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Everything posted by mmKay

  1. @Even Hessen Thanks for the feedback. Interesting, will check all of that out.
  2. This is the excerpt I was talking about from the very beggining of Maslow's book. We have, each of us, an essential biologically based inner nature, which is to some degree " natural, " intrinsic, given, and in a certain limited sense, unchangeable, or at least, unchanging. Each person's inner nature is in part unique to himself. It is possible to study this inner nature scientificallt and to discover what it is like --- " not invent, -- discover " This inner nature, as much as we know of it so far, seems not to be intrinsically evil, but rather either neutral or positively " good " . What we call evil behaviour appears most often to be a secondary reaction to frustration of this intrinsic nature . Since this inner nature is good or neutral rather than bad, it is best to bring it out and to encourage it rather than to supress it. If it is permited to guide our life, we gro healthy, fruitful and happy. If this essential core of the person is denied or supressed, he gets sick sometimes in obvious ways, sometimes in subtle ways, sometimes immediately, sometimes later. This inner nature is not strong and overpowering and unmistakable like the instincs of animals. It is weak and delicate and subtle and easily overcome by habit, cultural pressure and wrong attitudes toward it. Even though weak, it rarely dissapears in the normal person- perhaps not even in the sick person. Even though denied, it persists underground forever pressing for actualization. Somehow, these conclusions must all be articulated with the neccesity of discipline, deprivation, frustration, pain and tragedy. To the extent that these experiences reveal and foster and fulfill our inner nature, to that extent they are desirable experiences. Also, check out Leo's majestic video on Happiness : Lastly, once you start running on Feeling more than on Thought, all of the traits of " Self-Actualization" of this post start to fall into place :
  3. @Raptorsin7 hmm. I'll get to that in a second. First of all the MOST IMPORTANT PART. How connected are you with your feelings? I get the vibe that not much, but I may be wrong. Are you capable of picking up on the subtle signals that arise in your body in the present moment, in the form of emotions, intuitions and authentic desires? That's Key. Its SO KEY I can't emphasize it enough. Feeling is way, WAY superior to thinking, and is one of the mayor shifts that will get you out of the Dark Night of the Soul and Nihilism overall. You can't get out within the thinking paradigm. I'd say this is one thing that I and many many others as I've seen had to learn the hard way, since Leo's vids didn't teach this explicity back then. Imagine the hypothetical scenario that you do not have the ability to think voices in your head. complete silence. How would you live? How would you decide? Literally no thoughts, just perception. How? By how things feel. By the sublte vibe that people emit and by intuitions, literally without much further thought. Now this is quite an extreme example. This actually requieres nuance. To develop this, I went through a 10 month or more period of just doing " what I felt like" . But this at first will lead you to your lower self instincts. I remember streaks of months and months of routine of porn, junk food and videogames. Just because " it felt good" But you gotta develop nuance in your ability to discern feeligs. Do I feel this desire coming from my " higher self " or from my " lower self ? It's super clear once you learn this language. Obviously in the case of junk food etc, I'ts an addiction , from the lower self, " the desire or feeling of NEEDING to grab some overstimulating mind-numbing food, etc etc. This would be a gross feeling. Quite strong and difficult not to notice. 100% the time will come when you are sitting on your couch and you feel uneasy, as if something was missing, as if you need something. Once again, thats a " gross feeling " We are looking to feel the subtle feelings here. It's like a whisper from your body. Or you may also call it a whisper from your soul. It's LITERALLY TELLING YOU what to do. But do you understand the language? Do you have enough base consciousness to notice and discern this subtle feeling? Or will you let it pass by like an unread whattsapp message that you never get to ? Byron Katie said that If you fight reallity, you will lose 100% of the times. Because things are how things are, and if you wish they were different, you are doomed. Or something like that. Yes, it comes from acceptance. But don't think or have opinions about it. Leo just uploaded a great video yesterday about making nuance distinctions. Feel how different imaginary scenarios make you feel. Feel how " resisting " something feels. Feel how " accepting and embracing " something feels. Literally imagine how something would feel and not only accept it, but love it . If something triggers you, causes you emotional upheaval, then great, GREAT! That's EXACTLY what you need to love and accept. One easy area to look at is whatever makes you feel shame, whatever you judge, whatever you fear / don't want to happen, etc. Basically your shadow. Once again, the process is " Notice that something is making you