Wekz

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Everything posted by Wekz

  1. I know Leo talks about disolving the ego and how the ego is the main source of our suffering, but in my case i have a terribly weak ego, and i believe a stronger one would be beneficial for me. Its so weak that i have lost all sense of selve, but not in a good way, but a disfuncional one. I have found a video by Shinzen Young, where he describes a form of meditation that strenghtens the ego structure, but i'm not completely sure what to do. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3gv05sLZQBU Does he mean to focus for example on the mental image of my foot when i feel into it? And on the image of my shoulders when i feel into them, and so on? Or does he mean something else?
  2. I took maybe 3mg of freebase 5 meo, and it hit the second i smoked it. Its a small dose so i didint have any mistical experiences, but the thing that was present was pure love, unconditional and pure. It didint last long, maybe for a few minutes, then i started to feel unconfortable in my stomack, but i relaxed and the feeling faded away. The feeling was very similar to MDMA, maybe identical. I want to up the dosage but i dont have a good scale so i can do it properly. But now i feel nothing mutch has changed, probably need to up the dosage to have something stick.
  3. Was someone stuck in learned helplessness, and how did you overcome it? What can help to deal with it?
  4. Whitch are the best supplements to treat ADHD?
  5. Subcouncious fear, trauma, phobia, fear of sex
  6. MDMA makes all my emotional problems just melt away. I get more confident, i know exacly what to say and what to do. Its like i wake up and become the person i want to be, and i am. Sadly when its wears off all my problems come back. And i am stuck again. What does that mean, that i need to love myselve more or? How can i make the feeling stick?
  7. I fucked up, my life was changing so quickly and i got so scarred at a moment that i tear down my hearth chackra, it litterary felt like i teard down my hearth. Since then nothing seems to work.
  8. I'l try yoga, maybe that works.
  9. I am trying but its like something is blocking me. When i meditate i get this preasure in my head, and the more i try to relax the more riggid i get.
  10. Does anyone know a good way to deal with shame? Its a constant feeling for me, and i dont know how to get rid of it. I cant even identify mostly what i am ashamed about, its just there, all the time.
  11. Ive watched her videos, but nothing seems to help...
  12. I was depressed and anxious and didnt know what to do, so i tried nootropics, armodafinil and l theanine, but they didnt work. At that time i didnt know why, they made things even worse. Then i discovered that i was abused as a child, i reconnected with the experience and that went me flying. Now i tried them again and they work, they realy work. I am far from healed, but since i discivered the root cause, nootripics work. What i want to say is how important it is to find the root of your illment, then you can start to heal it, and that then nootropics work lol
  13. The root cause of all my mental problems was and still is, to some extend, the fear of rejection. And it is extrodinary how deeply this fear afected my life. It took over every area you can imagine. It made me depressed, anxious, paralized to do anything. Then again i was raped and emotionaly abandoned by my family members, whitch left a deep trauma and fear in me. But the root cause beneth everything was fear of rejection, and when i brought my averness to it, it imediatle soothened the simptoms. Maybe you recognize it in you, just google fear of rejection and there you can find the simptoms.
  14. Just realized that tehnologie (phone,tv,radio) are the greatest obstacle to counciousness there ever was.. You become a uncouncious robot, that repeats the same thing again and again, like clockwise, every single day, even worse, you get brainwashed with the same shit every day. Again and again.
  15. Whatever i do i cant raise my counciousness, nothing helps, not meditation, not medication. Would it be smart to try 5meo dmt? I tried ayahuasca but it lead just to a nightmare trip, so im afraid it would be the same.
  16. @OctagonOctopus @Apparation of Jack I'll do my best.
  17. @Apparation of Jack its a bad living situation, but its realy fucking hard to go find a job and live on your own when your in a state like that.
  18. @Codrina that im alone, and noone realy cares about me, but it was before i knew i was abused as a child, and it kinda showed me that, maybe now it would be different.
  19. @OctagonOctopus @Codrina ty ill try to accept what is, doesnt answear my question though
  20. Its like my eyes dont work, everything is blurred, and im totaly confused. My stomac hurts, and i feel powerless in my legs. There were moments when everything just cleared up, but then it would just start all over again.
  21. After i DECIDED that i can live without the person who hurt me, i litterary felt a vein in my neck clearing up, and oppening up, i assume letting blood flow to my prefrontal cortex again, and increasing my awarness. In fact letting me be aware again. I lived with him, and he wanted me staying in bad shape because he could use me and manipulate me, and in orded to survive in this conditions i couldnt allow myselve any growth. Only after i clearly decided to leave, and left, i could allow myselve councious growth. Hope this can help someone. It can be tough but its the way out of suffering.
  22. After i DECIDED that i can live without the person who hurt me, i litterary felt a vein in my neck clearing up, and oppening up, i assume letting blood flow to my prefrontal cortex again, and increasing my awarness. In fact letting me be aware again. I lived with him, and he wanted me staying in bad shape because he could use me and manipulate me, and in orded to survive in this conditions i couldnt allow myselve any growth. Only aftet i clearly decided to leave, and left, i could allow myselve councious growth. Just wanted to share this, and hope it can help someone.
  23. Why does my stomack hurt all the time? Because im resisting emotions? Or is it something else? Does anyone know?
  24. Incredible what you did, thank you and gj!