotions are released, life energy increases and you feel better in your body. The natural human tendency after releasing resistance is to gravitate towards more loving and creative behavior. Blockages in your experience resolve. One also becomes much more effective in the world because as you release resistance, your baseline experience goes up and you align with experienced that are manifested by your conscious intent instead of your subconscious suppressed emotions. It is not necessary to go digging for repressed emotions. It is not as if when we repress an emotion that we are only going to feel it's effect when it has flared into your awareness - rather they are always present and effecting your reality. You need look no further than the most immediate now, as there is always some kind of emotional charge present. These emotions are going to be naturally triggered all day long in your relationships, your work, your spirituailty, your day to day errands, your mind, etc. There is a constant flow of these suppressed energies emerging as various thoughts, discomforts, struggles, fatigue, low energy, physical ailments, etc.' Choose to start being more conscious of how you feel and start to put awareness into emotions that arise. Notice that the reflexive response (automative subconscious behaviors) is to sedate, suppress or experience the emotion. Instead of choosing to do these things, when they come up, you acknowledge them, accept them, allow them to be and keep your gentle awareness on the experience, knowing the energies of the emotion are releasing. This is where meditation comes in handy because it trains maintaining that kind of awareness. By doing this day to day as emotions and experiences arise, you'll follow the bread crumb trail to deeper charges, naturally gain insight and start to become more in touch with suppressed emotions. But it's not necessarily useful to go on a mission to uncover deep emotions and supressed things. This simply reinforces the belief that "I will be happy when x y and z happens." - "I will be happy when I release these negative emotions" Rather discover for yourself that being present with emotions and releasing them not only has long term benefit, but has remarkable immediate benefits and uses as well. It radically transforms experiences and you start to become an active transmuter of energy and someone who can use all situations as opportunities to grow, instead of being a victim to the emotions and energies of life.

I want to share a startling experience I've had recently. This isn't a particularly serious thread. I hope it is not inappropriate in nature because I'm not really asking anything or putting forth anything very solid, but it's just been something on my mind recently and I want to share for fun. So if that's ok with you, I hope you enjoy reading ahead. My world view is always changing, and it has gotten really wobbly, fluid and dreamy, as opposed to the once stable and firm appearance it had. I think that this reality is basically of the same nature of dreams, especially in that it is a reflection of yourself, and that everything is you, talking to you, reflecting you. I think that dream psychology and symbolism applies to waking life. Perhaps you find that silly, but humour me. The last three days, including today, I have had startling experiences with spiders. The first day I am sitting at my computer in my bedroom, and a huge daddy long-leg spider descended from the ceiling and directly in front of my face, maybe like 10-15cm away. It suddenly came into focus as it was moving around its legs, floating and trying to find compass and it started the heck out of me. It could not have picked a more/less convenient place to drop. I don't remember that ever happening like that. Occasionally I see spiders floating down but never in my face. I watched him climb back to the ceiling and crawl across towards a corner. The next day (yesterday), once again, I am in the kitchen and suddenly from the ceiling it happened again, only this time it was a different kind of spider. Not a daddy long legs, but a more conventional looking one, with a small round body and little thick legs. Again, it descended literally right in front of my face, suddenly entering my vision and making me throw my head back. He reclined back towards the ceiling. I thought it was so strange for it to happen the second day in a row. I was kind of keeping the idea of it in my head, trying to feel for some significance as I stood over the oven on the other side of the room cooking some food, I swear the bastard did it AGAIN! He had crawled across the ceiling to drop right in front of my face. I was astonished, and it made my heart race a little bit. And so just 15-20 minutes ago I am looking at myself in the mirror in my bedroom, admiring my mothers honesty, in that yes, indeed, I am a handsome young man, when suddenly I notice that a small spider is not only hovering right next to my head, but the bastard is somehow attached to it! (and the ceiling simultaneously I imagine because he was floating) As I moved, he moved with me. That's the third spider, three days in a row that decided my head and face are the perfect place to play. --- From the first instance on the first day, I felt that there was some kind of deep symbolism to be evoked. I was reminded of an experience I hadn't thought of in a long time, which was my first encounter with DMT. It was in an orally active form; a capsule with an MAOI to allow for it to become orally active. As I sat there waiting for it to kick in, a rather large and ominous looking eight-legged friend decided to crawl across the carpet. It was one of the largest and oddest looking spiders I had seen. This startled me, and in my vulnerability (after all a very foreign psychedelic experience was imminent) I called my friend in, much like a house-wife in the 50s would call her husband, and he'd come in with his newspaper to lower his glasses and ask 'Damn it, Martha, what's all this ruckus?' Regrettably, I asked him to kill it. The DMT experience, from what I remember, lasted about 40 minutes or so. The experience was not a pleasant one, and perhaps rightfully so out of karmic rebuke from killing him/her. It was not the most insightful experience, but what I do remember was at one point these visuals emerging from the darkness. It was like an infinity of double helixes stacked upon each other, and I instinctively recognized it to be the nature of infinity. Not necessarily literally, but symbolically perhaps. I felt that every single minute point of each helix had its own infinity stack of more helixes that went turtles turtles turtles all the way down. On paper this is may sound interesting, even titillating, but experiencing this first hand was not pleasant. I simply could not handle the scale. The scale, my god man, the scale. It was so harrowing to me, the intricate webbing of infinity. I hence-force refer to that sense as the 'teeth-shattering scale.' It reminds me of in the Bhagavad Gita when Arjuna asks about Krishna's true form, and Krishna goes 'You wanna see some shit?' and promptly explodes into a billion infinities, to which Arjuna responds, 'Good GREIF, OK OK, I GET IT, JESUS CHRIST, PUT THE GENIE BACK IN THE BOTTLE!!!!' - or something like that, I may be paraphrasing slightly. Once that vision resided a little bit, the rest of the experience was mostly me crawled up on the floor wishing my mummy or some other benevolent force would soothe me. My friends cat may have sensed my call because he came to lay beside me. That night, he was my hero. I felt really strongly that the spider meant something, but I didn't understand it at that time. In retrospect it feels very fitting, given the experience I had. Jung says that one interpretation of the spider is that of the Shadow. The shadow being the unintegrated portion of ones psyche. The spiders web, however, being the symbol of wholeness, the mandala. Especially very recently, I am going through large shifts in integrating longstanding emotional charges and portions of myself that I have refused to look at for a very long time. A bit scary, at times; not knowing what is ahead. Also recently is this constantly returning theme of the infinite. I feel like I can't ignore it anymore. The more I let go of my emotional burdens, the more life is reminding me that it's all one intricate webbing which spans beyond comprehension, and that it is critical to remember and embody this. I feel as though the reason that initial appetizer with the infinite was so harrowing was because the experience had to be filtered through all my emotional charges and shadow. It was natural for it to evoke a deep sense of alienation, loneliness, and grief, because that was much of what I carried. Now, some of that weight has been lightened. I can open my eyes just a little bit wider and don't feel the need to run away from the idea. Perhaps that's what the spiders are telling me: to look. At least that is what comes to my mind, but who knows, perhaps the universe is simply telling me to get an exterminator.