suffer. Notice that you are resisting it. Accept that you are resisting it. Embrace what is making you suffer by imagining it from all the angles that come up to your mind ( and also try to feel it in your body and emotions) . Embrace , love and accept all of that. Finally watch the Bliss come. You have to allow it to be, and also make your effort to embody it and blow air . Literally Imagine physically and mentally being in a bliss state in the very present moment. Feel deeper, and deeper and deeper into it. That's how you manifest it. " I'm telling you this because ultimatelly there is only so much we can do with words, but your FEELINGS are guiding you the entire time! In the blue Kriya book that Leo recomended when his video on it came out, they call it " inner guru ". Abraham Maslow calls it " the subtle desire for Self-actualization " . It's pretty much intuition, Ill paste an excerpt from Maslow's book in a different comment. Yes and no. You gotta start somewhere, but the most effective way, once again, is by " feeling acceptance" . Once you clearly have felt the distinction between lets say resistance and acceptance / Love, you have a direct experience attached to the sounds " I accept this " , just as I have made a connection between the sound " bliss " and embodying a " bliss" state that I was talking about before. Otherwise it's just an emplty label. If I write " szczęśliwy" , you have no clue what this, because it's a foreign language and you haven't made the mental connection between those sounds and the direct experience of " being happy " ( which is what this word means ) This wall of text should be enough to point you in the right direction. You gotta do the rest if you want actually want to. Besides that, It feels like a deep appreciation and admiration of the Perfection of the present moment, and a deep feeling of Love and acceptance. Start with some direct experience reference that you have of the emotion of Love. Then Imagine it deeper, and deeper, and deeper. Being present, relaxed and focused helps. Good luck
  4. Maybe clickbaity title, but I want to get this message out there. Don't eat 100% dark chocolate first thing in the morning. It's an extreme laxative. Been shitting like an open tap for over 3 hours. Almost had to be drinking salt water real-time to not to pass out from dehydration. And I don't know if I'm done. I don't know how much more I can take. I wouln't be surprised if I came back channeling the new Bible or end up comunicating with Machine Elves. A smart man learns from his mistakes, but a real sage learns from others mistakes. Words are unable to comunicate precisely this experience. Oh God. --- just as I was about to post this I ran to the bathroom to puke out a blast of semi-digested blueberry coconut oil chocolate. Literally as I was mid-vomit a picture of Leo with that santa hat flashed in front of my eyes. I don't know what else to say. I think it's time for a nap. No I didn't take any psychedelics.
  5. Found out that it was the combination that made it explossive. Self made 100% dark chocolate with coconut oil and 2 grams of erythritol. Now it's been over 5 hours of sitting on the toilet on and off. Ended up throwing up as well , many times numb from hips down, shivering hands and chattering teeth. I felt so helpless. Also felt this subtle primal feeling of wanting to snuggle with something to feel safety. I only had my folded beanie around but sinking my forehead and nose into it calmed me down. I like that it was a test for my capacity to suffer mindfully. Also being grateful helped. As a shaman friend of mine said, "you'd suffer even more sh*tting yourself with a jaguar stalking you in the middle of the jungle" ( true story) So yeah, that definately could've been worse. Kinda worried i'd pass out but happy ending.
  6. idk your exact situation but it feels like 1 2 and 3 are all solved by putting time and effort into Life Purpose. If I was you I'd go for 1-2 gap year just to think and introspect. I mean what's more valuable than understanding yourself and creating a fundation to live a fuflilling live for the rest of your life? What's with the rush? Who cares if you finish your studies at 28 or 32. You can even go back to studying to be a family doctor when you are 40 if you feel that's right for you. The career will still be there. Your pressure, rush and lack of time is self induced. Btw, right now your currency and what you call " rewarding " is money. What you call rewarding should be Passion and fulfillment, not dollars. Find your "what" and you will find " how " Also appreciate that most likely, your problems aren't unique. Don't you think every young human being struggles with finding meaning in his life? On the other hand, this really isn't for everyone. Some people simply don't have the autonomy to be the leader of their own life , that's why the education system is great. It keeps people busy and on a " relative " good path that otherwise would just chill with their friends kicking Pepsi cans around and munching on Oreos on the couch, if not worse. I'm not recommending anything,¡. You gotta feel into yourself , ask yourself the right questions and ultimately think for yourself. PD: a little graph that's usefull for somewhat of a fuzzy big picture understanding of Life Purpose. Credits to whoever posted this before on the forum.
