Mada_

It is very clear to me that "that" is my true nature, i am aware of who is truly perceiving, and that the mind encompassing the mechanism of belief is the biggest irritant to transcendence. I apolagize if my inquiry has been outlined in Leo's material already, i am in my last couple years of high school so i get to watch them and absorb them in depth rather rarely these days. My inquiry/statement is this: I feel as though clarification is needed to let go of the desire to become enlightened, as this is a phenomenon of thought. The process feels as more of a retraction of thought rather than an ascension, as it was thought of previously by the entity. Maybe needing clarification is an issue in itself, just look for any guidance.

Also i am aware that i have used subjective pronouns, it is clear that an entity does nor exist as the mind not the body is perceiving. This is just out of habit.

I'm looking to do my first psilocybin mushroom trip next week but am unsure on how much I should take, I was considering doing Terrence Mckenna's famous 5 grams in silent darkness/heroic dose. I'm 17 years old and have been having some substantial insights from self-observation and meditation: My meditation practice has evolved over a year and my self observation methods pretty frequent for a few months - I feel my consciousness is expanded and I am starting to comprehend actuality as opposed to believed, conceptual reality. My psychedelic experience is limited, I have only done a 150uq acid trip quite a while ago which was interesting but at this point in my journey I was 'looking for answers' and my meditation practice was much more focus based which translated into an interesting yet rather pointless experience, although there were good intentions underlying the 'insight' gained, I would characterize the trip as a "virtuous" delusion. I feel my experience will clearly be different to those I observe on Youtube who give their 'heroic dose' trip reports, some instances people reporting not being able to distinguish hallucination from reality and I infer this is where most psychological distress stems from. On the psychonaut subreddit I get a straight no when I ask whether I should begin with a 5 gram trip. So from a 'high consciousness' perspective, I'm not saying this to brag about supposedly fitting into this category, but from people who genuinely explore actuality, would I get a lot out of a 5 gram mushroom trip in silent darkness of simply distress?

What dosage would you recommend for my first psychedelic mushroom experience?

The deepest insights belong to no institution