flowboy

Extremely Focused Work Day 6 Glorious hours of relentless refactoring... My mind is a multilayered map of usage variations, language constraints and edge cases. Really quite enjoyable. Feeling extremely motivated, decisive and mentally sharp. Even when a friend called me right after work, when I'm usually beat and brainfoggy and grumpy, I was still sharp and decisive. No fog at all. What Was Different Little Food: Eating an ungodly amount at christmas dinner enabled me to survive on very little today: I had a bit of salad for breakfast (a bit, not my usual crapton) and two oranges during the day. I did feel hungry, but I also felt amazingly focused and motivated. Took 2 St. Johns' Wort tablets instead of 1. It was a sunny day. Yesterday there was a grey sadness where the sky usually is. Today, some sun came through. I suspect it makes a big difference. I did drink coffee. Quite a lot, actually. I had some left and wanted to finish that first. I have learnt that coffee doesn't fix brain fog, but it does help speed up the mental processes involved in programming. I had multiple glasses of water. Since that is clearly important. I was doing something I like. I love refactoring. I'm good at it. The best, really. Screw those methodical people, I do this shit by intuition and take into account meaning and intention as well. Too many variables have changed on too few data points to say anything for sure. But here's what I'm going with. Intake for optimal mental function: Have very little food to digest. Be hungry Some caffeine Water Sugar, preferably natural This is in line with what I'm finding time and again: I do my best work on days where I eat very little except for some fruit, and drink tea or water. I would be curious to find out whether this is different when I'm digesting fish or meat instead of salad. I have a hunch that fresh vegetables and beans are orders of magnitude harder to digest than a big fatty slice of smoked salmon. But I will have to experiment. For now, it is good to know that I will probably do very good work on One Meal A Day, but working up to that, I can function very well on mostly fruit and water until 4pm.

The thing about a tightly packed week schedule is that even though it's attainable, when one thing goes wrong, a whole string of subsequent things come crashing down with it. Can't sleep one night? Here's several days where you have to do a whole bunch of stuff while tired and not feeling up to it. Neglected to do the dishes one time? Live in a mess for several days, until there is a time to catch up. I woke up at 4:30am, without an alarm. But, I'm still dead tired. My nerves are full of stress. I ran a small lap. Did one set of pull-ups. Meditated 5 minutes. Now I'm taking a nap.

Back on coffee and hating it Two weeks ago I had that moment where I felt desperate for alertness, and consumed coffee. Every subsequent day since, I have drunk it. Which shows how addictive it is. And I'm not better off - moments of feeling awake and alert are now very rare. I almost never feel like I've slept enough and I'm ready. I always need more coffee and it doesnt help, all it does is make it harder to fall asleep. I'm watching my sleep times more now so that I go to bed on time. However yesterday I stayed with a friend. Went to sleep at half past 8, which is nicely on time. However I felt a sudden jolt of energy and could not sleep until 2. After which I got up at 5. That day I performed poorly at work. I was so angry at the unfairness of it (I did everything right! Poor me ensoforth) that I just drank an unholy amount of coffee, and when that didnt wake me up, I left work because I felt it unfair to charge my employer for just blankly staring at my screen. My initial plan was to drink a strong beer so I could fall asleep through the caffeine. But luckily, it was not necessary. I must have slept from 5 pm till 430 am, almost 12 hours. I felt ready and awake for a few moments this morning. Now my feeling is back to mentally drained. Drinking many cups of coffee, which doesnt help anymore. No ability to think abstractly. Communicating is a chore. What am I doing wrong? One recent change I can think of, other than caffeine abuse, is listening to audiobooks while doing the dishes. And while going to work. And reading in any spare moment. Perhaps my brain is tired because it's not having as many idle moments as it used to? Maybe my model of efficient use of time is too simplistic. I assumed I could use any idle moment for learning. But maybe that can get too exhausting for the mind. I'm reading that Bill Gates does the dishes every night, as a way to empty his mind. So without audiobooks. Hmm. I have too little data to really draw a conclusion. What's for sure is that the coffee is going away again - I always abuse it and it ends in desperate mental exhaustion every time. EDIT: I WAS DEHYDRATED I just drank 4 tall glasses of water and feel a whole lot better. Not sleepy anymore, a lot less foggy and a lot less cranky. I think I made a critical error by replacing water with coffee. Which caused me to be dehydrated, which I interpreted as sleepiness and brain fog, and tried to remedy with more caffeine. That made me forget to drink anything else. A serious bug in the system indeed. Why didnt I feel thirsty? No idea. It also baffles me that I didnt crave sugar when my diet was lacking it. But hey I learnt something. That settles it. Coffee is gone after today. I will allow myself to drink 1 cup of tea, preferably green, between 11 and 12, as an optional boost. Outside that window, just water. Brain fog I will combat with water and eating fruit. I've noticed that refined sugar helps, but that's evil and causes me to feel yucky inside.