  7. Shared the story almost exactly one year ago. Quite interesting to look back at. It's quite a relatively long post but you may get some insights from it. What Kriya yoga did for me was simply to temporarely silence my mind while breathing long and deep, and therefore allow myself to notice that if I don't think, the present moment is pretty much as Perfect as I allow it to be, and I If do I think ( specially through a distorted perception of realliy), I suffer. A lot. Identifying with the voice within and being grounded on un-inquired assumptions of reallity just add on to the pain. TLDR : I realized that my pain was completely self-induced. What worked for me : Notice that something is making you suffer. Notice that you are resisting it. Accept that you are resisting it. Embrace what is making you suffer by imagining it from all the angles that come up to your mind ( and also try to feel it in your body and emotions) . Embrace , love and accept all of that. Finally watch the Bliss come. You have to allow it to be, and also make your effort to embody it. Literally Imagine physically and mentally being in a bliss state in the very present moment. That's how you manifest it. For me it requieres being at least being relatively calm. Maybe you gotta go through this multiple times for one thought/belief/attachement/fear. I'd say it feels quite natural once you put your focus on it One sidenote, addictions can cravings add to the suffering as well, it's not just mental beliefs and thoughts. I had a really intense addiction to carbs / refined sugar, eating disorder, chronic dehydration and overall really bad eating habits besides quite extreme lack of body exercise ( I remember lying in bed up to 20 hours per day barely getting up to pee ) for weeks. I had the luxary of being quite isolated. You don't need to be a genius to notice how that affects your wellbeing. Mind affects Body and Body affects Mind. I realized how sugar LITERALLY HIJACKED my thoughts and emotions making me really depressed and nihilistic. It was a real eye opener. If you are interested, heres my battle with food addiction from half a year ago. I ended up completing the challenge, just didn't document it all the way. ?
  8. @Esoteric I Lmao'd ?, like that guy that was tripping, and he said his dog walked into the room, he petted it and it left. Then he remembered he doesn't own a dog. CG kid on Youtube. Great guy.
  9. @Leo Gura Aight thanks for clarifying. I guess you mean as in the way of expanding and altering your state of Consciousness and since then you include all "other" in the notion or experience of "Self" you have "access" or absolute direct connection to "other", as it's literally you, correct me if I'm wrong. I did experience merging my identity with my thoughts, feelings and perceptions realizing it's all made out of the same ineffable material while doing an Actuallity recontextualization exercise, but I did not experience merging with another Being with such depth. Closest I've ever been was in a lucid dream where I wad looking a girl in the eyes and touched her boobs, just to realize I was looking in my own eyes and was feeling hands on my own nipples LoL.
  10. Sure, I'll share my experience with you. I'll reply in a couple of hours since I was working on a reply for you and I accidentaly deleted 4 paragraphs, and if I do it now I'll most likely half - ass it . ?
  11. Uhh yeah, I thought You'd say something along those lines since I follow the content. But I thought of this " therapy " as a method of a more day to day consciousness way as I don't really have access right to God consciousness on the snap of my fingers yet, to , but I can " rewire their thinking" by guiding their thoughts, inside of this duallity framework. You mean despite of my just slightly above average level of consciousness I can just imagine my mom not to be an alcoholic? I guess it would mean also taking action besides of "thinking it up"? Yeah, I guess what I'm basically trying to say is this
  12. Amazing. This would mean that Healing " others " is possible through simple words, if I'd be able to make them imagine and feel this experience of " surrendering, experiencing, embracing and radiating , assuming they " have a baseline of consciousness" , the proper "open-mindset" rather than being fixed on their attachment to pain and suffering , and are in touch with their body / feelings. It's Literally " remote healing " . Woah.
  13. @lostmedstudent Been a process of 3 years for me till today. I procrastinated really hard on it on the one hand, as it's expected on such deep aspect of life , and on the other hand I was jumping into action every time I had an Insight, thinking I had found my one thing, putting the course on pause and experiencing the idea instead of first having a big picture understanding and then rolling up my sleeves. I did 3-4 quite big jumps in terms of Life Purpose during these 3 years. Now at 60% , re-taking the course because of the new level of self-understanding , and also it's so much wisdom and insight you just forget it . But this isn't about me. It's about you buying into the idea of Life Purpose being the single most important aspect of your life as a human being. Don't focus on how long it takes. Focus on being in the 5% and getting the most Self-Understanding from the course ? Good luck.