You and 99% of all men. Including myself.

I bet there are many, google is your friend it's against forum rules

Darknet.

the soul takes on innumerable forms because it's fun, what else would it want to do? it's like kids playing dress up imagine kids playing 'the floor is lava' and they're crouched on top of the couch together, and suddenly one says "what kind of cruel existence is this? who would devise such a lava filled world, where all is fire and brimstone?" - then a few minutes later their mother calls them to dinner and the lava vanishes. that gives an idea of the absurdity of how serious we take this life. the reason we choose to experience a world with limitation is the same reason we play games that involve excitement, danger and limitation - because it is fun. what would be the use of playing a game called 'sit down and everything is fine.' - it might be nice for a minute or two then you would want more. in order to give in to the excitement you need to temporarily forget where you came from. if everyone knew they were infinite and immortal, they wouldn't be able to play this imagination game called being human, so they opt to temporarily forget the same way kids 'forget' that the floor is indeed not lava. if there was no suffering and limitation in this world, then suddenly the game that we created and CHOOSE to play would cease to be fun and useful. to quote the fleetwood mac song 'destiny rules': the spirits are ruthless in the paths they choose

Sam Harris is like WWE for people who outgrew (or suppressed) their love of muscles and spandex.

I'd address you but honestly I'm just too spiritually advanced and your ego is showing so pls get your act together.

Your question can't be answered because you're framing it on the false assumption that one can either choose authenticity or choose to be effective. They are not at odds. What is your definition of authenticity exactly? So are you telling me that who you truly are is at its root, ineffective? Do you think everyone's authentic self is ineffective, or are you telling yourself that it just so happens that YOUR authentic self uniquely has no impact? Authenticity is by nature effective because it's free from bullshit. It is direct, honest and collaborative. It sounds like the problem here is that you are looking at certain 'ego' behaviors and labeling them as your inauthentic self; then, after stripping or suppressing those behaviors, you're looking at what's left and you're assuming that is your authentic self, when really that is just yet another layer of subtle identity. Perhaps you're mistaken in thinking that is your authentic self because you haven't examined hard enough yet. It also sounds like impact and effectiveness are a core value to you; does that not mean they are a part of your authentic self? Why can you not work towards cultivating those qualities without labeling that process as inauthentic?

Altered brain chemistry is not going to be the root of the problem, it is yet another symptom of a root condition that will likely resolve itself given basic self care. Serotonin depletion is probably an oversimplification and there's little way of knowing if that's really the case. Those are symptoms of an endless amount of conditions and root causes. A common one can be emotional energetic upheaval that takes time to process out. I suggest not recommending anything that interferes with his meds. Eating lots of unprocessed fruits and vegetables, nuts, staying hydrated and moving the body will be more effective, like Safari Celeste said. He also needs to rest. The body knows best and it will balance itself out. Worry less. I'm glad you're caring for your friend. These things happen,

Callum has the right idea I think. It sounds like you're a little obsessed, but big deal, the mind gets attached to things. I think 'detoxing' is just going to reinforce the idea that it's some kind of problem. Just notice it. There is an energy charge behind the attachment that is using the image of Leo to express itself. If it wasn't on Leo it'd be on something else. So it's not a problem, just an opportunity to unravel it and grow. When it arises, notice it and unconditionally feel. It will unravel and have positive effects on the rest of your experience and other subjects.

