VioletFlame

@kieranperez Hey dude, this is beautiful. I can resonate so deeply and I'll explain why. On Thanksgiving I had one of the most in depth conversations I think I ever had with my mother, I'll never forget it really. It was very powerful, very emotional, we went into some really deep topics involving my childhood and hers and just emotionally releasing everything and expressing how grateful we are for even the painful experiences we've shared together. Independently, and as mother and daughter. This extended discussion we had to me actually conveyed the true essence of what Thanksgiving is supposed to mean for once, which overjoyed me. One thing I shared with her (and broke down in tears of joy doing) was one of the most effective meditative practices I've ever done in which had an immense impact on my life. This was an Inner Child meditation. Like many people, I had a very rough and abusive upbringing, it damaged me for a very long time. Once I discovered spirituality in my mid-late teens and meditation, the more I kept with it, the more it healed/saved me and the more I could flip the bird to all the doctors who tried to put me on medication for depression & PTSD which only made me feel like a zombie. I had like a different personality everyday, which wasn't good because it's confusing and difficult enough being a teenager and discovering your ID, who you are, what your values are, etc so to be on anti-depressants that alter your hormones/emotions even more was just scary and unhealthy. So during this meditation (which was basically me making the conscious therapeutic decision to confront my traumatic childhood) to make a long story short, I ended up meeting my Inner Child, (I suddenly seen myself wearing this cute little red dress and Dorothy red slippers I used to adore. This was a blocked memory that I unlocked during this practice. I had my hands covering my eyes against a wall) so I was guided to confront her, I uncovered her hands from her eyes and looked deep into them, saying loving compassionate things to her, eventually leading up to hugging her. It finally took a lot of strength and courage for me to do this. I had to not fear it or reject it, but literally embrace it. It was sooo vivid and lucid and beautiful, I can barely put it into words. It felt like I went back in time and met myself and healed myself from the very beginning. It felt like a fresh start ever since then. Resurrection. It was so powerful, tears were streaming down my face, my whole body was tingling with chills and in my heartspace. I was utterly lost in this trance, this beautiful wave of direct healing. I can't stress enough how much Inner Child hypnosis' helped me through dealing with my trauma. It helped me find the gratitude and beauty even in the dark childhood that I inevitably had to face. If only they practiced this more in conventional therapy. However there are things like EMDR therapy in which I think is super cool. They use meditative hypnosis techniques similar to the one I did on my own, for helping people overcome their trauma, and unlock many aspects they had blocked out. Often Jungian related. Anywho, you say you feel anger in your chest during this experience which makes you think of your dad. To me this reminded me of unlocking something deep within from your childhood that perhaps could be relating to your father. This physical reaction you're having could be your inner compass persuading you to heal your heartspace (heart chakra) that could have been blocked or harmed by this person, or someone/something else. You say it travels up to your throat. To me this is signaling that perhaps you need to verbalize your emotions, let it all spill out. Have you been bottling things inside for a long time? Do you tend to only think what you feel? This is a time to release, the anger and pain wants to be released. I wouldn't let it linger in your body for too long. Something's telling you to let it out I think, in healthy ways of course. Watch what kind of images come to the surface when you feel these sensations. This crying infant could be something left deep within your childhood that is screaming to be released. The crying infant is You trying to tell you something. ❤️ That's just my take. ❤️

One of my all time favorite quotes where simply hearing it alone saved me in a lot of ways. ❤️ "There is no coming to consciousness without pain" --Carl Jung Repeat that for a few times until you can feel it. ❤️ Sending love to you. ❤️

After all, everyone (and almost everything) has a Shadow, but you cannot see your shadow without any source of light. Once you can come to grips with the fact that he lies within you, you will confront and embrace him with no fear or denial, and furthermore find God within him too.

@kieranperez This is probably my favorite song by them. ❤️ Most of their artwork has been done by Alex Grey. ❤️

@kieranperez Dude their lyrics are Jungian oriented! Also about Enlightenment. Forty Six & Two (chromosome analogy about human evolution) is about confronting and awakening the Shadow. They speak about the Shadow archetype in many of their songs. This one below refers to the Anima (as Carl Jung coined to be the feminine aspects of a man's psyche) which I believe he was referring to Mother Nature clearing away/removing (hence the word enema) the negative bullshit within an area.