  14. @lostmedstudent Couple of points to stretch your imagination and some food for thought: " But how do i do that without giving up my more realistic career path ? Like it would have to be a side hussle , i cant let go of one branch without knowing where to grasp after . ? " Take the Life Purpose Course, I don't feel that you did . How deeply do you understand the magnitude of living a kind of life 100% aligned with your top Values, top Strenghts and that also is specifically fitting to your current psychology, upbringing, genetics , gifts/talents and authentic desires? Are you able to imagine how such thing would feel? Are you able to Imagine the potential of such massive, MASSIVE alignment and congruence? Can you feel the fulfillment? Can you feel the passion coming from you? Can you feel how meaningfull it would be for you? At best you most likely have a vague idea. It takes real effort and introspection to understand yourself. Don't assume you are suposed to understand yourself just because "you are yourself". This takes real work, effort and having faith in that it will be worth it. I don't know how passionate you are about the medicine thing, juding from the " but at the same time i dont have that much interest in telling medical stuff " it seems that it's not the exact thing, as you can expect from a cookie cutter degree provided by society. Society is awesome at bringing us safety, comforts and such, but the biggest lie is the idea of that you need to fit into society. Again, all of this is just to stretch your imagination and some food for thought, nothing else . For such thing to actually happen you would have to take massive responsibility for architecting exactly the kind of life that would be most meaningful to you. Maybe you'd have to blow the whole house of cards that you've built as your life. Maybe you'd have to burn it down and start from scratch as a complete noob in some other domain / art / skill / degree / whatever. Would you be willing to do that for the possibility of a powerful, congruent, authentic life? Even if it entails risks , confusion, uncertainty, depression, being poor and loosing all your stuff and all of your friends? Better have your mid-life crisis now rather than at 50. Once again , this is just to stretch your imagination and some food for thought, nothing else . I deleted a whole paragraph. This will be way more simple . Go to Scroll down almost to the bottom, to the" Full Lesson Plan" . Just by reading the titles of the lessons, you will get a feeling for what Life Purpose may mean. If you aren't willing to invest the price of 4 pairs of Nike shoes in yourself, you may be doomed for longer term confusion and a life of quiet desperation. P.D after putting 10,000 hours in your domain, archiving mastery and aiming for world class, if you aren't relatively famous it's becaues you choose not to?.
  15. What is exactly does fame mean for you? Define in a VERY VERY clear, concise and TANGIBLE way. We tend to be very vague with our desires. Nevermind the reason why you desire it. If you inquire deeply enough you will find the source. ( most likely lack of self-esteem ( or self-love , if you deeply loved yourself UNCONDITIONALLY you wouldn't need no one telling you that you are good enough, pretty, talented, etc. Let's assume that Fame and Attention ultimately boil down to the concept of " Approval " which means " other people liking you " . This may be expressed in many ways; kind words, intimacy, sex ,view count, phat Instagram account, etc etc etc ( you define what EXACTLY it means for you ) . But the insight is that APPROVAL actually comes from within, not from other people! You create approoval inside of you. Try to follow this. You most likely have heard the saying of " nothing is good or bad , but thinking makes it so. Or the idea that Meaning, Value and Purpose are relative, in the sense that "the same things can mean something different for different people". If I write "pies" you most likely will think about a cake. But in my language it means dog, and in spanish it means feet. if I show you peanut butter and you are alergic to it, it may trigger some emotional reaction in you like wanting to get away from it . If I have a jar of peanut butter, it may not last me the whole day before it's gone. Yes? Now : It is NOT THE ACT of hearing someone yell " WOW, is that TINA? I'm your biggest fan" that gives you aprooval ( or whatever your most rewarding experience of being famous would be ) It's your inner wiring that gives meaning to such experience. Some people may be ashamed of a big scar on their face. Long time ago, swordsmen wore such marks with pride. Same thing, different meanings. It's your Inner wiring that " gives permission " to "trigger aprooval " within you. Imagine that it's sunny outside and you feel happy. It's raining and you are sad. That's in a very exagerated way what's happening with you and the concept of " approval" . You have aprooval " ??? yay, I love myself". You don't have it , ?? I feel like I'm lacking something " Now, THE AMAZING THING here is that you can train yourself to MANIFEST APROOVAL AND SELF - LOVE ON COMMAND, from WITHIN ! It is possible to feel like you just won The Oscars RIGHT NOW . It's possible to feel complete now . It's possible to feel as good as if you had 20 million IG followers right now . And even better. The bottleneck is you. How much self-love do you allow yourself to feel? Most likely there is a self-imposed imaginary threshhold that doesn't allow yourself to feel better than this or better than that on a daily basis. Recommended watch : Leo's video on " You aren't happy because you really don't want to " . NR 2 Understanding Meaning, Value, Purpose. Alright. Option number two. Burn through the desire. F*Kin do whatever you want to attain fame. Get full of it, drown in it, get sick of it . Once you've been there and fully experienced it , you will have a different perspective on your thirst for it .
