kag101

Well, the thing is, have you tried the traditional methods enough? I used to think that medication wouldn't work, because I had prior experience with it. But in reality, I had only taken one medication, and then I jumped into the conclusion that none of them would work. And another point to keep in mind is: were the professionals good? For example, I've had about 10 therapists in my life, and only one of them was actually good. The rest was terrible--did more harm than good.

@Raptorsin7 I'm a little skeptical about psychoanalysts. It's not a scientific thing. You don't need to graduate in psychology to be one. But anyway, how do you like it so far? Do you look forward to the session? Or is it sort of a grim duty? Do you feel you can trust him? Does he say interesting things? As with taking or not medication, he is not the one to decide on that. You didn't really describe how you feel on a consistent basis, so it's not possible to guess whether you have depression or not. Besides anger, what else do you feel on a consistent basis? Lack of vitality, pleasure, and will power? All the best! I hope you feel better soon

Congrats on the awakening! ? I wouldn't use the word "lazy" though. Be more compassionate towards yourself. You won't get back to life by beating yourself up this way and being neurotic. I also spent many years on this spiritual-bypassing dead-end. I was trying to self-heal my untreated depression and psychological problems. Needless to say, it made matters worse. I have started psychotherapy (and psychiatric treatment) about a year ago, and it has been definitely the number 1 endeavor in my self-development journey. I used to be in a way arrogant enough to think that I was above all of this, that "traditional treatment" wouldn't work on me, and that my problem was actually existential. Nothing could be further from the truth. In my experience: psychedelics, meditation, self-help, journaling, etc are all peanuts in terms of results as compared to the combo psychotherapy + medication. Best of luck ?

Sure, that's why psychotherapy is also important. I do both, but I think that in my case the medication is more important. There are a lot of "personality and emotional issues" that simply went away after the med started working.

Stop reading stupid theories about depression on the internet, and go see a psychiatrist. I was on this dead-end of theorizing and theorizing for more than 10-fucking-years. I would watch many many videos about this topic. I'd follow the advice of a lot of pseudo-experts... I would read thousands of people who had bad experiences with psychiatrists... Etc.... I took radical action after hitting rock bottom. It took a while, but then I found a great doctor and I got into a medication that fits me really well, I'm like a different person. I mean, now I am my natural self once again. Social anxiety vanished. The desire to sleep forever doesn't exist anymore. It was a chemical imbalance in my brain. That's it... I'm living life once again -- not merely surviving. What would you do if you had cancer? I hope the answer would be to go see a doctor (and most likely do chemotherapy). But... if you think the "Big Pharma" is evil and you still want to go down this path of theorizing and do "research" on the internet, be my guest... (Spoiler alert: as with any illness, the longer you take to treat it, the worse it gets.)

Can you prove that?

This approach doesn’t sound healthy at all. Geez...

Hi I've started going to the physiotherapist. It's really worth it. It takes time, but I'm already seeing some minor results. I want to rewatch the episode of patience (it's one of my personal favorites). I think it fits into this aspect of my life. I've been noticing some bad posture habits I have. And it's not like I'm forcing myself to correct them, I am seeing that they simply aren't good for me. It's a gradual process. My grandma has died about two weeks ago. It feels really weird. She's the first person that I really had a strong emotional bond who passed away. This made me reflect on my life, and how I overstress about some minor stupid problems. I had a really good sex on Monday. It was the first time that I actually enjoyed the whole thing. It felt really organic. I'm really grateful that that happened My piano skills are improving. I want to practice the following song by Avicci. In a month from now (9-8), it will be his birthday. And I want to post it on my instagram me playing the following version. It's not easy, nor super-hard. It'll be a challenge, but I think I can make it.

Limit as much as you can the amount of time you spend with them.

I understand. Mental illness is a very serious and complex thing. Some people read some stuff on the internet, and they feel like they're competent to self-diagnose themselves. There's also the romantization of things like depression or bipolar, as if it was a "cool" thing to have. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I also don't like how some people make their condition part of their identity. It's like, "Hi, I'm Joe, and I have depression." I don't have any problem talking about my struggles with mental health, but not all of the time. A person who does that becomes very boring to be around with.

I think that this technique of yours lacks self-compassion. Not all things in life are conquered through brute force. The moment you slice one head of the hydra, other two pop up. Watch Leo's video on self-love:

Can you prove that? Or is that something one can only experience through first-hand experience?

Sleep deprivation is a very serious thing! It can trigger mental illness, for example. If this persists, you should go to a doctor.