12/12 What went well: Driving went well, although I missed some important stuff, there is clear progress Redid my effort estimates on the projects for next year, plotted projects again over the months, finally have a 2020 plan that I believe in Slow but steady progress on the finances-in-order project. Canceled some unnecessary expenses (double Audible subscription, scammy dental insurance, Netflix, stock trading account that suddenly became expensive). Got some refunds Really excited about new book I picked on Audible: "The Science of Getting Rich" by Wallace D. Wattles. It even made me spontaneously cry and thank God in the first chapter. Its message is quite spiritual, which I did not expect. Thanks to my noise cancelling headphones, I can now listen to audiobooks while doing the dishes as loudly as I need. What a joy. Was really tired but did good workout nevertheless. What went poorly: Got up at 5:40, apparently my INSANELY loud mechanical alarm had been ringing for 40 minutes. Sleeping through that is a sign that I am seriously lacking in sleep quality and/or quantity. I do remember not being able to fall asleep yesterday. How will I prevent that from now on: Starting December 27th, I am installing curtains and covering every LED in the house with black tape. Sleep quality must improve.

@meadow Thank you for this feedback and helpful advice - I appreciate it. I've just read up on what "tracking macros" is, and decided it would be good to try it. I suspect I need to eat lots more protein for my fitness goals, for example. And it's a small step from the already pretty tight rules I have for myself about eating clean. Earlier this year I kept a food log for a while, and it had a very positive effect on my eating habits. However, currently I'm juggling too many lifestyle changes that haven't quite settled yet. Therefore, I put 'tracking macros' on the list of lifestyle changes to implement next (after Affirmations and before Intermittent Fasting). I am following your other advice immediately however: every day at work, I will bring a snack made of banana and tahini, and maybe some other fruit. Totally delicious and if it fixes brain fog, that will confirm our hypothesis. Awesome!

06/12 What went well: Did a 4km run at 5am Finished the drawing I made of the savings plan and money streams I plan to implement Did a lot to get my finances in order! End of project is near. I'll be so glad when everything is automated. Did all my lifts, which made me feel calm, controlled and awesome What went poorly: Stopped lifting at 4pm instead of 3:45, which made me late for my afternoon work session How will I prevent that from now on: Stop working out on time, at least 15 minutes before I have to be home, 20 if I have to shower. Yes, even when I'm "almost done"

Coffee I'm in my 3d week of quitting coffee, but today I'm making an exception. Reason being that I'm useless to my employer and I feel guilty over it. Programming is not doable when your short-term memory is not working. I need to keep a huge stack of contextual information in mind. When I can, I'm awesome at it. When not, on a day like today, I am just staring at the screen, not understanding what I'm reading or what the next step is. I keep coming up with a plan, taking one step and then forgetting the plan. Also physically I am more clumsy and frustrated. I walk into things and forget to bring stuff, so Im walking back to the kitchen 5 times. And in contact with other people, it feels like I'm just not fully there. I avoid talking to people, to hide the fact that I'm so absent. The me behind the face is not home, and in his place is someone housesitting who tries to play my role, but doesnt have the keys to the right desk drawers of information, and cant work the equipment right. I'm pretending to be me. Whats going on with my nervous system?! I doubt coffee will fix this, but I'll take any boost I can get. So overall, feeling frustrated, guilty and mentally absent. I also feel like it's not fair - I've been so good!! I don't drink alcohol, I don't overuse caffeine, I eat healthy and clean, I get up at 5, I go running every day and lift 4 times a week... What else do I need to do One thing that could be the culprit is quitting sugar. I've stopped adding honey to things and that was my only source of it. Also eat mostly vegetables and oats, not as much fruit this week. I'll look into whether this could be sugar detox symptoms. Also I've been here before, that time that I wrote "I deserve a working brain". Well I dont feel entitled to anything anymore and I am very grateful that Im safe, physically fit and in a rich country, that was the same feeling as now. I must look for a pattern - to be continued.