  16. Also, Imagine baking bread takes 40 minutes in the oven. what's the point of checking the oven every 5 min?! Leave the heat in! you will lower the temperature swinging the door the whole time . but actually idk if you need to poke the bread or slightly slice it every now and then. I ain't no baker. AND I DON'T EAT NO ? fyi. this was just for the sake of explanation ?
  17. I can see this idea working if doing long determination sitting, when doing something like 3 hours+ of non-stop sitting. I did it just once - it feels like you are going INSANE without knowing how much more there is left. I guess it would make the pain quite more bearable as well. it can be good as TRAINING WHEELS. to make it "more comfortable" to meditate for hours. To give you some sort of crutch or support. later on ditch it , id say. There are several beeper apps, just get any one that appeals to you. Basically it makes beeping noises every x ammount of time, something like the watches that kids used to wear to school that beep when its 12o'clock, 1 o clock, etc etc . just turn off effin wifi and other notifications. On the other hand, you may as well try counting meditation if you want as some sort of mantra. A 20 min meditation session is 1200 seconds. there goes your timer. Start counting with a reallistic pace. If you loose count, you most likely were in monkey mind mode. Focus on nothing more than counting. definately don't do the beeper for short meditations. ideally you are shooting for "re-contextualizing experience into Actuallity " but the reminder will keep sucking you out of the meditation experience and sucking you back into standart paradigm. it's like trying to learning fishing and every time may be close to catching one you throw a rock to scare it off. I heard you used to be a programmer. Can you deliver this ? ? wait nevermind, my mind already does that for me
  18. If you haven't checked out this one, dont miss it. It definately helps with unstucking our heads out of our asses. It will make you gratefull, inspire the sh1t out of you and convey movie-like scenarios. Yes, maybe it's not the embodiment " Highest Unconditional Love ". Still absolutely remarkable.
  19. Found the YouTube mirror . of Fear of 13
  20. This one is 20+ rounds of slaps. Multiple passing out and they keep going. In one round " Hillbilly Hippie " literally passes out face flat down the stage. His peers pick his corpse back up and he keeps going. We can certainly learn something from their determination, but aimed at something less brutal . Pro tip, if it appears in your recommendations just press on the three dots and click on " not interested " so it stops showing up those vids. Kind of easy to go down that rabbithole
  21. Firstly I wanted to pin it at red but it ain't complete mafia savagery. If you thought MMA is dangerous, check this out . Turns out there is a whole culture around this, and actual live contests with spectators. Good thing is that they may see God when they get their Ego slapped outta' the Soul. Add this to the " practical guide for enlightenment"
  22. Tinnitus has been a part of my life since the beginning. I actually can't imagine the sound of silence, if that's possible. The more aware I become, the more often I notice it's constantly there buzzing, rinning. Not that it bothers me or something, I already accepted it as part of this existance. You remember that time Leo shared the concentration practice ? You could choose focusing on a inner or outer vision, sensations, breathing, Mantras, etc. But what about focusing on the Tinnitus ringing ? It's the one thing that's as constant as the present moment itself. It never goes away. It is the most essential thing that I have found yet. ( besides direct experience of consciousness, the source of thoughts and perceptions ) Theoretically I should able to access superhuman levels of concentration with such easy target. The thing is that the more I focus on it, the louder it gets. Like REALLY REALLY LOUD. Ear-busting level. Remembers me of the shaking / buzzing that I hear sometimes while I'm half asleep half awake. Could this be the backdoor practice for developing paranormal abilities ? Anyways I wanted to consult if anyone has any kind of similar experience with this before rolling up my sleeves and potentially damaging my hearing or learning how to bend spoons with my bare gaze.
