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Everything posted by RiseAbove

  1. This is gold!
  2. I am no better than any other attention whore, however I want to feel morally superior. I feel like I can explain everything with my knowledge in the world, yet I feel that I am a noone. Makes me remember of a talk of a hungarian psychologist I listened to. He explained the idea of the transition of a child's mind. As a child is born, he/she experiences the world as if he/she was the center of it. Everything comes to him/her, everybody cares about him/her, and he/she deducts that he/she must be in the center of the universe. As the child grows, it will eventually it will face things that are impossible to be given to it. The more of these a child has, the more it feels that it's needs are not important. This was called the transition period. The parent's rule in this period is impeccable for a healthy and well developed ego for the child. If you deny the needs, divert the attention from the child's needs, it can start to think that she is not important, her needs are not prior, the person she represents does not matter, the wants it have must be repressed. It thinks that he/she is just a speck in the universe. The opposite possibility is that a child will be always given it's demands, and it will be still a priority in a family. The child thinks that it's needs are impeccable, the needs of his/her are over everyone elses, his/her will must be fullfilled. "I am the center of the universe still". Most of the times you can observe these symptoms on yourself in adulthood. You just have to observe how do you feel. Do you feel as if you were just another speck of dust in the universe, a part of a machine, a noone or someone who is utterly important, whose will is above, who has to have, or sometimes these two can actually switch and/or mix. Why am I writing these lines? Do I just want to sound like an intellect and gain popularity? Why am I shaming myself? I just want to show that I can. I feel like I am not worthy of attention though. I feel that it does not matter what I write I will never be reconsidered as a human. It is perhaps because I do not even consider myself as a worthy human being? Am I just playing into my victimhood narrative? Do I just want your pity? Would I like to manipulate you into feelings towards me?
  3. Hello people. I am thinking to myself where to find good mirrors for reflecting on our own behavior. I personally find 4chan fascinating on this, highlighting one's moral highgrounding or pointing out one's logical phallacies. Of course this is only possible if you are able to accept criticism. Of course, it is a superly judgemental site, but the legal criticisms made possible are really appreciable. Can you list me a few other places where you can reflect in a similiar way?
  4. I've just had this childhood memory reoccur to me: when I did something wrong towqrds another child in the daycare, they forced us to shake each others hands and to say sorry to each other. This is probably one of the worst method I've seen how to do conflict resolution. I've learnt so early that people only want their moral obligations forced on others. Forcing two children who are angry at each other without asking them what their problem is, awakens resentment. Also it could very easily turn them into manipulative personalities. Just make them alright on the surface, and so I will see them as "good kids". If one child realises that the only way for conflict resolution is to abandon the conflict and be resentful afterwards, it hurts their feeling of justice, the feeling of being right. Right in not a sense of being right over another, but being right to ones core values.
  5. This night contemplating I discovered a very toxic feedback loop, yet a very simple one: in order to gain one's pity, the strongest manipulating agent in western culture, you have to become a victim. This is done by self sabotage then a well oriented victimhood narrative. I am a mastermind hidden behind the veils, and I feel guilt crushing on me.