Nicely done dude. Inspiring. Nothing wrong with pride - for some it is an important stepping stone for self love and growth. Pride raises people out of apathy. If you don't want to be proud, then transcend it and instead scale your perspective to see the beauty of what it is to set goals and meet them, and the majesty of mind, discipline, and all the factors that come together for these kinds of accomplishments. Gratitude not for what you've accomplished but for the life that you are a part of that allows accomplishment.

I would like to learn more about various breathing methods and their uses. In general I try to do deep yogic belly breathing and this proves useful, but I believe there are also other ways to breathe to encourage different kinds of being. I am particularly interesting in developing an understanding in how different breathing methods interact with and allow various movements and transformations of emotions or subtle energies. I think intention and presence can be very powerful, and may be synergized or leveraged with breathing techniques. I know for example that it's useful to breathe deeply, and I know that breathing into the pelvic floor can be grounding. I know that there are some methods like breathing in for 6, holding for 6 that increase energy and wellbeing, but I would like to move into the direction of understanding why. If you could point me in the direction of knowledge on these subjects, can add anything yourself, or have questions on the subjects that hopefully others can answer, then please share. Thanks.

Yes, are you excited by where you are? Do you have appreciation for the space you're in? Are you in a charged, yet gentle anticipation of the good things to come? If you have answered yes to these questions, you are doing well to be led by your intuition. If a choice is made out of fear, anxiety, stress, a state of lack, or any state of resistance, then this is the ego. These choices always lead to more of these feelings. To experience the voice of your intuition, relax yourself fully. Take the time to sit. Breathe deeply and fully for 1-2 minutes, then you may propose a question, or simply invoke higher guidance. Release all expectation, and simply receive. There is no effort to be involved here. If what you receive feels clear, and comes with a subtle (or not so subtle) joy, then that is your intuition. Listen to it, write it down, and follow it. Usually it will come in that sitting session, but if it doesn't, continue to relax and go about your day. The answer will come soon enough, usually in an interesting way, and when it does, you will know it. Wherever it takes you is the next step. Do not doubt it. Intuition is birthright, but it is also like a muscle that needs to be exercised. You must work against the conditioning of life that causes us to ignore our intuition 99.9% of the time. Practice builds faith, faith creates more ease in hearing and following intuition. Even if where your intuition leads you doesn't look like you expected, you must continue to follow until you see why. The next step leads to the next step, which leads to the next step. Good things happen, expansion occurs, and stagnation turns into movement. Rephrasing: If it feels good and clear, this is your intuition. If there is resistance and confusion, that is the ego. That's it, it is that simple, there is no need to complicate it any further. The only exception to this rule is when there is a subject or direction of significance which you feel excitement for but there is also some fear that you suspect may be holding you back. In this case, take action regardless of fear (the action doesn't have to be large, it could be something as simple as exploring the subject more, discussing it with someone, or taking relevant physical actions) then re-feel and check your emotional compass. You will then know clearly if it is the right path or not.

Yeah, unfortunately there was a rollback during the update. To be fair, let's look at what Kinesiology is really proposing here: that one can use muscle testing to find out any answer to anything in the universe, ever. Is this not divination? I think you said in the post before it was wiped that it's very contested within the scientific community. I haven't looked for myself but I'd say that's likely inarguable. Let's just propose for a moment, that what Doc Hawkins is proposing was true - do you think that the community would be able to accept it? That they could even see such a thing? He later amended that the practice only works for those who believe in God. Strange, to say the least, but again, not the kind of stuff that could ever make honest rounds in circles of the empirically minded, even if it was true. I would not say it is the case that the method works only for him... perhaps it did not work for you. There are many people who attest to kinesiology, and various similar practices, but naturally, who has confirmed such things in scientific establishments? I personally think the central mechanism works no different to tarot or iching. Frederick Dodson, author of Levels of Energy, said in his book that he personally suspects that David Hawkins didn't even use kinesiology for his own personal practice and when writing his books, as may have been implied - but rather used an even closer mechanism, by determining truth via internal energetic system and registering truth against the solar plexus chakra (if memory serves correct) and feeling whether it is blocked, or open, to determine truth. As for the stuff with his lawyers, well, lawyers and publishers don't always necessarily represent the closest interest and intentions of the author, but who knows.

I don't really know enough about the organization to contest that. Yeah, maybe. One thing is undeniable: his goal is to get you to practice TM.

You say you have first hand experience; how long have you practiced meditation? Elaborate pls

Sometimes incorrectly teaching a practice can do more harm than good. Something as simple as a pranayama practice, taught with fanaticism and without care, can create major disturbances in health and well-being. There are reasons many practices, teachings and cults chose to remain secretive and stick to lineage and initiation.

Just put your credit card details here on the dotted line and I'll tell you.