  23. @cypres First time i did a test like this. Looks like the frequency is just at my max hearing capability / where my headphones possibly reach their max ( tried two different headphones, first max was 16100 hz and the second one bout 18.100 hz more or less. My little brother's is around the same, and my older brother isn't here atm but I know he has it as well. It gets louder, more immersing and fluctuates stronger the more I focus on it. Simply for having focused on it for half an hour its way more prominent right now. I had different thoughts. Maybe I'm able to hear radio frequence, or wifi, or other things like that. Maybe it is the cosmic sound of the universe. Maybe we've had a life long ear infection. IDK. But I doubt it's the modern alternatives since I'm pretty sure It's been known about since the roman times back when there was no radio.
  24. @Pookie LOL, that's going to be my niche now. 50 Shades of Astral Grey coming soon
  25. *PG 18* It's relatively easy to do, just "hard" to stay in that dimension for long. I don't know if you ever done it. Just gonna throw a short and sweet description. Basically go to sleep with the intent of regaining pressence exactly when the shift of "mundane consciousness" To "sleep" happens. Would be easier than microwaving a bowl of oatmeal having your base level of consciousness. For the sake of explanation consider this concept : imagine like you have two bodies overalapped on eachother, or as if there was a ghost inside of your physical body that feels EXACTLY LIKE YOUR DIRECT EXPERIENCE. This is the "astral body". You may leave your body by different ways. Rolling out of your physical body, tensing your astral abs and crunching up, or experiencig a sleep paralysis where you cant move ur physical body but "you are aware". From my experience this is the moment where it's easiest to leave. The "muscles" you are trying to move are from the astral body. But idk how to deliberately have sleep paralysis so nevermind that. You leave your body, you float up by default and you controll with your will and thoughts. I'm just so interested in what would happen for you with such level of Awareness. Maybe you could be an astral Lifecoach for machine elves or smth. Just throwing ideas lol. From my handful experiences I was never able to sustain it for more than a relative minute or two. But me and my dad seem to be naturals since we did it with no guidance whatsoever. Little anecdote: there i am, having just popped out of my body. Im floating at the roof of my room. I get myself to fly down vertically. My feet make contact with the floor. It feels cold AF even though IRL I have a carpet. Seems that my horniness followed me to this dimension. First thing that comes to my mind is wow, this is it. I heard I can have astral sex? Then somehow I manifested three hot astral babes. I remember they were blue. But they werent in three dimensions. It was a weird mix between two and three dimensions. It was really dificult and mayne impossible to have a proper look at them. My most accurrate description is two / three dimensional "Mosaic Art" beings. Dmt art and machine elves are close, but these were WAY more humanoid. Anyways, the one in the middle turned around, bent over and sticked her ass out to me. The two on the sides grabbed her asscheeks and pulled them apart. Yass. This is what Ive been meditating all these years for. Thanks to my sharp social skills and deep understanding of female psychology I assumed that this I was an Invitation for me to make a move. Excited, I removed my belt in one strong pull ( weird, because obviously I didnt go to sleep with a belt on) and unzipped my pants. So I flipped out my suprisingly long astral cock to rawdog my new hot interdimensional wife not caring at all about childcare or std's. AND THEN?? Right before sticking it in I got kicked out of the dimension. WOW!? If you ever played minecraft it was EXACTLY as if you loose internet connection or you get banned from a server. Imagine you are inmersed in the game , minding your own business looking at the pixeled screen and from one second to the another you are staring at the lobby screen with the words "disconnected from server" I was COMPLETELY CONSCIOUS during the "dimension switch". It was like flipping a switch. I was sad, dissapointed and horny. I felt like that was a like a standard test towards newbies for deeper access to the dimension. Now I see why its called having " Blue balls " LOL I'm an astral incel. I could have lost my astral virginity. Ive been a sad boi ever since. lol This is your chance to get laid in quarantene guys