flowboy

You must be joking. He's showing way too much that he cares about her specifically (= neediness), look at the conversation! It's right there. She's annoyed because he was too clingy and ungrounded, and is trying to get him to back off a little. And being quite unsubtle at that, so he must have been uncalibratedly pushing her for awhile. Do you think guys that go to RSD events have to hide it from their girl friends? Noooo. They own that shit. @SageModeAustin made a bold move bringing her, that's not the mistake. The mistake is not fully owning it, and getting insecure about it afterwards. Of course after admitting you're an aspiring manwhore, you can expect a decent shit test, e.a. her getting offended or pretending to like you less now, to see whether you would crumble or whether you fully owned it. You failed that test. Asked her if she thought it was weird. Now she knows you're insecure about it. And decided to have some fun with you. The lyrics she's referring to: She's enjoying playing with you bro. You're so anxious for her approval now, that sending you mixed signals is an amusing game. About the being hard on yourself "because you could have done better": no you couldn't, or you would have. Knowing what you know now, you can do better. But you needed this reference experience first. Without this experience, you'd make that mistake over again, every time! See how everything works out? You have earned knowledge now.

Devil's threesome. Best and only solution. Either they both bang her at the same time, or neither. You'd be surprised how normal it is. Many girls tell me they've done it at some point.

This. Read that book, by David Deida. Your questions will be answered.

Generalizing groups of people and forming opinions and moralizations about them is a waste of your time at best, at worst it's an unhealthy obsession. Get over your addiction to this sort of drama. I know it's in the media a lot. Get away from that shit. It doesn't mean anything to your own life.

Why would you try to start such a pointless debate. What would any answer mean to you? It's more nuanced than that, so really there is no answer. Men vs Women. Emacs vs Vim. Spaces vs tabs. Simple people like to believe in simple truths.

@kag101 @Igor82 COMPLETELY DISAGREE My version: If you're in doubt on whether or not to touch a girl, the fact that you're thinking about it means that your intuition is taking over. Then, ALWAYS DO IT. Because if you ever want these things to feel natural, they need to come naturally, so acting from gut feeling. If you want your intuition to be able to take the wheel, you have to trust it. And even if it's wrong, then you'll at least learn. Whereas you learn nothing from overthinking. Have that winner's mentality. Or growth mentality, if you will. If you follow the "when in doubt, don't do it" strategy, you're only teaching yourself to be scared and in your head. More thinking is not the answer.

Preach. I am not that smooth, but I just use the eyes as a clue. Does she stare back into my eyes without saying anything? Then she's on board. You can just go in for the kiss for example, and she'll be grateful that you did. I just want to make the side point that you can be super clumsy and still have a successful escalation, as long as you are able to quickly recover your emotional state after a mishap. I've had dates with rejected kiss-moves, many awkward leg touches that didn't feel quite right, but each time I was able to laugh about it and just keep talking and interacting, conducting and accepting my emotional reactions, and leading her in that, and in the end still had sex and a beautiful connection. What you feel, they feel.

@Yahya I said life purpose, not "course"

Ask your grandparents Ask your uncles Get a job Sell your art Do a lemonade stand Walk peoples dogs for money Babysit If you're not able to solve the simple problem of how to come up with a few hundred bucks, how in the hell are you going to solve the much harder problems of pursuing life purpose!

The latter is a kind of yoga, named after the former

Don't confuse Kundalini with Kundalini Yoga

I pm'ed you

@Farnaby I recommend looking for Tantra workshops together. Together, because she needs to be on board if you want to change anything. The New Tantra is a great organisation that teaches the sexual aspect of being in the moment and having more mindful, blissful, connected sex, as well as how to find your masculine core and grow towards the 3d stage. They are very much about the Deida teachings. Worth checking out.

@LoveandPurpose Absolutely. Absolutely fucking worth it. It's expensive, but it's the best. Which didn't matter to me at all. I knew beforehand I would only do this once in my life and its effects would be permanent. I really feel healed of a lot of shit that I was carrying, and didn't even know about. I was talking to friends yesterday, and realised again how much I've been transformed. My eyes are open wider, I feel lighter, I feel a much deeper connection with people, I feel love while talking to them (instead of neurotic thoughts), I express myself more freely, like the brakes have come off and there's no judgment, and people respond better to me. Even strangers notice, apparently, because I talked to a guy for a few seconds and then he just popped open and started sharing with me like a friend. It's like magic?? I feel so grateful to Puja and her team?

