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So can anyone help me make sense of these dreams? I usually do not have many dreams while I sleep, or I do not remember them when I wake up. However, recently, I have been having these two distinct types of dreams, which are not a 'normal' form of dreaming. Both of them tend to occur during short naps of about 20 minutes and never during a full night's sleep. Type 1: This is where I am flying at high speeds with too much wind around me. I'm afraid I might crash into something, but I don't. It is as if I'm converted into a buzzing bee of some sort. And then whomever or whatever I think of, I am instantaneously in their presence. I thought of my mom and I was there where she was travelling, observing her from 'above' like a bird. I thought of my brother who lives on another continent and I was there- he even threw a pillow at my face like he usually does to annoy me. I felt the actual weight of the pillow and had trouble breathing but could not move my hands to remove it. And that is when I told myself (still inside the dream): "Okay, it is time to LAND." And when I land on the 'ground', I could move my hands, and the moment I open my eyes, my alarm goes off. This has happened more than once: There is a beeping alarm in the background and I tell myself to ''land'' and the moment I do, my alarm goes off. The first time this happened it freaked me out. I've never had any lucid dreams before, is this it? Though I do not think I realized I was dreaming. But I woke up feeling extremely refreshed and replenished as if after an 8 hour sleep. Type 2: This is where I am aware that I'm dreaming, but I'm not a part of the dream. The dream tends to occur in a circular frame in the center of my forehead and there are only images, no sound or sensations. The images are fading away or zooming out at a high speed and if I try to make sense of them, they vanish immediately. I have had images of people talking, plants or leaves in exquisite detail and just random crystalline images. This type usually occurs a couple of minutes before I wake up and do not freak me out like the other one. I do not meditate or do any kind of yoga as yet, at least not regularly. And I have not changed anything in my daily routine recently. I just seem to be extremely exhausted when both of these tend to occur. Can anyone relate to any of these? Thanks a lot.

So I have a habit of journalling a lot whenever my ego gets bruised. And eventually I have realized that I end up judging people a lot, especially if they are someone close to me. No matter what they say or do, I end up putting a label on it. Some of these relationships are 'toxic', and as you can see, it is a label I have put to save myself from being dragged into drama. But I still need to be interacting with them and my judgement on them seems to leak out through those interactions. Is there a way to be compassionate towards toxic people? I do not mean in words and actions, I mean in thoughts. Is it possible to see these people in a new perspective without them changing their behaviour? I do try to tell myself that they're giving me practice time for my awareness, however, that doesn't change my judgement of them, or help me stop judging them. I want to know how you all deal with toxic interactions? Or if you are aware of any specific exercises to be compassionate and judgement free towards them. Thanks.

Thanks @Sunny J Gupta that is a good exercise. And thanks @ivory & @Consept

@Pharion When you say personal growth or spirituality work, you are actually working on 'unconditioning' yourself instead of conditioning new. You are letting go all that is not you, which you have collected over the years. Compare the years of conditioning with the one past year of 'unconditioning'. I believe it takes some time. And more so, I think you are using the same format for the unconditioning process that the society and your family, school, workplace, etc. has used for conditioning, that is beating you up for not living up to your potential in a given time frame. That is fear or guilt based training. And you are right, it is counter productive. From whatever I'm learning, it seems to me, a lot of personal development or spirituality work is counter-intuitive. And we have to train ourselves to be open to that. Try a love-based training instead. Treat yourself as someone you are extremely fond of and willing to bet on no matter what. Like a two year old kid who is just learning new things and fails sometimes, colours outside the lines, sometimes, falls from the merry-go-round sometimes, topples face forward while simply walking. This isn't a case of failure of potential. It is the process of learning anything new. So you ask how do you forgive yourself? You don't need to, because you're not doing anything wrong. Also, I try to pick a topic to work on based on what I'm struggling with. So in this case, I might pick up learning and navigating through self-esteem and guilt. You could begin by checking out the book - the six pillars of self-esteem by Nathaniel Branden - it has a lot of exercises at the end of each chapter.

Thanks. This exercise is to the point and very helpful!