29/11 What went well: Did not compromise on my plan to work 8 hours a day: decided I could meet a date only after 18:50 Did not drink coffee, not even on a work day where I was highly underslept Even though going to bed late, still got up at 5 am! What went poorly: I invited someone over for dinner, mentioning that they could eat with me at 7 and I could still go to bed at 9, and not lose sleep. So far so good. But apparently I didn't have an accurate idea of what you can do in a 2 hour date. I decided to cook with her, eat with her and watch an entire movie (Beauty and the beast). This took 5 hours, unsurprisingly, and after that some additional time for sex, so I slept no sooner than 12. Which means I'm writing this lacking 3 hours of sleep. Came with the girl. I felt very sensitive and knew i had to be careful and unambitious, but wasn't. Lost some semen yesterday and some more this morning. Decided to not dwell on this for too long, and simply restart the habit immediately. How will I prevent that from now on: During sex, when I feel like I'm too sensitive to carry on without cumming, I will pause and do some stretching. The girl can help me. It will be fun. When inviting someone over for dinner on a work day, just have dinner with them. 2 hours is barely enough time for cooking and eating, if you start immediately and already bought groceries. A movie is out of the question. If I want to take my time for dinner, movie and sex, I need at least 6 hours, which means the companion will have to arrive preferably at 14:00, 15:00 at most. Don't have them stay over if I'm working early the next day. I will just feel caught between my drive to get work done and my inclination to be a good host.

Woke up with a hard-on for the first time in weeks. I take that as a sign that I slept enough, for the first time in weeks

Been making good strides in my habits recently. I've quit coffee, am in the process of quitting alcohol. I get up at 5 am, and still sometimes fail but then it's 6 am, and I can get on with my schedule pretty quickly still. I've added meditation back in without even planning to. I just feel like it. I exercise every day - I have for the past 10 days and I don't wanna stop. I don't cum, don't have time to fap, don't ever think about porn anymore. I schedule my day the evening before and I feel no resistance. Suddenly I begin to organically grow a morning routine. So weird. I've been failing to implement routines for a decade. Now it's just coming along effortlessly. 5am Wake up, put on gym clothes and start running in the dark. Then meditate, shave, brush. Then I prepare big boxes of salad, which I consume during my 10 hour work day. If there is some time left, I get to do some business goal-related task, before I leave for work. Where routine used to frighten me and make me feel constrained and trapped and want to rebel, now I love it. I need it. What's the difference? I have a big goal I'm working towards. Suddenly I'm motivated to keep my house neat and be a smooth running machine. I know that if I stay up late, that will fuck me up the next day, and the one after. And I actually care about that, now. A weekend is not just a weekend to me, a chance to relax and do random stuff. It's a chance to have several uninterrupted work days, getting 8 hours of productivity in as well as a good workout. Now all I need is a girl who understands me being driven, and will come over on sunday, get up with me at 5am and leave me alone for the rest of the week.

22/11 What went well: Got up at 5. Followed my schedule. Almost done creating year plan for 2020 Went to the gym and stopped on time, so I had enough time to shower and get back before driving lesson Did not drink coffee, even though I felt like I really needed it Took microdose but did not take too much, so it worked well and didn't interfere with my plans What went poorly: Because I watched Mad Men in bed until 12, I didn't have enough sleep and had to take 2 power naps during the day. The first one was refreshing but didn't feel like enough. The second one went to deep and I was groggy and inefficient for quite some time after. After power nap had to go to the gym, which I had scheduled enough time for. But it took me 10 minutes to wake up from my alarm, after that 15 minutes to dither around, sleepily getting my workout clothes. And then I forgot my shoes, so I had to go back which cost me another half hour, because at home I wasted some time deciding whether to go back. How will I prevent that from now on: I will from now on start preparing for bed at 5 past 8, so I can start sleeping at 9 and be well rested at 5 am.

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Every time I manage to get up at 5, I play the song 'New York' by Sinatra, and sing along like an idiot. It's a good anchor.

@Espaim Sorry to hear that you haven't come to a complete solution yet. At the risk of sounding like a meathead: are you doing heavy squats and deadlifts? That, combined with the practice of non-ejaculation, is definitely working for me in exploding feelings of masculine sexuality. Here's another thought: many people are actually trying to get rid of sexual desires and thoughts. Especially when they don't need them (no partner in the room, trying to work on a project) Which begs the question: are you sure it's not situational? What if you're not getting sexual urges until you really need them. In other words: if a very attractive person, male or female, whichever you prefer, was naked in bed with you, pressing her/his body against yours, are you sure nothing would happen? Might be worth testing out.