This might be useful for some of you. There is Pandeism as well which is like a synthesis of Pantheism and Deism. Scientific Pantheism is rather lame to me but Pantheists also support scientific inquiry because after all, what scientific theory hasn't been "approved" without deep thought/insight, imagination and contemplation? "Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind." -Einstein

Absolutely hell yeah! This is one of my favorite Ted Talks. ❤️ Are you a Tool fan?

Lol! Naked yoga is one of my favorites! Aka Skyclad. It's been done for years and can be quite a powerfully healing, sacred and intimate practice and it only enhances the mind/body/soul connection even more I think. Especially when you dim the room with candles and create a soft, tranquil atmosphere...super spiritual.

Hey guys so I'm just a bit curious about the stages & labels given involved in the Spiral Dynamics model and how it may sub-consciously affect some people and I'm curious to see if anyone else has questioned this. If one discovers they could be on a spiritually advanced level, especially when it is concluded through something highly professional, couldn't this fondle or flirt with their ego or ideas of Self, ID, etc? Is it possible they could become too attached to the idea that they are something special or superior than others from simply claiming that label and fall into a trap? Or perhaps if ego-life does arise from this analysis, perhaps the analysis was simply incorrect? Being that stage Yellow & Turquoise is revolved around working on ego-death and having that level of self-awareness to do so? That Yellow would in turn be eliminated due to ego-inflation? Because if one was Yellow, there would be no ego-inflation to face & toss in the grave, yeah? I do understand that one cannot have one particular concrete stage and that it can get really complex. I'm just interested because I am aware that the ego unfortunately lies in the domain and community of psychology and spirituality as well, just as it does anywhere else. I will most certainly be investing in more books on this topic as well, I am inspired to know it like the back of my hand haha. Also going to watch Leo's new video now!

@Elysian That tattoo sounds wicked cool!! and I'm so glad I was able to describe it in a way that resonated. ❤️

@Jack River Very poetically said! That's understandable. Thank you. I always imagined the ego to look like a black orb of dark energy that spins and spills or tangles like yarn.

I've pondered this for so long! I love this. ❤️ One thing that frequently happens to me is I have these recurring Deja Vu-type dreams where I will dream of something I dreamt about years ago. These random images and flashes of scenes return to my consciousness and hit me and I wake up thinking "Whaaat where did this come from? I had this dream like 5 years ago! What's it saying to me?" and I'll just keep pondering what it was trying to tell me or trying to get me to notice for the rest of the day lol. Even like dreams I never thought I'd even remember reappear. There's so many complex ones that I have but one simple example of a recurring dream I've had was where I am just walking through a long tunnel/alley/corridor looking over my shoulder a few times. and that's all it is. Mind you the first time I had this dream was probably like 8 years ago and I still have the same one occur every now and then. Sometimes I wonder if they are visions or premonitions. When I was 6 years old I had one of the most lucid dreams of my life where I woke up crying and with chills. I had some sort of physical/mental futuristic reaction to a relative's passing. I dreamt the exact location where she passed and it was a day before it actually happened.

♥️ ♥️ ♥️

Hey there, I'm sorry I only just noticed this now! Thank you. Well firstly, there's so many different types & sub-categories of Pantheism, I believe around ten or twelve. But generally it is the belief that there is nothing separate between nature and God. That the universe, and consciousness is God. Your eyes are God. Your inner cosmos. The soul and the body are One. That everything in reality is Divine and God lives within existence itself and that being a part of the universe and a part of nature, is part of God. Feeling awe and reverence in nature and the Oneness of All and everything that is. It is the belief in the Divine unity of the world as interconnectedness, as ultimately of one substance and it's about recognizing that nothing is "supernatural" if something occurs, then it's natural. Pan=All and Theist=God. God is everything and everyone. Not to be confused with a traditional theist God however since Pantheists deny the existence of an anthropomorphic or "personal God" but believe in an immanent one who is present in all things. God is within. God is without. There's no separation between the creator & the creation for God didn't create the sky or define gravity because he is the sky and gravity. He's not a manifested supreme physical being whom you can socialize with. Monistic Pantheists believe in one source energy, in one substance. On the other hand, there are also Dualist Pantheists who needless to say, look at things with less of a non-dual perspective so like I said, there's all kinds to look into, I don't fit under the Dualist kind. You can be Pantheist in many different things as well like there are plenty of Pantheists in Hinduism or Taoism, etc. Pantheists are also supportive of diverse notions in religion because we believe that all things are God so therefore all approaches to God can lead to an understanding of God and each individual should pursue what they wish as long as it is authentic to them. Not to say that we agree with all approaches at all or think they are correct or valid, but that we value diverse religious perspective. Dogma is not advocated. We also simply value the mystery in not being able to say "We know for a fact." But it's more so "We Feel." Once I discovered this word a while back, I was ecstatic because it brought me to the actual term and definition of what I revered and believed in all along since I was a small girl. Apparently, I would talk to the trees and whisper to the plants and call them God. I just could never find the right word to explain it haha. I know it may seem like I talk a lot (sorry for so many long messages jeez I'm starting to annoy myself! Lol) but yeah most of the time it still has me speechless. "I believe in Spinoza's God who reveals himself in the orderly harmony of what exists, not in a God who concerns himself with fates and actions of human beings." -Albert Einstein