@Commodent Thanks, yes I do that. Do I really have to interact with them? Yes. I no longer get dragged into their emotional dramas, but I live with them or work with them, and I need to interact with them for trivial chores or work related discussions. I've also noticed that my non-reaction to them has made them less interested in interacting with me, which is a plus, but I still have some difficulty being compassionate towards them internally. But you are right, it is a gift which I can decide whether to give or not. Thanks again.

And that brings out other possibilities: Why isn't Usain Bolt manufacturing hardware? Or Bill Gates designing doors? Or Doctor Phil a doctor in Philosophy (this might be close) Or Leo Gura a park ranger?

As in - forgiveness is letting the past be as it is without desiring it to be any different. (Past = past you, past people, past situations, etc.)

I don't know if there is any way of 'knowing' that would have made me avoid mistakes. Because without awareness, I wouldn't know I'm making mistakes in the first place. So the goal then, is not to avoid mistakes, but to raise awareness. Like you said - lying to myself - I would only know I'm lying to myself if I had some semblance of awareness to recognize it as a lie. Now that I think back on my journey here's what I've found: 1. Any answers you find from outside you, need to be verified by you, for you. Not because they're wrong or bad, but they may be wrong or bad for you. 2. Anything that you think is wrong or bad for you might actually turn out to be right and good for you at a later date, when your awareness about it changes. And yet again at another date, you will probably realize this thinking was wrong again. (I'm not sure if there is an end to this cycle). 3. Keep some room in your life for everything you know about yourself to fall apart and some energy to begin anew, because every new level of awareness brings an identity/existential crisis along with it. There is some space between being who you used to be and becoming who you want to be and for a while that space feels like 'emptiness'. The biggest trap is not having the courage to navigate through this space. 4. My biggest mistake - living inside my head instead of inside my whole body. And that seems, I've missed most of my life because I'm mostly in my head. And now I've decided before I attempt to change anything, form any new habit, I need to learn to remain present and not run away to safety inside my head.

Ideal life: When I'm not spending my time, energy and resources in outsourcing wealth, health and unconditional love from others. Suppose I already have all these in abundance, what would I like to do with my day? - Read, drink tea, go for long walks, make art, design something, learn something new, teach what I've learned and use these things to change how people see themselves and the world. It is ironic to note that I do most of the things I listed here without having abundant wealth, health or unconditional love. And then there is something called awareness. I may have a lot of fantasies for an ideal life, but it seems life only has one fantasy (or goal) for me - that is for me to raise my awareness.

I'm unaware of Chaga mushroom tea. I don't think I feel any specific vibrations as such. I, however noticed something after I started exercising. The first 1.5 years of exercising daily, I'd crave very unhealthy or spicy food and get very very hungry after exercising. Around after 2 years, I started 'craving' fresh fruits a lot and now fruits form my one whole meal. Now if I happen to see someone eat ice-cream or extremely unhealthy food, I get nauseous. Of course, it is difficult to explain to people how you no longer like the very same ice-cream you used to die for earlier, and still more difficult to explain is why another person eating something causing a physical reaction in your body. My food requirements have also gone down. I didn't really 'decide' to fast, but eating in the evenings started making me sick in the stomach, so I stopped. If I go by my experience, here's one conclusion: When you heal yourself, you will stop being attracted to things, people and situations that are bad for you. And you will start craving what is good for you.

"The book of forgiving" by Mpho and Desmond Tutu. This line from the book has stuck with me: Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past.

'Mantra': Mann (Mind) + Tantra (Tool or Device). So a mantra is basically a tool/device for the mind. Usually the mantras (or sounds) that are to be chanted are to be done so at a specific time, in a specific rhythm and in a specific way -so as to activate various organs in your physical body through the vibrations created by the sounds you generate. But I believe most people aren't receptive to the in-depth knowledge that each of the rituals entail and it is exhausting for both the spiritual leaders and the people to be teaching or learning them, so they pass it on as 'religious rituals'. Most people just want a solution to their problems without putting in the effort to know how the solution works. This actually gets in their way, cause then they be reciting mantras anytime anywhere and wonder why it is not helping.