  6. My soul and my limits are constrained by myself and my subconscious. When you wish for something, make sure it is wisdom. When asking yourself, ask what foolish thing am I doing to make it worse for myself? The tension, the restriction of my free expression at all cost not to hurt my mother's feelings. She did not learn how to grow up. She was never told no, and my father carried her all the way until now. The puer aeternum. When seeking for a relationship, I also have to learn how to say no. I have to know what my inner values are, and know that they have limits. I am sure that I have the willpower to say no, because I have the responsibility over my soul. I will not let myself be emotionally manipulated or guilt-tripped to act against my own values. I have been guilt tripped enough in my family to forget my own values. I have been running away for long enough into video games, family, hobbies, alcohol. IT IS TIME TO FIND MEANING IN MY LIFE. I have been catered to long enough. Expedience is the thing that takes you off the hook the fastest and the antidote for that is meaning. I have to make my meaning. I don't want to put my meaning into material wealth. Life is an adventure. I can't be worried all the time about being X way. One goal of mine is to create the way for people not to be driven by fear, but by their will to create. To create a world of opportunities, not threats. To show them that there is no enemy, or the biggest one lies in each and every soul. To lead them out of victimhood narrative. To show them there is future. (P.s.: To show myself that there is a future)
  7. As Nietzsche put it: "But this people has deliberately made itself stupid, for nearly a millennium: nowhere have the two great European narcotics, alcohol and Christianity, been abused more dissolutely"
  8. I guess for me agressive synthwave is the go https://youtu.be/9ayYeLLT8bs
  9. For all the rational oranges out there, here's our video on how to overcome it: avoid the digital cuckery
  10. Sorry, but had to do it
  11. I'd say it's general performance anxiety. Also about porn, whenever I have a boner nowadays and wanna do fap I watch this video:
  12. Another thought loop that is making me have bad decisions is my decision making system and it's black and white thinking. When I observe myself thinking about making decisions, an obsession, or some kind of frustration comes up the surface: I am either going to continue thinking about doing the thing and evaluating do's and dont's forever or make a sudden decision of doing the stuff right now, without evaluation. This kind of non-self negotiability is sometimes triggering, but sometimes it is really useful. Currently, as I observe this technique, I see that I can come off to people as impulsive or highly non-debatable, which is true in it's sense, but I only see words, not actions.
  13. First of all, let's start with the evil circle of mine, which could start at points of following: Looking for pity, setting myself belittled in view of other people (maybe as inferiority complex)-->self degradation, conscious or unconscious-->victimhood narrative-->living the victim life-->believing that I actually deserve this mentality--> believing I can't change on any of this-->despair-->suicidal thoughts Acts that I took during my life: I am/I should be/I should show myself as: - Overwhelming - Good Guy -Smiling -Happy -Manly -Strong -Not a virgin -Behaving Kid -Nice -Orderly -Confident -Egoless/Selfless -Not Virtue Signalling -Conflict avoiding -Calm -Not Smiling -With girlfriend My drugs/addictions are: - attention of others, video games, coffee (slowly coming off of it), porn (Nofap since 1 week), distraction from reality, thinking, daydreaming, Youtube, Facebook I think I am: compulsive, daydreaming, defected, unworthy, self-obsessed, anxious, lacking self-esteem, looking for happiness from external sources, introvert, perfectionist. I would like to improve myself with Personal Development and psychedelics in the following ways: drop my roles of: The sufferer, perfectionist, the loser, the nice guy, the mistreated, the abused, the smartass, the professional, mr military/gun guy, the one who already gave up, the guy who impresses everyone, the lone wolf, gentleman, sinner, antihero, the joker, the one who does without thinking, the crazy Eastern European, tough guy, mr. dangerous, the simple man, the man with answers, mr. ridiculous.
  14. @Girzo mmm... pickles, yum
  15. Hello people! I'd like to share with you my experience with how to reduce your craving for sweet taste. So basically the method is to use sour taste instead of sweet whenever possible. You can trick your brain into thinking that a sweet sensation goes along with the sour taste. Just remember sour candies in your childhood. Remember that sweet and sour feeling, but now only with sour.. I managed to come off sweetened drinks and sweets this way. I just focus on needing a different taste than sweet. Focus on the sour taste, feel for it, enjoy it. You actually get a lot more taste from this method, than using sugar. I generally noticed that sugar supresses a lot of taste from the food I was eating, while sour managed to intensify it. Tell me your results if you were using the same method
  16. @Gabriel Antonio No, but I guess I will watch it today then.
  17. Suicide is easy. Did you do everything, literally everything possible to raise your happiness levels? If your answer is that no, because it's hard, then do the hard thing. Become the hardest of all. You will not be taken down easy.
  18. Hello there fellow people. I have a rough idea about how could I fullfill my life purpose. I am living in an Eastern European country, full of corruption and hatred. I'd like to use spiral dynamics for either educational or political way. (I am actually thinking of creating a party) The big problem I fear is that I will become your typical machiavellist, manipulative person in politics. I'd like to give to the world my knowledge, however small it may be, but I fear that my ego, my need for survival overrides me. I'd like to ask for your suggestions. Thanks