Wekz

@now is forever thx for the advice, like it very mutch :). I'll see what happens the next few days, if hes gonna take my advicd or not. If no i have no other choice but to leave...

@flowboy yep, it is apsolutely mindboggling how mutch shit they have past down on me. For the last few months i am regularly puking while clearing all of that. I even got that same fear of abandonment inprinted in me, even though i didnt knew my grandfather, cause he died before i was born... was sobbing for an hour yesterday. Just crazy how mutch of that is passed down.

The family, he left for work to another country and took my Fathers sister wirh him, he was there for 15 years or so... he died a couple years after he returned back home

Simply put, you are depressed because your life is not going the way you want it to. You keep trying and trying to make things work, but you fail every time, sometimes because of outer surcumstances: people, money etc. and most of the time because of internal surcumstances. And if you keep trying to bruteforce your way into success you will fail every single time, and become even more depressed. The only way to get rid of depression once and for all is to go back into your past and find the reasons there, why you keep failing and self sabotaging yourselve. You need to examen your childhood, how were you raised, how did your parents treat you, what negative believes about yourselve and others did you addopt. You need to go back in time and examine everything thats there, only then you will be able to let past traumas go and live the life you want to. And remember, this stuff is subcouncious, that means you dont remember it and you have no idea that this childhood experiences are holding you back, you need to get councious of them and experience the emotional pain that comes with then, and change the negative believes that you formed.

It is sertanly not the only way to treat depression, you can distract yourself, you can take medication etc. But if you do that it is guaranteed that the depression will eventualy come back at some point, because you didnt deal with the cause of it. But if you find and heal the original wound there is nothing to come back, you erase it from your memory and your system, and you dont need to ever worry about it again.

@bejapuskas Not yet, but i look forward to

This is how i discovered the root cause of my helplessness, maybe it can help you to find the root of whatever problem you have. I was sitting and watching a video, when i noticed my brother listening to what i was watching, i kept watching for a few seconds and then stopped the video, i noticed im doing that quet often, stopping doing something when someone gets interested in it. I asked myselve why is that? I said to myselve its because others dont care for what i have to say. I immediatly asked myselve where does this belief come from? And for some time now i'm doing inner child work, so my mind immediatly jumped to my childhood. I remembered myselve as a baby, crying, and nobody giving me any attention, in fact trying to shut me up, and denying me. The moment i remembered that i started to feel this deep helplesness, as though that was the first time in my life that i ever felt it. I dont even know how i can remember that, but i just did. This is HUGE for me, all my life i felt helpless around other people, i tried to solve this problem for i dont know how long. And just the thought that this might be the root cause blows my mind Hope this can be helpfull to some, for finding the cause of their problem

@Gabriel Antonio a subcouncious mechanism that would trigger and make me feel helpless every time a new experience resembles the one in the past.?

@DrewNows yep, i started to do that quet often lately, always when something would distress me i would try to remember into my childhood, what has someone told me, how did i respond, and how did it make me feel. And it started to play off

@ajasatya ty mate!

Dont assume that enlightenment is the cure for all your problems, it can be the exact opposite in some cases. At a point in this journey i was realy fucking aware, so aware and so in the preasent that i started to stand out, realy mutch. And whereever i would come people would notice it, i dont know what they would think of me but they would notice that something is different about me. But at the same time, my relationships sucked realy hard. I was realy aware but at the same time had realy bad issues in me, rearding relationships and trust and everything that goes into it. Even believe now i used counciousness work as an escape from relationships. And this two things combined lead to realy terrible results, catastrofic. So to sommerise dont assume that enlightenment is the cure for everything, especialy relationships. I know Leo speaks about that in many of his videos, but i just wanted to give a concrete example, on how enlightenment can backfire if you dont have other things in check. In my case terrible relationships.

@Girzo yep its not all bad, not even close, there is a bunch of positives, but its not a cure for everything.

