mmKay

Disillusionment is real. Warning: Wall of text incoming https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/103717-who-loves-post-modernism-new-video/?page=5 I thought it would be relevant to re-post something I shared some years ago on the topic " What I do know is that when I grasped the true nature of Meaning, Value and Purpose, I fell into a Dark Night of the Soul of pure relativism for a good 2-3 years in my early 20s before trascending it This relativism stuff is no joke. It can seriously destabilize your mind, your life and your identity. I have a lot of empathy for why people have a knee-jerk reaction against it. What if your life is a house of cards that can crumble with a little shaking of your fundations?" "When I first realized the true nature of meaning, value, and purpose, it felt as if the very foundation of my reality had collapsed. Meditation already had begun this process, but your video on understanding these concepts burst my bubble in an aggressive and blunt way. Something which was definitely not the right time for or something that I was looking for at that moment, but I already was aware that curiosity kills the cat when I went down that rabbithole. It was as if knocking over the first domino led to the rapid, uncontrollable, unstoppable collapse of my entire conceptual framework of reality. Once I realized that certain things were mere social, cultural, linguistic or human constructs, it didn’t take long for me to question EVERYTHING ELSE in my life or that I was capable of thinking of, leaving me with a profound sense of absolute groundlessness, and a freedom SO VAST that it was ABSOLUTELY TERRYFING. One of the most insidious aspects of this relativism was how my ego hijacked it for self-serving purposes. When nothing holds inherent meaning, the ego can rationalize any behavior, no matter how destructive or self-defeating. I found myself trapped in this mindset, using relativism to justify my fears, addictions, and self-destructive habits. Even though I knew, on some level, that judgments, rejection, and failure "shouldn't matter," I remained paralyzed by these fears. The ego thrived on the infinite double standards relativism allowed, twisting logic to maintain its grip. I would rationalize that personal development was pointless, meaningless, and biased, making no sense to pursue. Growing up, I was deeply absorbed in video games. 10+ years of WoW. 5 years of LoL , besides of dozens of other videogames. The stories, quests, currencies, characters, competition, victories, defeats within those games were incredibly real to me, not just pixels on a screen. They provided real sense of progress, purpose and achievement. Realizing that these experiences were mere constructions was painful. It shattered the illusion I had built around them and took away a lot of enjoyment and escapism. Some realizations like that my parents gave me my name, and that it could have been anything else, as of today seems so obvious and a surface level insight, but it's actually not obvious. I bet more than 3/4 of the human population is not aware of that and truly belives their name is real and belongs to them. I realized that things don't have names, that we create them with arbitrary sounds and symbols and concepts, and that different things are called different ways in different languages, and we just use this system for comunication. It's not truth. I realized that morality, ethics, manners , good or bad are relative, that the law is groundless and relative ( and why it exists ) , that possessions aren't real but social and mental constructs, that countries don't exist, money is a construct, that time is subjective and age doesn't really exist. These realizations only worsened my sense of confusion and disorientation at the time. I was 21 years old and had just started living on my own for the first time, fresh out of school. The world of meanings that had defined my life—exams, grades and worrying about what my classmates thought of me—crumbled away. Academia and the sense of safety it provided revealed themselves to be nothing more than a game and an illusion. The importance I had placed on these things disintegrated, leaving me feeling utterly groundless and foolish, like I had wasted all that time. As this process unfolded, I came to a realization that no matter what happens, everything is "absolutely okay." This insight led me to stop inhibiting my impulses, which inevitably pulled me toward distractions, addictions, and comfort. Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months as time flew by, and I found myself increasingly detached from any sense of purpose or direction. I stopped judging and moralizing my actions, instead choosing to simply observe whatever I was doing and go with it. This approach dissolved much of the internal resistance I once felt and allowed me to sink deeper into the present moment, for better or worse, which ended up just leading me to seek out comfort and pleasure while avoiding discomfort and pain. For weeks, I would lie in bed, utterly unmotivated and aimless. The female attention and aprooval I once craved stopped being meaningful. I convinced myself that day and night didn’t truly exist, so there was no reason to wake up at any specific time. I saw no point in maintaining basic hygiene or even wearing clothes the "right" way. I would go to the supermarket unshowered, wearing dirty clothes, messy hair and shirts