It'd be interesting to see more than just a head & torso of a Leo. Something's telling me he's rather tall?

@Leo Gura I really look forward to seeing you in NY. ♡ I'll most likely be going with a couple of people, perhaps for my birthday. I look forward to the whole experience and meeting others there too. ♡

@Etherial Cat I totally agree with you. It's funny you say this because I just got done telling someone how it took me long enough to actually join the forum. I've been following Leo for a good 3-4 years now and finally decided to be here haha. ♡

Once one can celebrate and revere solitude, so many good things come out of this. Psyche-diving, healing, growing, self-education, introspection, self-actualization & exploration. When you have the mentality of "I've got everything I need right in front of me" you learn you don't "need" anything or anyone to fill any emptiness within. That there's no reason to feel a void or create a co-dependent relationship if you are happy alone. You can learn to laugh with yourself, cry with yourself, take really long walks with yourself is something I am quite fond of, create with yourself, I mean the list goes on and on! Once you can learn not to feel alone with yourself but fulfilled, there is true growth in that. I'm personally a bit of an introvert, like many artists, independence and space is super important to me and with solitude, there's a sense of re-centering, recharging and rejuvenating oneself, of grounding oneself. Of course though you must find a happy balance for yourself. Too much solitude could lead to unhealthy isolation and socialization, direct human connection, sharing memories, is something I deeply value as well. But I've had some of my most beautiful experiences and some of my happiest and richest moments alone! Which therefore trains you to feel happiest anywhere and with anyone. ❤️ "I am no longer alone with myself, and I can only artificially recall the scary and beautiful feeling of solitude. This is the shadow side of the fortune of love." ~Carl Jung

@EvilAngel Sweeet!

@Jamesc Thank you for your feedback!

@zambize Thank you! YES. Self-Love is soo0oo much more than just OK, yes. I was just saying in retrospect, when I was a teenager I didn't realize this. I self-sabotaged a lot. I can say now though that I have been actively practicing Self-Love for about 3 years now and it has changed my life. I abandoned the anti-depressants I was put on as a teenager because I felt violated and it wasn't doing any good for me and I was diagnosed as well and I can say that was one of the best decisions of my life. Because of meditating 30 mins-1 hour/day and making that as important of a daily priority as brushing my teeth, it has done numbers for me. I can't even put into words how much it's saved my life so far, as well as Self-Love and the practice of gratitude. I value gratitude soo fucking much because I see so many people around me taking things for granted and this is over-rated, people don't realize how much abundant love they can allow themselves to feel if they just practice gratitude in ALL. I recognize that what we have in the here and now, "good" experiences or "bad" this is all to be deeply appreciated, all learning experiences. Which is why I mentioned eventually embracing my traumatic childhood and finding the gratitude even in that. For someone with PTSD, and all the battles I had to go through growing up, I am now comfortably surprised to say that even having that mentality has helped me heal and grow immensely and is also rather self-loving. Everything I mentioned about "pushing the ego down" and all, (that feeling of putting yourself in a shell so to speak ) this was all in retrospect. I was saying this is how I dealt with it years ago before I recognized the best ways of handling it. Thank you so much for your feedback.