@NoSelfSelf yep, exacly that. But there is this stigma that enlightenment is this otherwordly miracle, that cures you from all of your problems, and it is great, and it can help in many ways, but not all. That is a trap i fell into personaly

You werent free, you were and are enslaved, you just didnt see it, and now you are actively denying it, so that you dont need to take responsibility for it and work hard to set yourselve free.

Dont know how to describe how important self reflection is, so let me tell you what happened to me. This is actualy the second time i am doing this work, the first time went terribly wrong, and here is why... When i first saw all of Leos content i went nuts for it. I saw all the new possibilities for me and for my life and it just consumed me. I watched at least one video every single day, sometimes two or three. I started meditating, concentration practice, enlightenment work, you name it. The growth i got in only three months was insane, i grew more than i could ever imagine. I changed all my habbits i stopped playing video games completely, i faced some of the greatest fears i had, everything was great, untill i stoped for a moment, and started to reflect on everything that happened. And let me tell you, i was terrified. When i started to realize just what has everything happened in the last month or so it just hit me. I was in terror, completely gone. I didnt know who i was or what i want or what i was anymore. I spent the next six months in complete hell, complete insanity. Angry at everything, completely confused, anxious, depressed, in litteral hell...It took me half a year or so, in complete fear, after attempted suicide, to start to meditate again and to try to dig myselve out of that hole. Its been rugh, but its going better this time, five months passed and i am still alive ?. Only now i realize what realy happened, and where i fucked up. Dont make the same mistake as me, and get too mutch cought up in this work, that you dont even realize what you are doing. Because at some point you will have to stop, and then it will hit you, you'll go crashing down. Nearly made the same mistake again, but not this time.. I realized how important it is to stop and to reflect for a bit. To get some awarness on whats realy happening and to integrate everything, little by little.

Thx, i will try it out, and see where it brings me

I have realized that people can realy screw your life up, and that made me thinking about how to combat that. First i thought about standing up for myselve and to fight them, but then i realized it wasnt the best idea. People, who could and would screw your life up, feed on drama and attention, they also have no ethnic or moral standards, they dont value honesty or integrity, whitch brings you in a clear disadvantage. Then i realized it, dont fight them, but let them starve to death. That made me thinking about the importance of privacy and of keeping some things to yourselve. We are teached the importance of truth, and being truthfull and i agree with that, but i believe we must be truthfull with ourselve but not necesery with everyone else. I mean not lying but simply keeping some things for ourselves. There has to be a destinktion betwen being truthfull and telling everyone everything you are planing and trying to achieve, no matter whether they have good or bad atentions toward you. This is a trap i have personaly fallen into, and it can realy screw things up. I dont know if this could be a roadblock to achieving enlightenment, because enlightenment is the embodyment of truth, but in my oppinion privacy should be destingvished from lying and therefore present no problem.. I would like to hear your thouhts about it, is it ok, or will it eventualy have to be sheed too, to embody truth fully? Is there any problem that im not seeing?

I was thinking about how to 'Enlighten' the masses and if its even possible. History has shown us that every time someone has tried it, it failed terribly. Even when Enlightend masters like Jesus and the Buda tried to do it, it ended up as an religion, witch has the countereffect to its original goals. And even after all this attempts humanity hasnt evolved mutch. Maybe because its sutch a personal and individual process? I was wondering maybe only the few have the 'privilege' to attain this state? Or is it only a matter of more time, when humanity evolves as a whole? Like in the spital dynamics system?

Does meditation help with overcoming self doubt? I have read that self doubt is essentialy internal fears that have made its way into the subcouncious. Can meditation help me to easier overcome these fears?