backwards and inside out , rationalizing that there was no right or wrong way to dress. When I had a part time job at a restaurant, I remember letting some customers walk away without paying because in my mind it didn't matter. My sense of self-importance crumbled as well. I realized I was no more significant than a fly or a cockroach, and this realization left me feeling profoundly insignificant and purposeless. Even ending my own life literally didn't make sense, something I never considered seriously. This extreme relativism led me to a state of profound laziness but also access to unconditional happiness. I found that I could lie in bed for months, feeling ecstatic, almost like what I imagine being high on heroin is like, without needing to do anything to achieve this happiness. This was an absolute ambition killer. The sense of meaninglessness was so deeply embedded in my mind that any attempt to take action felt like a distraction, causing emotional resistance. It was as if taking any step away from doing nothing would shatter the fragile peace I had found in this state of inaction. I didn't know who or what I was anymore. I realized that identity, what you yourself identify as, is absolutely groundless and are just meaningless or self-constructed labels. The one thing that didn't crumble was my sexuality. I considered that if absolute relativity is true then everyone is in actuality pansexuaI. But in practice I was just not attracted to men. Period. I didn't need identify as a man , adult or human for the validity truthfulness of my feelings of attraction and preference to whatever I perceived as an attractive female. This shift also marked a clear and sharp transition from analytical thinking to a primarily intuitive approach to life. Intuition gradually became my core mode of operation, guiding my decisions and shaping my reality. I began to connect with and respect my emotions in a way I hadn’t before. Emotions became central to my experience, driving my choices and dictating how I engaged with the world. At that time, this intuitive, emotion-driven way of living was deeply ingrained in me, and emotions, feelings, and intuition were the only ground I could rely on. The descent into relativism also isolated me from others, as I saw them as characters in a game - NPCs, unaware of the constructed nature of their realities. It was a lonely existence, like living in a "Truman Show" where everyone else was oblivious to the truth. Every person I encountered was locked into their own paradigm of understanding the world, unconscious of the constructed nature of their reality. No one would understand me. I couldn't relate to anyone and actually people would judge me and reject me for thinking or talking in these ways. People said I was depressed, when actually I felt more sane than them but confused. This descent into nihilism and relativism eventually pushed me toward "mysticism". As I understood the nature of meaning, language, and concepts, I also deeply understood I didn’t know what anything was anymore; I faced deep not-knowing. I intuitively began practicing "neti neti" meditation and "actuality meditation," which led to temporary heightened states of consciousness and experiences of non-symbolic awareness. These practices helped me trascend the conceptual limits of the mind and connect with a reality beyond words, thoughts and even perception, leading to things like seeing the ox' tail with what I think is a samaddhi experience ( this entire " perception bubble" is made out of the" same stuff" , even "me", the observer, is made out of the same " stuff ") , the insight that thoughts literally APPEAR INTO EXISTENCE from pure nothingness in the most direct way possible, and later some accidental astral projection. I also realized that non-duallity is so non dual it entails duallity, which just mindf*cked me again, and that I was engaging in spiritual bypasing. Eventually, though the pass of time, the school of hard knocks, awareness , trial and error and tremendous amounts of confusion and needless suffering, , I began to see that while all things might be meaningless, there is a universal law of cause and effect. Both cause and effect are meaningless in themselves, but they have real consequences nevertheless, and I personally have real preferences toward certain consequences over others. To deny that would be self-deception. It's obvious but it did not make sense for so long. For instance, I would rather be free than in jail. This is a child-mind level insight I had to re-learn. I realized that being bummed out by meaninglesness is a mental fallacy. Meaninglesness is meaninglessness, not negative. These realizations helped me begin to rebuild my life by recognizing that life itself operates with a deeper intelligence that transcends these constructs, with inherent logic and rules that we discover through trial and error and direct experience. I realized that relativism doesn’t hold up in the practical world; it’s only a limitation of the mind, logic, conceptual frameworks, and language. Being locked in this experience and perspective of being · an alive human being · comes with specific biases and preferences. Something obvious but aparently, not so obvious. This going full cirlcle understanding allowed me to see the limits of Relativism and Nihilism : They overlook nature's nature." - - - I'm 28 right now and that experience still affects my day to day every single day.