@LoveandPurpose http://pujalepp.com/project/primal-intensive/

@Farnaby I'm not misunderstanding you at all, you are failing to accept what I'm telling you. This shared responsibility mindset is second stage stuff. I thought like that for a long time. My point is, in the 2nd stage that Deida describes, both partners are each responsible for their contribution to a conversation/whatever, and when one is going a bit overboard, he/she is expected to calm down on her own and come back later when she has cooled off. You know another characteristic of the 2nd stage? Relationships that are getting boring. Hey, that sounds familiar! The answer is right in your face. The beliefs you're fighting me so hard for, about how you think relationships are supposed to work, are exactly what is wrong! You are confusing contribution and responsibility. You can always take full responsibility for what happens in a situation, regardless of "who did what". Anyways, I'm getting fed up with your stubbornness. Hope my advice did something and wasn't a complete waste of my time. I really hope so, cause I'm trying to help. But letting go of beliefs is not easy. One needs to suffer, in order to have the emotional leverage to do it. It's possible that, like me, you need 3 or 4 more serious breakups before you'll take this stuff seriously. Belief systems are precious.

I already answered that. Responsibility is a masculine thing. If you put it on her, you force her to be in her masculine and you lose polarity, the spark. You're trying to blame your girlfriend for making you upset. Men don't do that. That's what little boys do. And she will come to resent you for that eventually. Listen to the audiobook. There are great workshops and courses to learn to work with these principles in practice, if you're interested.

Welcome to the experience of being attracted to someone. What is strange to me is not that you crumbled, but that you say it is super uncommon for you to be attracted to people. I would say I have this a couple times a month at least. Do you have big walls around you? Are you uncomfortable with being open and vulnerable? Because you're describing this like it's a bad thing that you want to get rid of asap, while actually it seems to me like you've been dead in a way and you're just now coming alive.

A minute of deep and fast-paced breathing beforehand will also help. You can use your arm movements to push more air in and out.

I can't meditate very well lying down or resting my back against a chair. My brain just starts unloading the programs and starting the shutdown sequence. Is your posture too comfortable? I've had it that I sat without a back rest and still fell asleep, but I was having caffeine detox symptoms then. Not normally.

I have to completely agree. I just came back from a week of Primal therapy, and man, my eyes are opened. I never realised the profound connection before of negative messages I subconsciously picked up from parents, and things that happened, and my every day mental state. I thought some people just had the genetics for depression or anxiety. I was wrong. You can heal it, by re-processing your childhood wounds.

Deida says that your body and feelings are telling you things like your girlfriend is telling you things. It's enjoyable to listen to, but what is said in the moment can be different the next. You acting from your unchanging consciousness means hearing what your body and mind is telling you, but not taking it super seriously. And, fix yourself first. If things your girlfriend says are able to trigger you, offend you or push you off balance in a different way, so that you have to leave the room, then you have work to do on yourself. For yourself, because words don't ever have to hurt unless you have an insecurity For her, because if she can push you out of balance by saying things in anger, she can not fully trust your masculine and relax into it. Just imagine a strong father figure in your life, and think about how nice it is that nothing ugly you can say to him will make them stomp out of the room crying. He would just laugh and hug you, maybe. THAT's what makes you trust his guidance and feel safe expressing yourself. That's how you want to be to her.

Responsibility is a masculine thing. That's why it seems unbalanced to you. So unless you want to play the feminine part, or have a relationship that feels like two buddies bored on the couch, because you're both in your masculine, you have to take the responsibility. And start appreciating her feminine gifts, the color she brings to your life, the fun things she thinks for you to do, the way she dresses sexy, the way she decorates, how deeply she enjoys life, and also the challenges of her dramas. Your job is not to "not let things escalate", which is a 2nd stage thing, but to enjoy her drama, her elated moods, her everything, her constant change, and carry her through that. So that means be present and not get triggered. Also don't judge her outbursts but enjoy them, and in the end love her through it and make her laugh. Press your belly against hers, make eye contact, dance with her, tickle her, anything that says: "Hey, I'm here and I love you and your bad moods too, and I will always be here." Give it a second read. I also had to read it multiple times to really understand. I'm on my fourth time now.

If you keep arguing with advice you get, you are not letting people help you. The fact that you need advice necessarily means that some of you beliefs are going to be incorrect. Or you wouldn't need advice. So be open to that.

@LoveandPurpose Thank you! Hard to say in hindsight, but these factors contributed: My men's group gave me the feedback that I'm scattered, doing everything at once and achieving nothing That's been cooking in my mind, together with the weekly scheduling and measuring % achieved I had a fantastic shroom trip where I experienced myself as everything and there was nothing to be done, as I was already perfect I removed some weeds from my mind: The motivation I found for being so perfectionistic, while writing here: The negative unspoken messages and toxic patterns that my parents gave to me, during Primal. Primal is REAL fucking intense and great for self esteem. I walked out as a new man. Also, I've been getting laid a lot. That also tells your reptile brain that you're fine the way you are