Yep

So the last half a year so i was feeling strong preasure in my forhead, it would get stronger or less strong from time to time, but it would be there the majority of the time. And today i sat down to meditate and the preasure started again, pretty hard, so i decided to focus on it and to try to figure out why its there. At the begining i couldnt figure out why it was there, but as i went deeper and deeper a word came up...it was: 'i cant'. And as soon as i realized that i started twitchig and kinda releasing it, and the preasure in my forhead started to fade away...its still there but in a much lesser degree than before. Realy crazy how the mind and body work, its like the phrase infested my whole brain to the point it couldnt work properly, not just mentaly but physically too...crazy...

If you have serious mental or emotional problems, expl. Depression, Anxiety, various emotional problems, PTSD...try this... From my own experience, i know it is impossible to force yourselve to do something productive, or healthy, or even to concentrate on something, when you are in the gripts of these states. Thats why most kinds of meditations wont work for you, because you dont have the power or concentration requered to do them. Sadly positive thinking or any kind of theories wont work either, they will make things only worse and you will get lost in all the theory, with no exit or solution in sight. Antidepressanrs or any other kind of Medications wont do it either (atleast they didnt work for me), you will feel a little bit better and a little bit calmer, but you wont know why your depressed, and the second you stop taking them you will feel worse than ever. Lets get to the solution... Try doing do nothing meditation. This form of meditation is great because it doesnt requer any effort at all, you dont need to do any kind of mental of fizical activity, you just need to let your awarness wander wherever it wants and when you notice you are doing something just to stop doing it. expl. Stop focusing on something or stop thinking mindlessly of something. It might sound crazy that something like this works, but it does trust me. As you continue doing nothing (lol), you will start to remember repressed memories, and emotions will start to surface up, but you might still feel depressed or anxious, atleast for the first month. At the end of the first and second month you will start to see some changes in your mood and your behaviour, things will start to get easier and your mood will start to raise, and you will be able to do things again. You will get insights on why you are depressed, and you will be able to controll your thoughts a bit better. When you start doing the meditation i recommend you dont change anything other than that. Be depressed, be anxious, watch tv or youtube or anything else you are doing, just commit to doing this thing every single day, dont commit to anything else, but commit to this. Whatever happens, whatever you might think of or even if you feel worse than ever, force yourselve to do it. You dont need to do it in any specific time of the day, do it when you have the strenght for it, but do it every single day! At the beginning you will feel realy bad, and you wont want to do it, even after a whole month you might see only little results, but if you stick with it, and do it every single day, in a couple of months you will be depression free. If you prefere start with 10 min and build yourselve up to atleast 20 min a day. Only after a month and half or two, when you feel ready, stop watching mindless tv or youtube, completely stop. Do anything else, lay the whole day in bed if you want and just sleep, just stop watching it. That alone will make you so mutch calmer and motivated for live, you wont believe it, but only a month or two after doing the meditation. Dont do any big changes on the beginning, or you wont be able to handle it, and you will quit all together, only when you feel ready cut tv and youtube once and for all. Commit to doing meditation for one year, even if it doesnt work, commit to doing it for one whole year and see where it brings you, you dont have anything to lose, only to gain. Dont ever do Psyhodelics when your depressed or are experiencing being completely lost or helpless, and expect some miracle cure or crazy insight that will transform your life, it wont happen! You will experience the worst nightmare trip of your life, and be even more discuraged. Try psyhodelics only when you feel good, after atleast 4,5 months of ongoing meditation. And one more thing, after you feel a bit better, a good thing is to find some kind of goal you want to obtain, that will keep you moving forward, but only when you feel better and only when your thoughts get clearer and more positive. In my case it is the elimination of my suffering once and for all, no going back anymore. Props to Leo whome i have to thank for all the knowledge i gathered! I will attach some videos from him that i thing might be helpfull on your journey, i recommend you watch them, and gl.

Ye i will, thanks again

Just a simple question, does the do nothing meditation expand awarness like mindfullness meditation does? And if yes in what kind of way, i get it that mindfullness makes you more aware of the preasent moment, but what does do nothing do?

Got some idea now, thx for the link.