Funnily enough I can't have kombucha ever since I drank water kefir every day for months. It gives me heart palpitations. My current explanation is that my gut microbiome has permanently shifted and dislikes the kombucha bacteria , but that may be bro-science

May be stoopid idea but have you considered wearing a full face respirator mask? https://308industries.com/products/mira-safety-cm-6m-tactical-gas-mask-full-face-respirator-for-cbrn-defense?utm Can't think of a quicker cheaper solution

Imagine the day that the COVID-kid generation grows up after being socially isolated in their youth and having had endless access to iPads and AI brainrot brain substitute Godspeed Over relying on AI for thinking, writing, contemplating and decision making will make your brain go out of shape. So you'd have to pay $20 per month to keep access to your mind

Half-baked lukewarm take: They "accidentaly" leaked it on purpose. Can't sell to the military or the goverment without ruining your brand? Just 'accidentally' put it on the internet and let them "find it". Oopsie

Source? I haven't found anything on the topic. Also please use a more appropriate title for your thread

The reason why I'm still on the fence on whether I'm an introvert or extrovert,if that even is a thing, is that I have a life long "tendency" of " acting or having the lifestyle" of an introvert. I've spent basically until 18yrs old, days and weeks socially isolated due to upbringing challenges, videogame addiction, bullying etc. I did not have much social contacts growing up besides my brother, because I was conditioned that socializing = judgement, rejection and real danger . So I'm trying to uncover my true socializing balance here beyond circunstancial behavioral habits and upbringing conditioning. If I ask myself, would I be happy if I was the only person alive in earth, it's a clear " I wouldn't want to be alive" Other people existing are the source of my meaning of life and the purpose of most of my personal development. I had a series of experiences in my early 20s that allow me to bliss out in command when I'm doing nothing, and yet it feels like I'm wasting my life if Im not actively socialising to some degree. Am I an introvert or do I just have the habits and lifestyle of an introvert? Because isolating for too long doesn't make me fulfilled Hence so far I believe I may be an introverted/shy extrovert. Or I just need to expand my definition of an introvert.

How do you differenciate if you're an introver or an extrovert? As of now I define myself as an introverted extrovert. I absolutely need people in my life once in a while to be happy, fulfilled and sane. Also other people bring s lot of meaning to whatever I aspire to in life. But it gets too much very quickly and I need to retreat into my isolated shell where I can recharge and turn inwards. Can't tell if I'm infp or enfp. Leaning on enfp-t for now

@Natasha Tori Maru yeah that's a common model for generating revenue. I think it would have been more effective if they actually dominated the market, but at this point I feel that it will just drive customers away even more to other platforms In December I got access to 1 year of Perplexity premium for free. Before that I used to pay for Chatgpt premium monthly for over a year maybe, but their model got worse and worse with each update. And when I tried to cancel they would throw free months of subscription at me if I "freezed my subscription" instead. Sounds like they are pretty desperate at this point. Claude seems to be doing things right though.

Did you guys hear about OpenAI shutting down their video generation tool Sora because it was not profitable? They also are limiting more and more their free features for Chatgpt. Limited messaging and uploading pictures. I don't want to catastrophize but it sounds like their last straw. I don't think it's going to lead to more revenue and it will only drive more and more people away from their services.