@brugluiz I'm sure you've heard or learned about how to draw in 'perspective'? I believe they teach this as the first step in any art course, but in case you don't know, you can look up on YouTube and there are many tutorials there: Look up one point, two point and three point perspectives and practice practice practice... (I'm a designer, but I sketch a lot and like studying art; used to paint earlier). And you're welcome (:

Try to 'feel' the decisions in your body, not just think about them with your mind. How do you do that? Imagine having taken a decision and having taken the action that entails from it and pay close attention to how your body reacts to it: How fast or slow or deep or shallow is your breath and how fast or slow are your heartbeats, etc. It might take a while to pay attention to subtleties, but if you become really aware, you will notice the difference between the two decisions. This isn't the only way to do it, but in case your mind isn't able to take a decision because it is too caught up in pros and cons. The thing with the mind is-if you look for pros, you will find them. If you look for cons, you will find them as well and they will balance each other out. In my experience, my mind is a bloody liar. My body tells the truth. Another way is: Ask yourself who is the highest authority in your life or this decision or who are the people that are going to be affected by this decision of yours. And then ask yourself what would you do if that highest authority or those people loved you unconditionally no matter what decision you take?

@brugluiz The only way to know is to start. And grow steadily. Nobody gets good at something unless they are willing to be bad at it first. Put up a portfolio and ask for feedback and then implement the feedback (only from people who are actually doing what you want to be doing). And if you're an artist of any kind, you will have this constant voice in your head that says - "You're not good enough'' or ''Who do you think you are" or any other versions of it before you even begin it. Because you feel like you're putting your mind out on display: and that is why it is important to dis-identify yourself with your mind. You're not your mind, you're not even what it creates. You're just a channel or catalyst. So even if you think your work is not good enough, you're still going to be good enough to try it. The thing about realistic drawing - people think drawing is a skill of putting pencil on paper, but it isn't. It is a skill of 'seeing'. Once you learn how to see light and shadow and shapes and negative spaces, colours and textures and how they all relate to each other, drawing becomes easier. There maybe some 'seeing' or creativity exercises available online, you can look it up, or practice on your own. I'm sure with time and practice, you will gain confidence in it. Remember, confidence is a result of doing something well, not a pre-requisite.

I have come to realize that I cannot predict in advance on what is going to be a valuable experience for me in the future. I can only make guesses. There are a few movies, pieces of music, theater, dance, etc. that have had a real positive impact on my life though I did not think much of them even after immediately watching/listening/experiencing them and my intention was purely for entertainment. Which means that anything you consume or interact with or experience- can become fuel for your life or work if you are willing to explore it, even years later. But what I find entertaining in any particular moment, depends on what phase I'm in in life. I've spent countless hours of my life watching Mr. Bean and Tom&Jerry cartoons. Do I think those hours were a waste of time? No. But if I watch them now, I might. If I have kids and watch cartoons with them, again- I might not. Maybe instead of thinking about it as entertainment, you could think of it as art. You're doing it for yourself first- because creating it brings value to your own life and sharing your creativity with the world brings joy to you and others (Is joy a value for you?). If it makes you feel guilty, maybe you could change the way you do it or focus on something that you value. Would others find it addicting? Maybe. For all I know, it is even possible to get addicted to Leo's videos for no fault of his. It is even possible to get addicted to exercising, yoga and self-improvement and anything that is considered 'positive' if you're doing it in order to avoid dealing with life.

@aurum That makes sense! Thank you! @NoSelfSelf Yes, I may not be doing it consciously though, but I do.