@Joseph Maynor Yes and I know there was a lot I wrote to be read lol so I understand if you didn't read it in its entirety but one of the things I mentioned was that basically ever since I hit adolescence and discovered the word "ego" I have been super cautious of it for a long time now, with ninja surveillance. Before I realized one must investigate the ego to change anything, I was almost afraid of its capabilities for a long time, which wasn't healthy either. So this is why I am concerned with some alleged Yellow or Turquoise people (who may just think they are spiritually evolved) allowing their ego to crawl through the surface again. When I see people giving quick names for themselves in anything, especially in something so advanced it just makes me question if they really put in that much work or if they just want to be on that level. This is why I am wondering when some people say they are "Yellow" or "Turquoise", what is really going on in their minds? Stage Yellow shall not be the equivalent to earning yellow badges, stars & trophies and like decorations, hanging them at the top of a tree. I wear a golden crown but not for everyone else to see. Do you see my point? When there's an over-activation of chakras, there is an imbalance there too. This is why it's been said to semi-close the chakras after you've opened them so you are not too "vulnerable" to the toxicities in the air that could tackle or swallow your vibrant energy. Like look, I'm not being hasty to put myself under these categories, even if trustworthy spiritual healers may have told me some amazing things in the past, in which they did, I recognize that whether these things are true or not, I must even question them! I don't think most people would do this. If a guru or highly experienced teacher approached you and said you were an "Old Soul" or "Extremely awakened for your age" Would you second guess or question this or would you wear it on your sleeve? Like once I was told certain things, I immediately knew I had to "keep it to myself." You feel me? I'm not the kind of person who will devalue or diminish someone else if they weren't Yellow neither will I act as though I'm any better than anyone, this goes against my nature. All I could do, would be to reflect upon it modestly & quietly.

@EvilAngel @Jamesc Yes haha it completely melts me everytime

I personally never like to quickly jump to any labels for myself because I don't like feeling confined to one single thing so this is why I appreciate the cumbersome aspects of Spiral Dynamics and its flexibility because it only gives more room for multi-colorful exploration of the psyche. But honestly, I've been extra careful and hesitant confronting which stages I feel I am in because I think humility has always been important to me sometimes even to the extent where in the past, I would have a difficult time accepting compliments from people in a healthy way. Sometimes I would find myself in the midst of receiving attention, but consciously pushing my ego down, trying to make it invisible, to avoid any wave of "big-headedness", which to me has always been kind of like a threat and disturbance if I was to ever acquire even an atom of arrogance. Some people in my life growing up if they weren't knocking me down they would advise "I'd grow a bigger ego for once." The thing is, I always found beauty & admiration in everything else around me in Life and it was totally in my nature to do so, and that kept me sane, but when it came to finding any good qualities within, it was a different experience. To be boastful or exhibit any shimmer of pride would mean for me to feel seriously uncomfortable and awkward in my own skin. I think at that time, being so young, not realizing that I can overcome this abusive relationship with the ego, I deflated it so much that I lost any sort of healthy confidence or self-esteem in me. You would think it would be the other way around right? If someone has a mainstream mentality. That praise & applaud & recognition in something would heal the wounds of a teenage introvert? Well surely enough, it had a counter effect, it was only self-punishment, and I had a lot of work to do. I didn't realize Self-Love was actually OK. I feared the traps of narcissism & ego but at first I didn't realize to love oneself does not mean to love one's ego. These are different things. I always told myself it was not "right" to say anything good about myself growing up, and you could say others have contributed to this but you see, I don't even like to say that because I don't like to play the blame-game or dwell in the barriers of my childhood because it has only helped me grow. I can say though, as a woman who has been diagnosed with PTSD at 15 years old, this label doesn't define me neither does it make me exceptional or a victim, for I am a survivor. And I have come to the point in my life now where I can truly value every experience I've had in my life. Even the traumatic ones. Especially the traumatic ones. I just know that when people acquire certain significant names or labels for themselves it can give them a boost, often a toxic boost. I know this is total trickery and I am questioning this because I hate to say but I see ego even within the spiritual community. Which is going against the true integrity of what it means to be spiritual. Does anybody else feel me on this? I know I ain't the only who sees this.. Like I just wouldn't want to see this happen in something as cool as Spiral Dynamics and have it remind me of like that energy of manic kids aimlessly crowding around in a classroom waiting their turn to measure who's tallest in the class with colored markers, one line on a chalkboard. I think this should probably be done carefully and mastered patiently and with lots of study. I don't suspect this is an overnight evaluation. Does anybody get what I mean?

@kieranperez Well said! I like got chills for a split second reading that haha