Obsidian by far. The canvas feature is amazing for visual thinkers. That alone is worth it as your life management system. Used one note 2013 for almost a decade, Notion for about a year. Never felt right for my personal needs. And I absolutely don't trust Notion for some reason. I feel there will inevitably be the big 2028 Notion scandal or something. They have way too much venture capital. I predict it's gonna be an Evernote 2.0 disaster

Personal Development enthusiasts sometimes end up being somewhat naive with what is or is not possible for each one of us with that " my beliefs are the only limits " mindset. Let's gather all the genetic lottery winners ? Note : Try to discern high skill and mastery from LITERALLY genetically special people. Genetically special people that also have high mastery ( Like Charly Puth's Perfect Pitch ) is okay for this thread as well. But not just mastery or high skill. For example, no ammount of training will give you the ability to hear colors without the right genetics ( AKA Synesthesia ) Here are some examples of what I mean :

In 1983, 61-year-old Aussie potato farmer Cliff Young shocked the world by winning the brutal 544-mile Sydney-to-Melbourne ultramarathon, in gumboots! His quirky "shuffle" run and nonstop grit (while pros slept) smashed records by 2 days. He even split the prize money with rivals, cementing legend status.

I wear Saguaro barefoot shoes as much as possible. They don't have individual fingers but they feel like a sock with a rubber sole and have a very wide toebox. Your feet can get pretty cold if the floor is cold though.

Hey guys, I flew in from Spain and I'm on the East Coast for one more week. If anyone's around Philadelphia or NY area and wants to meet up, let me know. Disclaimer: This is not affiliated with Leo or Actualized.org . It's just an casual meetup among forum members. Also note that organizing meetups is generally not allowed for many reasons, so let's do our best to keep it civil

Bumping this in case anyone missed it

I've been dancing sensual bachata for 2.5 years going out 3 to 7 nights a week. If it bothers you that she goes out dancing every other night she will most likely choose dance over you, unless you provide very high value to her life somehow The local dance scene tends to be pretty reserved, since everyone knows everyone you don't want to build a bad reputation. Normally you dance pretty much non stop so rarely you can use the dance as an opener to talk to her for a long time before the next guy snatches her. Also most dancers don't drink or barely drink since they must keep their coordination. The hook-ups happen either if you stay until closing of the venue late night or if you go to dance Congresses where everyone travels to a different part of the country or continent and stays at the same hotel for 3 to 5 nights. Theres plenty of girls with boyfriends that go out dancing every other night and the stay in the same relationship for a good while. Normally they're both dancers but I know of dancer-non-dancer relationships Either accept and trust her doing her dance thing, start dancing yourself or find a different girl. But you would be better off just letting go of the worry of her cheating , since somethng along these lines will be a recurring situation in all of your relationships Latin dances are great for building a social circle. For hook ups bars and clubs are almost better if you've got some game. In order of least to most hookups ---> Salsa -- Bachata/Zouk -- Kizomba

Imo being able to be sexualy satisfied obviously depends on your sex drive and genetics. There is a huge variety there, just like everything genetics

Make it a trilogy

One Big Beautiful Book Going to th US tomorrow for the first time. ESTA visa is twice the price now🤔

I had a dream tonight where I was explaining God to Mark Zuckerberg as I was lying down on my sofa and he found it interesting and he locked my consciousness as an AI on Facebook to answer user's God-related questions one by one

You can have all the necessary tools and equipment for a mountain trip ( backpack , shoes, provisions, map...) but if your health plays tricks on you, nothing will save you. Necessary tools for a delic' trip are: acurrate epistemology, state, intention, setting and of course, good genetics and stable or healthy mind. The more unhinged you are the exponentially more likely it is that you will have a bad trip or you're going to delude yourself in the aftermath. Outside of schizophrenia, how does she rank on the essentials? Is she stable and grounded? How is her mental health?

Learn more about project Geenie: https://blog.google/innovation-and-ai/models-and-research/google-deepmind/project-genie Reminds me of this AI Minecraft project: https://oasis.decart.ai/welcome