@Ampresus Unscripted is the best book I've read on how to get rich. It actually got me to take action. Letting Go is also on my list to read, probably a good choice. I'm a dick but Im saying these things to wake you up, not just put you down. I wish you luck on your journey. Much love brother

@SelfHelpGuy If it were executed really well and my friends were on it, but there was less complaining, and still all the events I want updates on are announced there, I'd switch over from Facebook in a heartbeat. Also cause my ego would love to feel like it's in some sort of elite, above the 'regular facebook folk'?

@Ampresus Glad to finally have your attention. I'm here to tell you: you can make yourself rich by figuring out a way to make people happy. Make millions of lives better, pocket millions of dollars. But no one can give you the exact business model, because all the known ones are already in use. So you'll need to be creative. You have to decide for yourself if it is worth it. No one can care more about your life than you. At least defer your choice until you've read UNSCRIPTED by MJ DeMarco. That's easy enough, right?

Would you like me to be angry? Because that would mean that I care whether you go into crime or not? How's your relationship with your parents? Are they proud of you? I think you can do better than this, and you know it. Shifting the blame of your choices onto strangers on a forum is not going to fly. But ultimately you have to face the fact that the only one who can really care about the way you live your life - is YOU. Not your parents. Not strangers on a forum. It's part of growing up.

You havent seen my anger yet. Look around you at the rich life you were given. The food you eat. The education you take for granted. The lack of war. And despite having everything you need, you're willing to contribute nothing. Anger requires giving a fuck. This is just me causally pointing out the fact that your attitude is that of a worthless parasite on society. What you do with that information, is up to you Fuck up your life any way you please. The world needs ditch diggers too

@Ampresus Don't let us stop you from being a criminal. Looks to me like you lack moral compass and are just looking for an excuse. You propose that others here now have to put golden money making ideas in your hands, for free, just so you have a reason to not be engaging in whatever shady crap you're tempted by? If you're not financially desperate, as you say, and are still greedy and lazy enough to become a criminal instead of providing real value to the world, congratulations, you have reached a profound level of sucking as a person. Do whatever you want. The world needs people like you. Or, more specifically, the business model of private prisons needs people like you.

What is the purpose of this topic, except to complain incoherently in broken english? You read something in the news that disturbed you, and this is your knee-jerk reaction you posted? Which has what to do with life purpose or entrepreneurship, exactly?

Except that no investment strategy ever returned 10% consistently for 15 years. Except the one by Madoff. 5% is more realistic, IF there is no crash in those 15 years. (so it's still a big gamble. Don't call it 'safe') 400$ a month is an insanely high contribution, I'm not saying you can't do it, but most people don't have the discipline to. But let's go with it. So after 15 years of having the discipline of stashing away and never touching 400$ a month (again, unless you make ten times that, do you have the willpower to do that without exception, even when the fridge breaks in the same month as your car?) You will have about 109.000 after 15 years. Oh, but wait: Inflation enters the party. The average rate of inflation has been 3.22% for the past century. (source) That means, the value of money is multiplied by (1 - .0322 = .9678) each year. For 15 years later, the value multiplier is (0.9678) ^ 15 = 0.612 So your 109.000 will have the same buying power as (109.000 * .612 = 66,713) does now. And that's after 15 years of saving and investing 400 a month, which is 4800 a year, WHICH IS 4800 * 15 years = 72,000 total taken out of your paycheck. You'll have lived frugally for 15 years, denying your kids toys and singing lessons, only to lose 72,000 - 66,713 = 5287 dollars. And that's a BEST case scenario - assuming there is no market crash, and you never lose your job or have any other kind of financial emergency (medical bills?) There is no safe strategy for wealth (How would that even make sense?) I once believed in these fairytales too. Until I read The Millionaire Fastlane and Unscripted. Highly recommend it. This is the real strategy. Want wealth? Gotta provide massive value.

@Raptorsin7 Good work! That's a lot of practice you're getting in. For procrastination, I can recommend focusing some months on really developing your own method of scheduling that works for you. Measure results every day. Take pride in getting things done. Build an ego around result-orientedness. It's worked for me. ? Edit: also I'd take a look at what you're procrastinating. Is it important to you, or just busywork that you're attached to in some way?

You will never become financially independent from living frugally and saving and investing. It's simply a myth. How many people do you know who did that successfully, and were independent before they were old? Right And how many people have you heard of that are financially independent now, before their 70th birthday, because they started a business? Indeed, they're everywhere. The real risky route, is keeping a job and hoping the market will make you rich. It won't. It's a scam, purported to earn stock commissions. Read TMF. Read Unscripted. Thank me later