Sweet, man. I hope you have a good time here

I used to go to an ayahuasca center here in a rural area of Brazil, and they practiced shamanism there. I didn't like it, tbh. They were overfixated on "obsessive spirits". I was told there once that the master had a vision of me and that I had "10 obsessive spirits within me, and one of them looked angrily at the shaman." That really gave me a paranoia trip TBH. The master there would drink MASSIVE amounts of ayahuasca and would smoke lots of DMT, and she said she was "transmuting the bad spirits from the energy field", but honestly that woman was just... unhealthy IMO. She would twitch here body way too much, she was overly loud and obnoxious at time (she'd say she was incorporating an entity that was blunt), and she was always feeling sick due to the massive amounts of psychedelics in her system. I prefer something more subtle. The real indigenous people here are really amazing. There are some songs that make you feel like there are indeed demons coming out of you (at least while you're high on ayahuasca, lol). They're not my thing... but they're really good. There are other very soft songs, which are my favorites. Some of them sound like lullabies. Soft, yet REALLY powerful. It's great for emotional release. Here's an example: So basically, shamanism is great as long as it is the authentic shamanism. There are a lot of rip-offs nowadays...

So you're not a preacher kinda guy, are you? I have fallen in this trap. I would only talk about deep existential stuff with people, family, friends, etc. But honestly, that becomes very annoying for the other person. Talking about enlightenment, no self, or that "life is just a game/dream" is something I rarely talk about nowadays. For example, if I were to say to everybody around me: "HEY LIFE IS A DREAM. IT'S JUST A GAME." all the time is like if you were playing a board game and you were telling all the time "HEY GUYS THIS IS JUST A GAME. DONT YOU REALIZE THAT???" Haha... Im not saying that you do that. Anyways... Have you ever considered majoring in psychology, or something related to that? If you were able to get your friend excited about something, and if you give good advice, then... you can profit from that. $$$ Just don't tell your friends that you're majoring in psychology, because then they'll wanna make you their "therapist". But obviously that does not work, after all, you have emotional bond with them. One thing I didn't really understand: why does the fact that the person talk about, for example, a software that you recommended bother you? You also mentioned that you get irritated when someone succeed after following your advice, right? Would that be envy? Or maybe you have the impostor syndrome (which is that you're good at something, but deep down you think that you're a fraud)? And my advice for you in the case of this friend of yours who seems like you're his coach now lol is that you do not mention this subject. Talk about other stuff. Chances are, he'll stop it as well. It's like not watering a certain seed. This way, it won't grow. If he insists on talking about it, then you can distance yourself from him for a while.

Hey man, First of all, congratulations for your self-awareness. It's a very good sign that you are questioning whether psychedelics might become a crutch. I have personal experience with this topic, so I'll share a little bit about my story. Background I've had depression since I was 9. And it started to become a big problem at 19. I really hit rock bottom. It was awful. Deep existential emptiness, lack of vitality, social phobia, etc. Then, a friend invited me to go to an ayahuasca ceremony. And I had always wanted to try psychedelics, because I believed that I actually had some spiritual problem. And long story short, it did help me in the beginning but then it became a crutch. And then it started to make matters worse. Beginning... butterflies and rainbows... The first few times were magical. It really took me out of depression and made me more loving. It gave color to my life once again. But unfortunately, it didn't last long. And then I soon found myself going to ceremonies every single week in order to "refill" my serotonin levels. As time went by, the therapeutic effect became less and less powerful. And the trips became very repetitive, and sometimes downright scary and unpleasant. I still believed that my problem was existential or something. And I was wearing the hat of being a "spiritual warrior". So I thought that I should fight the alleged obsessive spirits that were inside me that were depleading my vitality and weakening my true self. First psychotic break So... I started to become more and more intense on this journey. After some months, I had my first psychotic megalomaniac break during a ceremony. I cringe when I remember that day. I thought I was embodying God and that I was to awaken everybody. I thought that I looked like a wise yogi, but actually I was very loud, arrogant, childish, and obnoxious. After that, I was expelled from this ayahuasca place, so I tried to find a new one. And again... I was taking it every week, and very large dosages. And I didn't see a problem with that, after all, it is spiritual, isn't it? When it started to makes matters worse... This strategy of mine for taming my depression worked for a while. I was on it throughout 2017. I did get some things accomplished in that year. But... I was way too racy. I didn't have peace of mind. I was always on-the-run. Anyways, eventually, after the trips, my depression was getting even worse. The deep existential emptiness and lack of meaning would intensify. That has happened as well to a friend of mine. I had my second full-blown break, and was expelled from this other place. My opinion People usually say that psychedelics are super safe and non-addictive, but I would be very cautious to make that claim. For example, if I had suicidal tendencies, I might have attempted to kill myself during one of those breaks. And regarding it being addictive, it surely is not like cocaine or something, but I've met many people who are addicted indeed in those substance, most of whom are in denial. People spiritualize as an excuse to use those substances. That said, I have seen some people who have had great results with depression, but... they were on a very serious instituition here in Brazil called UDV. The thing about using psychedelics on one's own is that it becomes a self-medicating kind of thing. My opinion for its usage for mental illness is that it is risky. If you also have a tendency for paranoia (like I do), then they are a big no-no. But in a way, having those experiences helped me fulfill my desire to experience what it's like to trip balls and explore my inner world. I always had that curiosity, so in a way I'm glad that I fulfilled it. What really helped me As with psychotherapy, dude... it's definitely worth it. But you have to find a good therapist. I can't stress this enough. Shitty therapy is worse than no therapy at all. I'd also suggest going to a psychiatrist. I've been going to both for about year, and my life is so much better. I used to worry a lot about how I was wasting my life and how I was getting behind everybody else. And now I feel like I'm catching up and that I am becoming a truly developed human being. I made a topic on my experience with that. You can search it by searching "The power of traditional psychotherapy". Antidepressants have a very bad reputation. My psychiatrist explained why that is so. There is a lot of bias, because usually the people who share their experience are the ones who had very bad experiences. If the treatment is successful, the person usually doesn't talk about it. After all, it is not a pleasant think to talk about it. So there are many many cases of "silent success stories". Because of that, I made sure to write a review online of my experience with the medication I'm on. Here it is: I really hope that you find some way to tame your depression, because it is a bitch. You deserve to feel good on a consistent basis. I'm rooting for you. Feel free to PM me. Good luck, man!