Does anyone relate to this problem? I have a high degree of introversion and I am in a situation where I need to go and meet people for work. I don't have social anxiety though I used to have a 'selective social anxiety' earlier (anxiety around selective people), but it isn't so anymore. I like meeting people and talking to them, especially if it is something that matters to me. My problem is - interacting with people leaves me extremely exhausted - mentally and also physically. I find I need to eat more and sleep a lot more after I meet people. Example - I interact with someone for two hours in the evening and I need to sleep 9 hours that day instead of my regular 6 followed by a lethargic morning the next day. This doesn't apply when I'm interacting with people who are working WITH me towards some common goal. It only applies when I am talking TO them, either in a social setting or while pitching a project or even just being surrounded by other people without interacting with them. I have always had a few extroverted persons do the talking on behalf of me, but the situation has now arisen wherein I need to be the one who does that. And it is exhausting me and taking up a lot of time regaining the lost energy. Does it get better with practice? Or is there something I need to be learning/ doing differently? Note: I have tried designing my day such that I plan all interactions in the afternoons/evenings, and I keep the mornings for solitary work, but it still isn't enough.

As long as they're available in paper format, it's paper format. I think I memorize things by visuals- fonts, font-spacing, layout, also book cover and size; and since Kindle versions have all the same fonts and layouts, I tend to forget every damn thing I read. So if at a later date, I want to look up something I read a few months ago, I can recall it easily depending on what side of the page it was and also the approximate page number (guessing from how thick each side of the book felt in my hands while I read that particular point). I also need to underline, doodle and write things in the margins all of which seem impossible in Kindle or any ebook version. I will save trees in some other way. Or maybe plant a forest as an apology.

I think who inspires me depends a lot on where I am on my journey. There are qualities I wish I had, but I don't, and when I see them in others, I feel in-spired (in-spirited?) As of now, there are many of them, in different industries and are doing many different things. There's quite a long list, so instead of naming them, I'll list the qualities they embody: Those who USE their life to improve other people's lives whilst completely enjoying it. Those who seek to know themselves so they can do 1. Those who learn and teach what they learn so they and others can do 1. Those who USE their experiences (even painful ones) to grow so they can do 1. Those who inspire others not to become like them, but to be their own inspiration to do 1,2, 3 and 4. P.S: I also wish to thank you for posting this question, cause while typing out this response, I realized what the word 'selfless' actually meant. I had got it wrong all my life.

@Consilience Thanks for the response. You're right. When I think about what I need to do, my identity doesn't matter. Introversion is a concept, but my exhaustion is very real. At least for now. And I agree I have quite a few limiting beliefs, which I've sourced from the past, and I've often wondered: What if I start believing that interacting with people energizes me, then will that be the case?!

Have used this forever (Recipe from my grandmother): Dry roast carom seeds, add water, ginger, holy basil leaves and some salt. Boil till half the quantity. Sieve and drink hot. (One cup a day if you're acidity prone, otherwise could be more. Do not take this along with cold-suppressing medicines as it negates the whole purpose.) And soups with garlic, ginger, pepper, and other 'hot and spicy' vegetables. Also, stay away from anything with added sugar or ice!

Equal in what? What skills? Social standing? Wealth? Health? Wisdom? How do you measure equality anyway? Equality is always equality about something. In your example when you mention 'criminalizing' and 'decriminalizing', it applies to a larger social structure and not their individual desires. So what they desire is of little consequence against what is of benefit to the whole social structure and in what aspects. And what benefits someone or something always depends on what their goals are.

I was a skeptic most of my life, but this is something I read in one of the footnotes in a book and it changed how I look at it. So for an astrology layperson like me, I'm paraphrasing it here: In simple terms, all matter transmit energy and absorb energy. Large forms of matter like planets, transmit large amounts; smaller ones, smaller amounts. Just like the moon creates waves in the ocean, it invariably also is creating waves within us, but it's not measurable since we're too tiny (compared to the ocean). Pure metals, like gold, silver and copper tend to absorb this energy and that is why a lot of people are asked to wear pure metals on their skin. It is akin to installing a copper earthing rod near your house to protect it from lightning. Obviously how much a planet or a plant affects us or how we react to their subtle energy changes depends on how we're made or our composition- physical/mental/emotional. I like to believe the rosy idea that I'm safe from all influences, and that my life is entirely my making, but that is just living a lie- as much a lie as in believing that I can exist without influencing anyone or anything else. I'd like to read some astrology books, and if someone knows where I can begin, that would be very helpful.