Well, I'm sure someone has already thought of this, but I had this idea while reading the book "Focus". He was talking about how being able to sense ones's own heartbeat is an indicator of self-awareness. I've tried many techniques in the past: SDS, do nothing, mindfulness, vipassana, etc. None seem to work that well. IMO, the simpler the meditation, the better. When the technique starts to get too complicated (like body-scanning), it becomes less effective for me. The simplest technique is focusing on the breath. Problem is, I can't seem to just observe the breath, I end up breathing manually. And this creates anxiety because then my breath is not natural and I can't seem to stop controlling it. So I thought, "What if I used my heartbeat as the object of my meditation?" This way, I wouldn't have to worry about not interfering with the natural process, because I don't control my heart. I've been doing it over the past few days, and I really liked it. Sometimes it's not easy to feel it, but I believe that the more I practice, the easier it is getting. And it's giving me a very calm feeling afterwards. I feel like this is what meditation should feel like. I have no interest in enlightenment meditation, because they end up driving me nuts. I just want to feel calmer and quiet down my monkey mind for a while. I suppose that the breath would be a better object of focus, but I want to take a break from "observing my breath without interfering it". It's simply not working. So this "heartbeat meditation" has been working for me.

Why not read both? It's good to read some good-old self-help once in a while...

Good points

Careful not to get neurotic about this. Will power is not the solution to all life's problems.

Is this for real? ?

@Raptorsin7 Hey man, I hope that the treatment plan works out. It might take some time. You might have to try more than one med before finding the right one. Stay patient; it's fucking worth it! Looking in retrospective, all the years I spend meditating, doing yoga, using psychedelics were -- in essence -- a waste of time and energy. They actually ended up making matters worse. I was trying to overcome social anxiety and clinical depression, both of which are medical conditions, through self-help videos/books and self-reflection. How naive (and arrogant in a way) I was... Deep down, what I really needed was to be heard by a high-quality psychotherapist. Not crappy therapy, but someone who I could feel comfortable sharing what I'm going through. And if the person would give an advice, it would be in a polite way, respecting me as an intelligent human being. And also someone would say or ask me interesting things. The most important thing to know if the therapist is good is if you feel like you were truly heard. If, for instance, you vent about something; then afterwards, the therapist make a snarky passive-aggressive condescending comment, then this is a red flag. Another bad sign would be if he fakes empathy (saying a lot of "I understand", "Oh..." but not in an authentic way). Anyway, all the best, man. I wish you a very good luck. If you want, feel free to PM me whenever you feel like it.

Having weird silence pauses in order for him to "feel what's going on with his body" doesn't look like a decent behavior. As you said, it cuts the flow of the conversation. He sounds way too woo-woo imo. I've tried many different types of therapists, and the type that fit me best was my very last choice -- the traditional. A good traditional therapy is so freaking powerful. It is the most important self-development investment you can make! The amount of wisdom you can get with books, seminars, meditation, psychedelics, etc is like 5-10% of what true psychotherapy can give you. I say that based on my personal experience. Btw, healers or psychics cannot be compared to real psychotherapy. They have their value, but more as an entertainment sort of thing. When you find a good psychotherapist, you'll look forward to going to the session, because you know that you will get out of there feeling more peaceful, centered, and relieved. And you'll have lots of golden nuggets insights. The big results come in the long term, but within 1-4 session, you will start to feel much more aligned and on the right track for actualizing an amazing life!

That’s a ridiculous behavior! If I were you, I would never have another session with this guy again, and I’d start searching for a new therapist asap.